


Next time it will be better for sure! (hopefully)

by blurbluefrog (ForestFish)



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternative Group Formation, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Because yes, Crackhead content, Crossdressing, Fluff and Crack, Humour, Injured Character, Intimacy, M/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Not Beta Read, Other, Self-Indulgent, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Social Media, Song references, They're still musical, and that is all, and this is a mess, better come clean about that lol, dongjun and wowkwan are a thing and yuchannie is their supportive genius het baby, long chapters, ments of mob only joking and in self-defense, ments of rated activities, serendipitous events, sexuality struggles, temporary injury, youtubers au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-08-19 10:29:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 99,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16532852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestFish/pseuds/blurbluefrog
Summary: Donghun is at a weird spot in his life, juggling a part-time job at McDonald's with getting a degree he's not sure he wants and posting singing and dancing covers to his small, broke youtube channel. Chan is with him in his journey and one fateful night they pull an all-nighter before their morning shift at McDonald's and Channie introduces him to something called simply 'Jun's Tips'.Otherwise known as the youtubers au where everyone but Jun is posting music related content because for some reason he decided to be a Lifestyle/DIY youtuber when that's clearly not his forte.





	1. Jun's Tips

**Author's Note:**

> hello, choice, my homies, my fam. 
> 
> well, this is my second ace fic and i really don't know why im writing this (it's because im procrastinating my coursework lol) when there are far more gifted writers who could do it way better than me and a lot more coherently with a lot less typos but here it is, and i'm gonna go and get that code that lets u link things on here to link [RewindYJ](https://twitter.com/RewindYJ) because they came up with the idea of Horrible Lifestyle Youtuber Junhee as per seen [ here](https://twitter.com/RewindYJ/status/1059099028410023936). im the purple thing. anyway, the idea is there and there's even a reference to the beautiful chocolate cake but im projecting a bunch. i used to work mcdonald's and i'm also shit a diy bc i never have the right materials lmfao help. uhhhh. tell me things if u do read this mess and uh tell me if it's worth continuing? i have a couple lighthearted ideas in mind to continue this mess and i can pull massive pieces of text in the blink of an eye as u can see (the quality is dodgy at best but it is what it is /dabs) so it's likely that i'd finish it with the right motivation (something i severely lack). 
> 
> and that's enough messy stalling. enjoy this thing, i guess. bye-bye!

 

* * *

Youtube was a great place to waste your damn time. No, really, Donghun hated the platform. Yet, he had his own channel, which had amassed over half a million followers in about 3 years and he spent his time watching other youtubers. Wasting his damn time, really. He was juggling a lousy job, uni, and a failed youtube career all at once and for what? The adsense didn’t pay enough because he wasn’t out there making 10+ minutes videos or dissing other people (even though he wanted to do that like 99% of the time). He did covers of songs and no, youtube hadn’t paid for his recording equipment, his Regular People job had. He worked at a fucking McDonald’s joint and the reason why it wasn’t too bad was because he’d met Yuchan there, also a uni undergraduate, and the kid was everything good. He had gotten along with him right away due to common life situations and interests. He even had his own youtube channel where he did covers like Donghun but also vlogged every now and then. Donghun liked his channel and his silly vlogs too. Also, Yuchan became his friend at McDonald’s when nobody else would. He knew he was genuinely nice person on and off cam.

And no, Donghun didn’t have temper problems, like, fuck you? He was actually pretty loving and a slut for cuddles. It was nobody’s business if his damn face looked like he was sad. _He wasn’t sad._ Yuchan was literally his lifeline at that weird point in his life, since youtube paid him enough to maybe get food for two weeks per month and he was starting to question whether going to uni after getting discharged from the military had been a good idea.

“What will we be singing hyung?” He’d asked excitedly as Donghun got his recording stuff from the closet. Donghun shrugged. They’d decided to try doing some collabs, see if their channels grew and they started making more money out of that capitalistic hellhole website.

“I don’t know, we’ll pick in a minute.”

“You play an instrument?” Yuchan scanned the room for instruments that weren’t there “You never told me.”

“That’s because I don’t.” Donghun snorted “I can pluck the strings of a guitar but it’s shit. I don’t even own a guitar.”

“What’s this then?” Yuchan grinned holding a small plastic toy guitar with the Bare Bears stickers in his hands that he had just pulled out from under Donghun’s bed where he’d stored it and forgotten it until that moment.

“I won that at a fair a couple years ago.” He snorted “Why are you snooping under my bed?”

“Looking for secrets.” Yuchan grinned cutely and Donghun just didn’t have it in him to get mad at the boy especially not when he started to pluck at the cheap strings and singing a kids’ song. Donghun cackled “Too scared of touching the boxes your have there though” he said after finishing his rendition of the song. He sang well but the instrumental was rubbish “they’re dusty and gross.”

“Yeah, you better not touch them. That’s where I keep the bones of my dead enemies.” Donghun said nonchalantly and Yuchan, having known his weird humour for a while, laughed heartily. Donghun chuckled too “They just have books and junk that doesn’t fit anywhere else.”

“Boring. It’d be more exciting if it was the bones of your enemies.” Yuchan grinned and then he put the plastic guitar on the bed beside him “So, the song.”

“Yeah, the song. You can pull pretty much anything” he said as he set up his stuff, ready to start recording and turned on the laptop before going back to the microphones and the lights “and so can I.” He added as Yuchan chuckled “So, it’s a matter of picking one we both like.”

“Could it be one in English?”

Donghun groaned. His English pronunciation was kind of rubbish.

“We can give it a go. Gotta practice first though. My pronunciation is shit.”

“I’ve been into Counting Stars by One Republic lately.” Yuchan said and Donghun hummed. Yeah, he knew that song. It was nice.

“We can give it a go.” He agreed and Yuchan grinned getting off the bed to finally go make himself useful and look up the lyrics to the song.

 

* * *

 

In short it took them _hours_ to record and edit a 4-minute song cover because they had to memorise the lyrics and the _correct_ pronunciation before finally coming around to recording a version that came out smooth and felt. The frustration of the failed attempts of their duet added to the feeling of the song, really.

That was their first collab video and Donghun usually just smiled, waved at his listeners/viewers, said the song’s title and original artist’s name, and wished they enjoyed his cover. Then he edited the audio and added the cover to his soundcloud account for download. He got a mood-boosting number of downloads from his tracks. It didn’t pay the bills, but it made him feel validated which was also important.

He didn’t get much hate and when he did, he just ignored it and let his fans deal with it.

Yuchan had addressed the haters at one point by doing a dance cover, wearing shade shades a cowboy hat and denim pants with an ugly leather belt, shirtless and with hearts stuck over his nipples and pulled all the meme dance moves he could think of to the sound of a nightcore version of Keith Ape’s _It G Ma_.

It’d gone viral.

He’d passed the million subscribers in the blink of an eye because of that crackhead shit.

Donghun just couldn’t care. Sure, he could be a crackhead too, but he didn’t want to address the haters. They didn’t deserve his time. Plus, see? Even this guy with over a million subscribers was still working with him at McDonald’s, so it really wasn’t profitable to be a youtube singer unless you posted every day at least three times and ain’t nobody got time for that amount of editing.

 

* * *

 

It was 3am when they finished recording and they were working the morning shift the next day ( _that_ day, mind) so they decided to Caffeinate, pull an all-nighter and hope for the best.

(McDonald’s workers life and the demonic 5am shift. At least the joint they worked at didn’t have drive-thru, or they’d probably be pushed into that shit too.)

So, they decided to just watch funny videos to keep themselves entertained until they had to get out in a couple hours to start working.

“Oh, hyung, do you know ‘ _Jun’s Tips’_?” Yuchan cackled wildly as they sat in front of the computer after their third cup of coffee. The red bull cans were sitting ahead of them, waiting for their turn.

“Never heard of it.” Donghun downed the rest of his coffee and pushed the mug away “What do they do?” Donghun asked casually as he watched his number of subs grow thanks to the collab with the talented cutiepie ‘Kang Channie’. The viewers had loved it and Yuchan had posted it on his channel as well, linking ‘Lee Donghun’ (yes, his channel’s name was boring and not cute at all) and Yuchan said in the video that ‘Yes, we’re posting the same video on both our channels because youtube doesn’t pay well and we have to work outside of it so we don’t have time for more editing! Enjoy the same content twice!’ then he’d grinned and threw a peace sign that made Donghun laugh.

Honestly, people were equal parts in love with their duet and with Donghun’s laugh because it was the first time they heard it or saw it. He never laughed when he was alone, and his smiles were always just out of courtesy. This time he was with a friend though. A jolly one at that too. Donghun thought that maybe he should laugh more often but, really, when he was alone he just didn’t feel like it and he hated being fake on cam for views.

 

(Call him hipster all you like. He was keeping it real.)

 

“It’s this guy!” Yuchan cackled as he typed the name on the browser with laughy fingers “He does like, here” he’d gotten it. Over a million and half subs, that guy had! More than he and Yuchan had combined!

The channel description read:

 

_“Hi! I’m Park Junhee and I like to try to do things to make people’s lives happier, more beautiful and more enjoyable! <3” _

Donghun’s caffeinated brain and eyes thought the channel’s dp was a cat for a solid 3 seconds before he realised it was a human being. It was a guy with dyed blonde hair grinning from ear to ear.

“Okay” Donghun snorted as Yuchan subscribed him (Lee Donghun) to _Jun’s Tips_ without asking if he could. Donghun didn’t complain “what does he do?” He asked again “Looks like one of those diy and stuff channels.”

“Oh, hyung, he’s a lot more than that! Don’t judge a book by its cover!” Yuchan was losing his shit as he scrolled down the videos, certainly to look for a specific one he found particularly amusing “Here!” He cackled as he clicked a video titled:

 

_“DIY Cloud Lamp! [Easy-ish…]”_

 

“ _Ish_?” Donghun raised an eyebrow as Yuchan put the video in full screen mode. It started with ‘Jun’ smiling and waving at the camera as he excitedly told his viewers that he’d seen pictures of that lamp in many places and saw some videos teaching how to make it and thought it was really pretty. Donghun’s first thought was that the guy had a cute smile and that most likely had influenced the crazy number of subscribers he had.

 

 _“Today I’ll try making my own Cloud Lamp!”_ He said in the video, his voice was gentle and pleasant, and his excitement didn’t seem forced at all _“I have a really good feeling about it!”_

 

“He always does!” Yuchan had tears in his eyes and Donghun really didn’t know what he was finding so funny about that guy and his Cloud Lamp DIY. The video had a total of 7 minutes and _Jun_ had gathered the materials he needed along with the paper lamp, including a hot glue gun and some popsicle sticks along with cotton. He said that the tutorial said pillow stuffing, but he’d just gotten a ton of bags of regular cotton from the supermarket because it was close enough and also fluffy!

“Okay, why are you showing me DIY vid—” Donghun was going to ask why exactly Yuchan was finding the video of a guy making a cloud lamp so amusing when it looked so average until he saw the guy test the hot glue gun and shoot hot glue directly onto his own neck and gasped in horror. The guy gasped too and there was a jumpcut. His neck was red and shining from whatever he’d rubbed there in the scene after the cut. Probably burn ointment of some kind.

 

 _“Uh, so that can happen!”_ Jun said with a smile that absolutely did not show any pain _“Please remember to point the hot glue gun away from you at all times!”_ He winked at the camera and pointed. He succeeded in pointing but the guy kind of winked with both eyes and Yuchan was crying laughing.

Donghun snorted.

 

 _No way_.

 

That Jun guy had to be doing it for the views. There was no way he could be that clumsy for real. Then he unfolded the paper lamp after getting it out of the plastic wrap it’d come in and looked for the stretching piece. It was missing.

 

“No way, he got it out.” Donghun scoffed and Yuchan shook his head and played the scene again. You could see the plastic wrapper clearly and it was sealed. He’d had to rip it open. The stretching piece had never been there.

 

 _“Okay, so we don’t have a stretching piece…”_ Jun said, and he pursed his lips and scratching the nape of his neck genuinely thinking.

 

“Maybe with wire of some kind he could…” Donghun suggested to nobody in particular. Yuchan was just too far gone in his caffeine high and wheezing wildly. It was funny but not that much. Unless they hadn’t reached the funniest bits yet, whatever that meant.

 

 _“Oh, I have some leftover wire!”_ Junhee said happily and Donghun smiled at him and there was a jumpcut and he had the wire with him in the following scene.

 

“We’ll watch the wire video next!” Yuchan cackled “Oh God, wait, you’re not, you’re not ready for what will happen, hyung!”

 

Jun then proceeded to try to keep the paper lamp unfolded with the wire. It ripped the paper on both sides and looked messy as hell but he somehow managed to keep it unfolded despite it looking kind of oval instead of round.

“Well, it’s supposed to be a cloud and clouds aren’t round…” Donghun chuckled and Yuchan had a coughing fit as Junhee as if on cue said:

 

 _“Well, it’s supposed to be a cloud and clouds aren’t round so I guess it’s okay!”_ He clapped his hands and picked up the disgraced paper lamp looking at it and nodding _“It’s good, we can still work with it!”_

 

Donghun was probably too high on caffeine too. He was about to pull the x-files theme song up because that shit was wacky as hell. He’d guessed what’d he do and say twice already. He was on his first red bull can, sharing it with Yuchan because they were too lazy to open two at the same time.

Then they saw Jun pop all the cotton bags open and suddenly his working table was full of cotton.

“Why did he open all the bags?” Donghun asked.

 

 _“It’s easier to just open all the bags now”_ Junhee said as if replying to him and Yuchan choked on the red bull and spat all over Donghun’s desk _“because my fingers might get glue on them and it’ll be harder to open them then!”_

 

“God, don’t tell me he’ll get hot glue on his hands.” Donghun winced and Yuchan was too busy laughing to respond.

 

And that was _exactly_ what happened. He shot the hot glue onto the paper lamp and started gluing massive chunks of cotton to it with his bare hands.

“Use the goddamn sticks, idiot!” Donghun exclaimed in frustration pointing at the forgotten sticks as Junhee got his hands full of hot glue. There were a bunch of jumpcuts and it was sped up as he glued the cotton to the lamp with his bare hands like a goddamn idiot wincing and smiling regularly and finally ended up with the lamp glued to the table.

 

 _“Oh…”_ he said quietly crouching to see what was happening. His hands were red and full of glue and Donghun wanted to reach over the screen and smack him “ _it’s stuck… I guess that can happen too…_ _maybe that’s why you need the popsicle sticks!”_ He grinned and Donghun slapped his own forehead as he saw him try to peel the lamp from the table with the popsicle sticks. They got stuck on the glue instead _“Okay, maybe that’s not what they’re for… well… I guess I’ll have to get some scissors.”_ Jumpcup. He returned and there was now a chunk of cotton glued to the table and he’d glued more cotton to the bottom of the lamp _“Um, I guess it’s done!”_ He said happily showing off his messy creation with his hands covered in glue and a red glue burn on his neck _“It doesn’t look bad, does it?”_

 

“All things considered” Donghun offered with a sigh “it doesn’t. You on the other hand…” And Yuchan laughed.

“Wait, now’s the real deal! Wait for it!” Yuchan wheezed pointing and they kept watching the remaining 2 minutes of video.

 

 _“Oh, we need light too! I forgot that! Sorry!”_ Junhee said with a grin and there was another jumpcut and he returned with a _regular incandescent lightbulb_ , not _a led light bulb_ , and it seemed like he’d just pulled off the lampshade off some old lamp he had lying around “This should do.”

 

“Aren’t these cloud lamps supposed to go in the ceiling?” Donghun snorted as he saw Junhee struggle to shove the cloud disgrace over the lightbulb.

“Don’t question him, he knows what he’s doing!”

 

_He clearly didn’t._

 

Donghun had thought he was being clumsy and messy on purpose for the first 5 minutes, but his smile was just too sincere and he’d seriously gotten hurt. He really was trying his best to do that, he was just failing miserably. He finally managed to shove the new lampshade over the lightbulb after struggling to poke it through the paper lamp’s ripped hole. The cloud tipped to one side and the lightbulb was clearly touching the paper.

 

“Now we turn it on!” Jun said happily looking at the lamp on the table with the cloud lampshade askew. Then he grabbed it and walked over to the back where he had a power socket and put the lamp there on the floor before going over and turning off the filming lights and the ceiling lights. Donghun had a horrible feeling about it as he saw the guy’s shadow walk over to the cloud lampshade. He accidentally kicked it and apologised, giggling even though it was completely dark and he couldn’t be seen.

“He’s a damn dork.” Donghun snorted and Yuchan covered his mouth to muffle the sound of his laughter.

“Get ready, hyung!” Yuchan wheezed covering his mouth again and Donghun braced himself for whatever was about to happen.

For around 15 seconds, Donghun didn’t see what was so funny. The lamp turned on and the cloud was lit, illuminating the kneeling man beside it who was grinning happily at the success which turned out to be extremely short-lived.

 

 _“It works! I’m so— oh shit! OH SHIT!”_ He panicked as the sound of something bursting echoed in his room, inside the lamp, and it suddenly caught fire.

Donghun watched in complete horror as the lamp erupted in flames and Jun panicked, getting up and looking around to get something to put out the fire. He wasn’t in the dark anymore despite the lights being off. It deadass looked like he was doing a ritual and summoning some shit.

“Please don’t douse it with water.” Donghun pleaded holding on to the edges of his desk as Yuchan wheezed.

Donghun sighed deeply as he saw Jun pull out the plug from the power socket and then yelp as the flames grew higher before yanking off his shirt and, half-naked, started hitting the flames with it before covering it and ending in darkness. There was a jumpcut. He turned up with all the lights on in the following scene and a fresh shirt on. He was smiling at the camera, but the embarrassment was clear on his shining eyes.

 

 _“I am leaving the footage of me putting out the fire”_ he explained _“to show you how you should deal with electric fires. First cut the power of the object that’s catching fire if you can reach the cable safely and then you cover the flames or use a fire extinguisher. Never throw water because water may spread the fire!”_ He said looking very serious.

 

Donghun chuckled.

He was giving solid instructions. They’d received training at McDonald’s and knew the procedures on how to deal with different kinds of fire.

 

 _“About the lamp…”_ he paused a little a pursed his lips _“it kind of worked, didn’t it? It wasn’t a total failure!”_ He exclaimed cheerily _“Well, I think I should have written down the instructions so that I wouldn’t forget half of them… I’ll be leaving the_ actual _instructions in the description. This video isn’t a tutorial.”_ He pursed his lips and paused again _“I guess it can be a tutorial on how to put out electrical fires…”_ he chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the nape of his neck before adding a jumpcut and looking at the camera with a grin again _“And that is all for today, my friends! I wish you all the best! Next time it will be better for sure! So until then! Bye-bye!”_ Then he sent a flying kiss with his hand to the camera and once again tried to wink and yet again it looked like he was winking _with both eyes._

 

Donghun was completely stunned.

That was the weirdest fucking lifestyle/diy video he’d ever seen in his life.

In 7 minutes, the guy had shot hot glue onto his neck, coated his hands in the same glue, glued a lamp to a table, exploded a lightbulb, set a lamp on fire and pulled off his own shirt to put out the fire.

It simultaneously felt like it was a whole feature film and a vine.

“I don’t know what to say.” Donghun said, honestly, sipping on the red bull “I feel like… like I’m having an out of body experience.”

“I feel you!” Yuchan cackled, wiping his eyes “Wait, they made a vine out of the video!”

And sure enough, Donghun had been right. In 6 seconds, they’d managed to capture the essence of the video: smiling guy trying to make a cute lamp and ending up swearing and putting out a fire with his own shirt.

“Want more of Jun’s tips?”

“Tips on what _not to do_.” Donghun chuckled “Yeah, give me more of this crackhead.”

 

They watched what Yuchan had called the ‘wire video’, which was actually called _Valentine’s Day DIY Cute Wire Roses Gift Idea_ and again for a moment at the beginning, it really looked like he knew what he was doing with the wire and the pliers, but he didn’t. He didn’t know what he was doing _. At all._

Donghun was amused, sure but he was also frustrated because it was obvious that the guy was trying his best and he had looked at the instructions on how to do what he was about to do because he could enumerate them (the cloud lamp was kind of an exception because he’d probably failed to understand that the popsicle sticks were meant to keep your damn hands away from the hot glue). He just seemed to have the memory of a goddamn fish and forgot them halfway through as the accidents kept happening. He simply could not follow the instructions. Donghun watched frustrated as Yuchan wheezed, Jun, Park Junhee, that messy ass lifestyle youtuber, poke himself repeated with the wire on different parts of his body, but mostly his arms, chest and face as he twisted the wire with the pliers.

 _(“Oops.”_ Which seemed to be one of his catchphrases, really _“I hit somewhere that’s not appropriate for youtube!”_ Then he giggled and Donghun snorted before chuckling.

 _Oops_ was not something you say after poking yourself in the nuts with sharp wire.

Donghun was impressed at his resilience.)

 

The result was horrible, and those things only looked like roses if you had a really open heart and squinted a lot. He was happy with the result despite the several red marks covering his arms and cheeks and finished by saying:

 

 _“If it’s done with love, it doesn’t matter if it looks… well, not exactly like roses.”_ He giggled at the twelve (12) twisted-wire roses.

 

(Yes, he’d really done that many. Yuchan said that some jobless person had bothered to count the times he poked himself with the wire.

Exactly 55.)

 

“I wonder if he gave that shit to anybody” Donghun snorted and Yuchan cackled and shook his head.

“He didn’t, they turn up in a later video. He used them as decoration.” He explained as they watched Jun do his usual goodbye scene, adding a ‘ _Happy Valentine’s Day!_ ’ in the middle and again, sending a flying kiss and winking… _with both eyes._

“He winks with both eyes.” Donghun shook his head as Yuchan nodded in his wheezy laughing fit.

 

They ended up marathoning a bunch of Jun’s Tips videos until they had to leave. He had _dozens_ of videos so Donghun just let Yuchan show him the most iconic ones.

(Jun had actually tried to make an Easy-Peasy Microwave Mug Chocolate Cake but 1) he hadn’t used a mug because he didn’t have any at the moment since he’d broken the last one he had that morning 2) he’d used a glass – yes, a glass _glass_ – and 3) he hadn’t cracked the egg and only noticed he was supposed to do that when it exploded inside the microwave and the glass naturally shattered as well. In his stress he’d _obviously_ tried to pull out the shards and the mess that had come out that experiment with his bare hands. There was a jumpcut after he sighed at the disaster and he kept his hands suspiciously out of sight and didn’t send any flying kisses with his hand that time.

 

Donghun then wondered what the viewers had to say about it and was shocked to see that the positivity _by far_ outweighed the negativity and when anyone dissed him and called him fake (Donghun spiritually apologised for being sceptical at first) everyone else just did what Yuchan did when Donghun had doubted his honesty, and pointed out the evidence that he wasn’t fake. He was genuinely just horrible at that kind of stuff, but he was trying his best to teach people things that would make them happy.

His positive attitude despite his clear lack of diy skills was seriously admirable. As was his persistence in continuing to make that kind of content.

“I just wonder how on Earth he’s still alive, really.” Donghun said and Yuchan cackled “Wait, I’m gonna comment.”

“Don’t be mean, hyung!”

“I’m not gonna be mean.” Donghun promised and he meant it. He just wrote.

 

**You’re an inspiration, Park Junhee. Keep the smiles coming.**

 

“Aw, that was actually sweet, hyung!” Yuchan grinned at the comment “I mean, that’s what a lot of people say.” He scrolled down the comments’ section and it was true. Many people genuinely liked Junhee for his smiles and his positive attitude despite constantly failing and they said that. There were plenty of ‘ _Fighting! Next time will be better for sure_!’ and then the non-believers who were promptly shut down by everyone else. Jun’s videos mostly had more views than the channel had subscribers and that really said something about the creator. He was charismatic in his dorky way and he drew people in with his smiles and persistence.

Making burgers the next day would be an extraordinary experience. Donghun could hardly wait to flip burgers as _‘Next time it will be better for sure!’_ in Junhee’s voice played on repeat in his head.

* * *

 


	2. A Different Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun kind of marathons all of Jun's Tips videos before reaching the last, and most mindblowing one. It's late and he's tired and messy (also gay).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there again, choice, my lovely fam
> 
> so, i said it'd be posted sometime during this week and i was kind of planning to post tomorrow to have more time to revise but i guess i'll look for typos later and ask once again for your understanding for the eventual lack of coherency of dumb typos and/or mistakes. there was sth else i wanted to write here but its late and the meds are kicking my ass lol ahhhhhh.... well, it's taking a weird turn but it's still going where i planned to take it, if i did continue it (which i am). i guess it may not be what ur used to, not saying that this is completely unexpected and that i rule twistland (im actually horrible at playing twister lol). my point is mostly that it's not that predictable even tho the plot is. the resolution is predictable, the path isn't. that's probably what im trying to say and im sorry if that sounds dumb.
> 
> anyway, i hope you dig men in drag, body positivity, woke junhee and chaotic gay donghun. wowkwan are introduced here and yep they're a thing, gotta go edit the tags and stuff. this'll actually be a double update because i wasn't lying when i said i can write a lot in very little time (again the quality may not be the best but it is what it is and i have fun writing so, it is what it is. i just hope some of you enjoy it too). 
> 
> more messy notes in the next chapter, then i'll say bye jkhgkjdfh

* * *

 

Donghun was seriously considering dropping out of Uni. He’d gotten a professional degree in IT before enlisting but he hadn’t found any jobs in that area (mostly because he had no connections). At the time he’d been giving vocal lesson to kids for some extra change. Then he’d finished his degree and wandered about for a while trying to find a job in the area. Since he didn’t, he just enlisted and gained himself two extra years to stall before doing something else. After that, well, if you’re thinking that he wandered about again and was pretty much lost, you’re right. That’s why he enrolled in University, Business Management. It was a useful degree and his parents hadn’t opposed his decision, but his mum had seriously questioned why on Earth he wasn’t pursuing a professional singing and/or dancing career when he had been given The Gift and The Passion for those art forms.

He didn’t know really.

She was aware of his youtube channel and called him every single time he posted a new cover complaining about how good it was and how much talent he was wasting with another degree and working part-time. Was he a masochist?

Well, maybe he was? Or not really. He wasn’t a masochist. Sometimes you don’t do the things you want to do even when everyone tells you to go for it and the reason isn’t exactly masochism or stubbornness. Donghun thought about it quite a bit and he knew why he was wasting his damn time stalling his life and posting covers on youtube.

He was terrified of failing if he tried _for real._ Youtube didn’t feel like a real attempt at music and, sure, he had an impressive following for a singer/dancer who posted once a week (at best) and the fact that he made some money out of that hellhole website was mood-boosting. Still.

_Still._

He was absolutely terrified of failing. He made sure that all his covers were as perfect as possible and even then, even then… he sometimes felt like they were weak even when his fans said otherwise and told people to stream his covers as if he was some idol and not just some nerd on youtube with no original content.

(I was kind of embarrassing to think about them as ‘fans’ but the motherfuckers had even given themselves a fandom name,

_Huneys._

Yes. They fucking called themselves _Huneys_ and there had been literally nothing he could do about it.)

 

* * *

 

Ah, it was one of those nights. Donghun was in his thoughts thinking too much and not relaxed at all.

A couple days had passed since Chan and Donghun had pulled all-nighter and watched Jun’s tips.

 

(They’d lived by the way. At 3pm when they finished their shift, they were both sleeping on their feet, so they decided to go back to Donghun’s place and sleep together. It felt safer than returning to their respective places alone.

Plus, sleeping with company, especially when that company was Yuchan, a human power bank, was always better than sleeping alone in the bleakness of his tiny flat.)

 

That day, his and Chan’s schedules didn’t match. Chan’s shift was after his, so they’d met in the changing rooms when Channie was changing into the Beautiful and Ever so Flattering McDonald’s uniform. Chan had given him a big hug, which he’d gladly and thankfully returned before kissing his forehead and wishing him good luck for the night. Chan’s happy-go-lucky attitude had boosted his mardy mood (he’d had a particularly shitty day in the kitchen because one of his co-workers kept messing up the goddamn sauces and the burgers were all being returned because of that idiot. That meant that he had to assemble them again and bin the ones with the wrong sauce even though they were perfectly good burgers that could be given out to homeless people in the streets just outside the fucking restaurant.

Anyway.)

 

“We’re getting paid, hyung, that’s what matters! Enjoy your rest!”

Donghun smiled and ruffled the kid’s hair before giving him another hug.

“Thanks, Channie.” He said “Text me when you’re home, okay?”

“Okay, hyungie, don’t worry. Talk later!” Chan grinned and out he went to go press his employee number onto that rotten clock in machine.

Then Donghun went home, showered and lied in bed with his laptop. He should probably read the recommended bibliography, but he was so tired of that degree that he quickly thought _‘fuck it’_ and went on youtube. Well, as expected, considering that he’d been watching nothing else on that website but that guy’s videos for the past couple days, Jun’s Tips were all ever his recommended list.

Well, yes, he was kind of marathoning his videos. No, scratch that. He was definitely binge watching them. That guy’s smile and positive attitude despite his On Brand Failed DIY/Lifestyle tips seemed to have some sort of hypnotic and/or cathartic power over him. Donghun legitimately felt the anguish of his dreadful job, course, life struggles seep out of his body like a parasite being removed and vaporised when he watched Junhee try his best and do a horrible job with a smile before saying his trademark ‘ _Next time it will be better for sure!’_ and winking with both eyes.

 

It really was one of those nights though because Donghun was hiding under his bed covers with his laptop and bawling his eyes out without really knowing why at first.

It was dumb. Why the fuck was he crying because of silly diy videos?

Jun had tried to make a DIY corner shelf with cheap IKEA decorative square thingies but, as usual, he’d enumerated the instructions, that time he’d even bothered to write them down, but he’d still somehow ended up gluing his fingers together, having to reassemble the shelf thing twice because he’d forgotten to clip the pieces together as the glue dried and had glued some of the parts the wrong way, meaning that he had to get a drill. Donghun had feared for his safety for real but he hadn’t hurt himself. He’d just poked holes too big because he didn’t know where the smaller drill bits were and then he’d smacked his thumb with the hammer when he’d nailed the nails on the wall. Yet, he smiled through the pain. There was jumpcup and he had a different outfit. He said his finger had to go in the ice and been very careful with it and was filming that two days after assembling the shelf (which was terribly asymmetrical because he’d gotten pieces in different sizes even though the instructions _were clear_ and said _‘same sized square pieces’_ ). He’d still hung it on the corner and it looked…well, like it belonged in MOMA. He’d painted it yellow (needless to say he’d gotten paint all over his hands, arms and face) and dried it with a blow drier at maximum power. The paint had slid off and was showing some of the prints of the pieces he’d gotten.

That was the most useless shelf in the world, he’d said himself, giggling at how fragile it was but then there was a jumpcup and he was grinning and had a stack of colourful paper with him. He cut several flowers from the paper using a template and then pulled up a string of safe led fairy lights that worked on AA batteries. He put the flowers and the fairy lights on the shelf, went over to the lights to turn them off and returned to the corner where he turned on the lights. The fairy lights illuminated his smiling face and the flowers on the asymmetrical DIY corner shelf.

 

 _“Ta-da!”_ He’d said happily _“Doesn’t it look pretty!?”_

 

_It did._

 

There was a jumpcut and the lights were back on. The fairy lights were still on. Junhee was smiling warmly at the camera, his eyes shining.

 

 _“It didn’t come out as nice and useful as the one in the instructions, that I’ll leave in the description_ as _usual!”_ Junhee said _“But_ ” he added grinning _“it wasn’t a complete failure! I can use it as decoration! It really gives the room a warm glow, doesn’t it?”_

 

 _You give the room a warm glow, you crackhead._ Donghun sobbed, chuckling onto his sleeve.

 

 _“And well, next time it will be better for sure! So until then! Bye bye!”_ He sent his flying kiss, his hand still with bits of dried glue stuck to it and grinned. Donghun sent him a kiss back and gasped for air. What kind of fucking magic did that guy have? Why was he crying at 1am over the videos of some guy’s shitty DIYs? Was it his smiles? Probably. But not only. It was something else, he just didn’t know what.

He was ready for one more out of body experiences when he realised that there was literally just one more video, he hadn’t watched yet.

There was nothing else. It’d been posted four days before, so he was active but…

“No…” Donghun complained barely seeing through his puffy eyes “oh don’t tell me there’s nothing else…”

This last video he’d posted though, seemed to be an indirect way in which he acknowledged the fact that he was indeed very clumsy.

 

 _“Hello, my friends! I hope you’re doing great today and if you’re not for some reason I hope that watching this video will cheer you up and give you some ideas if you’re prone to accidents!”_ He grinned from ear to ear and stared at the camera for a solid two seconds. Donghun cackled through the tears. What a damn dork! _“It’ll be a bit different today! Different is good, though, isn’t it?”_ He grinned from ear to ear and Donghun started paying closer attention. Oh _? “So, I watched some tutorials on things to do when you’re clumsy and it appears to me that many of you are girls, so I found this set of tutorials for when you’re clumsy which was done by a girl. Some of the tips are clearly aimed at girls and I’m doing those as well, yes”_ he paused and there was a small jumpcut and he was suddenly whispering into the microphone next to the camera. Donghun felt chills run down his spine. That was some ASMR shit _“and if you’re a boy and have these problems too, then this video is also for you, don’t worry!”_ He winked with both eyes again and smiled before the next jumpcut.

 

Donghun felt his heart flutter and felt a little threatened.

 

Well, for starters, that was probably the first video he’d ever posted where he mostly didn’t mess up. The first couple of tips were general hacks, such as parsley and ice to take care of a black eye, a 90s/00s style chain to hold your phone with a ring holder and prevent it from dropping on the floor and smashing the screen, and tips to get rid of ketchup stains (hella useful that one, really). Even though he’d dropped the phone before actually managing to do the hack _“The screen isn’t smashed!”_ he’d said happily, he really didn’t mess up that much. _Okay,_ he also popped the ice cubes out of the tray and made a mess with them on the table before cutting his finger a little while chopping the parsley, but it was nothing too dramatic like setting a lamp on fire and exploding a glass in the microwave with a whole egg in it. They were just regular on brand Park Junhee small accidents.

 

 _Well,_ everything was family friendly and funny until he jumped into the ‘ _girly things’_ like it was nothing and Donghun almost perished.

The confidence with which he was wearing see-through stockings and high-heels along with a red dress made Donghun feel all the blood rush to his face. He looked so natural and so damn pretty in that outfit. Like many people, judging from some comments, he’d expected him to trip over his feet on the heels, but he didn’t. _At all._ He even did a little twirl in the dress and made a pose before sending a kiss to the camera with the lips he’d just painted bright red with the homemade anti-stain lip tint. He also had amazing legs. His thighs were to make one lose their damn mind.

 

Donghun felt like he’d really had reasons to feel threatened earlier in the video because _holy shit._

 

His legs weren’t very feminine in the stereotypical sense, but they were sinewy and fit and overall beautiful. Donghun was seriously flying somewhere out of his body. When Junhee sat down and pulled up the dress only to _shamelessly_ reveal his flawless and completely hairless inner thighs Donghun held his breath.

 

(Thankfully he’d taken off the stockings off-cam because _bloody hell._ Youtube would probably flag that shit as inappropriate for minors. Or maybe not. Because youtube was as sexist as it was homophobic.

Anyway.)

 

 _“My thighs don’t really get chafed because I don’t wear skirts very often, sorry”_ he giggled in too much of an adorable way for someone who was about to get flagged _“so let’s imagine they are chafed”_ the camera was pointing at his thighs and not his face “ _if you rub some deodorant like this”_ he rubbed some on them _“the skin on your inner thighs will get dry and won’t get chafed! Isn’t it amazing!? I imagine that it’s painful, and I’m really sorry if you have to endure that pain!”_ Then there was a jumpcut and he showed his sweet smiling face again _“I did wax my legs and stomach for this video, so my respect for people who wax their body regularly is currently over the roof! It was painful!”_ He said seriously _“I thought about filming the process but…”_ he shrugged _“there was no point. It’s not a big deal.”_ Jumpcut “ _Point being, it was painful and I respect you if you choose to do that regularly!”_

_Yet you fuck yourself up all the time and never complain, jerkpot. Oh god, cover those legs!_ Donghun pleaded almost in tears this time for an entirely different reason.

He also had an amazing butt (of course he did, duh, Donghun almost scoffed. God had been been extra generous on that guy) and Donghun wasn’t being a pervert, _really._ How could he not notice his ass when he literally turned it to the camera to show how to quickly fix ripped pants with staples? Then he showed how to avoid sweat marks under armpits by using daily sanitary towels and Donghun was seriously flabbergasted at how confident he was with all those typically feminine products and wearing typically feminine clothes. This guy was on another level of existence.

 

Donghun couldn’t believe Park Junhee was a real breathing man who was out there somewhere being that confident.

 _He just couldn’t_. Not that late in the night and not as physically and mentally exhausted as he was (or _had been_. He felt amped up watching that guy and he was saving him money on the heating because, _damn,_ was it getting hot in that room or what!?

 

 _“At the boys watching”_ he said with a warm smile _“don’t be ashamed of getting these at the supermarket. Ignore the mean comments people may say about you. You’ll be the one with the dry armpits while they look nasty!”_ He grinned cheekily. Donghun chuckled and breathed heavily.

 

There was no way he could be real.

 

Jun was a serious inspiration. He wasn’t just a meme. Park Junhee was seriously inspiring people to live their best lives at the cost of clowning himself due to his lack of diy skills. He was inspiring them to keep trying even if they failed constantly.

(Not in that particular video, good Lord be praised for its _scorching_ existence… okay, maybe not the Lord then.

Anyway).

 

Donghun held his breath when he pulled out a pair of thigh high boots and, while wearing nothing but a pair of frayed short shorts and a loose crop top, showed his viewers how to keep the boots from sliding down his legs with double side tape. Then he walked back and forth, legitimately like he was the king of the catwalk and then did a little twirl again. He really knew how to walk on heels and keep his damn balance like he’d been doing it for years.

 

 _“Magic, right?”_ He said with a grin, opening his arms and Donghun nodded.

_Magic indeed._ Donghun muttered at the screen.

 

Then Junhee chuckled and deftly sat on the table with his legs crossed in those damn boots and leant onto one hand, tilting his head to the side before showing off a completely different cat-like grin.

Donghun had to pause the video to make sure he wasn’t having a _weird_ dream. He looked back at the screen after staring at the ceiling for a solid five seconds.

Nope, Jun had really done that.

 

He was getting his ass flagged for sure, Youtube wouldn’t have mercy on him.

 

 _“I might get flagged”_ he said, lowering his voice and Donghun gasped _“but I don’t mind”_ he shrugged lightly _“see, I’m an average-sized man and I dress like a man and I feel like a man”_ he said gently almost paternally _“but I’m wearing these clothes that were designed for women. People gave me weird looks when I asked for my number in this type of boots”_ he kicked the air with them and – _definitely getting flagged –_  his thighs were simply impossible to keep one’s eyes from and Donghun could see the contours of something that was _definitely not appropriate for youtube_ , as Junhee had put it when he’d poked _it_ with sharp wire _“I couldn’t find them”_ he said _“I couldn’t find my number”_ there were no cuts, he was speaking in a single coherent and flawless stream of words without cuts _“so I ordered them from the US. Same with the heels”_ he gestured with his chin at the bright yellow 15cm high-heels he had beside him on the table _“it seems like we’re behind as a country when it comes to inclusion and many things that other countries already have in a way.”_ He smiled gently and Donghun’s jaw dropped. He was calling out their country on its bullshit. _Holy shit._ _“I would have had to order special sizes to get feminine shoes that fit me and that would cost me about as much as ordering from abroad.”_ He paused and pursed his lips, his eyes fixed on the camera _“I know because I asked in the stores I looked in.”_ Another pause, no cuts, he uncrossed and crossed his legs again, switching the one on top _“Which were many.”_ He clarified before licking his bright red lips and pursing them _“My point here is that I don’t mind getting flagged in this video and that’s why you could see my entire legs and stomach”_ abs, really, he was ripped all over _“in this video. I think that this is something that should be addressed.”_ He hopped off the table, gracefully landing on the heels of the boots and leaning against the table “ _I also don’t mind being called ugly names in the comments by the people who don’t understand what it’s like to be different_. _I didn’t know what it was like to have my kind of body and want to wear these type of clothes and shoes_ ” he said “ _now I know and it makes me sad because I know that there are people like that out there and I believe that they should be able to wear whatever makes them feel happy and pretty. I, for one”_ he pointed at the crop top and raised his arms. It rode up all the way to his ribs and Donghun gulped as Junhee smiled cheekily _“really like these crop tops. I enjoy the breeze on my stomach.”_ Then he lowered his arms _“And I know my stomach doesn’t have chub in it.”_ He said warmly after a small meditative pause _“But if yours does, this one goes especially to the girls!”_ He pointed and smiled and still, there were no cuts “ _You shouldn’t be ashamed to show it off. Don’t worry about what other people might say or their mean looks! If you like and it makes you feel pretty, then wear them and show the world your beautiful chubby tummies!”_

 

Donghun kind of wished he was chubby at that moment really. That’s how powerful Junhee’s positive inspirational talk was. He barely ate the food at McDonald’s though and spent his time running around so he really had no actual chub to show. Sad.

 

There was finally a jumpcut and Junhee hadn’t taken off his feminine clothes _“Well, we see men on TV dressed in girly clothes but it’s usually for humours purposes when for many men and people with my type of body who unlike me don’t feel like men, this isn’t a joke. It’s who they are and I personally believe that there’s nothing wrong with it.” He smiled and did a flower cup pose “Don’t I look cute dressed like this?” Hot,_ Park Junhee _, isn’t the same as cute._ But the top was indeed cute. There was another jumpcut and that was the end of the video _“And that’s a wrap! This time it was good despite a little failing here and there, wasn’t it? I hope you enjoyed this video, I know it was a bit different, but it was something I really wanted to do for a long time and I hope that you understood what I was trying to say and that this video will make some people more conscious!”_ He smiled “ _And next time it will be better for sure even though I think it was pretty good this time!”_ He giggled and Donghun chuckled at his honest little proud _smile “So until then! Bye-bye!”_ The flying kiss was sent from his still bright red lips and the video ended and Donghun sighed deeply looking at the dark ceiling of his bedroom.

_Holy shit._

 

He played the video two more times to fully process what he’d just seen.

It was really brave of him to go out there and put himself on the line to speak up about something like that. To show his support to the non-binary community like that. Donghun looked in the comment section to check if there was negativity, ready to fight the assholes but they were already being fought _. Viciously._ Some fans expressed how surprising it’d been to hear him talk that openly about such a delicate subject, but it was positive surprise, they wrote, and made them think because he’d said it in such a gentle way. The trolls and homophobic (or transphobic, really) assholes were being mass reported and called all the names in the book along with getting lectured. The video had four days and it already had 5million views and the like/dislike ratio was amazing. He had over a million likes and a measly 50k dislikes. He’d passed the 2m mark because of it. The international fans had gone wild about that video and bothered to add English subs and were wilding in the comment section calling him the _Korean Messiah of Trans Rights Activism_. Donghun didn’t know a lot of English but it seemed like the subject was a huge deal abroad. He gave it some thought and realised that indeed Junhee had effectively gotten his point across. There was no better way to show that you understand and support a group of people than by presenting yourself like them in a respectful and not clownish manner which had been basically what he’d done.

 

(Donghun finding it hot was probably not an isolated case, really. He could see that he’d done it for a very clear purpose though, one that hadn’t been solve Donghun’s heating problem.)

 

Then the lack of Junhee content and the fact that he honestly missed him, made him spend some time watching fan compilations of Junhee’s funniest fails and then a compilation of his smiles. Donghun clearly wasn’t the only one being bewitched by that strange man. He was crying at 2am over Junhee’s smile and he missed him. He wanted more content.

 

_Social Media._

 

Donghun remembered there was life outside youtube and Junhee would likely have Instagram or Twitter or something. _Anything._ He looked in his channel and there they were. He followed him on every social media he could.

His Twitter account was filled with kind messages to his fans (small clips, photos, text messages, replies,…) along with the promos of his new videos (Donghun’s just had a couple selfies, some comments on some subjects here and there and promos).

 

Donghun felt attacked by his Instagram though. He had a load of pretty pictures of places he’d been along with smiling selcas, however, his Not-So-Soft selcas made Donghun want to throw the computer. There was one particular picture with him with black hair deadass giving the camera bedroom eyes.

The duality of that man was criminal, really. Donghun wanted to file a lawsuit and saved the picture.

 _Well,_ he saved all the pictures like a fucking creep, really, but he’d make that one his damn lockscreen.

Was it gay? Yes, yes it was. Did he have a crush on a guy he didn’t know? Probably. Was he wild and messy that night? Most definitely. Otherwise he wouldn’t have commented,

 

**Daddy :’(**

 

Under that particular selca and then he turned off his laptop and put it aside. He got a text from Channie a little bit later. He was waiting up for his text.

 

**My Baby Channie**

New Messages (4)

Im home hyungie

[photo sent; it was him looking tired but definitely at home and with the time stamp that proved he’d just taken it]

Im gonna shower and go to bed

Goodnight, hyungie <3

2:46am

Glad ur safe home bby

Goodnight

Ily <3

2:47am

 

* * *

 

 

Donghun woke up to the all hell breaking loose, apparently. Only that it wasn’t really breaking loose and nothing bad had happened for real. When he grabbed his phone after the alarm rang, he noticed that he had 15 new messages from Yuchan and had a mini-heart attack though.

 

**My Baby Channie**

New Messages (15)

HYUNG WHAT THE HELL DID U DO LAST NIGHT???

OH GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE U REALLY DID THAT

U CALLED PARK JUNHEE DADDY

SOME PEOPLE NOTICED IT

9:06am

BUT I WAS QUICK TO SAY IT’D BEEN ME PLAYING WITH YOUR PHONE

THEN I POSTED SOME STUPID PICS OF US TO SHOW THAT WE’RE REALLY FRIENDS

HYUNG, YOU’RE A MAD LAD!     

I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

I HAD TO CLEAN UP YOUR GAY MESS LMAO

I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

9:07am

But he did look hot as hell in his latest video ngl

A woke sexy king

Id call him daddy too

Or mummy

Whichever he wanted

9:08am

 

Donghun stared at the string of messages for a solid five seconds not fully awake yet and not sure why he was stressed until he remembered the messy, and _definitely_ gay, comment he’d left under _Junhee’s Bedroom Eyes photo_ and sighed deeply. He went on ig to check the pictures Yuchan had posted of them. A batch of silly selcas and a couple of weird Donghun pictures he’d taken. People seemed to have loved that dumb content though because the number of subs/follows he had on all his social media profiles increased dramatically. That had really been a solid deflection and Yuchan had really worked fast to save him from potential homophobic waves he didn’t want to have to deal with. Yuchan literally had had to clean up his gay mess.

 

Shit, im sorry

U had to clean up my shit

I was really messy last night

yikes

9:10am

 

Hyung oh god

U have a crush on Park Junhee??

Im laughing so hard jgkhfdjhg

U got a crush on the cute diy meme guy welp

9:11am

 

Now that wasn’t true! Junhee felt a little pissy at the suggestion.

 

How can I have a crush on a dude I don’t know

That’s dumb

I just think he’s cute

And I was feeling extra gay last night

Like come on

That video got flagged for real

9:12am

He was deadass giving us bedroom eyes in that pic

And I was in bed

What was I supposed to do

9:13am

U were spposed to go to sleep hyung lmao

And not call some random guy who’s younger than u daddy on the internet djsdkhf

9:13am

I agree tho, that pic caught me off guard too when I first saw it

Wasn’t ready for hard junhee

Sensitive ass material, protect the children

9:14am

 

Donghun laughed at how lightly Yuchan was taking it and he thanked every deity that ever been believed in for his existence in his life and in the world in general.

 

 

Ur still mad tho

The nationals were shocked at your random wild gay comment

But the intl fans were wilding from what I picked up

I think they ship u w/ him now lol

9:15am

 

Donghun scoffed as he got up and shook his head.

 

Well, screw that

Idc

That’s dumb too

How can u ship 2 ppl who have never met

Crazy jobless ppl

9:16am

Plus

We have nothing in common

Me and junhee

It’s literally the craziest fkn thing I’ve ever read

Lol I swear these ppl should get jobs ffs

9:17am

Tru but dw hyungie

Channie took care of everything uwu

Did u like the pics I posted? Kekeke

9:17am

Well, ur a lil shit that’s for sure

But I got more subs and shit lol

Ppl liked me looking ugly

Lol

9:18am

Lol hyung no

Ur handsome, u can’t look ugly even when u try to

That’s a fact

And don’t question me

These are cold hard facts.

I got them from the encyclopaedia of

PTTPPTTPTPTPTPT

9:18am

That damn vine lol

Also, thx  channie

Ur the prettiest and sweetest angel

I can’t wait to smooch u as a thanks

For cleaning up my gay mess <3

9:19am

Later hyung uwu

9:20am

That’s how I like my baby

Letting his favourite hyung give him kisses

Perfect

Im already liking this day -3-*

9:21am

Same lmao

And hurry up hyung your classes start in about half an hour

9:22am

Ah, yeah, ur right

<3

9:22am

Why are u even awake

9:23am

My Donghun Hyung messed up senses tingled and woke me up

Lmao jkjk it was actually kwannie hyung who warned me

9:23am

 

Donghun was getting dressed as he looked at the texts and raised an eyebrow. Why on Earth would Byeongkwan, who was serving with his boyfriend, had warned him about that?

 

What

That’s so weird

How did he even find that

I don’t rmb being that attentive to social media when I was serving

I barely replied to txts

9:25am

Well theyre getting discharged soon

Idk how he got it so quickly

He just said that ud said sth wack under junhee’s pic

Idc how he got it

Im glad he did

9:25am

Otherwise ud have been Big Screwed hyung

Ur mum watches ur vids

And ur not out despite being the most open gay I know :/

9:26am

 

Donghun sighed deeply and snorted. He was already dressed and was in the bathroom doing his skincare routine, so he didn’t reply immediately. He was rubbing the aftershave on and the sting made him wince as he remembered vaguely what he’d been up to the previous night. _Who was currently his lockscreen_.

Well, fans had their faves as their lockscreen all the time, didn’t they? The difference was that Junhee was no idol and Donghun was a goddamn messy gay. He wasn’t closeted, really. Chan wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was open about his love for men.

He’d known since he was around 15 and realised, he was into dudes entirely and wholeheartedly. He followed the old girl groups mostly before accepting that he was way more attracted to SHINee and 2PM on a physical level than he was to 2ne1 and SNSD. Well, he still had their posters in his room and he still loved their work, so it was easy to play off his sexuality to his parents, which was on display on the walls of his room in the form of massive _definitely_ sexualised pictures of his favourite male idols, as he sang their songs and danced to their choreographies. It was somehow weirder for a man to dance and sing girl group choreos and songs than for a man to dance to boy group choreos and songs which was a big plus for youngling Gay Donghun, blasting 2PM and dancing to their songs. He wished he could come out, but his family wasn’t that open-minded, he didn’t think, so that would be something to bring up later on. _Yeah_. He was scared and well, he wasn’t the only one. Byeongkwan and Sehyoon had been dating for three years and marriage was just a matter of bravery on either of their parts and they weren’t out to either of their families yet.

(Donghun had his bets on Sehyoon and Chan had his on Byeongkwan, claiming that Sehyoon was too shy to do that. Yes, fair point. But he was also romantic and one to show his love in actions. He wouldn’t be shocked if he randomly dropped on one knee and pulled out a ring out of his pocket along with tickets to the US so that they could marry in Vegas like in some shady romcom.)

 

Sorry, was doing skincare

9:40am

Now im gonna run to the bus

U go back to sleep

I’ll drop by later when my classes are over

9:41am

Aight hyung

Talk later

Im sleepy af

9:42am

Sleep tight baby

Hyung wll be over later

<3

9:42am

* * *

 

Donghun felt like he wasted his damn time in classes that morning, really. Were you paying attention to his classes? Right, you weren’t there. Neither was him. His mind was off somewhere with Junhee’s videos and his smiles and his positive attitude despite the constant failed attempts at lifestyle/diy tutorials. _Also_ his legs and his _criminal_ bedroom eyes but that really wasn’t it.

He kind of wished he could talk to him and just… well, he didn’t even know what he’d say to him. He’d really act like a silly fan and thank him for being such an inspiration and then say he was cute while running away. Good fucking thing the dude wasn’t an idol because if he was, Donghun would be spending all his savings on albums to get a chance to meet him at a fansign.

It was official. Lee Donghun was losing his damn mind over a damn wacky youtuber (who just so happened to be the perfect combo of cute and hot but that really wasn’t the reason why Donghun was losing his mind.

Honestly, Junhee made him want to risk it all.)

* * *

 


	3. Meeting Jun... sort of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun is put on till for a change and meets Park Junhee in the flesh. The meeting is nothing like he'd envisioned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there again, it's the same day and this is a double update, i hope u dont mind long chapters (the funny part is that i'm actually trying to keep them short lol welp)
> 
> once again, sorry about the typos and the sort. so this chapter has very fluffy donghan cuddles which are completely platonic (kisses can be platonic too. ppl kiss babies all the time because they're cute). then donghun is at the till and meets Junhee and ends up taking care of him because he's in a very poor state. i'll tag but won't spoil what exactly happens. i said this wouldn't be angsty but i guess it is a bit angsty, however, i don't do horribly painful angst. u can trust me. it ends fine and i don't drag the angst. it'll probably be just this chapter and maybe a sprinkle here and there in the others but this is the angstiest it'll get. also, yes, people can be kind and do nice things for others without having any ulterior motives as weird as that might sound on this day and age. it happens to me all the time and i do it back as often as i can. u know if ppl can be horrible for no reason, it's only logical that ppl can be kind for no reason as well, right?
> 
> im not sure what u'll feel about this but it's what came out and it's what i'll post in the hopes that you like it. again, remember that this is self-indulgent so yeah, there's that. but it ends well. i promise.
> 
> anyway, see u soon and, uh, idk tell me what u think? i know im not that great and i take criticism well and yea, talk to me. i like to talk fjhgjkdfhg bye-bye <3

* * *

 

Thankfully Donghun only had morning classes and was free to leave at half past 11 and go sneak into Chan’s bed to be lazy for a while until he had to go back to work. It was Thursday and Chan had a rare off day then (McDonald’s schedules were a mess and you never knew what you’d land) so when Donghun snuck into his room at the Uni dorms he lived in he was still sleeping. He took off his shoes, his jacket and his pants and didn’t expect to get invited to sneak in bed with him and cuddle the warm boy in his arms.

“Ah…” Chan groaned a little, holding on to Donghun’s arms, since he’d decided to spoon him from behind “how d’you get here, hyung? You’re co-o-o-ld.” He complained.

“You gave me the key, remember?” Donghun muttered with a chuckle, kissing the nape of his neck and feeling him shift at the touch “I said I was coming over to give you kisses.”

Chan spun around, and his pouty sleepy face made Donghun want to squish him. He just kissed his forehead and the tip of his nose though, then he held him closer.

“My baby.” He said feeling a lot better just by getting the chance of being with him for a while to recover some of his sanity before going to work in a couple hours.

“Will you nap or you wanna talk, hyung?” Chan chuckled hoarsely, yawning and trembling a little before snuggling further onto Donghun. He was warm like a baby and also smelled like one for some reason. Maybe it was his shampoo.

“Talk about what?”

“Your chaotic gay behaviour.”

“You’re my baby.” Donghun chuckled.

“Not with me” Chan muttered with a snort “yesterday with Park Junhee and… and all that mess I had to clean up.”

Donghun groaned and held him tighter.

“Ah, that… it’s fine now, isn’t it? You solved the problem like a pro.”

“You still have a crush on Junhee.”

“I don’t.” Donghun complained “I was just having a messy gay moment. It can’t be a crush if I don’t know him. I just saw videos of him.”

Chan hummed with his eyes closed and snuggled further.

“Fair enough. Can we nap now?”

“Have you eaten?”

“No, but I’ll eat when you leave… I ate breakfast.” He mumbled “When Kwannie hyung called I got up…”

Donghun took that and petted his hair gently, something he knew would help him fall asleep quicker.

“Alright, then let’s nap.” He whispered kissing his temple and hearing him hum a little before his breath evened out and he fell asleep again.

* * *

 

 

It wasn’t raining but it was cold and Donghun wanted anything in life but to leave that bed and stop cuddling Chan to go to work. He didn’t deserve that kind of abuse. He deserved to get his cuddle fix from his sweetest baby and not go to work and flip burgers with a bunch of other soulless kitchen workers.

Well, he still had to go though, because the bills wouldn’t pay themselves. So, after kissing Chan’s head one last time and leaving him eating in his dorms’ kitchen he left for work. He dreaded the walk over to the bus stop and the ride over to work and the climb up the stairs to the changing room and then pressing his damn number to clock in.

“Ah, Lee Donghun-ssi!” He heard the unmistakable voice of one of their loudest managers “We need you on till today.”

“I beg your pardon, m’am?” Donghun stared as he was about to put on the apron after putting on the hairnet.

“Sohn Sunghyun isn’t in today. He just called in sick and we have no one else to put there.” She said and Donghun raised an eyebrow. There were literally tons of people there who could do it.

“I thought I didn’t have the right expression to be on till, m’am.” Donghun parroted what their other manager, the blunt rude one, had said to him about a year before. That they didn’t want a sad-looking person on till.

“Well, you have the _right face_ ” she said and huffed before lowering her voice “unlike everyone else around here, so off you go. You can work with it, can’t you?”

“Yeah, I can.” Donghun said hanging the apron again and sighing a little “What do you mean by ‘the right face’, if I’m allowed to ask?”

“It means you’re handsome and have a great nose.” She said as they walked from the kitchen area to the front “Come get the money.”

He snorted mirthlessly. What the hell, really. _Handsome and have a great nose._ He really should have stayed in bed with Chan.

* * *

 

Well, he didn’t mind the till, if he was being honest. It was customer service and therefore mentally exhausting, but it was a nice change from the kitchen. He didn’t particularly feel like being on the fries that day, and that’s where they initially sent him.

 

In all fairness, till was a good place to be and time passed quicker there. Chan, the bubbly smiling kid, was usually on till because he was exactly the kind of happy image McDonald’s tried to sell unlike Donghun, the misunderstood, unlucky bastard. He tried to smile sometimes but he just couldn’t smile properly when he didn’t feel like it and he got a couple ‘Are you feeling alright?’ questions from older people to which he beamed as brightly as he could and replied that _yes, indeed he was, that was just something his face did_.

God, he just wanted to go home and sleep for a week.

* * *

 

It was half past nine in the evening when he heard something crash against the glass door of the restaurant. It wasn’t the first-time people threw themselves onto the glass door, so he really didn’t make much of it but then he looked closer and realised that it was someone wearing sunglasses, _at night_ , and holding an extendable stick.

 _Shit,_ that was a blind person.

Where was the dining area girl? She should be looking out of people with disabilities to look after them.

The person looked lost and kind of wobbly also shivering like mad. It was a man, about his height and build, and he was wearing hospital slippers on his feet along with grey adidas sweat pants and a loose blue button-down shirt that didn’t seem warm at all and that Donghun recognised with a shocked pang.

 

_That was Park Junhee._

 

He felt the blood drain from his face staring at the lost, clearly blind Park Junhee trying to navigate through the restaurant as other people stepped aside and pushed him along to the till as if he had some sort of catching diseased as he hit them lightly with the stick and apologised repeatedly. He stopped right in front of Donghun who was speechless as he saw him try fold the stick back for whatever reason and fail before giving up. He was trembling from head to toe.

“Is there, is there someone here?” Junhee asked sheepishly, his teeth clattering a little but nevertheless he was smiling. That smile that Donghun knew all too well. _Shit_. It was even prettier in the flesh but _why the fuck was he blind_!? Was that another one of his awareness videos? It didn’t seem to be considering the hospital slippers and the horrible state he was in.

“Yes, there is, I’m, I’m sorry.” Donghun said hopelessly not sure what he should do. He’d imagined meeting this guy, sure, but not there and not like that. _At all_ “What would you like?”

“Um… a happy meal, I think…” Junhee said chuckling pulling out some money from his pocket “that’s all I have.” He said putting the money beside the till Donghun reached over and touched his hand. It felt dead cold.

“Okay. With a cheeseburger or nuggets?”

“Uh, nuggets. I like nuggets.” Junhee said smiling and sounding a bit airy “Um…have we met?”

Donghun’s finger stopped over the button to click happy meal and he looked at him. His heart skipped a beat. He wouldn’t tell him his name. His mind reeled thinking about the remote chance that he’d caught wind of the mess he’d made under his legal name that he used on the internet as well.

“I don’t think so.” He said quickly “Not that I, not that I remember.”

“Oh” Junhee said still smiling, shrugging a little “I thought I recognised your voice.”

Donghun was too busy seeing that he was treated right that he didn’t pay much attention to what he’d just said as he gave him not only the happy meal with the nuggets as he’d ordered but also added a box of 20 McNuggets, all the dips, a Big pack of chips and an extra double cheeseburger along with a big Caramel Latte (he knew he liked that from one of his videos) and accepted his money before summing up.

“The guy literally just asked for a happy meal.” Someone complained behind Junhee and Donghun looked over at them and glared which made them shut up and lower their eyes _. Yeah, that’s right. Feel ashamed for complaining about a blind man’s order._

“Technology, right?” Junhee smiled gently, looking back not really looking at the person behind him “It’s always so slow. I work with computers. They’re always acting up.”

The person behind him felt even more ashamed after the gentle comment and Donghun almost slammed the money drawer onto his hand as he quickly pulled out the change for the happy meal (even though the total of all the things he’d gotten for him was a lot higher than that). He held Junhee’s calloused yet surprisingly smooth hand when he handed him the change.

“Don’t say anything” he muttered and Junhee looked surprised “I added more things to your order so when they give it to you, don’t say it’s the wrong one.” He looked at his order’s number “Your number is 57. Stand close to the collecting area.”

“I… why?”

“Because I wanted to.” Donghun whispered “I’m getting out in half an hour, if you stall for a while as you eat, I can be your eyes and take you wherever you need to go.”

“That’s… that’s v-very kind of you.” Donghun saw his lower lip tremble a little and was taken aback but then he saw the smile bloom on his face again “I’ll do that, I’ll, I’ll try to sit at a table and… and I’ll wait! Thank you for the kindness!”

“Thank me later.” Donghun muttered.

Well, yes, Donghun's random suggestion was strange but Junhee had promptly accepted even though they were technically complete strangers.

(The fact that Donghun had him as his lockscreen was irrelevant, really. Right now, Park Junhee was just a lost guy who needed help that he was willing to offer.

Right now, he just wanted to protect him from all harm.

Maybe as a way of thanking him without really saying thank you.)

Junhee’s order was prepared quickly and the girl at the collecting area led his hands to the paper bag (that was procedure. Always put the orders of people with clear eyesight problems in a take-out bag even though they’re eating in) and the large cup of warm Latte.

“Um, are you eating in, sir?”

“Yes… if that’s alright.” Donghun heard Junhee say.

“It is. I’ll help you find a table.” She said promptly and Donghun saw her run from behind the counter to go lead him to a table. She sat him at a table where Donghun could see him which was terrific. Donghun kept messing up people’s changes on purpose after that so that he wouldn’t be chewed out later because there was a bunch of money missing in the till. Half on purpose, half because he was distracted by Junhee’s presence and his smile even when he was alone, eating nuggets and sniffing dips to check what they were. Donghun almost yelled when he saw him almost smack the latte over, but the warmth clearly prevented him from doing that and he put his hands around the cup.

“We’re closing.” He said to the customer that had just arrived.

“There’s still people sitting around.” The customer complained.

“They’ll be leaving soon. The kitchen is already closed. I’m sorry. “Donghun said and the guy left huffing.

“Uh, I can’t stay overtime to clean up.” Donghun told the manager who gave him a dirty look but Donghun pointed at Junhee who was still sitting quietly as he’d told him to “That man is my friend, his name is Park Junhee. I need to take him home. He’s blind as you, well, _you can see_.”

Her animosity vanished immediately, and she nodded.

“Ah, I understand.” She said “Take him home then, we’ll be fine. He looks like he’s been through a rough time.”

“He has.” Donghun said sighing. He wasn’t lying even though he had no clue what the fuck had happened to Park Junhee to make him turn up there looking like he’d escaped the loony bin, his cheeks and hands looking painfully red and, most shocking of all, _blind._

“Okay, Donghun-ah, go look after your friend. We’ll handle this. See you…” she squinted thinking about his schedule before checking it on the wall “ah, you’re not in tomorrow. Saturday.” She smiled “Goodnight.”

“Thank you, Manager Kim, that’s very kind.” He bowed a little and then he rushed out of there to go change into his day clothes and shove his uniform in the duffel bag he’d brought it in. He freshened up a little in the dingy bathroom, washing his hands and face with the cheap soap they had there to get rid of the smell of fried food.

“Hello.” He said softly when he finally arrived near Park Junhee who had already put all the rubbish in the brown take out bag but had remained sat there. Donghun grabbed the bag for him and tapped the back of his hand “Um, it’ll be easier if you, if you kind of hook your arm on mine.”

Junhee smiled up at him as he let Donghun manhandle him by the arm and pull him to his feet. Then he promptly linked his arm with his and Donghun walked them both out the restaurant without saying another word. He disposed of the rubbish bag in the bin outside.

“So” Donghun started feeling kind of bold, knowing he couldn’t be seen. Yeah, it was kind of shit to feel that way but at least Junhee wouldn’t be able to see his dumb face. He noticed that Junhee was latching to him and still wobbling “what happened to you? I mean” _shit,_ he wasn’t supposed to know he wasn’t blind last time he’d checked “you, you clearly got out of the hospital” he looked at his wrist and was relieved to see that he still had the hospital’s wristband on “you didn’t run, did you?”

Junhee cackled breathily and the sound of his squeaky laughter in real life was a lot better than through the computer. Donghun was living the weirdest dream.

“How could I have run?” Junhee grinned he was still holding the stick and occasionally hitting stuff with it, but Donghun got him. He wouldn’t let him bang against anything “I can’t see anything. I didn’t even have money.” He chuckled “A nurse, well, she kind of took pity on me, I think, and gave me money to get something to eat since they discharged me quickly because I didn’t have anyone to come over and take care of me. I don’t have my phone either.”

Donghun fell silent.

“What happened though? How did you end up like this, oh dear, you’re really freezing. Stop a moment. Don’t move.” Donghun groaned as he unbuttoned his jacket and shrugged it off before throwing it over Junhee’s shoulders. Junhee looked surprised but didn’t complain as he got his arms in the sleeves and shivered in the jacket, hugging himself before Donghun buttoned up the jacket for him.

“Th-thank you so much. It’s so warm…” he said quietly, smiling, his lip was trembling again “won’t you be cold?” He asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I’m fine. I have a sweater on. Come here let’s walk.” He said hooking their arms again. Junhee kept on latching to him despite clearly feeling less cold with Donghun’s jacket on.

“You’re really kind… I’m happy you found me.” Junhee said smiling and leaning his head on Donghun’s shoulder as if he was really his friend. Donghun felt like he was dreaming, really, and Junhee didn’t know how true that was. It had been Yuchan who’d introduced him to his content but Donghun was also happy he’d found this guy. He looked like a hot mess, wearing sunglasses at night and smelling faintly like hospital disinfectant and something nicer, probably his shampoo, but Donghun still felt like he was on a weirdly sensorial and non-idealised dream.

“So am I.” Donghun said quietly before snorting “Even though you’re the one who found me for real.” He said and Junhee chuckled.

“I don’t even know what you look like.”

“Ugly.” Donghun snorted.

“Doubt it.” Junhee grinned.

“Alright. We’re at the taxi stop. Let’s sit here.” Donghun led Junhee to the bench and sat with him still latching onto his arm.

“Can I feel your face?” Junhee asked with a small chuckle “To check if you can really tell what a person looks like by touching their face.”

 

The dream kept getting weirder and weirder.

 

“Sure.”

 

Junhee’s fingers were still cold but they were absurdly gentle for the fingers of someone who constantly broke stuff and didn’t know how to follow instructions.

“Oh, your nose is really nice.” Junhee complimented, smiling and Donghun chuckled “Did you get it done?”

Donghun cackled.

“No, it’s natural. I get that a lot.”

“Oh” Junhee’s cheeks acquired a funny shade of red “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine.” Donghun assured “I get that a lot.” He repeated “I guess you can really tell what people’s face looks like by touching them.” He said as Junhee caressed his features with his fingers and closed his eyes at the gentle touch.

“You’re handsome.” Junhee smiled warmly “I can say that confidently!” He exclaimed and that’s when Donghun was completely sure that he really wasn’t faking anything for views. He really was a clumsy sweetheart.

“So are you.” Donghun said back quietly, looking away, almost inaudible “What exactly happened for you to end up in the hospital though?”

Junhee leant his head on his shoulder again.

“Sorry for using your shoulder as a pillow, my head is aching a lot despite the meds they gave me.” He said and Donghun shook his before remembering that he had to speak up because Junhee couldn’t see him.

“It’s fine.”

“Thank you. Well” Junhee started “I kind of tripped on my rug, uh, earlier this afternoon and hit the back of my head against my coffee table.”

Donghun winced. He’d seen his coffee table in his videos. The top was made of fucking marble and he was about to expose himself as a fan but Junhee kept going and saved him from that.

“The top is made of marble, you see…” he explained and Donghun nodded. He clearly felt the nod because he continued “yes, so I blacked out for a moment and when I came to, I couldn’t see… I had my phone in my pocket and called for help and they came over but, but my phone and wallet were left in the house. They didn’t even get my shoes.” He sighed and paused before wincing a little “Ow… they said there was nothing permanently wrong with my head, but I’d be blind for up to 72 hours… and should avoid strong lights on my eyes.” He lifted his sunglasses and showed Donghun that they’d taped his eyes shut with white tape. Donghun clicked his tongue and shook his head “Yeah, it’s pretty inconvenient…damn, I think I left the camera recording.”

Donghun opened his mouth and closed it trying to avoid a burst of anger. He’d almost gotten himself killed because of a damn video!

“The camera?” Donghun played it cool, acting like he didn’t know.

“Yeah, well…” Junhee sighed “I make videos for youtube… it’s kind of my job even though it doesn’t really feel like it because I like it…”

Donghun had to fight back the urge to call him a damn masochist.

“Oh, that’s cool.” He said coolly despite the anger, playing dumb “What kind of videos do you make?”

“Ah, I do like… well, they’re not very good tutorials but I try to make stuff to make your house prettier… it’s kind of strange, I know. People like my attitude” he smiled “and I guess that’s what I’m going for… I just want to help people be happier even if I’m not good at it.”

“You’re good at it.” Donghun complained. He’d been right, this guy really was willing to clown himself for the sake of making someone smile.

“How do you kn—”

“There’s a taxi.” Donghun reached his arm to wave at the taxi driver who beckoned them over and pulled Junhee to his feet.

“I don’t have money for that.”

“I’m paying, obviously, dummy.” Donghun snapped opening the door “Careful with your head. Good evening, sir” he said putting his palm on top of Junhee’s head and pushing him into the taxi “Uh, two stops.” Donghun said and the driver marked that “Your address.” He asked Junhee who promptly said it before Donghun nodded and said his own. They weren’t too far away but still relatively far “I’ll be paying everything at the end of the trip.”

“I can’t thank you enough.” Junhee said softly, sniffling “You came straight from heaven.”

“I actually came from McDonald’s.” Donghun muttered with a snort “Are you sure your head is alright?”

“Yeah, no concussion. It was just temporary damage to the optical nerves…” He sighed “The doctors said I was very lucky.”

The rest of the trip was silent. Junhee was still leaning onto Donghun as if he’d known him all his life and Donghun didn’t mind skinship at all so he didn’t complain and threw an arm around his shoulders. Junhee seemed to like that and snuggled further onto him. Then they reached Junhee’s building. It was a lot fancier than the one Donghun lived in.

“Uh, sir, could you please wait here while I take my friend to his flat?” Donghun asked awkwardly and the cabbie nodded.

“Sure, son. Go ahead.” He stopped the metre.

Junhee didn’t complain as Donghun led him to the door and asked him for the code to get in and pressed it for him. Then he led him to the lift and in silence still they went up to the 5th floor where he lived and walked over to his door. It also had a number and not a key. Thankfully, honestly.

Junhee told him the number like it was nothing and he pressed it for him before leading him into the flat. He knew the living room well and the kitchen too. It was full of his messy diy decorations and the lights were all on. The camera had run out of battery at some point because it was off.

“Where’s your room? I’ll take you there. I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“Ah” Junhee chuckled before smiling “uh… you see this is a duplex… my room is upstairs… second door to the left.”

Donghun took him there and when he was safely sat in bed, he asked him where his phone was and went to get it for him from the living room.

“I can’t thank you enough, McDonald’s angel.” Junhee smiled his warmest smile and took off the sunglasses and sighed as his hands touched the tape “I wish I could see you.”

“Next time.” Donghun said not sure if there would be one.

“Can you press your number on my phone?” Junhee asked sheepishly _“Please?”_

Donghun hesitated before deciding to do that. He didn’t put his name though. He wasn’t supposed to know Junhee’s name and Junhee hadn’t asked his, so he hadn’t told him for reasons that made perfect sense to him. That had been the weirdest interaction two Koreans in Korea had probably ever had but it was what it was.

Donghun saved his real number but called himself ‘McDonald’s Guy With the Good Nose’.

It was a good one. He’d remember him when he could finally see again and looked up the number, if he wanted to talk to him again. Then he called his own number and saved Junhee’s number. Well, it was fair, wasn’t it?

“Uh, text me when you’re better, I guess.” Donghun said and Junhee nodded “I’m going now.”

“Thank you f-for everything…” he stuttered and pulled off the tape they’d put on his eyes “is there a lot of light?”

“Only the hallway lights.” Donghun said, stalling a bit, and he saw Junhee open his pretty, yet definitely blind eyes, looking everywhere but to where he was.

“Pitch black.” He sniffled and Donghun recognised the gulp and what was coming. He hadn’t expected it at all.

“You’ll, you’ll be alright.” Donghun said sitting beside him and putting an arm around him as he watched him close his eyes again and burst into tears.

“I’m, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Junhee sobbed and clutched onto him “I’m so sorry!”

“No, it’s fine. I, I understand you’re, you’re scared, right?” Donghun’s eyes were filling with tears as well. He wanted everything but to see Junhee cry, completely vulnerable. Junhee nodded and his crying became convulsive sobs and Donghun started crying too as he held him tighter.

“Do you, is there someone you can call to stay with you?”

Junhee shook his head and Donghun felt his heart shatter.

“My best friends aren’t, they’re not nearby and can’t come I’m… I’m scared of all this, all this darkness.”

Donghun wanted to stay with him but that was definitely too much.

“Okay, my number, I’ll… it’s the last dialled number and I’m… okay, that’s fucking useless” he was trying hard to be coherent as he cried like an idiot, rubbing Park Junhee’s back to try to calm him down “you won’t be able to find it, so I’ll call you, alright? I’ll call you.” He repeated and Junhee sniffled looking in his face’s general direction and reaching a hand over, probably trying to touch his face and Donghun held his hand and he gripped it back "It's fine." Donghun wiped his tears from his reddened face with his thumb “I promise I’ll call you. I can call you, I can call you right now and keep you company until you fall asleep. I have the day off tomorrow too, connect your phone to the charger” his mind was reeling with ideas to keep Park Junhee company and bring back his smile “and I’ll come over, if, if that’s alright.”

“You’d do that?” Junhee sobbed weakly "I'm sorry, I'm sorry you're crying too... I'm sorry..."

Donghun rubbed his own eyes with his sleeve and ignored what he'd said. It didn't matter that he was crying. Junhee was the only one that mattered at that moment.

“I would.” Donghun said “ _I will_.” He said getting rid of the hypothetical tense “I’ll bring you food too. Now get off those slippers and the jacket and go to sleep. Come on.” Donghun said getting up from the bed and getting the jacket off Junhee before putting it on the back of his chair even though it was his own jacket. He pulled his bed covers back and made him lie down before covering him, connecting his phone to the charger and getting his own phone to call him.

“Hello?” Donghun said with a small smile, wiping his own tears as Junhee picked up the call with shaking fingers and chuckled.

“Hi!” Junhee greeted “Is this the kindest stranger I’ve, I’ve ever met?”

“No, it’s the McDonald’s Minion you got from the happy meal.” Donghun chuckled putting the yellow disgrace on his nightstand as he chuckled, wiping his tears with his sleeve.

“I like minions, I didn’t, I didn’t realise it was one!”

“It is one. Keep talking. I’m getting out now, but I’ll be on the phone until you fall asleep.”

“Thank you…”

“Yeah, keep talking. Talk about things you like, whatever you want” Donghun said as he walked out the door and closed it before turning off the lights on his way out “I’m listening.”

Then Donghun left Junhee’s flat before going back to the taxi and Junhee kept talking and Donghun kept his promise.

“It’s tough being blind, isn’t it?” The cabbie asked and Donghun sighed and nodded pointing at the phone, indicating that he was on the phone with _his friend_ “Oh, I’m sorry.”

Then he was driven home, listening to Junhee’s ramblings, incoherent at first but then happier as he kept going and Donghun responded and laughed too. He found out that they had quite a bit in common. Junhee was also very passionate about music and they seemed to share a lot favourite artists and songs. Donghun paid the fare at the end of the trip and went straight to bed legitimately not believing what was still happening to him. He wanted to tell Chan about it, but he didn’t believe it, so he would wait until the following day to tell him everything. Then he wouldn’t believe him and, really, he wouldn’t blame him.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m feeling sleepy now” Junhee said sounding sleepy indeed “I usually put some songs playing to fall asleep…”

“Oh” Donghun said already lying in bed “what kind of songs?”

Junhee chuckled sleepily.

“It’s actually this singer from youtube… his voice is amazingly beautiful and, and it relaxes me a lot…”

“Tell me his name” Donghun said already grabbing his laptop to pull up whatever he wanted “I’ll blast the songs for you.”

 

“Lee Donghun.” Junhee said and Donghun wasn’t fucking paying attention and he was tired, so he didn’t realise that he wasn’t calling him because he had purposely not told him his name or asked for his.

 

“Yes?”

 

“That’s his name.”

 

Donghun froze as he was about to type the name on the search bar.

 

“What’s his name again?”

 

“Lee Donghun.” Junhee repeated and Donghun felt the blood drain from his face again. There was just no way.

 

Donghun couldn’t fucking believe what was happening to him. Park Junhee liked his voice and his covers.

 

If that was a dream, then it was a conscious one and he was going to do whatever he wanted.

 

“What’s your favourite?”

 

“Yah… I like all of them…” Junhee said giddily “I really love his voice.”

“Okay” Donghun tried again, his heart racing “you said you liked Exo’s _Sing for You_ , didn’t you?”

“I do.” Junhee said “But he doesn’t have that one...”

“Yes, he does.” Donghun said typing out the name of the song and Karaoke in front of it “It’s a new cover. It’s, I guess you’re in luck after all.”

“Are you serious?” Junhee said sounding genuinely happy “Please, please can you play it for me!?”

“Sure.” Donghun sat up and got his phone away from his mouth to clear his throat and take a deep breath. He knew this song too. All too well, he’d just never gotten around to actually cover it. Now it had a whole different meaning and he hoped he could pull it in one clean try.

He played the instrumental and somehow, somehow, he managed to follow the lyrics flawlessly without breaking a single time.

 

* * *

 

He could still hear Junhee’s breathing when he finished.

“That was…” Junhee muttered “the phone makes the sound weird… that was as if he was really singing for me… I, I can’t wait to listen to it again… when my eyesight is back or something.” He said, “Do you want to go to sleep now?”

“If you want to.” Donghun said, trying to sound cool but feeling like he was actually on cloud nine.

“I do.”

“I’ll call you in the morning.” Donghun promised “I’ll take food.”

“Okay. Thank you again for, for everything…” Junhee said and he could hear the smile in his voice “I feel like I’m in a dream.”

 _Same_ , Donghun thought, but didn’t say.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Then Donghun hung up and stood up quickly before going over to his closet to get his recording equipment. He was going to make that night cover and post it immediately while the feelings were still on full steam.

It was the rawest cover he’d ever made. He recorded it in a single go, the editing was minimal, and he posted it right away without caring to look at the feedback.

That was a song for Junhee.

He didn’t care about perfection.

_He was singing for Junhee._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [If you don't know Sing for You, you should go give it a listen.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zr5Wur5GLc)


	4. Park Junhee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jun thinks about his life in the morning after the accident, where he's come from, what he's doing, if he's strayed from his goals. Maybe he hasn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, choice,
> 
> uh, so i decided to write a bit about Jun's backstory in this AU because I thought it was kind of needed and i wrote they were all musical somewhere in the notes or the tags so yeah. this is the backstory chapter because i thought that having the whole story from Donghun's pov wouldn't give this the flesh i want to give it. there are a couple original characters that are relevant but not uhhh how to say this. they're important but this is a closed storyline. it's a little angsty but you'll find that it's not too angsty in hindsight. like i said, i don't drag the angst. ah, again, sorry about the typos. i gotta post this now tho /big sigh
> 
> jun is thinking about stuff and he wants to believe that The Stranger will come back but he also doesn't believe he will. well, i don't need to say what will really happen. 
> 
> this'll be a double update AGAIN because this hoe can't write small chapters for the life of me. more messy notes in the next chapter and then i'll say bye. i hope u like this hskjh

* * *

 

Jun had picked up a guitar for the first time when he was 8 at a friend’s house. It belonged to his friend’s mum, he remembered well. It was old and had been stuffed away in the attic for many years and they’d been up there, naturally up to no good, exploring the hidden dusty treasures in that allergy triggering lair. Min Kwang, Jun’s childhood buddy didn’t seem too interested in his mum’s old guitar, but he knew it was hers because he’d seen old pictures of his mum’s university days and she used to play it. That’s what she’d told him anyway, he’d said he’d never listened to her play it in his life, so he didn’t even know if it was true. The guitar was clearly old and very used, so someone must have used it, Jun had thought before he asked for permission to try it. His friend just shrugged and told him to go ahead.

Naturally the sound that came out was nothing but a loud strum of strings that echoed dully in the dusty attic, but Jun’s heart skipped a beat as he looked at the old worn instrument. His friend remained unbothered as Jun kept meekly plucking at the strings without knowing what he was doing. He’d seen people do it, so he knew you had to hold the arm and press the strings for different sounds. Also slide them up and down. Yeah, they did that. And they plucked at the strings as they did so.

When Kwang’s mum turned up in the attic looking blankly at them Jun was terrified and almost dropped the guitar. He didn’t though. Instead, he clutched it in his arms and prevented it from falling.

“Who was playing?” She asked before her eyes dropped on the frightened little boy holding her guitar like it was his own life “Ah, Junhee ya, was it you?” She smiled warmly (when Junhee recalled that moment later in life, for its importance, he remembered the kindness in her eyes but also the disappointment. The disappointment that it wasn’t her own son) “Don’t be scared, you didn’t do anything wrong, dear.” She said and Junhee watched his friend come over to his side and thanked him for it “I thought it was Kwang ah, but he’s not very musical, is he? He doesn’t like doing anything in particular.”

Kwang had shrugged. He was a kid without many interests aside from getting in trouble, she said that all the time. Kwang didn’t care about that either. His mum was always working, and his father had left them for another woman when he was 4 so he barely remembered him. All he knew is that he didn’t like him because he’d made his mum sad. He’d told Junhee that too.

“Kwang ah can write really nice stories.” Junhee had defended quietly, looking at his friend who pouted a little. The stories weren’t exactly something he shared with everyone.

“Oh, he can?” He mum had asked looking positively surprised (recalling it later, Junhee could remember her features and the hurt in her eyes. She didn’t know her own son’s interests. What he did when he was alone for long hours after school, often with Junhee’s company, who was his neighbour and insisted in sticking around even though his own parents didn’t like it too much. His first act of defiance.) “Mum wants to read them sometime!”

“Sometime.” Kwang had said quietly lowering his eyes, his cheeks getting red “Can you really play the guitar, mum?”

She’d been quiet a moment as both boys looked up at her. She’d just gotten home from work and she was visibly tired, but she smiled and sat down on the dusty floor. Kwang had clearly never seen her do that so carelessly because his eyes were fixed on her as he followed her example and Junhee finally let go of the guitar and passed it over to her.

Junhee was transfixed and even Kwang was shocked. She sang ‘When the Cold Wind Blows’ by a singer called Kim Jiyeon. Not only could she play that dusty old guitar wonderfully, she could also sing like an angel (Junhee would find out later, through gossip in his own home, that she hadn’t pursued a musical career because she’d gotten pregnant).

“I want to learn how to play and sing like aunty!” Junhee had said after she’d finished singing the song. She was tearing up and so was the tiny smiling boy she’d just inspired to learn how to play the guitar “I really do!”

“You can keep my guitar, to practice.” She said with a gentle smile, wiping her tears with her sleeve “You can return it when you can play it well! I wish that you always play with that smile!” She said “If you smile” she continued “the whole world will smile with you!” Junhee looked up at her smiling yet teary face and smiled back before nodding.

“I will do that! I promise! When I’m good enough, I’ll play for you, aunty!” Junhee promised, grinning from ear to ear as she passed him the guitar and he clutched it again, feeling like he’d been given the most precious treasure in the world. Junhee remembered Kwang getting up in silence and going over to his mum and giving her a big hug that she returned tightly without saying a word aside from ‘I love you, my baby’.

* * *

 

Then Junhee had pestered his parents to let him get guitar lessons until they relented. He could be really persuasive for such a good child.

He was good at it. No, scratch that, he was _excellent_ at it.

Then he started saving up to get his own guitar. He kept getting his guitar lessons and the music school he attended also offered piano lessons and his guitar tutor told him that he should try it to. Full of passion for music and willing to try new sounds, Junhee, then 9 years old, had started taking piano lessons too and, again, he excelled in it much faster than his peers. His piano tutor then suggested that he tried singing too, so he did that too and once again, his musical talent seemed to be bottomless. Since he kept getting good grades at school, his parents didn’t take music away from him even though they didn’t approve of how much time he invested in it, fearing that his stubbornness would make him rebellious. He only started taking dance lessons as well when he was 14 and in middle school. He took part in several showcases because his tutors appointed him to them. In his home, however, only his sisters enjoyed him being musical and he loved to play for them. They smiled the brightest when he did.

His body seemed to be made of music because it responded to music without him even being aware of it.

When he went to high school things started getting weirder at home because his parents started getting more stubborn about his pursuing music, which was clearly a hobby and wouldn’t take him anywhere in life because he was a boy from the countryside and the music industry was ruthless, so he should start thinking about getting _real_ life plans and forget about music. Junhee was a teen by then and hearing that stuff didn’t sit well with his pent-up energy. He didn’t go against their words and didn’t talk back but he didn’t give up on music. He’d watched Rain’s _Rainism_ and that had settled it for him. He wasn’t a bad boy, but he had to be one.

That was the beginning of his quiet rebellion.

He had his own guitar by then and he had it locked up in his closet, fearing that they’d take it away from him and he also had Kwang’s mum’s guitar in there as well. Junhee still remembered the promise he’d made so many years before. Kwang and his mum had moved out of Suncheon to a nearby city a couple years back so Junhee hadn’t gotten his chance to fulfil the promise yet.

 

* * *

 

 

Then the time came for him to choose a career after he finished high school and he’d chosen to enlist in the military before even thinking about University. The quiet rebellion was still rolling strong. His parents couldn’t oppose that, and he knew that. All _men_ had to serve their country. He was fulfilling his duties as a man while stalling his life for two years.

There was music in the military as well and Junhee didn’t miss the chance to hone his skills whenever he got it. He got asked many times if he was planning on becoming an idol and he always shrugged. Who knew? He just liked music, he loved entertaining and loved to make people happy with his music. That was the one thing he was passionate about and would do anything for. So, when he was discharged from the military, he told his family he was moving to Seoul to pursue music. They’d naturally opposed strongly but he’d respectfully insisted that that was what he wanted to do and that one day he’d make it even if it took 10, 20 years.

Even if it killed him.

 

That’s when he grabbed his two guitars, packed up and off he went to begin a very dark path. It could lead to stardom, it could lead to a dead-end. If it led to a dead-end, he’d pickaxe it open, if needed. He’d do all he could to get there in some way.

 

He had a promise to keep first though, so he found a way of tracking down Kwang and his mum but found only his mum. Kwang was off to University, pursuing his dream of becoming an author and his mum could barely recognise Junhee when she saw him at the door. That of course, until he smiled and said who he was.

“Ah, Junhee ya!” She was overjoyed to have him “You’ve grown so tall, I barely recognised you! Your smile remains the same though!”

Then she invited him in and asked him about his family and all the commonplace small talk questions before saying that she wasn’t working anymore because she suffered from arthritis and was now only tutoring kids with the guitar, even though the pain prevented her from playing a lot.

“I see that you have guitars with you” she said, smiling warmly pushing the tea she’d made for them in his direction. He thanked her and smiled “why is that?”

“I’m moving to Seoul” he said quietly “I’m going to try becoming a musician.”

“That’s wonderful!” She said and Junhee felt a big smile bloom on his face. She was someone he’d always looked up to. His original inspiration had been her soft song and her guitar skills, and he knew it by heart. Junhee sipped a little on his tea before he grabbed the bag with her guitar and unzipped it before pulling it out. He’d changed the strings and taken care of it, so it was still perfectly usable. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand when she saw it.

“Is that…”

“I promised.”

“What?”

“I promised I’d come play for you when I could do it.” Junhee said beaming at her and she looked at him clearly remembering it but still in disbelief “When the Cold Wind Blows by Kim Jiyeon” he said, and he started strumming, now at an expert level and broke into song. His heart was in his fingers and his vocal chords and the chords of the song and the feelings of gratitude he felt towards that woman who’d lent him her guitar and made him promise to come back and sing for her with a smile.

“Ah…” her face was shimmering as was his when he finished singing “you really remembered th-that, that was an important day, wasn’t it? You’ve- you’ve become such a talented musician, Junhee ya. I’m really proud. Of both you and Kwangie… ah, the tea will get salty like this! What should I do!?” She chuckled and Junhee wiped his own eyes on his sleeve, grinning from ear to ear “I know you’ll make it big, no matter what happens… all that matters is following your heart. If you don’t get there, at least” she gulped and chuckled “at least you’ll know you’ve tried, right?”

“Yes, m’am.” Junhee said “And this is yours. Thank you for lending it to me.” He said as he got up and bowed profusely “Could you please draw something on my guitar for good luck?” He asked with a smile.

She got up as well and nodded.

“That’ll be a great, great honour, dear.”

She drew a heart and wrote ‘Luck’ in Hanja before she hugged Junhee like she was holding her own son and kissed his forehead.

“I know you’ll make good, Junhee ya. As I know my Kwangie will make good as well.” She said smiling through her shining eyes “I’ll be praying for you both equally.” She said, and he smiled back “Never lose that smile.”

* * *

 

 

Well, naturally becoming a musician wasn’t easy and Junhee hadn’t gotten all that lucky, especially since he didn’t have money. He didn’t get scouted by any companies and not having money he’d had to start working. He hadn’t put music aside though. He saved up enough for a keyboard and bought one. It didn’t feel like he’d failed, even though he wasn’t pursuing a musical career at that moment in life. In a way, yes, he had failed because he’d put it on stand-by, but he realised that what he loved the most about making music was what Min Kwang’s mum had given him that day: the happiness and all the emotions he could make people feel.

Going from wanting music to becoming a weird Youtuber was a strange twist, but it was what it was.

He’d gotten the DIY/Lifestyle idea from a video he stumbled upon called ‘Cute Crafts to Cheer Up Your Home’. He’d tried them and realised right away that he was absolutely horrible at that kind of stuff, but he had fun doing them and he remembered the words ‘never lose that smile’ so he just said ‘well, what the hell’ and began doing his own videos where he tried to make the crafts. _Tried_ really was the keyword. Even though he wasn’t pursuing music or doing anything music-related professionally, he was still having fun. And Ms Min had been right.

If you smile even when in pain, people tend to smile with you.

He legitimately tried to do good crafts, but he just couldn’t get it right and it was always a lot of fun to him, even when he got hurt and made a damn mess. It turned out that his friend Byeongkwan, whom he’d met while trying to audition but like him had eventually not gotten the chance to because there were always too many people, had been wrong about the crafts nonsense being a bad idea because, thanks to it, he’d gotten a lot of attention on youtube and even though ad-sense wasn’t exactly paying well, his sponsors were. He got sponsored by a hot glue brand and a tools brand and finally IKEA had gotten in touch and refurbished his flat (which he could afford with the money from his other sponsors). He knew it was because he proved that their material was good quality by constantly hurting himself with it, but it paid the bills big-time, so he wasn’t complaining. Such was capitalism.

Well, yes, he tried his best not to fuck up, but he didn’t know what happened. Stupid shit just kept happening non-stop and he had no explanation for it. He was good with small crafts like Origami but that was about it. Maybe his hands weren’t tailored for convoluted crafts and DIY. Maybe his head was in the soundproofed room upstairs with his guitar, his recording equipment and his keyboard.

 

“I don’t know why you don’t post some covers sometimes” Byeongkwan had said before he and Sehyoon, whom they’d met in their musical endeavours as well and had eventually become Beyeongkwan’s sweetheart, enlisted “it wouldn’t hurt. Make a second channel, if you want to keep the consistency in the Lifestyle one, hyung.”

“Maybe sometime I will.” Junhee said smiling lightly.

 

But he never did.

 

It didn’t feel like a real attempt, youtube, and even though he admired a bunch of youtube singers, he didn’t know if he would dare become one himself. Not alone anyway.

So, he kept on with his DIYs/Lifestyle videos. Recently, he’d decided to slowly address matters that he thought should be addressed, things he could speak up about without being disrespectful. He’d done it right, it seemed because that was currently his most popular video (right after the one where he set fire to the cloud lamp). Junhee was a dancer too and he had good balance, so learning how to walk in high-heels had been a piece of cake to him. He’d even dared a dance cover in them before filming the actual video. HyunA’s _Red_ because he’d felt like challenging himself. He learnt the choreography with regular trainers before putting on the heels and doing it again. And of course  he’d nailed it. Maybe he’d show it to Byeongkwan and Sehyoon when he got the chance, if he remembered where he’d stored the footage. He’d cut it off in the editing and saved it somewhere.

 

Byeongkwan and Sehyoon had posted several covers in their common channel before enlisting with the promise that they’d do more when they returned. Junhee liked their covers and he also enjoyed the covers of a boy, Kang Channie, whom they’d befriended after he’d come yelling to their twitter about how amazing they were and apologising for thinking they made a great couple and not just in a musical sense. Byeongkwan had been the one to talk to him and had confirmed, under the _extreme promise_ that he wouldn’t spread that they were actually a couple and had been dating for two years. The boy had kept his promise because no news of that had come of that even though Byeongkwan had been wild enough to share a kissing picture of them.

 

 _Now,_ Junhee loved them all as musicians, but his _ultimate_ favourite wasn’t in that circle. Or so he’d thought until he’d seen Kang Channie and Lee Donghun’s collaboration in the cover of Counting Stars.

There was no reason he could pinpoint with certainty, but Lee Donghun was definitely his favourite. When he realised that they had a thin connection he’d been over the moon, but he hadn’t told anyone except Byeongkwan.

That had been kind of an accident, really. He’d just asked if he knew him, if he happened to be in touch with him. Byeongkwan had said that he wasn’t directly but that he knew someone who was and then asked why he was interested and Junhee had been honest,

“I love his content. His voice is relaxing and passionate and, and he’s an amazing dancer.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure, hyung?”

Junhee had sighed and hissed as he smiled at the screen where he was looking at a still of Lee Donghun at the end of his cover of The Truth Untold by BTS.

“Well… I’d really like to meet him, I guess.”

“Hm.” Byeongkwan had hummed and Junhee had chortled.

“Yeah, I know what you’re thinking and you’re right” he said softly “I also think he’s handsome but really… that’s not it. I listen to his voice to relax when I’m in pain or, I don’t know, after a particularly tough day.”

Byeongkwan chortled.

“I bet you put his acoustic version of Blood, Sweat and Tears on loop when you cut your hands like an idiot with that glass, hyung.”

Junhee chuckled, looking at the faded scars on his palms.

“Not on loop but I did listen to that one in particular.” He heard Byeongkwan laugh on the phone “I also listened to Breathe.” He chuckled softly.

 

But Byeongkwan didn’t know much else about him, about Lee Donghun. He didn’t even know he knew Channie personally until their collab.

And well, all was fine and normal until that fateful night when Byeongkwan had called him at around 9 in the morning saying that his favourite youtube singer had called him ‘Daddy’ on Instagram, laughing like mad. Jun had been shook off his sleep and gotten up right away to go check the veracity of that unbelievable shit but it was true.

 

Not only that but he’d also _followed him back_ on both Instagram and twitter. Jun’s hands were shaking, and he couldn’t believe it for a solid five minutes. It had to be a joke. Then his suspicions were confirmed when Channie confirmed that he and Lee Donghun were actual friends and posted a load of cute pictures of them. He wrote that he’d been messing with Donghun’s phone and thought it’d be funny to call Jun ‘daddy’ out of the blue to see if Donghun made more friends since he was getting tired of him. Donghun had replied with a sad emoji and Channie had said he was joking and wouldn’t get tired of him ‘ _But seriously, befriend him. He’s a solid lad. Single and gentle. Also cuddly_! _uwu_ ’ Jun had laughed because it’d sounded like he was advertising him in a dating website. Donghun had replied accordingly _‘If I need to find a lover, I’ll go on tinder or sth, Kang Yuchan >:(‘_

 

 _‘That’s probably not how people start friendships’_ Channie had also written under the pictures he’d posted ‘ _but it was funny. I’m sure everyone was shocked! kekekeke’_

 

Still, even if it’d been a ‘phone jacking’ event, Lee Donghun was now following him everywhere and that hadn’t changed even after Channie confessed it’d been him to do it. Donghun hadn’t broken the mutual.

 

Junhee wondered if he’d watched any of his videos and chuckled. Donghun looked like the type of person who’d think he was either fake or a whole idiotic klutz, but he didn’t mind it. He understood people who felt that way and didn’t feel bad about it.

 _Okay,_ maybe that was a bit of a lie, he did feel a little sad, but he saw dozens of people come in his defence and prove that he wasn’t fake and that his smiles and positive attitude helped many people pursue their dreams.

That made up for it.

He liked to know that he was inspiring people to pursue their dreams without being afraid.

That’s what he’d come to Seoul to do, hadn’t it?

* * *

 

 

His mind was full of those swirling thoughts when he woke up that day after he met the McDonald’s angel guy who’d helped him when he felt like he’d die alone of hypothermia in an alley somewhere after they’d pretty much kicked him out of the hospital after giving him a cane and a pair of sunglasses. He’d wandered blind, dizzy, freezing and scared out of the hospital with barely enough money for food and tried to remember the surroundings of the hospital after asking which one it was. He knew there was a McDonald’s two streets away, but the problem would be getting there.

His wailing laughter formed a cloud of vapour ahead of him that he couldn’t see as he stopped feeling his hands, feet and cheeks and felt the way down the streets, wobbling and lost. He fell exactly 5 times on his way there and banged twice against traffic signs.

He was still laughing after all that, but he was on the verge of breaking down.

How could he die like that!? Because of a stupid accident while making origami (something he was actually good at!), he’d disappoint everyone who’d believed in him. His sisters, Ms Min, his tutors.

 _Everyone_.

He would die like that.

Park Junhee, at the age of 25, would die of hypothermia in the streets of the freezing city of Seoul.

Then he’d felt the smell of McDonald’s, and, like a lost desperate hound he’d followed it before slamming face first against the glass door.

In his haze, his head aching like nothing he’d ever felt before, when the cashier spoke, he could swear it was Lee Donghun’s voice but then he’d said they’d never met and Junhee had discarded the wishful thinking. Lee Donghun would know who he was even if they’d never met because of the Phone Jacking Event.

However, the guy turned out to be his saviour, and, without asking for anything in return, had fed him well, given him his jacket and taken him home. There was just no way Junhee could turn down the help when he had nothing else to hold on to.

Junhee felt like crying from the moment their hands touched. He’d realised that maybe he would live through the night. He’d held that back though.

 _Smile, always smile_.

When he realised that he’d be left alone in the dark he’d just been unable to hold back his feelings.

His chest ached, and he couldn’t stop apologising. Everything was dark, and he would be alone for as long as the darkness lasted. He wouldn’t be able to call anyone because he didn’t have many friends nearby who could come and help. People had jobs they needed to keep. His family lived far away. _Hell,_ he’d be lucky if he got Android’s Voice recognition thing to find the numbers for him anyway. He’d been lucky the stranger had called him to keep him company and then promised to come over the following day to look after him, if he wanted. _Of course_ he wanted that. He’d have died, hadn’t it been for his kindness. Even if he turned out to be a serial killer or something, what did it matter? He already owed him his life.

(Yes, Junhee could be pretty extreme sometimes but deep down he knew _McDonald’s Minion_ wouldn’t do that. There was just something so familiar about him that he felt like he’d really been set up to meet this guy.

By a very weird string of fate, no doubt, but something had happened for sure.)

* * *

 

 

It was probably morning, early. Junhee couldn’t know. He couldn’t see the time and he didn’t want to get off the bed only to be walking in the dark bumping onto the furniture.

It was temporary sure but… he’d been feeling lonely lately. So awfully lonely. It felt even lonelier in the absolute darkness he’d have to live in for at least three days. It didn’t sound like much but for someone who suddenly had lost his eyesight because of some dumb accident who could have permanently blinded him, time was dragging. Even in bed, curled up under his covers in the clothes he’d worn the previous day, it felt like time dragging, as if he’d been there for an eternity. Each minute felt like an hour and he wanted to keep his eyes shut, pretend he wasn’t seeing because he didn’t want to. He’d tape them back shut so that he wouldn’t open them. He’d do that if he could find tape…

Junhee sat up with his chest heaving and aching along with his head and clutched at his temples. The doctor had prescribed him meds that he hadn’t gotten because he had no money on him the previous night and of course he wouldn’t ask His Nameless Saviour to do that for him. He felt in his sweatpants’ pocket for the prescription and was glad to find it there. Crumpled and messy but there. How he’d get the medication was something he’d have to figure out.

 

Well, yes, as much as he’d like to believe that the Man was coming back, it was tough. He still couldn’t shake off the feeling that he’d been dreaming the whole thing. However, he’d come back home, and he was still blind. There was no way he would have made it back alone, so it hadn’t been a dream. He was also in a lot of very physical pain.

Yep, the song part did feel like he was dreaming. It felt like Lee Donghun was singing in the very room the stranger was playing the music from and that was probably because of the phone’s sound quality. He’d probably put it on loudspeaker or something, so it’d sound like he was singing himself…

Junhee felt his whole body convulsively shake with cold when he moved a bit and felt like he needed a shower but how the hell would he do that?

He had to though. He needed to get some warmth on his freezing body. Or was it burning up? They’d said he could run fevers and said he’d be prescribed an antipyretic because of that. He felt himself freezing and he needed to get up. His heart was racing and he was terrified and his chest was heaving and…

 

And his phone started ringing somewhere beside his pillow where he’d left it the previous night as he fell asleep. He fumbled anxiously for it almost dropping it like a fish you’ve just pulled out of the water and is still flapping about.

 

Left button picks up the call. He pressed it and it stopped ringing as he clutched it and brought it to his hear hoping to have pressed the right button.

 

“Hello?” He said hoarsely.

 

“Hey” he heard the much too familiar voice on the other end of the line “it’s me” pause “McDonald’s Minion.” A snort “Checking on you.”

 

Junhee covered his mouth to hide the sound of his shameful sob.

 

“You, you really called…”

 

He heard a small groan and a huff on the other side.

 

“I said I would, dummy.” He said sounding somewhat annoyed “How are you feeling?”

 

Junhee wanted to say horrible, like shit, like a mess but he just said,

 

“Cold.”

 

“Cold?”

 

“Cold.”

 

“Do you have a fever?” The guy asked, the annoyance being replaced by a hint of concern “Your voice sounds hoarse too… doesn’t surprise me with you walking around at around 0ºC with nothing but a, but a goddamn shirt. Aish” he huffed “is it okay if I come over?”

 

Junhee sniffled quietly.

 

“Do you, do you really want to?”

 

“No.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“You’re on crack, I swear” the guy complained “I wouldn’t have asked, goddammit. I’m coming over.” He paused “Be there in, uh, 30 minutes give or take. Stay put” he said “don’t get out the bed.”

“Okay…” Junhee muttered, hiccupped really “sorry, yes, please… I, yes, I’ll stay in bed… won’t move an inch.” Junhee chuckled softly “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologising, _Jesus_.”

“It’s Park Junhee.” He said meekly, smiling. Now he had his name “Not Jesus.”

There was a pause.

“You’re awful. That was a horrible joke.” Another pause “I’ll be right over. Stay in bed and on the phone so that I know you’re in bed” he said with a clear hint of annoyance in his voice “I’m gonna take a shower and leave you on speaker, keep talking… like last night” he paused again “I’ll bring my laptop over and… and play that Lee Donghun’s covers for you.”

Junhee didn’t press him to tell him his name because he was too overwhelmed at having him again talking to him. He was also listening to Lee Donghun singing.

“But keep talking” he yelled as the water from the shower started streaming onto him on the other end of the line and he could clearly hear Lee Donghun’s songs in the background. Junhee smiled and sniffled wiping his blind eyes and lying back down, rolling himself up in the covers again.

“Why do you even like this nerd?” He heard the guy yelling over the water and Donghun’s singing “His face is stupid and he doesn’t smile.”

“Yah, don’t diss him…” Junhee complained loudly so that he could hear but had a coughing fit and felt his throat rasp “He’s really talented. And his face is fine. I think, I also think he’s good-looking… and he does smile! Just not when he’s alone! He” coughing fit “he was laughing when, ow my throat, when he was with Kang Channie. And, and his laugh was beautiful.”

Only the water and Lee Donghun singing could be heard for a while.

“Alright.” The guy said loudly “I’ll take that.” Another pause “It doesn’t match yours though, jerkpot.”

Junhee chuckled. It was so weird. That unnamed guy’s voice sounded like a louder version of Lee Donghun’s voice and it felt like he was taking the compliment and giving it back.

“Thank you…” he said smiling, his anxiety subsiding “since you’re not telling me your name, I’ll call you…” he thought a bit “ _Star_.”

Silence.

“That’s corny” he groaned at last “but I can roll with it.”

“You’re not telling me your name, so I must improvise.” Junhee chuckled

“Fine” the water stopped running and he heard the sound of him stepping out of it and dry himself up before hearing the rustling of clothes and then the sound of tubes being popped “I’ll just shave and do my, you know, skincare. Won’t take long.”

“it’s fine, don’t worry.” Junhee said chuckling “I can year you shaving, it’s so weird” he also heard Lee Donghun singing in the background “and your voice is so similar to his, it’s eerie.”

There was silence as Star shaved.

“Lots of people have similar voices.”

“Not to Lee Donghun’s, they don’t. You’re an exception! He’s got a, this particular sound to his voice, a, it’s a kind of passionate melancholy but then he has bursts of, ah, how to say it… when he sings happier songs, it’s joyful and then he dances and, and there’s music in his movements…” Junhee replied and had another coughing fit. His eyes were still closed and he was smiling as he vaguely realised that he was describing him way too passionately but also realised that he didn’t care “Ow… his voice is too unique” he heard the sound of the razor against the sink before the shaving sound restarted “I think my senses are, they’re heightened because I can’t see.”

 _Star_ snorted after a long moment of silence as he listened to Junhee raving about Lee Donghun’s uniqueness.

“You’re becoming Daredevil, use your powers well, Junhee ya.”

A pause.

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” Junhee said with a smile in his voice “You’re older than me?”

Another pause the razor was smacked against the sink again, stronger this time before being chucked in a cup, no doubt, and he heard him wince. Rubbing the aftershave.

“I don’t know, am I?”

“I was born on the 2nd of June 1994.” Junhee said with a chuckle “You know you’re older!” He said “You’re hiding things from me!”

 _Star_ ignored his little provocation.

“Well, then I am.” He was rubbing stuff on his face as spoke probably foam cleanser “I was born on the 28th of February 1993.”

“I can call you hyung then.” Junhee said meekly.

“Please and thank you.” He said with a sigh “If you kept calling me Star for three whole days I’d die.”

Junhee chortled.

“Why aren’t you telling me your name though?” He asked, feeling daring.

Another by now unsurprising pause.

“When you’re able to see again, you’ll know why and then, well, I guess I’ll have to move to Russia and change my name to Sergei.” He sighed deeply “I’m all set. Getting out of the house now. I’ll get food on the way… somewhere. You stay in bed and keep talking… sing for me.” He heard him close the laptop “Or not, shit, your throat is messed up. I’ll get you something for that on my way there too.” _The Star Hyung_ was rambling “Ah, and they should have given you prescriptions for meds, right?”

“Yeah, but…”

“I’ll pick them up when I’m there. There’s a pharmacy near your building, isn’t there?”

“Yeah, but…”

“I’ll go there and get the things for you. No buts. I’ll do it and that’s that.”

Junhee’s heart was racing. How could someone be so goddamn thoughtful and so mean at the same time!?

“Okay, thank you… I’m sorry, I’m sorry you’re having all this trouble, hyung…”

“Thank me later.” He grumbled “And now talk, let’s talk about films this time.”

Junhee chuckled and was happy to comply. He could barely remember his stress from a while back.

The dream was still happening, it seemed.

* * *

 


	5. Jun's Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun goes over to Jun's flat as promised and takes care of him. Again, as he'd promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aite, here it is, i said it was a double update, so here we are
> 
> uhhhh, so a couple pics of jun with stubble dropped today and idk what to think bc i wrote That Scene on Wednesday and now I feel like I should pull up the x-files theme song. this is a soft chapter in which Donghun had a couple messy gay moments that he tones down for the sake of Jun's health but jun is a nerd and addresses the awkwardness of the situation himself with terrible jokes and Donghun decides that Jun is a real dork. then he finds out about his musical instruments and doesn't know what to do with that information. yep. idk. i hope u like this mess. im just rolling with the plan i had and fleshing it out as I go. heck. thank u so much for all your nice comments i swear you're the motivation i dont have. 
> 
> next week will be hellish for me so i'll be writing slower but i'll try to keep the regular updates coming. if not on friday, then saturday or sunday for sure. i just hope u like where this is going or where i've brought this and yeah, i'll stop talking now. bye bye. see u soon.

* * *

 

It was 5am when Donghun called Jun.

 

 _No_ , it really was 5 in the morning when Donghun called Junhee that day. He woke up with the sound of something banging in the flat behind his and then someone screaming before complaining. Then the sound of their footsteps stomping away assured Donghun that nobody had died. His neighbour had probably just fallen off the bed or something. It wasn’t the first time she did that. Donghun was close to sticking a note on her door telling her to get fucking protections for her bed like the kids have because she’d end up breaking her goddamn nose or having a heart attack, if that shit kept happening.

Then he couldn’t fall asleep again as his mind wandered back to the previous day and the outlandish stuff that had happened to him.

 

Meeting Jun while working and finding out he’d accidentally messed up his eyesight because of some video and then taking the lost boy home.

 

Donghun grabbed his phone and looked at the last dialled number and sighed.

 

Okay, so it had all really happened.

 

There would be a whole messy cover of _Sing for You_ to prove it on his channel.

Honestly, he wasn’t concerned about eventual negative comments on the technical aspects of the video.

He didn’t give a shit.

Junhee had liked his impromptu cover on the phone and that was what mattered.

 

That’s when he decided that Junhee was probably awake even though it was painfully early and decided to send it all to hell and call him.

Worried.

Seeing Junhee crying and completely hopeless had shaken Donghun to the core. The guy who’d inspired him that it was okay to fail. The guy who’d inspired him to live his best life with his smiles and positivity. The guy who repeated _‘It’ll be better next time for sure!’_ until it kindled a flame of faith in Donghun’s chest and incited him to try music for real soon. Donghun didn’t want to see him cry again. He would do anything to see him smile his joyful, hopeful smile again.

 

* * *

 

So, when he called him and he picked up, Donghun knew it’d been the right decision. He could hear the choked sob. He still didn’t believe he’d call and Donghun was annoyed but he couldn’t tell him why.

(He’d be damned if he’d expose his whipped ass willingly.)

Donghun had made him chuckle again despite the rasp in his voice, indicating the cold he’d caught from walking around in nothing but that damned thin shirt. Then he’d hopped off the bed and kept talking as he grabbed his laptop and walked over to the bathroom to shower and take care of his face. It wasn’t like Junhee would see it, but he could think about touching it again and he wasn’t having him touch his stubble with his gentle little calloused fingers.

Then the damn nerd had started raving about Lee Donghun, _him,_ and complimenting him left and right and talking about the uniqueness of his voice after saying he was good-looking and he’d almost snapped.

(He’d say he was blind but that would be a really awful thing to say at that moment. Gladly he’d kept his mouth shut.)

Junhee seemed renitent in letting Donghun take care of him but Donghun was stubborn and messy so he wouldn’t let him shut him away. Not when he knew he had nobody else to turn to. He wouldn’t leave him alone for 3 days knowing he could get himself killed for real.

* * *

 

Junhee didn’t seem to know many of the films Donghun asked him about because he didn’t watch many romantic films and Donghun almost offered to watch them with him because it was criminal that he hadn’t watched the classic romcoms and the classic tearjerkers. _A true felony_. Well, a kind offer, sure, but useless because… you know, Junhee wouldn’t be able to see shit. Maybe at some point in the future. Hope is a thing that everyone has.

Then he asked about mystery films and Junhee seemed to like those, so they rambled about them before going on to the musicals which Junhee seemed to like a whole lot. He even attempted a raspy rendition of the _Sound of Music_ but gave up, wincing, and Donghun told him not to strain his throat too much. He walked into a convenience store and bought food he could cook for him before walking to the taxi stop and telling the cabbie Junhee’s address before asking him if he knew if the pharmacy near it was open. It was, the man told him after checking some magical app he had and Donghun sighed. At least the odds were still in their favour.

 

He paid his fare and beelined into the pharmacy to get Junhee over the counter cold medicine and antipyretics. Maybe they’d prescribed him that stuff at the hospital but whatever. Donghun had looked up the symptoms of inflamed and damaged nerves and fever was listed. No wonder he was cold. Junhee kept telling him he didn’t have to on the phone but Donghun was ignoring him and proceeded with his shopping before asking him for the code again and walking up to his flat where he again had to ask for the code. Well, of course he wouldn’t remember, he wasn’t a damn stalker and his memory wasn’t that good especially not when he was tired. He left the food in the kitchen and walked up the Junhee’s room where he found the _very good boy_ in bed like he’d been told to and hung up his phone.

“It’s me” Donghun said “I’m here.”

“Star hyung.” Junhee smiled at him with his eyes closed. It was like his winking with both eyes but not funny at that moment “You’re here… agh” he said and had another coughing fit, muffling it against his pillow “sorry… you didn’t have to get all those things…”

“I didn’t” Donghun said “but I did.” He grumbled walking over to him slowly. He’d left his shoes by the door like a polite person would “I’m walking over to you.”

“I can hear you.” Junhee said softly as Donghun sat slowly beside him.

“Can I” Donghun gulped “like, feel your temperature?”

“Yeah… please go ahead.” Junhee said exposing his reddened face and neck with his eyes closed, still. Donghun rubbed his hands together for warmth and felt his own forehead before feeling Junhee’s. He was burning up and shivered at the touch of his hand.

“Shit, you’re burning.” Donghun muttered “Okay, uh” he tried to think about what his mum did when he was ill as a kid. A shower, a lukewarm shower. It wasn’t comfortable – it was awful, really – but it was good to bring the temperature down. Then medicine and after that some soup. Right. Donghun knew how to make soup _“Right_ , you’re taking an almost cold shower first, then, uh, cold medicine and the cough drops I got and, uh, I’ll go get the stuff you got prescribed as you, uh, I don’t know listen to music or whatever” he planned out “ah, I’ll make you something to eat before leaving.” He paused looking at Junhee’s parted lips “How does that sound?” He tried, feeling his stupid heart race. Junhee gulped and pressed his lips.

“That… that’d be… uh, I’ll do as you say, hyung.” He said in his strained hoarse voice.

“Good, that’s good.” Donghun said loudly and regretted it when he saw Junhee’s face contort in pain “Sorry, your head. I’ll speak quietly. Just don’t look like that, for the love of God.”

Silence.

“Like what?”

“Like I’m doing something incredible” Donghun groaned and huffed, messing his own hair with his fingers “when I’m just doing what I’d like to have someone do for me” Donghun complained as he pulled the covers off Junhee and heard him groan and coil “no, no, up you come. I’m getting you off that bed, come on.” He said putting his arms around Junhee’s slim waist and pulling him up. Junhee latched to him like a child and Donghun didn’t know what to do with that.

“It’s cold!” Junhee complained against his shoulder.

“It’s not, idiot, you’re burning up. Come on” he manhandled him to his feet pulling him along “where’s the bathroom?”

“That door… beside the wardrobe.” Junhee mumbled still latching “You’re cold.”

“Good, because you feel like a freshly baked pizza gotten out of the oven without mittens” Donghun complained as he walked Junhee over to the en-suite bathroom “keep your eyes closed, I’m turning on the lights.”

“Okay…”

“Towels.”

“In the cupboard under the sink.” Junhee said quietly standing there, shivering and wobbling.

“Right.” Then Donghun walked over to the shower and turned it on until lukewarm water was running “What stuff do you use?”

“Um…” Junhee clicked his tongue and pressed his temples “The pink bottle is, it’s my shampoo and the, the white one is the conditioner… the big yellow one is the shower gel.”

Donghun grabbed all the bottles that weren’t that and took them away. The shapes were pretty easy to tell apart, so he was sure Junhee would be able to find them.

“I’m not a damn pervert so, uh, I don’t know” Donghun huffed over the sound of the running water “strip down to your underpants and, hell, just take them inside the shower box… I’ll pass you a towel when you’re done.”

“That’s nice… I’m kind of shy…” He chuckled. Donghun almost joked that it didn’t seem like it from his latest video, but he didn’t “I don’t want to show my dick to someone I haven’t even seen yet.”

“For fuck’s sake.” Donghun snorted at the sudden bluntness “You’re a damn weirdo!”

Well, _he had_ seen him. Donghun chuckled as Junhee stripped. He wasn’t in the mood to see him naked anyway, but he’d be damned if he didn’t have a beautiful body. Fit and slim and overall dreamy.

“It’s somewhere…” Junhee started raising his arms but Donghun snapped out of his gay haze and walked over to him to direct him to the shower box “thank you, hyung.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Ah, it’s so cold!” Junhee complained hoarsely as soon as the water started pouring on him.

“It’s not, you’re just burning the fuck up. Don’t touch that knob.” He warned “I’m gonna get you some clothes.”

“What knob?” Junhee’s teeth were clattering loudly but he chuckled at the horrible joke he’d just made.

“The one on the wall. I don’t care what you do with yours, you weirdo. Your jokes are horrible.” Donghun said heatedly, feeling glad that Junhee wouldn’t be able to see his flushed cheeks. How could he make sexual puns as he got rid of his underpants and dropped the soaked piece of clothing outside the shower box?

“There’s, there’s something _weird_ about this whole thing, I’m just addressing it!” Junhee chuckled and coughed. Donghun noticed that indeed the awkward mood seemed to have vanished after he’d made that awful joke “Ah… my head.”

Donghun quickly fumbled with his chest of drawers to get him a fresh sweater, a t-shirt, a pair of sweatpants and underpants. He found some warm socks too, so he brought that along.

“Junhee ya?” He called when he walked back in the bathroom and couldn’t hear him “Park Junhee?” He called louder.

“Ah… hyung” he heard the faint voice “sorry, I think I dozed off…” he chuckled “still standing though!”

“Fucking hell” Donghun huffed “isn’t it done already?”

“I’m lathering up my, my body… uh, my back is turned, so… um, can you please wash my back for me?”

Donghun opened his mouth but no sound came out for a solid three seconds.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.” Junhee said quietly, _shyly_ really “It’s what I hate the most about being single” he chuckled weakly “I don’t have someone to wash my back and I hate doing it myself.”

“Aish, I’m not your boyfriend though, goddammit.” Donghun complained heatedly without thinking about the use of ‘ _boyfriend_ ’ instead of _‘girlfriend’_ , you know, the ‘ _normal’_ thing to say even when it was two men, _yeah_ , because being heterosexual was the norm. Donghun wasn’t thinking _status quo_ though.

“I’m sorry for asking.”

“I’ll do that, dork.” Donghun huffed pulling the door to the shower open and seeing him leaning his forehead against the wall with one hand clutching the sponge and the other clutching the shower gel bottle as he breathed heavily “Yah, do you feel faint?” The sexual tension at seeing his naked backside dissipated when he saw him like that “Talk to me.”

“I do…” Junhee said heaving “My head aches so much and, and I hate this darkness… I, I can’t…”

Donghun kind of panicked but he managed to keep his cool for Junhee’s sake.

“It’s temporary, Junhee ya, you’ll be good in no time, alright?” Donghun said gently “Give me that sponge and that, yes, thank you.” He said as he passed over the sponge and the shower gel. He seemed to have washed the rest of his body fine because he could still see some remnants of lather on his legs and – oh Lord – his small, yet perfect butt.

 

(Tone down the gay, Lee Donghun. This is serious.)

 

 His back was shimmering with water, but he didn’t seem to have washed it because he’d leant against the wall. Donghun squeezed some of the mango smelling shower gel onto the sponge and made some lather with his hands before starting to rub his back gently “You’ll be fine.” Donghun said “You’ll be fine.” He repeated.

“Thank you, hyung…” Junhee sniffled “I don’t know why you’re, why you’re being so kind but… thank you…”

“How’s the back wash?” Donghun changed the subject trying to get him to think about other things. Junhee’s chuckle soothed him.

“It’s amazing. I should get someone to do that for me permanently.” He played a little, chuckling, still holding on to the wall. Donghun snorted and the shower was done. He turned off the water for him.

“Stay right there, I’ll get the towel.”

He did and waited for Junhee to dry himself up a bit before rolling the towel around his waist and let Donghun help him out and pass him the underpants he’d gotten for him. He put the underpants on before dropping the towel and letting Donghun help him get rid of the rest of the water on his skin and hair before accepting the other clothes he’d brought over.

“I don’t like not knowing what I’m putting on…” Junhee sighed deeply and Donghun quickly helped.

“Uh, black Puma sweatpants, white t-shirt, blue sweater that reads ‘Sky’.” He said and Junhee smiled “Oh and, uh, striped pink and red socks. They’re ugly as fuck.” He teased and Junhee chuckled.

“Thank you.” He said as felt about for the toilet, closed the lid and sat on it to put the socks on “I know they’re ugly. They’re warm though.”

“You’ll want to get them off when the meds kick in.” Donghun said “Do you feel a little better after the shower?”

“I guess…” Junhee said hoarsely and he stood up, but he was clearly still feeling faint and hadn’t Donghun been there to break his fall, he’d have dropped “I’m, I’m sorry…” he mumbled and Donghun held him.

“Junhee ya” Donghun said softly “it’s alright, okay? That’s normal with your injury.” He appeased “You need help with your, uh, skincare? Shaving?” Junhee brought a trembling hand to his face and felt his stubble before hesitating and chuckling.

 

“Yeah… I’d like that… I must look haggard as hell…”

 

“Not really, you look cute as usual.” Donghun said without thinking and he saw Junhee’s soft smile.

 

“As usual.”  Junhee said quietly as he sat on the closed toilet again “The way you say that… I’m sorry, it makes it sound like you know me… and, shit, sorry… it’s because of your voice. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s fine.” Donghun said ignoring Junhee’s very solid suspicions as he got the stuff ready to shave his face. He got a warm wet towel too along with the razor, which was definitely better than the stuff he used himself.

 

Donghun had never truly thought about what trust really meant until the moment Junhee sat on the toilet again and looked up, let him lather his face with shaving foam and bring a razor to his neck while being unable to see and not knowing who he was (not for real anyway).

 

“Are you always this trusting?” Donghun asked quietly, as he carefully shaved his face and wiped the excess foam with a face towel. Junhee shrugged lightly.

 

“Probably not.”

 

“Why are you letting someone you don’t know and can’t see shave your face then?” He asked as he kept on meticulously and carefully shaving him. Junhee smiled just a little as Donghun again wiped off the excess foam.

 

“I would have died” he muttered “yesterday, if you hadn’t looked after me.”

 

Then there was silence and it told Donghun what that really meant. It dawned on Donghun that he was most definitely right, he would have died. His damn heart clenched. He swallowed hard and rubbed the excess foam off Junhee’s face with the wet towel.

 

“I’m done here.” He said “Is the aftershave in the cupboard?”

 

“Yes, and the other things too.” Junhee said. Donghun noticed that his aftershave was a lot better than his because it smelled soft and when he rubbed it on Junhee’s skin, he didn’t wince as much as Donghun usually did. Then he spotted his skincare products and applied them for him before dabbing his face off the excess with the wet towel, that he dropped it in the laundry basket “There he is. Looking pristine.” Donghun said with a smile in his voice and Junhee smiled back as he stood up and wobbled again onto Donghun who once again held him “You’ll be alright, Junhee ya.” Donghun repeated, rubbing his back.

 

Junhee nodded and sighed onto his shoulder.

 

“I just… it’s all this darkness” Junhee held onto him and he was clarly fighting back tears “I hate it. I’m so sorry for the people who, the people who can’t see. And the pain is…”

 

Donghun didn’t want the boy crying in his arms again and he’d do whatever he could to prevent that from happening. He swiftly skipped over the subject.

 

“It’s going to be taken care of, come on.” Donghun cut him off and dragged him out of the bathroom holding tightly onto him so that he wouldn’t fall “Now we’ll go down the stairs, alright?”

“Alright” Junhee mumbled and Donghun kept holding him but let him put his hand on the handrail for extra safety “now you sit on that couch like a good boy and I’ll go make you something to eat. In the meanwhile” he grabbed the bag of meds he’d left on the dreadful coffee table “where’s the water?”

“In the cupboard, uh, the one beside the one under the sink.” Junhee said leaning back with his eyes still tightly shut “It’s cold…”

“It’s not cold, your heating is great.” Donghun complained “Fever makes you feel cold, idiot.” He went in the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle for him and brought it over. He popped a fizzy cold tablet into a glass of water and popped a cough drop out of the package “Right, drink this.” He said grabbing Junhee’s hand and making him hold the glass “Cold medicine.”

Junhee sniffed and scrunched his nose.

“It doesn’t taste bad.” Donghun promised. It didn’t. It barely had taste. It just smelled like medicine. Junhee took a deep breath and took a big swig of it. Deciding that it was indeed okay he drank the rest.

“Thank you, hyung…” He said leaning back again but Donghun was determined to make him feel better quickly.

“And a cough drop. There were many flavours, but I went with strawberry. I hope that’s fine.” Donghun sighed as Junhee chuckled and popped the candy-like medicine in his mouth.

“Strawberry’s great, actually.” He said suckling on it “Oh, it numbs the pain” he said with a smile “ah, if it’s not too much, can you please tape my eyes shut?”

“I got you eyepatches, too.” Donghun snorted pulling them out of the bag “Taped eyes look weird and this way you look like a pirate.”

Junhee chortled heartily as Donghun put them on his eyes for him.

“Yarr!” Junhee grinned and Donghun snorted. His jokes were awful, but they could be kind of cute sometimes.

“Okay, Pirate, I’m gonna get you food now, you sit there and, uh” Donghun clicked his tongue “music?”

“My laptop should be somewhere in this room… I reckon I left it on the table near the camera.” Junhee said leaning back as he kept suckling on the cough drop “This tastes so nice! It barely feels like medicine.”

“I know.” Donghun said spotting the device and walking over to it. He almost had a heart attack when he opened the lid and noticed that Junhee’s lockscreen was none other than himself.

It was one of the dorky selcas Yuchan had posted as deflection. One in which he was smiling and not looking at the camera. His dumb heart raced “You really, you really like this guy.”

“Pardon?”

“Lee Donghun.” Donghun said trying to keep his cool as Junhee made a noise of recognition and smiled. Donghun dropped the subject at once. That was completely insane. Junhee also had him as his lockscreen “What’s the password?”

 

“June1994, with a capital J” Junhee said and Donghun typed it and said incorrect.

“Not the right one.”

“It is the right one.” Junhee’s forehead furrowed a little “June1994.” He repeated

“Still wrong.”

“What are you writing?”

“Jun1994.”

“That’s it.”

“Still not working.”

 

Junhee remained silent for a moment, the only sound in the room was his suckling on the candy-like medicine and then he started laughing heartily. Donghun grinned seeming him in such a good mood all of the sudden.

“It’s _June,_ the month. Not _Jun_ , Junhee” he cackled before having a small coughing fit and laughing again “It’s my birth month in English and my year of birth!”

Donghun groaned at the stupid misunderstanding. He got in the computer and the background at least didn’t show him his face. It showed a picture with three smiling people, one of them was Junhee himself and he seemed a lot younger.

“Your family?”

“Yeah…” Junhee smiled “Aren’t my sisters pretty?”

“They are… you all look alike. It’s amazing.” Donghun chuckled as he got the music folder and clicked a random track before putting the player on shuffle and leaving the laptop on the coffee table, connecting it to a power socket “I’ll go make you some food, then I’ll, I’ll go get you your meds.”

“Hyung…” Junhee smiled “you don’t have to.”

“Listen, I’m already here, so I’m gonna make myself useful, idiot.” Donghun complained and stomped to the kitchen before he remembered something “Any allergies?”

“Not that I can think of.”

“Foods you hate?”

Junhee shook his head.

“I can’t think of any.”

“Good.”

So Donghun got to work and prepared him soup as he cooked some rice in the rice cooker. He wasn’t exactly the Master Chef’s next Big Star, but he could make decent soup and he knew the recipe for ‘Illness soup’. His mum had practically forced him to learn how to cook the Basics when he’d gone to Seoul to live alone.

Junhee was leaning back on the couch with his hands folded over his lap, clearly asleep when Donghun returned with the food and placed it on the coffee table before going back to the kitchen and bringing in some tea along with the chopsticks. Then he sat beside Napping Beauty and placed a hand softly on his forearm. Junhee shifted and opened his mouth.

“Oh, sorry, I guess I dozed off.” Junhee chuckled hoarsely “I feel so warm now…” he chuckled “but I’m keeping my clothes on, I know how it works.”

Donghun smiled.

“Good. I made you some soup and rice. It’s what my mum used to make for me when I was ill.” He passed him the chopsticks and led his hands to the bowls of food “There’s a cup of tea there too. Can you eat while I go down to get your meds?”

Junhee nodded and smiled.

“My wallet is on my chest of drawers and, uh, I think I put the prescription on the nightstand… it’s crumpled.” He grimaced “I slept with it in my pocket.”

Donghun snorted.

“Pretty sure they won’t mind that.”

Donghun went back upstairs and in Junhee’s room where he got the wallet and the crumpled prescription. It wasn’t ripped so it would definitely be alright.

 

Well, it was probably kind of rude to be so curious but Donghun noticed the closed door beside Junhee’s room and next to what seemed to be a small library or an office, judging by the desk he could see through the door and the shelves full of books. He stood close to the shut door and listened for noise. Nothing. Then he felt a rush of adrenaline mixed with curiosity wash over him and his hand touched the doorknob that he quickly turned and opened the door.

 

He almost dropped the objects in his other hand when he noticed what it was.

 

A mini-studio.

 

There was a guitar and a keyboard along with professional recording equipment and small desk in one corner with a closed laptop on it. He noticed the soundproof material all over the walls.

 

Donghun closed the door quietly. Not sure what to make of that he walked back down the stairs.

 

“Ah” Junhee was still eating and he smiled up in Donghun’s general direction “the food is delicious, hyung! Thank you!”

“I’m glad.” Donghun smiled back and he wanted to bring the studio up, but he didn’t know how he’d do that “Uh, I’m going to get your meds.”

“I have money in my wallet” Junhee said “but if it’s not enough, use one of my cards. The yellow one” he told him the pin and kept eating. Donghun stared for a moment at the guy who’d just given him his own wallet and told him his pin code.

“Alright. I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.” Junhee smiled as he kept eating and listening to music.

 

_Music._

Donghun couldn’t get that small, hidden studio out his mind.

What the hell did he use it for?

Was he also a musician?

What was going on?

 

That stuff kept getting weirder and weirder. It was barely 8 o’clock in the morning and he already felt like he’d lived a whole day.

 

(Also, he couldn’t get the fact that Junhee had his dorky face as his lockscreen. Just how much did he enjoy his content?

Yuchan wouldn’t believe a word of it unless he saw pictures or Park Junhee himself. _Hell,_ Donghun couldn’t believe a speck of it and he was living it.

Or was he?

 _Okay,_ he definitely was. Junhee kept complaining about pain and the feeling of him in his arms had been too solid and sensorial for it to be a dream.

Still.

_Wack.)_


	6. Playing the guitar with his eyes closed and the blindfolded origami challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun can't help but ask about the studio and the music that Jun isn't hiding. Jun offers to play for him and then they film a video for Jun's channel and Donghun edits it as he thinks Jun deserves it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, choice, my lovelies, sweetest fandom, kindest people in the world,
> 
> like i said last week, this week would be actual hell and i wouldn't be able to post on friday as usual bc i'd be writing slower. i also though that it would be just a 4k chapter update but lol this here mess is 8k words long so it's pretty much the same as the double update but in a single chapter. i didn't feel like splitting it bc it didn't feel like it had a place where i could split it evenly. next week i'll try to be more careful and find a way to make it shorter (and probably upload two chapters as usual lgfdfjgkd). anyway, this is just soft fluffy and wacky. the gays? chaotic. chan? the most supportive baby boy. ah, i'll add the link to the song in the end notes and uh, idk i hope u like this (even tho it probably has more typos than usual, heck). i'll be replying to the comments on the latest chapter right after i post this (i didn't get the chance to come here earlier, im sorry!). 
> 
> (in case ur wondering, the week went by alright-ish and i did everything i had to do!)
> 
> anyway, enough messy notes. i hope u like this update even tho it's a long, self-indulgent mess. tell me things! bye bye!

* * *

 

Donghun really wanted to call Yuchan as he went down to get Junhee’s medication, but it was really early and his head felt like a goddamn McFlurry with a bunch of weird shit mixed in.

Yuchan was probably getting ready for his 9am since it was just past 8am. He’d also been free the previous day, so he wouldn’t be sleeping on his feet. Well, sure, he could text him too instead of calling but he wanted to listen to his voice and make sure it was him.

Yuchan picked up after the third buzz and he sounded both sleepy and confused when he greeted him,

“’morning, hyung.” He said groggily “Uh… shouldn’t you be sleeping? It’s your” a yawn that triggered a yawn in Donghun as well (and another one in you, probably. The power of empathy is amazing, isn’t it?) “your day off, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is” Donghun confirmed with a sigh “but, uh” how to tell him what was happening without sounding like he was high “something came up… and, uh, yeah, I’ve been up for a while.”

Yuchan fell silent for a couple seconds.

“Alright.” Yuchan said suspiciously “What came up?” He asked.

Donghun sighed deeply as he walked into the pharmacy. He was the only customer at that moment, thankfully, so he just walked up to the pharmacist and requested to have that medication and apologised for being on the phone. The guy nodded and didn’t seem too bothered about it. He was probably not up for talking that early in the morning anyway.

“Hyung?”

“Yes, sorry, I’m still here” Donghun sighed as the pharmacist went to the back to get the meds “uh, well… it’s kind of hard to explain. You won’t believe it anyway” he snorted and the pharmacist was back with a couple boxes.

“I’ll need your ID, please, sir.” He said to Donghun who frowned.

“Hold on, Channie” he put the phone on the counter and fetched his wallet “can I know why?”

“This medicine requires that.” He said as Donghun passed him his ID card “Because it’s too strong.”

“Oh…” Donghun said almost forgetting that Yuchan was still on the phone “strong in what way?”

“It’s a strong painkiller.”

Donghun stared for a moment before reacting.

“Oh… makes sense.” Donghun finally mumbled as he put his ID back in his wallet before pocketing it and grabbing the phone again “Channie.”

“Hyung, what’s happening?” He asked, the concern clear in his voice “Why are you buying painkillers?”

Donghun sighed as he pulled out Junhee’s wallet and noticing that the money he had there was indeed not enough to pay for the whole lot of meds, he pulled out his credit card and pressed the code before grabbing the bag and the receipts and walking out of the pharmacy after thanking the pharmacist.

“I’m here” Donghun said already outside in the cold.

“Yeah, I’m waiting for you to tell me what’s happening.” Yuchan said as he sipped on something “Are you hurt?”

“No, it’s not for me… aish, this is really weird and you won’t believe it so, uh… it’s not bad stuff, it’s just unbelievable and you’ll think I’m losing my marbles” he trailed off “I just wanted to hear your voice and get some sense of normalcy back.”

“Hyung… did you, did you do illegal drugs?” Yuchan lowered his voice clearly worried and Donghun snorted.

“No, baby, don’t worry, I’m not a criminal.” He assured and Yuchan sighed “It’s just that something happened and it’s, it’s so incredible that I don’t even want to tell you because you’ll think I’m dreaming or something. I’ll get back to you later, okay? Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Take care going to class and, uh, don’t forget to eat.”

“Alright, hyung.” Yuchan said with a light clearly confused chuckle “I’ll be waiting for that explanation because so far you sound like you’re hangover or something. You take care too, okay?”

“Okay. We’ll talk later. I love you.”

“Later, hyung. Love you too.”

Then Donghun hung up and pressed the code to get into Junhee’s building and went back to his flat. He found Junhee sitting on the couch where he’d left him and saw that he’d eaten everything and had leant back again to nap. Donghun smiled and sighed as he put the bag on the dreadful coffee table before picking up the dirty dishes and taking them to the kitchen.

‘Strong painkillers.’

Just in how much pain was Junhee? How tired also? Because he kept dozing off despite the pain. He’d complained about the pain plenty, but he kept falling asleep. That damn guy was making him lose his mind.

 

He washed the dishes and put them aside before returning. Junhee was still sleeping when he returned with a glass of water and started popping the pills out to give them to him after putting the glass on the table.

“Junhee ya” he called softly, holding a handful of pills on one hand and rubbing his forearm softly with the other. Junhee groaned a little and smiled just a tad before clearing his throat.

“Hyung…” he rasped slowly turning in his direction even though his eyes were covered “you’re back, I’m sorry, I dozed off again… the food, the food was delicious.” He said still a bit hoarse and he smiled from ear to ear “Thank you.”

“Yeah, now I got a handful of meds for you to swallow and, well, I hope you can do that.”

“I think I can…” Junhee said softly, groaning breathily as he straightened up “how many?”

“Um… three” Donghun counted “it’s best if they all go down at once.”

Junhee scrunched his nose and reached his hand where Donghun put the pills before passing him the glass of water. Donghun smiled when he saw Junhee take a deep breath as if he was about start running or something and pop all the pills in his mouth before quickly gulping them down with the water, emptying the glass.

“Well done!” Donghun chuckled and Junhee grinned.

“Thank you, hyung” he said and then sighed and leaned back again “they said two weeks at the hospital. I mean” he cleared his throat and shifted a little and huffed “even after my eyesight is back, they said two weeks.”

“Ah” Donghun nodded “yes, the pharmacist said that it was just two of them, you know, the two weeks. Once the fever is gone you can stop taking that one… but well, since you have a cold now, you also have to take the cold medicine and the cough drops.”

“Those are fine.” Junhee said with a smile “The cough drops are great, and the cold medicine doesn’t taste bad. I just want to…” he stopped talking and sighed, and his smile faded just a little “I’m getting boring, aren’t I?”

“No.” Donghun said rubbing his arm again “Listen” he didn’t know what to tell him, his mind was still swirling like a goddamn tornado and thinking about the whole damn studio with instruments this guy had upstairs and then the excruciating pain Junhee was hiding “I don’t know what to tell you.” He snorted “I’m not good with comforting words but…” he sighed “I mean, your jokes are terrible” Junhee laughed and winced a little and Donghun chuckled leaving his hand on his arm “but I love your smile.” He said quietly, and it didn’t really connect with anything but he was feeling it and he said it. Junhee didn’t stop smiling “You’re in horrible pain, aren’t you?”

Junhee fell silent.

“Pardon?”

“You’re in _a lot_ of pain and you’re hiding it.” Donghun pressed “Please, please don’t lie to me… I know this whole thing is weird and” he huffed “and I’m not telling you my name, but you’re in horrible pain and yet…” he felt his eyes get dumbly wet “you keep smiling.”

 

“It’ll pass.”

 

“With the meds it will.” Donghun complained “But until now… that’s why you could barely stand earlier. Your head is in awful pain and you feel faint.”

 

“Hyung…” Junhee said and the smile was still on his lips “it’s fine. Don’t worry about my pain.” He paused “I can take it.”

 

“Junhee ya, you don’t have to pretend to enjoy the pain in front of me” Donghun complained “I don’t like that. If you want to complain and vent about the pain, then do, please.”

 

“I don’t want to.”

 

“But you are in pain.”

 

“Yes, but I don’t want to burden you with it. You’re already doing so much for me… I can’t, I’ll never be able to repay you.” Junhee smiled and he brought a slow hand in Donghun’s general direction. Donghun held it and he held it back “Ah, I wanted to touch your face but it’s hard…” Donghun brought Junhee’s hand slowly to his own cheek and let him touch it “oh, th-thank you…” he smiled softly as a he gently caressed his cheek with his warm calloused fingers and Donghun closed his eyes, thinking about Junhee’s presence and his mysterious existence and the mini-studio “I can’t see you… this is the only way… your face is warm” he smiled softly “you’re really godsend, hyung. You know, I’m originally from Suncheon… my sisters are working there and, and they’d probably come over to take care of me, but I was scared…” he said and Donghun let him go on because scared? Of what? “that they’d be too worried and something would happen to them on the way here” he chuckled “it’s silly but I don’t… I didn’t want to worry them. Or my parents…” he smiled a little “we’re not on bad terms but they didn’t really approve of the life I chose… so… last night I… well, I thought I’d die and…” he trailed off as his lower lip started trembling. Donghun clutched his hand in his and clenched his jaw.

 

That’s when he decided to send it all to hell and ask since it was also a way to change the goddamn subject.

 

“You don’t have to talk about that if you don’t want to.” He said firmly swiftly changing the subject by directly saying that that’s what he was doing “Let’s change the damn subject.” Junhee smiled and looked thankful yet again “Do you, uh, do you happen to play any instruments, Junhee ya?” He asked quietly, with his hand still over Junhee’s. The hand wasn’t pulled away because of the question and Junhee chuckled.

 

Okay, so he wasn’t hiding it.

 

“Ah, actually, yes, I do.” He replied “Why do you ask?”

Donghun decided to be honest, not believing how easy it’d been to get Junhee to be honest as well. Maybe honesty was something to be worked on.

 

(Donghun was yet to tell him who he was but that was a whole different matter. He was being honest with his feelings and intentions and that was, in his opinion anyway, more important than that.

Or at least as important.

Anyway)

 

“Your fingers are calloused as if you’ve been playing a guitar with them and, well, I’m sorry about it but I, I kind of saw your instruments upstairs.”

 

Junhee didn’t look upset in the slightest.

 

Donghun wasn’t sure what to make of his small smile but it was anger or anything.

 

“Ah, you did… well, now you must be thinking that I’m a crap musician, if I have them and make bad diy videos.”

“Not really” Donghun confessed “I’m just, well, curious, I guess. I actually have the impression it’s the opposite.” Donghun let the smile show in his voice and Junhee felt it too in his hand because he smiled when he did.

 

Junhee fell silent for a moment before sighing a little.

 

“If you” he started “if you fetch me the guitar, I can play for you… not sing a lot because of my throat but… I can hum it or something.” He then grinned like an idiot “I can play the guitar with my eyes closed.”

 

“I swear your jokes are awful.” Donghun snorted as Junhee chuckled in silence. Donghun got away from him gently yet swiftly. He quickly trod upstairs to get the guitar and ran back down to give it to Junhee who was still smiling. Was it a random request? Sure. Donghun was dying to listen to him in action though.

 

“Any requests?” Junhee asked quietly.

 

“You pick.” Donghun said without really thinking with a smile in his voice and Junhee smiled “Oh I forgot to look for a pick, I can—”

 

“It’s fine.” Junhee said “I can pick it with my fingers.”

 

Donghun never in his life was so quick in pulling out his phone and pulling up the camera app to film it. No, he wouldn’t share it with the world. He would just show it Yuchan, because he knew he could trust him and that was one way to make him believe the unbelievable situation he’d gotten in.

 

 _Comes and Goes_ by Hyukoh, full acoustic _._ Donghun almost dropped the phone when Junhee tapped the guitar with his knuckles signalling the beginning of the song before he started picking the strings with his fingers and singing it in a very low yet definitely in tune voice. Donghun could only imagine what his voice sounded like 100%. There was an indescribable passion and sentiment in the way he played the guitar and even his low, ill voice just added a feeling to the song Donghun couldn’t explain.

 

Now, Junhee was singing for him and he was smiling.

 

Smiling and singing for him.

 

Donghun hoped his shameful tears couldn’t be heard in the recording.

 

When he finished and sighed, Junhee smiled brighter than before and Donghun closed the app and quickly pocketed the phone.

“It’s a song I really like … how was it, hyung?” He asked sheepishly and Donghun almost banged his own head on the dreadful coffee table as well.

“It’s amazing” Donghun snapped “it’s a lot better than, than that Donghun guy’s stuff and you’re even playing the goddamn guitar without, without seeing. I can’t… why don’t you, why are you not posting music too?”

 

“Lee Donghun’s voice is better than mine though.” Junhee insisted stubbornly and Donghun huffed.

 

The anger was surging. and he wanted to keep it at bay, but it was hard. Really hard.

 

Junhee had inspired him to go after his dreams of becoming a musician with his positive attitude and disregard for failure with his silly Lifestyle/DIY videos. Knowing that Junhee had been a musician all along was hitting him in a way he couldn’t explain. and he wanted Junhee to explain himself even though he technically didn’t owe him anything.

 

“And it’s because youtube… well, my favourite singer is there” he started sheepishly “well, actually a lot of singers I like a lot” he said and Donghun’s anger subsided a little even though he was still upset “but youtube doesn’t feel like a real attempt.”

 

And Donghun’s anger was gone.

 

That was exactly what he thought himself and the reason why he posted.

 

“Ah… I agree…” Donghun muttered “you’re right.” He snorted “It’s for the weak.”

 

Junhee shook his head lightly.

 

“No way. Not for the weak. It takes a lot of courage to share your art.” He said. Donghun wiped his eyes in silence and mouthed a swear word. This guy was coming right for his damn heart “I would try youtube…” Junhee said, smiling in his general direction “but not alone, I think. When it’s with friends, it’s different… I’m not fit to be a soloist” he chuckled “I’ve never said this to anybody before, I guess the meds are making me feel drowsy… can you please put my guitar where it won’t get damaged, hyung?”

 

“Sure.” Donghun promptly said and took it from his hands before putting it beside the couch “Do you need to lie down or something?”

 

“Hm… not really… I’m better off sitting down right now” Junhee said with a small smile. In how much pain was this guy really? “Ah” he mumbled “I should have posted today… but now I can’t, can I?” He pursed his lips before he sighed “Uh… if, if it’s not too much trouble, could you please write a tweet for me?”

 

Donghun looked at him in silence.

 

“Hyung?”

 

“Yeah” he said shaking his head “yeah, yeah, I, I can do that. I just” he snorted as he got up and went back up to get his phone and then returned.

 

That guy was still thinking about his videos even when in horrible pain. His priorities were all mixed up, honestly.

 

“Back” He just had to slide to unlock. Thankfully, his face wasn’t in his lockscreen or homescreen. He sat back down beside Junhee “what do you want me to write?”

“Uh…” Junhee sighed softly and leaned back “Write like… uh, ‘ _I’m sorry but due to personal reasons, uh, I won’t be able to post today as I usually do. I don’t know when I will be able to post again but please don’t worry! Everything’s fine…”_

“Liar.” Donghun accused as he typed the tweet and Junhee pursed his lips.

“I don’t want to say I’m like this, hyung” he complained quietly “some people might get worried or something.”

Donghun stopped typing and huffed.

“Why don’t you post a video anyway?”

“I have nothing ready.”

“What about whatever you were trying to do yesterday?”

“It wasn’t finished. It was barely started when I fell.” He sighed.

Donghun groaned.

“What were you even trying to do?”

Junhee chuckled and pulled his mussed hair back with his fingers.

“Origami decorations.” He said “I was going to get the paper when it happened. I have the opening and that’s it.”

Donghun stared at him.

“Origami?”

“Yeah.”

“Can you make it?”

“I can.”

“With your eyes closed?”

Junhee fell silent.

“Maybe? Not the ones I was going to make, I can’t, but I can make some.”

“Great” Donghun said and huffed “then we’ll improvise something, and you won’t worry anybody.”

“Who’ll edit the video?”

“I will.” Donghun said before realising he wasn’t supposed to know how to but then he remembered his IT degree. Give the man a break “I have a degree in IT and, and can mess with Sony Vegas and shit like that. I’ll, I’ll uh, I’ll watch your videos to see how you edit” _rewatch, or_ maybe not even that because he already knew his style “or I can just wing it. It’ll be alright. Make it a, I don’t know, ‘Folding Origami Blindfolded and Drunk Challenge’ or something.”

Junhee pondered his suggestion and finally shrugged with a chuckle.

“I don’t know how I’ll make the opening and ending scenes…” then he took full notice of what he said and snorted looking a little upset “I’m not drunk though!”

“Blindfolded.” Donghun said “You’ll sound drunk when the meds kick in for real, I read the side-effects.”

Junhee smiled and nodded a little.

“Well… if you say so… alright, let’s do that then.”

Would it a be a mess? Most definitely.

Who cared though?

* * *

 

Junhee had a dining table with only one chair in his living room and it was in very rough shape because he kept messing it up with his DIYs and Donghun directed him to the chair before getting the origami paper from the shelf where he said it was and got a scarf from upstairs to blindfold Junhee in a way that the eyepatches couldn’t be seen.

“Can I say that there’s someone here with me?” Junhee asked with a smile that Donghun wished he could keep in the footage. He’d already started the camera and connected it to a power socket after turning on his lights.

“You can, but, you want me to talk?”

“Only if you want to.” Junhee grinned “You’ll also be editing this video, it’ll be really surprising, won’t it?”

“Alright then. I’m here.” Donghun snorted and Junhee chuckled.

“Hi, hyung, good to have you here! Have I told you that your perfume is amazing?”

Donghun snorted in disbelief. Was it really?

“Thanks. Your aftershave is also really nice.”

“Aw” Junhee smiled “really? That’s good. I’m really, really picky with them. I’m glad you liked it. I’ll gift you some soon.” He grinned and Donghun chortled.

“I’ll keep this mess at the beginning” Donghun declared “it’ll look more like a drunk video that way.” He said and Junhee chuckled. Yep, that would be there too “Now, go on, do your thing. What are you gonna show us today, Park Junhee?”

Junhee beamed.

“Something I won’t be able to see actually! Hi, this is Jun!” He greeted in his usual way “I hope you’re all doing well today and that you’re healthy and beautiful as always… well, I’m a bit ill as you can tell from my voice but it’s nothing serious!” He paused after dismissing that with his hand “And I’m not exactly sober today” he smiled meekly and Donghun snickered “and that hyung is laughing at me!” He pointed in the camera’s general direction “I won’t tell you who he is because that is” he paused dramatically and Donghun, practically a professional cameraman, zoomed in on his face “ _calcified_ information.”

“ _Classified_.” Donghun corrected with a chuckle.

“Exactly what I meant, thank you, _Mystery_ Hyung.” Junhee said with a nod “Well, I will be trying to make as many origamis as I can while blindfolded and… we didn’t decide what I’d win if I win” he said to Donghun who snorted.

“A back massage.” He said. They both were starting to sound drunk and neither of them was.

“And if I lose?”

“Nothing happens.” Donghun said simply and Junhee’s smile was so fond and full of warmth that even Donghun blushed.

“Aw, this hyung is too kind. Really…” he was suddenly dead serious and it was easy to tell even though his eyes were hidden “I’m sure some girls would want him as their _special_ oppa and some boys would want him as their _special_ hyung.” He smiled and Donghun’s heart skipped a beat. This guy really was walking the line and not giving a shit about what anyone said or thought. Maybe it was the excuse that he was drunk ( _high_ , really).  

Still.

Holy shit.

 

Also, ‘ _Special Hyung’_?

 

“Would you want _me_ as your special hyung?” Donghun asked with a snort. They were supposed to be drunk anyway so whatever. If it was going to be a gay mess, it would be an all-out gay mess.

 

(In for a penny in for the whole pound, eh?)

 

Junhee smiled his cattish smile and Donghun was disarmed. His own cheeks flared up.

 

“Who knows.” He said.

 

Donghun almost had a heart attack and clutched his chest in shock barely avoiding a gasp.

 

“ _God_ , will this be left in?” Donghun asked breathlessly and Junhee chortled and shrugged.

 

“I don’t know and, and I don’t care. You’ll be editing it, so I’ll leave it in your hands.” He said nonchalantly “Okay! So, the paper” he felt about the table for the paper and found it pulling it towards himself “I will be trying to make” he started enumerating with his fingers “A crane, a butterfly, a frog, a piano, a cat, a whale and a star… I could make a dragon, but, but I don’t know if” he giggled “if I’ll be sober enough to, like, make that one…”

 

Donghun snorted as he started making the crane. He always talked about random things while he made his DIYs, which was nice and really distinguished him from other DIY/Lifestyle youtubers.

Now that Donghun thought about it, it was maybe because he kept talking about other things that he got distracted and messed up. He’d tell him that later. Probably. It wasn’t as if he wanted him to stop talking when he seemed so happy doing it.

Anyway.

 

“Do you know about, about the thing where you make 1000 origami cranes and can make a wish?” He asked and Donghun almost replied, as he usually did when he was watching his videos. It was really weird to watch them in real time and realise just how real he was “Well, there’s this old legend that says that if you can make a thousand origami cranes, _Tsuru_ , in Japanese, you can ask for one wish” he was looking up and in the camera’s general direction as he folded the crane with his small sluggish fingers “I tried to do that once” he confessed with a smile “but my mum found my cranes and binned them, thinking they were scrap paper. I had about… hm… 600, if I’m not mistaken.” He chuckled “I didn’t get mad at her because she didn’t know and, and I had put it all in a bin bag” Donghun chortled and shook his head “that hyung is laughing again” Junhee grinned and Donghun smiled. Junhee was seriously too adorable “then I asked if she’d done that and she apologised because she didn’t pay attention. I was… maybe 11?” He shrugged “Not sure…then she asked what I was going to wish for and I said that I just wanted my friend to get better because, because he’d broken his arm” he smiled a little “my friend is a writer, you see. He was really upset because that was his writing arm… _hand._ You don’t write with your arm.” Junhee giggled and Donghun scoffed as Junhee gestured with his arm “Unless you dip you elbow in paint and try to write like that. But, well the hand is part of the arm and…”

“Junhee ya, please.” Donghun snorted.

 

(Donghun wanted to smooch his face for being a sweetheart from the crib though.

Folding cranes because his friend was sad. He really was something else.)

 

“Sorry” Junhee chortled and coughed a little “I’m not funny.”

 

“Sometimes you are” Donghun confessed “and you’re a cutie all the time so it makes up for that.”

 

“Ah, hyung” Junhee’s bare cheeks got pink and that’s when Donghun realised that he hadn’t put any makeup on his face. His skin was good anyway, but the fact was that the pink would show “you’re too kind!”

Donghun said nothing to that.

The crane was successful folded, and he put it on the table and shoved it aside with a big high grin.

“Does it look good?”

“Yep. Looks great. Congrats!”

 

Then he folded the butterfly and once again kept talking, his speech getting more and more slurred and his jokes sillier and sillier, as he talked about butterflies and how pretty and colourful, they were and told a tale about how when he was a kid, he’d collect caterpillars and feed them until they became butterflies and flew away. The he folded the frog and said that he loved frogs so much that that was the reason why he was sounding like one and Donghun cackled.

“You’re such a dork!” He said aloud and Junhee chuckled.

Then he made the piano and said that only people wearing pink and yellow sweaters could see the keys and grinned.

“He has ugly socks by the way” Donghun exposed, laughing “they’re pink and red.”

Donghun regretted mentioning that when Junhee suddenly stuck his legs up and showed them off almost falling off the chair.

Donghun gasped loudly.

“They’re warm and cosy though! Hashtag #JunsSocksAreCosy!” he chuckled as if he hadn’t almost fallen off the chair and putting his legs under the table again.

“Be careful, please. Don’t fall.” Donghun huffed.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Junhee said with a sheepish smile “I’ll be careful.”

 

He managed to make the cat as well and Donghun said that when he saw his display picture for the first time, he’d thought he was a cat and Junhee had a laughing fit.

“Why!?”

“Your smile, I guess.” He said trying not to get into many details in the haze he was in watching Junhee fold origami blind and managing to do it well. That of course until the dragon came and he just made a goddamn mess of the paper and couldn’t remember how to finish before having another laughing fit.

 

“I lose… I can’t finish the dragon, I don’t, I have no idea how the rest goes. I’m sorry!” He exclaimed in a slurred, hoarse voice and folded his hands in apology.

Donghun chuckled.

“You did a really neat job for someone who’s drunk as hell.” He said and Junhee grinned “They look like what they’re supposed to look like _… sort of_.”

“Aw, thank you hyung” then he covered his cheeks “are my cheeks blushing? Ah… it’s because I’m drunk and this hyung is too sweet” he smiled coyly “and I guess that’s it! It was a different video and I had physical company this time which was great! Next time I’ll be doing regular stuff and sober!” He chortled “And” he smiled “next time it’ll be better for sure, okay? I may even try to make a dragon! So, until then! Bye-bye!” He sent his flying kiss in the camera’s general direction “I hope I’m sending the kiss at you and not at the shelf because I love you more than the shelf.”

 

And the video ended with him chuckling and leaning his head on the table. He was actually sending the kiss in Donghun’s direction but Donghun said nothing. There was gay mess aplenty already.

 

“There we go.” Donghun said turning off the camera and plugging it to the computer to get the footage. While it transferred, he looked at Junhee who was still leaning on the table “Junhee ya, are you feeling okay?”

“Hm… I’m sleepy and” he slowly sat upright, pulling the scarf off his face and throwing it aside “the pain is… I can’t feel any pain.” He smiled giddily at him “It’s so weird. Good weird.”

“I’m glad.” Donghun said helping him stand and directing him to the couch where he let him sit down. He then grabbed all the pillows he could get and made him a comfortable place to lie his head and helped him lie down “I’ll get you your duvet.”

“Thank you, hyung… you really are a star…” he slurred sleepily “you’re an angel…”

“Okay. Whatever you say.” Donghun sighed with a small smile as he went up again to get him the duvet that he then threw over him and tucked him in. He was already asleep when he did that.

So, Donghun spent a really long time editing the video and at first he was going with Junhee’s style. He added his opening sequence with the name of the channel and the little song he had along with it (he found the folder with the templates easily) but then he decided to do whatever the fuck he liked until he realised that he was feeling weak because he hadn’t eaten. He went over to Junhee’s kitchen and got some of the ill soup and rice for himself before washing the dishes and returning to the living room.

He spent a couple more hours editing because it was a long video and he kept looking for cute effects to add (and paid for them.

 _Yes,_ he wanted to pay actual money to add flowers and hearts whenever Junhee smiled sweetly.)

Finally, it was nearing 3pm when the video finished rendering and he could finally upload it to youtube. The connection was fast so it didn’t take too long to finish the upload and in the meanwhile he got the stuff Junhee usually added to the descriptions of his videos: links or actual tutorials but since Donghun was the one doing it, he kind of did what he did in his own videos and added his social media as well after writing a couple words in the description along with the links to tutorials to the origamis Junhee had made (it took him a bit to get the exact ones, really. Especially the dragon, which was kind of annoying, since he had barely done that one but for that very reason, it was essential that it was there). He wrote,

 

_Hello, this isn’t Jun writing. It’s the Mystery hyung, who also edited this freely and did what he wanted kekeke Our sweet Junhee is ill so wish him a fast recovery from his cold! He’s not drunk anymore but he’s sleeping right now because he’s still a bit ill and he didn’t want to leave us without videos. For that reason, I offered to edit and upload this video even though it’s a really messy video kekeke Junhee ya told me to write that having a special hyung is nothing to be ashamed of… even though our country isn’t very accepting of that in general… we’re good in many things but we could definitely improve in some respects because we’re still behind when it comes to that kind of thing…_

_Have a good day!_

 

* * *

 

Then the video finished uploading and he took a deep breath before hitting publish and checking that it was working. It was. He went on Junhee’s twitter and made a post about it with just the link to the video and the words ‘New Video! <3’. Then he went on his Instagram and posted it in his stories as well before putting everything away and closing the laptop. It was done, and he didn’t want to see the feedback just yet.

He glanced over at Junhee who was still sleeping soundly. Those meds were really strong. He walked over to tuck him in again and sat down on the armchair beside the couch before pulling out his phone.

Well, he knew he shouldn’t be looking at the feedback but he was kind of anxious about it so he did anyway. He went to Junhee’s channel to check for comments on his videos after taking off the sound from his own phone. The comments had already started pouring in and Donghun’s heart raced when he noticed that everyone was in love with not only the silly concept but also with the fact that Junhee had someone with him and wondering wildly about who it was. The shipping was over the roof but Donghun had been expecting it and ready to ignore it. They also wondered if it was also a youtuber. Some people, like Junhee, were suspicious and claiming to recognise his voice from somewhere.

Donghun snorted and sighed deeply.

If they were suspicious, Yuchan would recognise it in a heartbeat. He should be done with his shift by then. Donghun went over to the kitchen to get himself something else to eat and found some biscuits.

Sure enough, Yuchan texted him as he was on his third biscuit and leaning against the counter, thinking about the weirdness of life,

 

**My Baby Channie**

New Message(s) (6)

 

Hyung, dont even try to lie to me

That’s u in jun’s latest video

I see now why u were so weird this morning

I dont know what to say

I have so many questions

Im home already btw

4:32pm

 

Glad ur safe back home

I wasnt gonna lie

It is me

I knew u wouldnt believe so I didn’t say anything

I have many questions as well

Its all weird af

4:33pm

 

Yuchan was calling him and Donghun chuckled as he pulled a chair and sat in front of the kitchen table.

“Hi, Channie.” He said.

“Hyung.” Yuchan said and sighed “Please explain, I almost, I almost crapped my pants when I heard your voice.”

Donghun kept munching on the biscuits and was quiet for a moment.

“Sorry, I was eating… uh” he huffed “well, it’s all very weird” he repeated speaking quietly “I don’t know if you read the description, but Junhee is sleeping… we filmed that stuff this morning” he started and Yuchan hummed as backchannel and Donghun proceeded “yeah, and he wasn’t drunk… the meds I was getting this morning were for him and he’s been sleeping for ages because” he huffed “he was in real pain and for some reason he’s exhausted so he just crashed on the couch and has been there since then.”

Yuchan didn’t say anything.

“So it’s not just a cold.”

“No” Donghun replied in a small voice “he got seriously hurt last night… he hit his head and is currently blind…” Yuchan gasped “yeah, and he’ll be for a couple days because it damaged his nerves.”

Yuchan shock rendered him speechless.

“I’m so… I don’t know what to say.”

“I feel.”

“And, and where exactly do you come in that story?”

Donghun scoffed.

“Well, last night I was on till because Sohn wasn’t in and he just” he sighed “he turned up almost dying of hypothermia when we were about to close, with just enough money for a happy meal and, well, I felt like he’d die if I didn’t help so I offered to help and he just… well, he took my help without knowing who I am even though, even though he recognised my voice from somewhere… he still doesn’t know who I am because I’m, I’m a coward and couldn’t tell him” Donghun felt his eyes well up “he’s really a sweetheart… he was, he was in so much pain but he kept smiling… and he’s, he’s my fan…” he was venting and Yuchan was quiet as he did “he has my dumb face, one of the pics you posted, as his lockscreen as I, as I have him… this so, so fucking weird and I just… he doesn’t want to worry his family and his close friends can’t come over… I can’t leave him alone, Channie.”

Yuchan was silent for a bit longer waiting for the rest but Donghun had lost his words and was trying to avoid crying like an idiot. He cussed quietly.

“Hyung” Yuchan finally said when it was clear that Donghun was done talking and collecting himself “you’re also a sweetheart, a mean one sometimes, but a sweetheart nonetheless” he said and Donghun snorted “no, don’t snort on me, okay? Your heart is full of love. Even if you didn’t have a light crush on him, no, don’t contradict me” Yuchan interrupted when he heard Donghun’s gasp “you do, and that’s fine. Even if you didn’t, you’d still help. Look” he sighed deeply as Donghun wiped his eyes and quietly munched on another biscuit as his dongsaeng helped him sort through his life “call in sick tomorrow and I’ll forge you proof that you were at the hospital” Donghun snorted and Yuchan chuckled “yeah, it’s illegal but I know how to do it and this is important… Park Junhee can’t be alone.” He declared and Donghun nodded and hummed “Yeah. Does that sound like a plan?”

“It does” Donghun mumbled “my baby is a real genius” he smiled a little “I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t want to leave him alone and I also didn’t want him outside because he really caught a cold, that’s, that bit’s true. He was burning up when I got here this morning.” He clicked his tongue. Yuchan hummed.

“Yeah, I could tell… so you just pretended he was drunk so that nobody would know he was on, well, serious meds and not just some cold meds.” Yuchan sighed and then chuckled “I loved the effects you added to the video, you mad lad.” Donghun snorted “He’s not much better though” he cackled “he’s so wild, I almost choked on my milk when he talked about ‘special hyungs’. He’s really doing God’s work.”

“He’s really amazing… also, look” Donghun said slowly and quietly “I have a clip I recorded earlier but this is like, this is like when Byeongkwan sent you that pic and told you that Sekwan was real… top secret.”

“Oh dear” Yuchan chuckled “I’m almost scared.”

“It’s nothing like that… you won’t be expecting it though. Text me when you watch it. I’ll go now. Check on him, get him food.” Donghun said and Yuchan chuckled “Yeah, maybe I’m a soft asshole. So what?”

“No comments.” Yuchan said with a grin in his voice “I’ll be waiting for the clip.”

“Okay, talk later. I love you.”

“Love you too, hyung.”

 

Donghun hung up and got out of the kitchen. Junhee was still sleeping on the couch but he had to wake him up.

“Junhee ya” he called softly, sitting on the coffee table and softly caressing his hair “wakey, wakey. You gotta eat something.”

Junhee didn’t wake up and breathed deeply but shifted a little.

“Jun ah, come on. Wake up, you must eat.” Donghun called again feeling his temperature. Hot. Probably feverish again but he’d take the cold meds again and it’d go down. Donghun saw him breathe in and part his lips before smacking them.

“Hyung…” he mumbled groggily, and the smile was small but there in a couple seconds “you’re still here… and, asleep… I slept well… still sleepy…”

“I’m still here, yes” Donghun said softly pulling his hand away and sighing “and if you want me here for, for the next couple days, until you recover, I can do that. I just talked to a friend who’s also a co-worker and he’ll take care of it, I’ll just have to call in sick.”

Junhee was quiet and Donghun thought he’d fallen asleep again.

“You’d do that…?”

“It’s not like I love my job anyway.” Donghun deflected with a snort “So, it’s kind of an excuse to be away from that hellhole.” Junhee chuckled softly.

“You can stay over if you want… this couch can, if unfolds and, uh…”

“It’s a couch that turns into a bed?”

“Yeah.” Junhee chuckled “Sorry…” he was still under the duvet warm and cosy “my head feels hazy… but no pain. It’s great.”

“I bet” Donghun smiled “alright, I’ll cook you something to eat and there’s still some soup… you can take the cold stuff right now though, I’ll get you a glass of water.”

“Thank you, hyung.”

Donghun returned with the glass and saw him sitting down on the couch but rolled up in the duvet.

“Cold?”

“Yeah.”

Donghun clicked his tongue.

“It’s normal, but I wish that damn fever would go away.” He huffed and popped the fizzy tablet it the water before giving it a light stir when it dissolved and passing to Junhee “Here.”

Junhee drank it much more confidently that time.

“Can I get the strawberry cough drops too?” Junhee smiled when Donghun took the empty glass from his hands. Donghun chortled heartily.

“You sound like an ill child.”

“I am an ill child.” Junhee chuckled as Donghun gave him one of the cough drops and he happily put it in his mouth “And everyone likes medicine that doesn’t taste like poison.” Donghun laughed heartily at that one and Junhee chuckled, leaning back against the pillows, still rolled in the duvet “I’m serious… once I took a medicine so disgusting, I was sick on my dad’s pants and he threw the medicine in the bin saying it wasn’t, that they shouldn’t make kids’ medicine taste like shit.”

Donghun cackled and Junhee kept laughing too as he suckled on the cough drop.

“It was funny because he pulled off his trousers and walked around in his underpants” he grinned “and my grandma from my mum’s side had come over and saw him like that” Donghun was in tears imagining it “yeah, and she started yelling ‘What an example for my grandchildren!’ but then she saw the puked on trousers and mum explained what was happening and she forgave him.”

“Poor Mr Park.” Donghun chuckled “Alright, baby, I’ll be in the kitchen making you food. If you need anything call me.”

Junhee fell silent and Donghun was expecting him to say at least okay when he realised. He realised he’d called him ‘baby’ on accident. His cheeks flared up and he wanted to vanish. It was the damn habit. He called Yuchan baby all the time.

“Shit, I called you baby… um” Donghun didn’t know what to do with himself so he decided to just be honest “uh, when I’m comfortable with my younger friends I just… I call them baby sometimes when they’re being especially cute. Please don’t… shit, this is so weird. I’m sorry.”

“No…” Junhee smiled and his face was also red like a cherry “I don’t mind that… it’s good to know you’re comfortable with me, hyung… I’m just not used to being called baby, I guess…”

“Sad because you’re a whole cute baby.” Donghun said with a smile and sighed “And I don’t want to make this weirder than it already is, so, hyung will be in the kitchen. Give a shout if you need anything. I’ll put your music playing.” He said walking over to the laptop and getting the music on shuffle.

“Thank you, hyungie.” Junhee smiled softly and leant back, still suckling on the candy-like medicine “You’re also very cute!”

“You only know what my nose feels like.” Donghun snorted walking over to the kitchen “I’m not cute.”

“Yes, you are.” Junhee insisted and yawned with a smile “I’m sorry if I fall asleep again.”

“I’ll wake you up again, if you do.”

Then he went over to the kitchen and made him something good and nutritious that wouldn’t make him feel sick with the amount of meds he was taking. As he put the water in a pot to boil it he sent Yuchan the promised clip through kkt and saw that it was read right away.

He replied a little bit later,

 

**My Baby Channie**

New Message(s) (2)

 

Im speechless

I really have no words

5:21pm

Yeah

mood

He can also play the piano

He has a mini studio in his flat

And he can sing as u heard

Imagine if he wasn’t hoarse rn

5:22pm

Why is he not posting these

Like

Damn

He was literally playing with his eyes closed

5:23pm

And even hoarse is voice sounded so great

And so in tune

I feel robbed honestly

5:24pm

Mood

I felt robbed too

But then lol

He said that he wasn’t posting bc yt didnt feel like

Quote

‘a real attempt’

5:25pm

Hang on

So he’s a musician?

5:25pm

Yea and better than me

Even tho this crackhead insists im better

5:26pm

Djhjkhdfkgd

I cant

So ur both stanning each other

And going like ‘no YOU’RE better!’

But u can’t argue bc ur also a crackhead

And didnt tell him it was u

5:26pm

Im losing my shit now lmfao

Thats so silly

Consider covering serendipity next

Or anything concerning fate idk

DNA lmao

5:27pm

I’ll come up with more suggestions lmao

Cant think of many rn bc im laughing too hard

At your wacky predicament

Then I’ll send them to u, hyung uwu

5:28pm

You make fun of hyung

Then u offer help and uwu me

U sleazy lil shit

Ur lucky I love you so much

U rascal

5:28pm

Kekekeke

Aw, hyungie is the softest UWU

I’m serious tho

I’m gonna get u a good song

Maybe you’ll get Park Junhee to finally have his yt debut ;D

5:29pm

Doubt it but okay

That’ll be cool bc I dont knw many songs like that

Now I gtg bc im cooking

Talk later, channie

Ily

5:30pm

Alright, cooking fairy hyung kekeke

Ily too uwu

Talk later <3

5:30pm

 

And Donghun put the phone back in his pocket before focusing on the food again. The water was boiling already and so was his mind and his heart (the metaphorical one, naturally. The physical one just kept on racing whenever he thought about how outlandish the last couple days had been.

He felt like he was living another life. He’d even get to skip work for the weekend thanks to Yuchan’s illegal methods, that would be used for a greater good, mind.

It wasn’t because of Donghun’s light crush; it was because Junhee needed help.

The fact that they stanned each other was also irrelevant as a reason, really.

 _Really, really_.)

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Comes and Goes by Hyukoh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECMc1SB60E0)
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> Also, taking self-indulgence to another level, I'd like some fate/soulmate themed songs recs because like Donghun in this fic I don't know that many jdshkjfdhg I'm so sorry, I'm like this. Heck /flies away


	7. Detectives Kang and Kim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuchan wants to get to the bottom of the Park Junhee mystery and goes to Byeongkwan to further his investigation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> henlo, choice, fam
> 
> friday update as per usual, last week was the exception! I tried to keep the chapters short this time but they're still quite long. And yeah, it'll be a double update because since I had more time to think I could find a nice place to break it. Plus, it was easier to do that when this here chapter is from Yuchan's POV. He's a shrewd little baby here because yes. I love him. Now we're only missing Sehyoon's, eh? hahaha uh, so yeah, the summary pretty much says what it's about and i hope u dig it. Again, I wanted more fleshing out and I wanted to write from Yuchan's POV with Kwannie being anGERY so this happened. there's a lot of texting since Byeongkwan is not around at the moment in this au. I hope you enjoy it fjkdhgkjfd
> 
> more messy notes in the next chapter which will be posted shortly!

* * *

 

Yuchan couldn’t believe that the universe was conspiring to let Donghun meet his internet crush. He was still losing it as he put his phone down and got off his bed to go get his laptop and look for songs. Both for his next cover but also for Donghun weird predicament. He pulled the duvet and the blanket up to his neck and lied down against his pillows.

(No, that wasn’t a position that was good for your back, but it was cold. The dorms didn’t have proper heating and he was yet to get a personal heater. He kept forgetting about it until he was home and felt cold.

The usual business).

So, he put on his headphones and watched the wacky video of Junhee and ‘Mystery Hyung’ again to fully experience how absolutely weird it was.

No explanation as to why he didn’t show up on cam without the blindfold.

Pretending to be drunk.

Both being chaotically gay and acting like it was nothing (it wasn’t elsewhere, perhaps, but it was in Korea).

The effects Donghun had added.

The music he’d used as background.

It was a whole damn mess and Yuchan wasn’t surprised to see many people in the comments wilding about the Mystery Hyung’s identity and shipping them like mad. Some people were claiming to recognise his voice but Yuchan scrolled and scrolled and didn’t see anyone hit the bullseye. They were mostly going for other DIY/Lifestyle youtubers and Yuchan snorted.

 

Well, he didn’t blame them for not associating Junhee with music, really.

 

He’d also been shook listening to him playing the guitar and singing in tune while on God knows what meds and ill as fuck. The guy was blind, for Heaven’s sake. That reminded him of blind bluesmen and he looked up Blind Willie McTell, one of his favourites just for the heck of it. The similarities were there it was just a different way of expressing the feelings.

 

(Yes, he’d been digging into the history of music even though his major was business management. Naturally, his parents had been pleased with him choosing a Realistic Degree, but he had vocal and dance lessons on the side that he paid with the money he got from his job, since his parents were paying for his Actual Studies.

Was that shrewd? Most definitely. Did he pride himself in it? You bet he did).

 

It bugged him though.

 

How come he'd never realised that Junhee was a musician? He hadn’t watched all his videos (like Donghun most definitely had), so he went and watched the older ones he’d missed but nope.

There was nothing there.

However, even though he found no music-related content, he noticed something interesting he hadn’t before Donghun became a Hot Glue (that was Jun’s fandom name, that Jun had embraced with much humour): Junhee talked a lot about his life in his videos but if you really paid attention, you’d realise that he wasn’t telling you much.

He was humouring you with anecdotes about his life, but you didn’t really know Park Junhee from all that trivia. You could write a book about his adventures, but you wouldn’t be able to build a solid character around them.

Who was Park Junhee?

Yuchan felt a tad silly for not noticing sooner that there had to be something else to that guy doing messy DIYs with his whole heart. He’d been too busy laughing at his mishaps and his goofy bounce backs to realise that he was more than the sweet meme guy from the DIYs. It was so obvious that he’d missed it just like most people who watched his videos did.

Junhee had gotten political lately and that should have made Yuchan notice at last that what he was doing there, constantly messing himself up with a smile on his face, was a way to effectively motivate people and tell them that it’s okay to fail over and over, so long as you don’t give up and believe that ‘it’ll be better next time for sure!’

 

 _Sure_ , he’d seen some people here and there on his twitter thanking him for inspiring them to try to pursue their dream (and get warm replies from Jun himself) but he’d never stopped to think that Jun himself could, perhaps, not be following his own dreams. That clip of him playing the guitar and singing in a hoarse voice showed him that being the DIY Master was definitely not Junhee’s goal and he was upset because he’d never noticed.

 

He rubbed his wet eyes on the brim of his duvet and sniffled before going on his twitter. There had to be something. Something that hinted at Jun’s connection with music and it took him one close look at his page to notice that they were mutuals.

Yuchan stared at the ‘follows you’ reminder for a moment, wondering when the mutual could have started. Now that hadn’t been very sharp of him. How could he have missed that for crying out loud!? The fries’ fumes were getting to his brain for sure. He was usually a lot more attentive.

Plus, he didn’t follow a lot of people on twitter, mostly his friends and other artists he liked for whatever reason, so he should have noticed the goddamn mutual. Anyway, it was useless to beat himself over that now. That kind of stuff happened to the best.

He looked at the people who followed him that he followed as well, and he noticed that naturally Donghun had followed him but then he noticed that Byeongkwan and Sehyoon followed him too.

 

Yuchan gasped as if everything suddenly had become clear in his mind.

 

Only that it hadn’t, and he needed to think about it and investigate it properly.

 

 _Okay,_ so he was mutuals with Byeongkwan and Sehyoon too. There was another link between him and Junhee aside from Donghun who’d become his self-appointed nurse for the time being.

Now, Yuchan wanted to get to the bottom of it, really understand what was going on, but from what Donghun had told him, Junhee didn’t want the news of how ill he was to get out so he had to find a way to ask Byeongkwan how close he was with Junhee. Byeongkwan was his best chance. He’d become good friends with him and had promised to collab with at some point (with him and Sehyoon too, naturally, the more the merrier, eh?).

He had a hunch that Byeongkwan and Junhee were actually pretty close because that explained why Byeongkwan had called him to ask him about Donghun’s chaotic gay behaviour (Yuchan still didn’t know how he’d been so quick to lie to his face and say it’d been him while freaking out and losing his shit at the same time. Truly a man of many talents). From what Donghun had told him, it seemed like it was his Lucky Crush, because, taking what he’d told him on the phone into account, it was highly likely that Junhee also had a light crush on him.

 

Okay.

 

It was all making sense. He just had to toughen up and start digging.

 

Yuchan huffed and licked his lips before pursing them and staring at Byeongkwan’s twitter profile page.

 

How could he ask him about Junhee without sounding suspicious?

 

Byeongkwan knew he was friends with Donghun and he was also not a dimwit, he’d suspect something immediately if he asked him directly. Maybe he could send him one of Junhee’s latest videos and say it was really funny as a way of starting a conversation and hopefully getting him to come clean about how much he knew about Park Junhee.

 

Which one though? Not the one with Donghun, that’s for sure. Too dangerous.

 

Maybe he could send him the second take on the cute DIY lamps, which hadn’t been as disastrous as the first attempt but had been a riot all the same because he got actual tealights, as in _wax_ ones, instead of _led_ tealights, thinking it’d be the same. It’d ended up with the wax dripping into the jars, obviously, and it being an overall mess. There had been a jumpcut into a different day where he got actual tealights but ended up being unable to do it anyway because he dropped the only jar he had left, and it shattered sadly at his feet. Then he’d just grabbed the led tealights and put them on his useless shelf along with the fairy lights and said that it looked like he was trying to summon a cute demon while chuckling like a fool.

Yeah, that one was chill and recent, it’d be that one.

He could be casual and say something random and wait for Byeongkwan’s reply. Byeongkwan was his cutest hyung but he was also very smart, so he had to be careful with his words and questions. He usually replied late at night or in the early morning, so he could send the texts right at that moment and wait while thinking about his next cover.

 

**Kwannie hyung**

[Link Sent]

‘DIY cute lamps!’

[Junhee was smiling in the thumbnail and holding a jar with a wax tealight inside]

I want to try making this, I think it’d give a warm glow to my room!

Been feeling like it’s kind of dull lately :’<

He’s so funny tho!

Wax tealights!

6:12pm

 

 _Well,_ that looked inconspicuous, didn’t it? He often texted Byeongkwan songs and things he found funny because he knew he appreciated both good music and good joke. This wasn’t really a joke, but it was close, so he probably wouldn’t suspect anything.

 

Now he just had to sit back and wait.

 

Yuchan yawned and snuggled further under the covers looking at his homepage realising that Donghun had posted a cover he didn’t know about not two days earlier.

He raised an eyebrow at it.

It didn’t have a proper thumbnail. It was one of auto-generated ones. It was just him in front of the microphone looking at the camera while in the middle of the song.

Yuchan clicked the video ‘EXO’s Sing for You (Lee Donghun Acoustic Cover)’ and noticed right away that it had a story.

For starters Donghun was completely barefaced and the dark circles under his eyes indicated how tired he was. He was wearing a white sweater (that Yuchan knew he used to sleep!) and his hair was a mess. Not looking flawless was already giving away the fact that something was _definitely_ off and when he started by saying,

 _“Hello, Hunnies. I’m singing this song for a special person who, who motivates me a lot. It didn’t mean this much to me before and now”_ he paused and there was no jumpcut as he shook his head _“well, it’s a song I’m singing especially for a person I really admire and, yeah”_ he looked at the camera and pursed his lips in a tiny smile attempt _“that’s it. I hope you enjoy it.”_

Yuchan was 100% sure it was a song for Park Junhee and from the first note Yuchan just felt it and his heart raced.

 

It was raw, Yuchan felt.

 

_Truly felt._

His eyes widened, and he felt chills all over at the raw emotions in Donghun’s voice. Donghun had never made him tear up like that before and he had a pretty emotional voice. He was really feeling those lyrics and that song and looking at the day he’d posted it, Yuchan knew that it had something to do with Park Junhee, he just knew it. There was little to no edition to the audio or the video overall and he noticed that the feedback had been overwhelmingly positive. That was currently his most popular video and the top comments were all about people who like himself had teared up at the raw emotions.

Some wondered if Donghun was in love ( _boy,_ if he wasn’t, he was one step away from it. He was usually so careful with the way he presented himself while performing and yet there he was, in his sleeping sweater, looking like a hot mess and singing with his whole chest, like his life depended on it).

It was funny, in a way that made Yuchan rub his wet eyes on the duvet, how well that song fit Donghun’s voice and his confused feelings for Junhee. From the way he was singing, it really felt like each and every lyric of that song meant something to him.

 

“Such a soft and silly hyung” he muttered with a chuckle against his bed covers as he typed out soulmate-themed Korean songs on Naver to see what came up. He could think of a song for himself after that.

“I cannot believe we do not have a single soft soulmate-themed song that isn’t sad” Yuchan complained “or maybe I’m just… aish… they could just cover Sing for You together!” He said to nobody in particular before huffing and raking his brain for a song for him to sing before ‘Take me to Church’ popped in his mind and he decided it was high time he covered it.

It was different from his usual style and he felt like he was in the right mood for it. It was a matter of practicing it a couple times and getting the lyrics somewhere he could look at them.

* * *

 

 

 

As Yuchan had predicted, Byeongkwan only replied when it was past 10pm.

**Kwannie Hyung**

 

Hahaha make sure to use the led tealights!

10:27pm

This man I swear, he drives me mad!

One day he’ll get seriously hurt

And idk who’ll be there for him

Hopefully sehyoonie and I will be out already

Ugh, sorry, Yuchan ah, it’s been a long day :<

10:28pm

 

Yuchan actually grinned at his phone. He wasn’t happy that Byeongkwan had had a bad day, _obviously_ , but he was clearly in the mood for ranting and that was the perfect gateway to get him to start babbling about his relationship with Junhee. In fact, he’d already started doing that. It was also obvious that Junhee hadn’t told him about his injury, as Yuchan had predicted.

 

Ah… I’m sorry to read that, hyungie ;w;

I hope u and Sehyoon hyung get a good nights sleep! <3

10:28pm

I also hope Park Junhee doesn’t get hurt…

I’m sorry to ask this when ur tired

But are u close with him??

U sounded like u are…

10:29pm

Byeongkwan didn’t reply immediately and Yuchan felt his heart race thinking he’d been busted.

 

Sorry, I was replying to sehyoonie

It’s a pain that we’re not in the same dorms

10:34pm

Homophobes! >:(

10:34pm

Lol tell me about it

10:35pm

And yeah, replying to what u asked

We’re close

But not bc of his dangerous diys

Aish… idk if I should be telling u this

But ur good with secrets

10:36pm

 

Yuchan’s heart raced again and he felt like the truth was about to be revealed.

 

Junhee hyung is actually a top-notch musician!

Like, really damn good!

More well-versed than any of us

He can play the guitar and the piano

He can sing like an angel

He can dance flawlessly

He’s basically a musical genius! >:(

And before u ask, I met him when I met sehyoonie

During our failed casting attempts

10:37pm

Sorry im ranting, im feeling really annoyed tonight!

And seeing this video and talk

*talking about Junhee hyung

Is making me feel more upset!

10:38pm

 

Yuchan just watched the messages pour into his phone like water. He’d barely had to ask. Something out there really seemed to be conspiring in everyone’s favour.

 

… Im speechless, hyung

I had no idea

10:39pm

 

 _Okay,_ he was lying but it was for a good cause. He’d been forging fake doctor papers earlier, what do you want from him? He was just trying to help his brothers out!

 

Yeah, well, it’s hard to tell

When he goofs himself like that!

And never even mentions music

But lol he’s making loads of money

So maybe he made the right decision

10:40pm

I just don’t like to see him getting hurt all the time

Anyway, sorry for ranting :’<

How are u, Yuchannie?

10:41pm

No, hyung, it’s fine!

U can rant all u like, really!

Im alright, thank you <3

10:41pm

 

He wanted to find a way to ask him about what Junhee thought of Donghun but he didn’t even have to do that because Byeongkwan was truly on full rant about Junhee mode now. What a wonderful thing, eh?

 

Lol I shouldn’t even be telling u this

Bc ur his friend

But again, I trust u and I’ll ask u

Even tho he’s your friend

This stays between us, okay?

10:42pm

 

Yuchan’s heart raced but his fingers didn’t waver. His acting skills were award-winning that night.

 

Um, okay?

Im sorry hyung

But that’s not making sense

Who’s my friend?

And of course I’ll keep the secret!

10:42pm

No matter what it is!

10:43pm

Aish… sorry, im not thinking clearly

I mean Lee Donghun

He’s your friend

10:43pm

And Junhee hyung has a thing for him

For his voice and dancing, he says

And Im sure he means it

But it’s a really big thing he has!

10:44pm

he’s been raving about him for literal years

if he’s not in love with the man

he’s definitely in love with the artist

and that coming from Junhee hyung

is really something!

10:45pm

You haven’t seen him sing or play or do anything

So u can’t know

But trust me

He’s outstandingly talented!

10:45pm

 

Yuchan had seen a glimpse of it, but he’d obviously not tell him that because that would mean telling him the whole story and consequently worrying him, now that he knew they were good friends and went a long way back. Donghun would know about how Junhee had been his fan for years though. Oh yes, he would. Yuchan would break the promise just this once.

 _Again,_ for a greater good.

 

… I don’t know what to say

Again, I could have nevr imagined

Im barely able to process that Park Junhee is a musician

Let alone a dancer!

10:47pm

 

That bit was true.

And he’s Donghun hyung’s fan???

I just…

I don’t know what to say

But don’t worry

I wont tell him!

10:48pm

He probably wouldn’t think much of it anyway…

10:48pm

Well, I guess u can tell him he’s his fan

Just don’t

Don’t tell him he’s a musician, I guess?

That hyung has been hiding it for whatever reason

10:49pm

 

Well, it turned out that Yuchan wouldn’t have to break any promises in the end. He also knew why he was hiding. It was implied in Donghun’s messy rant earlier. He could tell Byeongkwan that disguised as a theory (he had a knack for getting theories right, so it wouldn’t be weird).

 

Hmm…

Idk it’s really weird to me

And im still shocked at all this info u just told me

But idk maybe Park Junhee hyung

Hm, maybe he doesn’t feel like yt is a real attempt at music?

10:50pm

 

Byeongkwan took his sweet time to reply again but Yuchan waited with bated breath.

 

That actually sounds a lot like him actually!

I do know for a fact that he practices

Every single day

Into late in the night

To then go and film his messy videos

While high on caffeine and giggling like a fool

As he gets hurt repeatedly!

10:51pm

It’s equal parts lack of diy skills and tiredness

I think

10:52pm

 

 _Ah_ , Yuchan thought, _mystery solved_. That’s why he was so tired. The rest made sense, too. He’d make sure to show that whole convo to Donghun (he wouldn’t be revealing any secrets, since Junhee had told Donghun himself that he was a musician).

 

Now im sad :’(

He’s such a positive person

And he makes so many ppl happy

And inspires so many ppl too!

10:53pm

But maybe he’s not that happy…

10:53pm

Nah, I knew u’d think that ;)

But that’s not it

He likes the dumb diy/lifestyle stuff

He really likes to motivate ppl!

And the positivity is completely real, too

He’s a joyful crackhead lol

Also very sweet!

If ur crying, he’ll cry too and try to stop your tears right away

That’s the kind of person he is

10:54pm

Im just mad that he’s hiding his music! >:(

When he’s already served

he could be trying to get the recognition

He damn well deserves!

10:55pm

But he’s out there god knows how

With his horrible diys

Cutting his hands and setting shit on fire

Ughh

10:56pm

:’/ at least he’s not faking anything

But I feel

Now im dying to hear him sing and play!

And dance??

Like damn, he does everything  !

10:56pm

You bet he does!

Maybe one day I’ll bug him enough to do that

Or lol Lee Donghun himself could get him to do it!

Fuck it if yt isn’t a real attempt!

It’s what we have

10:57pm

And it’s got to work for the time being! >:(

10:58pm

Word, hyung, I agree!

Not sure if donghun hyung could do that

He’s kind of shy dfhsdkjfh

How would he even approach him??

10:58pm

I listened to his last cover yesterday

He sang Sing for You

That’s one of Junhee hyung’s favourite songs

10:59pm

 

Yuchan was right to think that Byeongkwan was quick to pick up on stuff.

 

Oh, really??

Well… I kind of forced them into being mutuals sjgkhfdgkjfdh

Donghun hyungie didn’t unfollow him!

Maybe Junhee hyung could try to talk to him??

11:00pm

Byeongkwan took some time to reply again.

 

Well, maybe I could call him…

And convince him to do that…… hopefully.

And finally understand what the fuck he likes

Bc I’ve known this man for over three years

And still don’t know which way he swings!

11:01pm

 

 _Well,_ in Yuchan humble and uninformed opinion, he’d say that Junhee wasn’t straight. He snorted at the texts waiting for whatever Byeongkwan was typing.

 

He’s accepting and supportive for sure

But I can’t know

I saw his last video where he got drunk with someone or sth

but my earphones are kind of shit

And I can’t get new ones

11:02pm

Good to know he’s got company when he’s ill

It was a man from what I gathered

11:03pm

 

Yuchan snickered.

Oh yea! I saw that one too jkdshkjfhg

Well, I dont wanna be throwing theories around

But I’d say that Junhee hyung isn’t straight

And neither was whoever he got there with him fgkjfd

11:04pm

Hyung, did u hear the ‘special hyung’ bit?

11:05pm

………

No, I missed that

Oh god

Who said that??

11:05pm

Park Junhee hyung did sfghkjf

And the other man asked

If he’d like him to be his special hyung

And he said

‘who knows?’

11:06pm

Now it’s my turn to be shook! :O

At least im not annoyed anymore

I’ll definitely call that sleazy hyung!

I cant believe he didn’t tell ME and SEHYOONIE!

Of ALL people!

11:07pm

Okay, Yuchannie, I’ll call Junhee hyung and then sleep

Gotta be up early

U know the drill

Thanks for the chat you’re really a mood-booster! <3

11:08pm

Djkhfjhgkdf im glad ur not annoyed anymore!

Okay!

Goodnight hyung <3

(if it’s not too much to ask…. Pls tell how that convo went sdjkhkgjf)

11:09pm

Pls, of course I’ll tell u!

We’re partners now

We’ll get to the bottom of this!

11:10pm

I just want to know who this guy he’s with is

Then I’ll get back to u!

11:11pm

Thank u, hyungie! uwu I wish that it all goes well!!

And It’s 11:11

I hope this wish comes true!

11:11pm

* * *

 


	8. Samgyetang and Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhee is cornered and does something that almost makes Donghun's soul escape his body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again, it's the same day as the previous chapter lol whaddup!
> 
> so yeah, the summary is pretty summarising. and this chapter comes in sequence to the previous one, overlapping in time at the beginning, until Yuchan and Byeongkwan contact Donghun and Jun, respectively. before u ask, i know I could have generated the texts but I felt like it'd look like an even bigger mess to put the images in the the text, so basically the screenshots are just the byeongchan convo from the previous chapter. yep. ah, and as usual, im sorry about the typos /weeps
> 
> welp, i really hope u like this or sth, tell me things. im so uncertain about it. im gonna go and hide now. bye bye! /flees

* * *

 

Donghun hadn’t been sure about his Samgyetang because he didn’t make it often. The notebook with the recipes his mum had written for him was obviously in his flat because he’d been an idiot and forgotten to bring it along. So, he’d ended up calling his mum to ask her for the recipe and she’d been happy to know he was eating well and helping ‘his friend’ get better.

Junhee was obviously asleep again when he finally finished cooking and brought the food to the living room on a tray he’d found tucked away in one of the cupboards. He’d be eating it too. Like his mum said, ‘you may not be ill, but if you’re helping an ill friend, you may get ill too, so you better prevent it!’

“Junhee ya” he called softly after putting the tray on the ruddy coffee table (he seriously hated the thing and wanted it gone even though it was none of his business) “wake up. Food’s ready.”

Junhee didn’t wake up so he touched his forehead with the back of his hand to check for fever. His temperature felt normal. Donghun sighed and caressed his hair softly.

“Junhee ya” he called again “you gotta eat, dork. Otherwise you can’t take your meds.”

Junhee groaned and Donghun saw him shift a little, part his lips and bring a hand up to his eyepatches. Donghun grabbed his small hand softly noticing that in his sleepy haze he was going to pull them off.

“Don’t do that. The lights are too strong.” He said and Junhee hummed, pursing his lips before smiling a bit.

“Oh, hyung… I forgot that…” his voice was still rather hoarse, but it sounded a bit better, despite the grogginess of sleep. He scrunched his nose and brought the hand Donghun had let go of to his own forehead “the pain is… ah… damn… sorry.”

“Apologise to yourself, you fool.” Donghun complained and clicked his tongue. Why was he always apologising to him!? He’d done the goddamn damage to himself, not to him “Now sit up and eat. I, uh, I made some Samgyetang… not sure if you like it but it’s good for when you’re ill. It doesn’t taste as nice as my mum’s, but I got her help to make it” he snorted as Junhee sat up. Donghun put his own bowls of food aside and put the tray with food on Junhee’s lap after warning him that he’d do that.

“I like Samgyetang!” Junhee said with a big smile “My mum used to make it too. What’s on the tray?”

“Uh, cup of tea on the top left, bowl of rice on the right side and Samgyetang on the left” Donhun quickly enumerated as Junhee hovered his hand over the places he pointed out for him and hummed “chopsticks to the right of the rice.” He said and Junhee smiled and felt carefully for them before grabbing them.

“Thank you, hyung.”

“No prob.” Donghun said sitting on the floor beside the coffee table to eat his own dinner “Tell me if you don’t like it… don’t pretend it’s good, if it makes you feel sick.”

“I’ll eat well!” Junhee said and smiled after already having grabbed the bowl of Samgyetang and was digging in as if Donghun was Gordon Ramsay and his food was always flawless no matter what.

“Is it good?” Donghun asked after a mouthful of his own food. It tasted alright to him but, you know, people have different taste buds and Junhee was ill.

“It’s delicious! It may not, ah, sorry” he chuckled as he dropped some food into the bowl and it splashed a bit, hitting his face. He wiped it with his sleeve “not taste like your mum’s, but it tastes like mine’s!”

Donghun chortled.

“Really?”

“Yeah! It’s amazing! I love it and it’s really, really smooth on my throat.” He sighed “You’re really godsend, hyungie!”

Donghun snorted and kept eating, feeling his face eat up a tad.

 

(Well, saying your food tastes like someone’s mum’s in that tone sure is a great compliment, right?)

 

They didn’t talk much as they ate and when they were both done, Donghun collected the dishes and took them to the kitchen, where he washed them and put aside before returning with a glass of water to give Junhee his meds.

 

“Your palm, baby” he called him baby again and mentally punched himself “uh, well, you said it fine so, uh, time for the meds.” Donghun said quietly seeing Junhee waiting for him with a cute little smile. _The baby_ promptly opened the palm of his small hand (Donghun seriously couldn’t handle how cute and small Junhee’s hands were) and let him put the pills there before accepting the glass of water and downing the meds all in one go.

“Thank you, hyung.” Junhee said with a smile passing him the glass again.

“No prob.”

 

Donghun sat on the dreadful coffee table again and looked at him, waiting for a reaction since he didn’t know what to say after calling him baby again.

 

“Is it weird that I can tell you’re looking at me?” Junhee asked in a small raspy voice and Donghun snorted, shaking his head.

 

“Nah, it’s not. You’re Daredevil now, remember?” He joked and Junhee chortled “No, for real now. We can usually tell, if someone’s looking at us. I don’t know why though.” He mused “Maybe the eyes really have some sort of connection with the soul.”

 

“Oh…” Junhee said coyly “so you’re looking at me with your soul?”

 

Donghun scoffed as his cheeks flared up again.

 

“Are you always that weird?”

“You started it!” Junhee complained and Donghun sighed.

 

Well, he had a point.

 

“Alright, you feel like doing anything?”

Junhee leant back against his pillows again and pulled the covers up to his neck before humming.

 

“Tell me more about you.”

 

Donghun stared in silence.

 

“Aside from my name.”

 

“Aside from your name.” Junhee repeated “You’re not telling me, and I have no idea why but… at least other things.”

 

“Well…” Donghun sighed “I’m a Uni student and work at McDonald’s to pay the bills…” he said carefully “you already know that I work there though” he snorted and Junhee chuckled and nodded “yeah, uh, so I also have degree in IT that I got before enlisting… now I’m doing business management and, well, kind of not liking it.”

Junhee was silent for a moment before humming.

“Why don’t you drop it, then?” He asked quietly and Donghun was caught off guard and blinked at him “I mean…” Junhee continued “you already have a degree in IT, so why not drop out of that if you’re not liking it?”

 

He made it sound so simple that Donghun really felt it in his gut. Why was he wasting his damn time with a degree he didn’t want or need? If he hadn’t found a job in IT, it was even less likely that he’d find a job in business management. He didn’t have rich relatives with businesses he could manage. Originally, he’d thought that the degree would give him some tips on how to manage an eventual music career, but it did none of that. Not directly anyway. He’d learnt a couple important things, sure, but… he didn’t feel like studying that shit anymore.

 

“I may drop it” Donghun said with a snort “I’ve actually been thinking about that for a while, like… I can’t focus on it when my head is always somewhere else.”

Junhee hummed and smiled a little and sighed before changing the subject.

“Hyung, please dim the lights?” He requested “There’s a floor lamp on the corner and it’s not too strong… it should be enough for you to see and it… it should be okay on my eyes.” Donghun was already getting up and looking for the lamp. He found it and turned it on before turning off the ceiling lights. It was dim indeed and Junhee had been right about him being able to see.

 

“Done.”

 

“Thank you” Junhee said before pulling off the eyepatches and putting them over his chest. Donghun watched Junhee softly rub his eyes and then slowly open them and gasping softly. Donghun felt his heart race “it’s not as dark, I can… I can see some shadows…” he gulped and blinked a couple times before his grin widened “I can see something, something other than darkness!” He looked in Donghun’s direction and he felt like a deer caught in headlights “I know you’re here somewhere… but, but I can’t see you” he chuckled and blinked again looking at the ceiling again after eyeing the place where the lamp was “this is better than before though!” He said happily and Donghun sighed quietly before chuckling.

“Yeah, you’ll be able to see in no time, don’t worry.” He said.

 

“Do you want me to?” Junhee asked softly as he grabbed the eyepatches and put them back on “I don’t want to have my eyes open” he explained as he put them on “this way it feels like I’m not seeing because I don’t want to.” He smiled.

 

Donghun opened his mouth and furrowed his eyebrows but then Junhee was talking again and he didn’t get to reply immediately, which was good, because the anger he’d felt had subsided after he’d kept talking.

 

“Of course I want you to!” Donghun said letting how upset he was show in his tone “What kind of question is that!?”

“I’m sorry.” Junhee said gently and smiled “It’s just that you said you’d, you’d have to go once I could see you.”

 

Donghun stared at him not really understand what the hell he could mean with that. That was because he knew who he was and… and what? Why didn’t he just tell him who he was? He’d connected his voice to him as fast as anyone who knew him personally would and he’d cowardly shut that down.

 

Why had he done that?

 

Honestly? He had no fucking clue why he’d done that. Maybe he was just a massive idiot.

 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want you to, to get better quickly.” Donghun muttered and huffed “I’m just… once you can see me, you’ll know I’m not what you thought I was and… and, well… I don’t know what to tell you.”

 

Junhee remained silent as he spoke.

 

“Your voice is really similar to the voice of an artist I love.” Junhee said quietly in his hoarse ill voice “Is that the reason?”

 

Donghun snorted. Well, it was. Kind of.

 

“Kind of.” He said.

 

“Kind of.” Junhee repeated and sighed rolling to the side and lying sideways “I already know that, that you’re only helping me because you’re, you’re a good person and, well, I got extremely lucky last night.”

 

Donghun smiled a little.

 

“And maybe I wanted an excuse to skip work.” He joked and Junhee chortled heartily.

“Sure.” He said with a little smile “You’re just a good person and took pity on me.”

 

Donghun almost yelled that it wasn’t pity.

 

“It’s not pity, Park Junhee!” He complained “Listen, I don’t do things out of pity. Pity means, it means that you think you’re better than someone in life or something, and that wasn’t… well, at that moment, right now, yeah, I’m not blind and shit but… I don’t feel like I’m better in life than you are, not in general anyway. So, so don’t think this is pity, idiot! It’s not. It’s just, it’s just me helping someone who needs help I can offer. Aish…” He complained as he explained and Junhee’s face got pink and smiled a bit.

“I’m sorry… you explained it really well, hyung. I understand what you mean now… I guess I’d do what you’re doing to me as well… I like to help too.”

“I know you do.” Donghun said and saw Junhee look a bit surprised.

 

“You do?”

 

Oh _shit._ Right. He wasn’t supposed to be a fan.

 

Damn.

 

“Uh, I watched some of your videos… for the, for the editing earlier and, and yeah. It’s, it’s kind of obvious that you want to help.”

 

“Even though I’m awful at it.” Junhee chuckled.

 

“You’re awful at DIY” Donghun said “but not at helping.” He avowed firmly. _Hell_ , he’d been one of the people he’d helped “Don’t you read the comments? Lots of people feel motivated to do what they like because of you.”

 

“Did you feel motivated watching them or, or did you think I’m just a clown?”

 

_Insecurities._

_Okay, Park Junhee_. It was time for Donghun to try and give something back.

 

“I was definitely motivated” he promised and Junhee smiled which made Donghun smile too “you even made me make up my mind about my degree a while ago.”

 

Junhee opened his mouth in surprise.

 

“You’ll really drop it?”

 

“I will.” Donghun said simply “I will. It’s doing nothing for me and I’m wasting my time when I could be…” he didn’t finish his sentence which would probably end up with him backtracking and trying to avoid exposing himself as an artist when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked at the time and was shocked to see how late it was. How the fuck was it already past 11!? How long had he been in the kitchen!?

 

“Hang on, Junhee ya, my friend’s texting me.” He said and on that very moment, as if on cue and Donghun had the weird feeling that everything would be connected, he noticed Junhee’s phone buzzing beside him, where he’d left it on the coffee table. He looked at the screen and read ‘Kim Byeongkwan’.

 

His heart raced “And, and someone’s calling you… uh, it’s, it’s Kim Byeongkwan?”

 

“Oh…” Junhee said gulping “I’m not going to, I don’t want him to know I’m like this… _shit,_ I hope I can, I hope he doesn’t suspect anything. Please give me the phone, hyung.” Donghun pressed the pick up button for him.

 

“It’s connected.” He whispered and Junhee mouthed a thank you before greeting ‘Byeonkwannie!’.

Donghun took the chance to look at the texts he’d just gotten.

 

 

**My Baby Channie**

New Messages (11)

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11:13pm

Yes.

11:14pm

 

Donghun read through the screencaps Yuchan had taken of his conversation with _, yes,_ Kim Byeongkwan where it seemed like a mini-Junhee biography had been written.

A lot of stuff suddenly started making sense and he agreed that practicing so much and then sleeping too little was the reason why he was exhausted and kept messing up his DIYs. His mind was both in music and tired. Now it all made sense.

 

Donghun felt himself tear up when he read about Junhee being his fan _for years_.

 

He just couldn’t believe it.

 

Then the last part, about him reaching out to Junhee or vice-versa and getting him to start singing got him good and his stupid eyes became shameful waterfalls. He tried to wipe them with his sleeve.

 

Shit now im cryin

Like a fkn fool

11:17pm

I hope he doesn’t notice

Byeongkwan is on the phone with him rn

11:18pm

Tell me what theyre saying hyung!

Also don’t lie to me

Sing for you was for Park Junhee hyung!

>:(

11:19pm

Yea it was for him

I think that byeongkwan is trying to get him to tell him who I am

And complaining about his not posting music and stuff

11:19pm

He’s clutching his phone and trying not tell him

Im an idiot and didn’t tell him my name

11:20pm

 

Junhee was clearly being cornered by Byeongkwan.

 

Donghun could tell he was fretting and losing his excuses as Byeongkwan pressed him for information on his identity after clearly pressing him to consider posting musical content and reach out to Lee Donghun, because he’d sung his favourite song.

 

(Donghun was practically combusting hearing his name come out of Junhee’s mouth knowing he was talking about him and that he was his fan but didn’t know he was right there in front of him, panicking.

 

He deserved the stress, what he didn’t think he deserved though, was what was about to happen.)

 

Donghun almost dropped his phone when Junhee, in his panic after most definitely being asked if he was ‘doing things with strangers’ or something along those lines, told Kim Byeongkwan, over the phone, that he was his boyfriend. He, Lee Donghun, was his boyfriend. He told him that and gulped before falling silent for a long 3 seconds.

 

“Yes!” He said hoarsely into the phone “He’s, he’s my boyfriend, I’m… I’m really sorry I didn’t tell you before, uh… yes, I knew you were gay, yes but I… I wasn’t sure and I’ve never been in love like that… hadn’t! H-hadn’t! Now I, now I am!” He corrected the tense hastily and his whole face suddenly went bright red “Yes, I’m… I’m sure he’s my, my boyfriend. I wouldn’t have sex buddies, Byeongkwannie...” He said shyly and sniffling a little. Donghun was staring at what was happening before his eyes, speechless “I’ll, you’ll meet him when you and Sehyoon hyung are discharged… you’ll, you’ll like him for sure.” He said trying to put a smile in his voice despite his sudden stress “You’ll be surprised!” He said and gulped “I promise you’ll meet him, really. Yes, okay… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away… uh, two months… yeah, I’m sorry, Kwannie… I didn’t want to bother you with this… okay, maybe you wouldn’t be bothered but, uh, I wasn’t sure about it so… I didn’t want to, uh, be talking about someone, you know… that wasn’t for real…” his face got even redder “no!” he exclaimed suddenly and had a coughing fit “No… nothing wrong with it… we’re, we’re still adjusting and, and that’s why I don’t want to tell you his n-name, uh…” he trailed off before sighing deeply “Kwannie, my head hurts and I’ve got a cold… no, it’s fine, you’re right to be worried and upset, I’m just not in the best condition to be, to be talking. My meds are making me sleepy… okay, thank you for your call, Kwannie… no, don’t apologise, it’s fine, I get it” he tried to smile again “okay, I’ll text you to let you know how I’m doing… goodnight! Give Sehyoon hyung a big hug from me, okay?... Alright, thank you! Goodnight, bye-bye.” He left the phone in his ear and clearly waited for Byeongkwan to hang up. He sighed deeply when he did and put his phone beside his head.

 

Donghun’s heart was coming out of his chest and he stared for a solid three more seconds before remembering that he’d left Yuchan hanging.

 

**My Baby Channie**

 

Hyung

11:21pm

Hyung!

TALK TO ME

WHAT’S HAPPENING??

Oh god

What the hell can he be telling Park Junhee??

11:29pm

 

Uh…

Channie

So

Im literally wrecked

My heart is gonna explode

11:33pm

to avoid telling him that he ddonst knw my name

Park Junhee just told Byeongkwan that I’m his boyfriend

11:34pm

he wHAT?

11:35pm

* * *

 


	9. Unfair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling tangled in all the lies and concealed truths, Donghun decides to come clean about some things to make it easier on both of them to continue with the charade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, choice, my lovelies
> 
> this week it won't be a double update and not because i don't have more stuff written down but because it's very rough and very shaky. this was a really tough week for me and im kinda glad i wrote this down on tuesday before all hell broke loose. i was gonna try to edit the other stuff today but then more shit happened and im currently not feeling well enough to do that, so i'm apologising for this unusually short update (it's almost 5k words long but it's just the one chapter and not two as usual) and hoping that u like it anyway. im sorry about the typos and stuff.
> 
> i decided to take this route and idk how u'll feel about it but it was what made sense to me, you know, honesty. i love that shit. they're keeping the charade and all but some truths are revealed and there's a bunch of intimacy. that's what im unsure about. tell me things, i guess. i saw all the comments when i came here earlier but i can't reply right now bc im really not in the right mindset. just know that i read them and will reply to them as soon as i feel a bit better. thank you so much for the feedback. you're really motivating me and i can't thank you enough for that. bless all of you. (Update: i sort of pulled myself together and replied!! jfdgkjfhg)
> 
> see you next week (hopefully!). bye!

* * *

 

Never in his life had Donghun been tangled in such a tight web of lies. He remembered lying to his parents about a bad grade he’d had as a kid and hiding the test for months but that was it.

(It hadn’t even been that bad a grade, it was just below passing grade and he could solve it by having a passing grade in the next test. He was just embarrassed of failing.)

His experience with convoluted lies and purposefully concealing information from people was practically non-existent and he was tired. He needed to do something to get rid of some of the lies to 1) feel less like an idiot, 2) make Junhee stop looking like he was going to start crying again.

It was hard to be honest when your entire relationship with someone is based on hiding things (literally and metaphorically because, well, Junhee couldn’t see him so he was hidden but he was also hiding his identity and…

Anyway.)

That was the reason why he stared at Junhee in silence for more than he ought to after he panicked and lied to his friend through the phone, telling him that he, Lee Donghun, was his boyfriend of two months, when they’d met the previous night and he didn’t even know his name. Giving it a bit of thought, it wasn’t hard for Donghun to accept that it was all his fault. Like, it was, wasn’t it? It was all his damn fault. If he’d just told him who he was, if he’d just told him that he knew who he was, none of that would be happening, but Donghun couldn’t come completely clean now.

It was too late.

He didn’t know why he’d hidden the fact that he was Lee Donghun from Junhee but now it was too late to fix that. Junhee had already gone and in his high, ill panic, told his friend that the guy helping him was his boyfriend of two months or something.

(More like two days.

Or 24 hours.

 _What a fucking mess_.)

“Hyung… p-please say something…” Junhee pleaded after a while, gulping hard “I’m sorry, I, I didn’t know what to say to him and, and…”

Donghun really sensed that he was about to break down in tears again and kind of understood why. What he was feeling, he’d already felt with multiple guys. In completely different situations, sure, but the feelings were no doubt similar.

“It’s, it’s fine, Jun ah” Donghun managed “I was just… shit, I was just caught off guard I guess?” He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck “But from what you were saying, I mean… it makes sense… that you’d, you know, say something like that to, uh, defend your honour.”

Junhee’s lower lip trembled and breathed in heavily.

“And it doesn’t, it doesn’t gross you out?”

Donghun had to chortle heartily at that one.

 

(He, a raging gay who, in one of his most remarkable chaotic moments, had called Junhee ‘daddy’, being grossed out by something like that. He had to tell that one to Yuchan when he got the chance.)

 

“Why are you laughing?” Junhee asked in a small voice.

 

“Because, because I’m not at all grossed out by, by that. Like…” he paused and looked at Junhee “this is gonna be, shit…” and that’s when he huffed and decided to send it to hell “well, we’re already balls deep in this mess, so I might as well ask.” He scoffed “Are you straight?”

 

Junhee was silent for a moment before parting his lips and then closing them again before giving them a small lick and sighing with a light shrug.

 

“I… I don’t know… but I guess I’m not?” He said meekly “I mean… I’ve been with a girl before and it wasn’t bad… but…” he paused and gulped “I also find boys attractive, I think…”

 

 _“You think?”_ Donghun chuckled, emboldened by the adorable confusion and innocence in Junhee’s reply “Attractive in what way? Would you kiss a boy for example?” He saw Junhee’s already flushed face get even redder and smiled. He was a hopeless confused baby. Donghun was fighting off his urge to squish him.

 

“I don’t see a problem with, with doing that… if, if I really like him… I guess…”

 

That sounded like ‘not straight’ in Donghun’s book so he felt safe coming out.

 

“Well” Donghun sighed “I’m not straight either” he said and then added “but don’t worry, I’m harmless and do nothing without enthusiastic consent, so you’re 100% safe.” Donghun assured with a chuckle seeing his nervousness turn into a small coy smile “Was the bit about, uh, about how you’ve never been in love true though?”

 

Junhee sighed and pulled the duvet up to his ears. Donghun couldn’t handle how cute he was acting. He wanted to give him a big reassuring squeeze and tell him it’d be alright.

 

“It was…” he mumbled hoarsely “I had a girlfriend, the girl I mentioned, a while back and… I liked her a lot but, but I didn’t love her and we, we eventually split.” He said guiltily “Does that make sense?”

 

“It does, don’t worry.” Donghun chuckled “It’s fine to be confused about this stuff, alright? I get why you’d say that I was your boyfriend” he continued and sighed “your friend is gay, right?” Junhee nodded “And he was pressing you to tell him who I am.” Junhee nodded again “And you’re not a player despite some pics you might post, so you felt like, I don’t know, like defending your principles as a man or something.”

 

Junhee was silent.

 

“What pics?”

 

Donghun sighed and decided to further untangle some of the lies and hidden truths since they were currently both very much screwed.

 

“On Instragram.” He confessed with a snort “Ah, well, whatever. It’s clear by now that I’m not telling you who I am because you know who I am, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah…” Junhee mumbled.

 

“Here’s the thing” Donghun sighed deeply “I also knew who you were, from the moment you entered the restaurant.” He confessed at last and saw Junhee part his lips and pull the covers down a bit “yeah, I recognised your shirt from your videos.” And he went the extra mile because in for a penny in for the whole bloody pound “Which, by the way, I watched. All of them. I binged them all last week and, and” he hesitated in admitting that “cried like a motherfucker at 3am at how motivating it was to watch them.”

 

Junhee’s surprised look became a small smile.

 

“So… you were telling the truth about, about me motivating you.”

 

“I was. That was completely true.” Donghun chuckled lightly “Also…” he sighed deeply and tried to keep his cool “I also knew who Lee Donghun was. Kim Byeongkwan too and Kim Sehyoon. I know, I know their work well.” He said quietly and Junhee smiled.

 

“That makes me happy” he said “that you know my friends’ work and, and Lee Donghun’s as well.”

Donghun suddenly saw the chance and took it.

“I don’t think that Lee Donghun is better than any of them though” Donghun said with a huff “and definitely not better than you, for sure. He can’t even play instruments.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.” Junhee said stubbornly “His dancing and vocals are flawless!”

“Come on, man!” Donghun huffed and shook his head. Junhee was pig-headed beyond what he could have possibly ever imagined. The guy simply wouldn’t budge in his belief that Lee Donghun was the greatest when he was just fucking average (in his own opinion anyway).

 

And with that brief moment of openness and honesty, it was as if the fact that Junhee had just lied to his friend about the nature of his relationship with Donghun, whose name he didn’t know, didn’t matter at all.

It felt as if he’d just told him he’d eaten pizza for dinner instead of Samgyetang.

“That’s not fair!” Donghun complained “I didn’t hear you sing with your voice at 100% let alone dancing” he grumbled before sassing “unless wobbling against me counts as dancing.” He saw Junhee chuckle under the duvet.

“I thought you’d, you’d definitely be mad at me for lying and, and saying you’re my b-boyfriend” he smiled a little and his cheeks were still beet red “but you don’t sound upset at all.”

Donghun was upset with himself, not with Junhee but he wasn’t about to tell him that.

“And, and you even told me the truth and that, that you watched my videos… ah, now I’m embarrassed!” He hid his head with the duvet and Donghun chuckled.

“Why?”

“You saw all that mess…” Junhee replied with his voice muffled and Donghun snorted pulling the duvet off his flushed face “and my legs…”

“I also saw your naked ass earlier, what exactly are you embarrassed about?” Donghun scoffed and Junhee seemed a bit lost at the question “Are your meds kicking in?”

“Um… I think so… I feel numb and dizzy and, and the pain is gone… my body feels heavy…” he mumbled with a little pout “I’m sorry, hyungie…”

Donghun hummed and suddenly remembered something of major importance. Junhee hadn’t left that couch the whole day.

“Don’t you need to use the toilet? You been there all day.” Donghun asked softly and Junhee mumbled incoherently before nodding.

“It’ll be awkward if you’re there though…” He mumbled snuggling further onto the pillows. Donghun was having none of that. It was something that had to happen, awkward or not.

“Well, I guess we’re husbands now, more than used to extreme intimacy.” He stated and Junhee gasped “Now get up, we’re taking you to the toilet.”

“H-husbands?” Junhee giggled softly as he let Donghun manhandle him from under the duvet and onto his feet “That was fast.” He kept giggling as Donghun helped him walk to the toilet he had downstairs that he’d found earlier when he needed to use it “There was this show… what was it? Married at first sight?” He leant onto Donghun who snorted, already predicting the awful joke he was about to tell “We’re married with no sight… at least from my, from me… I can’t see you.”

“You don’t have to.” He turned on the light to the smaller toilet “Just, you know, piss while sitting… been there, done that, nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I do that all the time like, who pisses while standing before, before sitting down to shit?” Junhee mumbled with a chuckle and Donghun snorted “That’s, that’s dumb and dangerous! What if you can’t control the backside?” Donghun laughed at that one and turned around after letting Junhee stand in front of the toilet “Go on. My back is turned.” He said and heard Junhee pull down his sweatpants to sit on the toilet.

“It’s so weird” Junhee mumbled “I’m glad I can’t see you.”

“If you could see me, I didn’t have to be here, did I?” Donghun sassed “Don’t be shy, babe. I got a brother and cousins, I’m more than used to sharing a toilet and being walked in on and continuing with my business.”

Junhee chuckled.

“I only have sisters, so, so I guess it’s not the same…”

“Ah, fair enough.”

It wasn’t weird for Donghun really and after the initial shyness, it was clear that Junhee was too far gone in the effects of his meds to care much about it. Donghun heard him flush and bin the toilet paper before standing up and pulling his pants up. Donghun pulled him over to the sink so that he could wash his hands and his teeth too.

“Ah, hyung… I got some, uh, some unused toothbrushes in the cupboard upstairs if you, if you want to use them. You can also like, use my shower and my stuff, pretend that this is your house.” He smiled as he brushed his teeth and Donghun chuckled.

“Okay, thanks.”

“You can, you can also borrow my clothes, if you want.”

“Yeah, I reckon I’ll take that too… since I don’t see the point in going over to my flat, since this will last for, what? Two more days? I can just, like, wash everything or something.” Donghun said casually as he watched Junhee slowly yet diligently brush his teeth with his unsteady hand almost dropping the brush twice “Need help with that? Your hand is losing strength, isn’t it? It’s the side effects.” He clicked his tongue and took the toothbrush from Junhee’s hand and helped him finish the task. Donghun held his nape gently and carefully brushed his teeth for him as Junhee gripped loosely onto the fabric of his shirt over his chest.

 

Donghun found himself blushing dumbly and saw that Junhee’s cheeks were also tinted with pink. That felt weirdly intimate for some reason. Junhee smiled coyly when he finished.

 

“Alright, they’re good.” Donghun said washing the toothbrush and passing Junhee a glass of water before passing him a shot of mouthwash “Now bed.”

 

He’d already grabbed the duvet before taking him there for that weirdly intimate experience in the toilet, so it was just a question of dragging Junhee upstairs and to his bed.

The task was successfully finished and he helped Junhee lie down and covered him not only with the duvet but also with a thermic sheet and a blanket.

 

“Hyung…” Junhee called softly “I won’t, I won’t ask you to sleep with me but, but I just remembered that there’s a mattress under my bed and the, uh, the bed linen and stuff are in the office’s cabinet… you can, uh, sleep here, please?”

Donghun had actually been, thinking of a way to be with him during the night without having to go too far (as in sharing the bed, yes, that was going too damn far) so that sounded terrific. He didn’t want him to need something during the night and suddenly get up and fall or something worse.

“Sounds fine by me. I’ll get that ready and then I’ll, uh, take a shower and borrow your stuff.”

“Okay” Junhee smiled softly “I’ll try to stay awake for you, hyung.”

“Don’t force yourself, Junhee ya, if you feel like sleeping, sleep.” Donghun said getting some clothes from Junhee’s drawers.

 

(Yeah, Junhee couldn’t see him but he didn’t want to turn up stark naked in front of him anyway.

 

Sue him.)

 

He used the toilet too and while at it he decided to resume his conversation with Yuchan.

 

**My Baby Channie**

New Messages (5)

 

HYUNG, TALK TO ME

11:36pm

Okay, ur probably sorting things out with him rn

I cant believe that happened

Kwannie hyung just texted me and confirmed

Im so sorry

11:39pm

Ur right, we were sorting it out

And its all good

11:51pm

We talked it out

It made sense, u know?

Byeongkwan was really pushy

And suggested that Junhee was sleeping around

And this guy isnt like that

11:52pm

U wouldnt believe how much he blushed

It was cute

Then I kind of like

The lies were getting to me

So I told him I was a fan of his channel

And that I knew who byeongkwan and sehyoon are

And yea

He liked that

Still havent told him who I am tho

11:53pm

Im a coward lol

11:53pm

I feel like ive entered another dimension

So like

It wasn’t awkward that he said u were boyfriends?

11:53pm

I didnt say that

He thought id be grossed out lmao

It was awkwad but I kind of

Idk I thought that getting rid of some of the lies would help

And it did lol

I did sth right for once

11:54pm

Junhee hyung is so pure tho ;w;

I cant handle the duality ghkjfhgkfd

So what happened afterwards??

11:55pm

 

Donghun put the phone down and flushed before starting to strip. He put his clothes on a pile beside Junhee’s laundry basket. He’d wash all that stuff the next day, maybe. During one of Junhee’s naps. Yeah. He’d do that.

 

I helped him get to the toilet

Made husbands jokes

Then I brushed his teeth

His meds mess up his strength

He was taking forever

That was weird

11:58pm

......

Ur really a mad lad

Ur pretty bold for someone who calls himself a coward lmao

Well, I bet

I mean, helping someone in the toilet

That’s really sth for husbands fhdjkhfjshg

Overly intimate intimacy

I can’t!

11:59pm

Not that bit

That was regular stuff

I have a brother and cousins rmbr?

Nothing weird about that

Brushing his teeth was what was weird

12:00pm

Idk why

But he felt it too

His face was red too

12:01pm

Hmmm, I see

I guess it makes sense tbh

Since u were probably like

Holding his nape and shoving sth in his mouth

Jkfdhgkjdfhgkjdf

12:02pm

 

Donghun almost choked with that one.

_He was right_.

 

That’s what had happened.

 

He had indeed held his nape and shoved the toothbrush in his mouth. Maybe his surface reasoning hadn’t picked up on how suggestive that was, but his deep reasoning had connected that innocent activity to another that was not as innocent.

 

He needed a cold shower.

 

 

That’s definitely not what I needed

Fkn hell

Okay, genius boy

Im gonna take a shower and then sleep

Thanks for covering for me

I’ll call in sick in the morning to back up the story

12:03pm

Jhfkgjfhkjdf sorry hyung!

I was just reasoning for u!

Okay!

And no prob!

I gotchu covered uwu

Goodnight <3

12:04pm

Goodnight, baby

Ily -3-

12:04pm

Ily u too, hyung <3

12:05pm

 

* * *

 

Then Donghun put the phone on the closed lid of the toilet and hopped in the shower. He let the cold jet hit him full force and bit off a yelp at the temperature but then it warmed up and by then the steam had vanished and sighed as he used Junhee’s stuff to shower.

He couldn’t believe how whacky that day had been, how much had happened, how he’d become Junhee’s fake boyfriend before suddenly being promoted ( _definitely_ promoted, _yes_ ) to his husband and levelling up the intimacy game before engaging in a weirdly sexual activity with a toothbrush.

The shower was over before he could mull over all his thoughts and he didn’t want to be there wasting water and gas. He turned off the water, got out dripping wet and dripped all over the floor because he’d forgotten to get a towel from the cupboard.

“Shit” he cussed under his breath as he dried his body and hair and then dropped the towel in the basket. He needed a mop or something, he thought, before grabbing the towel he’d just used to wipe the water off the floor. It’d be washed anyway so whatever. He brushed his teeth with one of the unused brushes Junhee had told him about and used his skincare products to clean his skin.

Then he got in Junhee’s loose sweater and sweatpants (he decided to go commando because he decided it was kind of weird to use his underwear and he didn’t mind going commando anyway) and walked back into his bedroom after getting his phone and turning off the lights.

“Hyung…” Junhee mumbled from the bed where he was curled up under the covers. There was a smile in his small, sleepy voice.

“You’re still awake.” Donghun said quietly walking over to the makeshift bed on the floor beside Junhee’s bed.

“I wanted to be…” he slurred clearly battling with sleep as Donghun lied down and pulled the covers over himself “to thank you again for, for being here with me…”

“That’s what husbands do _, honey_.” Donghun joked quietly and chuckled hearing Junhee chuckle back.

“I’m glad you weren’t mad at that… I thought, I really thought you’d leave after that…” He mumbled and Donghun sighed.

“Well, I didn’t.” He declared “Want me to play you Lee Donghun?” He asked a bit reluctantly “You said you liked to listen him to fall asleep.”

“Oh… that’s, yes, I would… has he, um, has he posted anything new?”

Donghun fell quiet for a moment as he tapped the youtube app and typed ‘Exo Unfair Karaoke’ trying to be as stealthy as possible.

 

(He’d been thinking about that song the whole day.)

 

Was it wild to sing live for him when in the same room as him? Yes. Did he care? Probably, his heart was racing like mad. Did he want to do it anyway? You bet he did.

“Yeah… seems like he’s on an Exo Winter Albums streak… do you like ‘Unfair’?”

“Oh” Junhee’s smile was clear in his voice. The lamp on his nightstand was on. Donghun sat up and very slowly dragged himself off the mattress to lean against the wardrobe “I do, actually. Their winter albums are really good, I mean… their music is good in general, but the winter albums are especially so to me.” He slurred softly and yawned “Can you please play it for me, hyung?”

“Yeah.” Donghun said and closed his eyes for a moment before sighing deeply and gulping, hoping that his voice would come out clear.

 

Surprisingly enough, it did. He felt it waver a little here and there because he wasn’t as used to Unfair as he’d been to Sing for You but overall it was pretty solid and again, another song he’d just filled with meaning because of the man lying in bed across him.

 

He finished singing and looked at Junhee thinking that he’d fallen asleep but then he saw him smiling.

 

“Wow… maybe I’m, I’m really being affected by those meds but, but it felt so close… as if he was right here singing for me.”

 

Donghun thanked the meds for making him doubt his very solid suspicions.

 

“It’s my phone.” Donghun chuckled dragging himself back to the mattress and lying under the covers again “The quality is really clean.”

 

“I’m happy” Junhee smiled and Donghun saw a small hand poke from under the covers. He felt like it was a request to have it held and slowly reached his own. Junhee held it loosely and Donghun gripped it back. Junhee’s smile grew fonder “thank you, hyung. For being here, for, for everything.” He sniffled a little “You’re taking care of me as if, as if… as if I’m really your friend. Anyone, anyone who’s got you as their friend, is lucky.”

 

Donghun held his hand in silence before caressing it softly and snorting a little.

 

“You kind of made us boyfriends earlier so, uh, we can be friends, if you want.” He said and Junhee chuckled lightly.

 

“You’re still not telling me your name.”

 

“I might tell you soon.”

 

“If you don’t, I’ll just end up seeing you and, and I’ll recognise you.”

 

Donghun snorted and sighed.

“You most definitely will, as much as it still baffles me.” He said softly and slowly let go of Junhee’s hand, who retracted it to under his covers again “I’m turning off the light.”

“The lights are all off to me right now.” Junhee joked and Donghun scoffed.

“Awful ass jokes, I can’t with you.”

“You still laughed a little” Junhee said giddily “goodnight, hyungie.”

“Goodnight, baby.” Donghun said softly not caring about the pet name. It didn’t matter anymore. Three is the charm, eh?

He waited for Junhee to be asleep for real before slowly and silently sneaking out of the bedroom and into his mini-studio.

Well, what? He had to record the song, didn’t he?

Then he remembered that Byeongkwan most definitely knew what his studio looked like and thought of something to disguise his location. Junhee’s microphone was better than his but lots of microphones were similar so that was alright since Junhee hadn’t personalised it any way. Donghun got a sheet from the cabinet in the office and looked for tape and took it all to the studio. He then carefully moved the microphone near a wall where he could tape the sheet to the wall and so he did.

He looked at it and was happy with his work. It looked inconspicuous. It was a plain white sheet and the microphone was generic despite being good quality. Junhee also had a camera up there and Donghun was curious about what he was recording with it, sure but that was too much. He’d wait for him to show him stuff of his own accord. He wouldn’t go snooping in his artwork without his consent (even though he was borrowing his recording equipment but that was a whole different story). He turned on the computer Junhee had there (the password was the same, thankfully) but that seemed like a computer he used purely to work because both the lock screen and the home screen was generic Apple stuff. He turned the recording programme on after finding out how it worked. It began recording right away after he turned on the microphone. He turned on the lights and the camera and positioned himself behind the microphone with Junhee’s fancy Marshall headset connected to his phone so that he could have the guide audio and the lyrics. Junhee even had a score stand and it was truly amazing how stupid Donghun was that he’d never thought of getting one and had instead been memorising lyrics over and over when he could have just had one of those beside his camera to make his life easier.

Once again, the video started off differently.

 

“Hello, Hunnies. As you may notice, I’m not in my bedroom today, I’m at a friend’s place and, uh, he’s sleeping right now.” He paused and sighed a little before smiling just a little “This will be kind of a surprise for him, I guess and I think he won’t mind me using his equipment when this song is for him…” he paused again thinking about the pronoun usage and thinking that he’d have to cut it “cut here” he said bitterly “Hello Hunnies. I’m not in my bedroom today as you can tell. I’m at a special friend’s place and, uh, my friend is sleeping right now.” He paused and smiled a little again thinking about how he was having to record that intro twice because he didn’t want his mum and the internet assholes to know he was gay “This will be a surprise, kind of gift, for my friend, I guess and I believe that my friend won’t mind me using this stuff here. And I hope that you enjoy it too even though this is for my friend. I’ll be singing ‘Unfair’ by Exo. Yes, I guess I’m on an Exo Winter Albums mood.” He chuckled a little “Am I the only who thinks their winter albums are like Korea’s Michael Bublé in December? Anyway, enjoy.” He snorted and shook his head before pressing the button to start the song.

 

Once again, he sang it in one clean go and since it was a more upbeat song, he smiled a bit more at the camera when he looked away from the lyrics.

 

It was quickly recorded, and he turned off the camera after sending it a finger heart while looking away with a silent smile.

 

 _Right,_ he just needed to edit it a little and add the instrumental.

 

Junhee had all sorts of state of the art editing programmes in that computer so it was relatively easy for Donghun to edit the video and the audio and render it before opening his youtube channel and uploading it without thinking much about it before he noticed his subscribers count.

 

“Holy shit…” he muttered in disbelief when he realised that the number had shot up to over 800k in the last couple days “what the fuck happened?”

 

He went to his previous video and noticed that it had over a million views and his heart skipped a beat.

 

What the actual _fuck_?

 

He looked in the comment section and saw a lot of comments of people saying they’d cried with the cover and wondering if he was in love. There were a bunch of newcomers, it seemed, because a lot of people were saying they’d just found his channel and had fallen in love with his voice and dancing. They’d especially liked, Donghun found with a pang, the rawness and emotions that they could feel from his (so he’d thought) sloppy cover of ‘Sing for You’.

 

“Well, shit.” He muttered, gulping as he logged off and cleaned the browsing history and deleted all the files he’d created after he added the audio file to his soundcloud where he noticed that indeed the listen and download count on Sing for You was higher than usual for a song he’d posted so recently. He changed his mind and left the audio in the computer and took the liberty of downloading Sing for You and leaving it there as well.

He unstuck the sheet from the wall and put the microphone back where it was along with the camera. Then he tucked the sheet back in the cabinet and walked back to Junhee’s bedroom where he was still sleeping peacefully. Donghun lied down on the mattress for the third time that night and covered himself. He just hoped he could get some sleep after the rollercoaster of emotions speeding through his system.

Nothing seemed to be easier, though, because not 10 minutes of overthinking and mulling over the weirdness of life he was sleeping like a log, completely exhausted.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Unfair by EXO](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPn59lxT33s)


	10. Hurricane Surging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhee has a suggestive photo on his phone. Donghun says he likes Junhee with black hair and Junhee says he wants his black hair back and Donghun offers to help. He also offers to make him some pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, hi, choice, my lovelies
> 
> this week the 2 chapter update nonsense is back. this here chapter is a bit shorter than the other one, I reckon but Im not sure. anyway, it's a kind of interlude chapter because the next one will be a bit more emotional, I guess, but this is tagged as hurt/comfort for a reason so, don't worry kjfhgjfd i'm kind of not on my best mind yet but im medicated soooooo, im rollin', I guess. sorry about the typos and stuff as usual, i can't get them all no matter how hard i try. i was gonna say sth really mean abt myself but i decided against it haha i guess nobody can spot all the mistakes, especially when it's their own text, yeah? a'ight, enough. more messy notes in the next chapter and then i'll say bye!

* * *

 

Donghun woke up with the dreadful sound of his alarm that he quickly turned off as he groaned at it and huffed. He looked around at the unfamiliar room and the memories of the previous day came flooding back when he felt the scent of unfamiliar shampoo in his own hair and unfamiliar detergent on the bed linen he was using and the clothes he was wearing.

 _Right_ , he was at Junhee’s. Good thing he’d turned off the alarm because it was barely past 7am and nobody needed to be up that early. Well, he did, _technically_ , but Yuchan said he got him covered and had fake papers to show to their bosses. He just had to call in fake sick and back up the story, the thing though, was that Yuchan hadn’t told him what he was dying from and he’d forgotten to ask.

 

**My Baby Channie**

Hi, baby

What am I dying from? lol

We didn’t settle that bit

7:03am

Ah, yeah

I thought abt giving u park junhee’s illness

But then remembered that u met there

So u have chickenpox lol

7:04am

Chickenpox lmao

I already had that as a kid

But that’s good

They don’t know that lmao

Ur really a genius

7:05am

How long until im safe?

7:05am

A week according to doctor Choi Jaehyun uwu

Also I went there with u

Bc I’ve had it as a kid unlike u lmao

7:05am

Just call in and back that up

Im going down in a minute

Just folding the paper in four

;D

7:06am

Okay, thanks again, baby channie

I can’t express how much I love u for helping me out

Why r u folding it tho?

7:07am

It looks more legit like that

Hyungie, I even got a stamp! lmfao

[picture sent; it was a legit-ass looking paper from a fake doctor with a fake-ass stamp that looked 100% real]

Pretty good, uh? ;D

7:08am

 

 

Donghun muffled his laughter against the pillow. That kid was a goddamn professional!

 

 

That looks perfect!

Holy shit

Ur really the best

I’ll call them in like 20mins lmao

7:08am

That’s a good idea

Bc I’ll be down in a minute and that gives it a little time

Ttyl hyung <3

Take care of urself and of Park Junhee hyung! <3

7:09am

Will do

Thanks again, angel

Ily -3-

7:09am

 

Donghun sighed and put his phone on Junhee’s nightstand before making his makeshift bed and pushing it under Junhee’s bed, slowly. He wouldn’t be sleeping more since there was stuff he had to do, like his morning routine in the bathroom and then breakfast. He just hoped that Junhee stayed asleep while he took care of his stuff in the bathroom, at least. It was dreadfully early. He also hoped that he had spare razors.

He did.

His razor was one of those that with a disposable head and when Donghun used it after applying some shaving cream he realised it was more than worth the extra money because it felt so ridiculously smooth on his skin he almost cried. He’d been destroying his face with disposable cheap razors to save money for nothing when it really wasn’t that much extra money in the long run. Junhee’s aftershave really was a lot better than his and he wanted to get some for himself too.

(Well, no, not really, he didn’t harbour many hopes that his friendship with Junhee would last long enough for him to actually give him some.

No, it wasn’t that he was super pessimistic. He just didn’t like to have high hopes so that he wouldn’t be disappointed.

Sue him.)

Junhee was still asleep when he walked back into the room and, well, he couldn’t leave him there and go make breakfast because he was scared for his safety, so he sat there with his phone, noticing that he’d have to charge it soon. The battery would probably last for long enough to let him call in fake sick.

The manager picked up after the fourth buzz.

“Hello?” She said and Donghun faked his most ‘death is upon me’ voice.

“Hello, Manager Kim?” He asked in a low raspy voice “This is, this is Lee Donghun speaking I’m not well and won’t be for, for a while…”

“Oh, Donghun ah!” She called, sounding clearly concerned and Donghun felt simultaneously proud of Yuchan’s skills and guilty of yet another lie “Yuchan ah showed me the doctor paper, you don’t have to worry! Please don’t come in until you’re completely safe! We don’t want a bunch of children being infected with chickenpox!” She exclaimed and Donghun groaned “Oh sorry, you must be running fevers and all that… please take care, chickenpox can be dangerous in adults, you know? Follow all the instructions and make sure to stay indoors. Ah, and don’t scratch the blisters, no matter what! Wear mittens!”

Donghun couldn’t believe how believable Yuchan had made it sound and how brilliant his idea of giving him chickenpox had been.

“I, thank you very much for your tips, Manager Kim, that’s” he fake coughed “that’s very kind of you. I’ll keep them in mind. It’s really so itchy… I wish I’d, I’d caught this when I was a kid…”

“Yes, that would have been ideal” she said with a sigh “but it is what it is, dear boy. Take care and get well soon! Don’t get out of the house! See you soon!”

“Okay, thank you again for everything, for your understanding and advice.” Donghun said with a fake groan “See you soon, Manager Kim.”

And he hung up before snorting and shooting Yuchan a text.

**My Baby Channie**

You could make a business out of fake papers

And acting skills lmao

You’re really a genius

ily

7:21am

 

He heard Junhee move on the bed and looked up to see what he was doing.

“Hyung?” He heard the small morning voice call and walked over to him, turning on the lamp on the nightstand and seeing his puffy morning face and bedhead.

“Right here. Good morning, baby.” He said with a smile in his voice “How are you feeling?”

“Cold…” Junhee mumbled sadly and Donghun sighed.

“Can I feel your temperature?”

“Yeah…” Junhee mumbled and his voice seemed to be less raspy than before. Donghun rubbed his hands for warmth, as he’d done the previous morning, and felt the temperature on Junhee’s forehead and then on his neck, earning a cold shiver from him. Definitely still feverish but not as burning as the previous day.

“Bad news is, you still have a fever” Donghun huffed “good news is that it doesn’t feel as bad as yesterday. How about pain?”

Junhee hummed for a bit a felt his own head before pouting a little.

“It hurts…”

Donghun pursed his lips. Well, it took time, sure, but he just wanted Junhee to stop feeling pain. He wanted him to be 100% as soon as possible, no matter what that meant for him and their weird impromptu symbiotic relationship.

“Do you wanna get up?”

“Hm…” Junhee mumbled and nodded a little and Donghun gently pulled the covers off him, watching him coil a little “can I stop feeling cold?” He complained.

“You will, soon, don’t worry. Up you come.” He said patting his waist softly which made him slowly sit up. It was clear that he wanted to rub his eyes “Wait.” He went over to one of his drawers and pulled out not only a fresh set of clothes for him to dress after his shower but also a random white t-shirt he found there that he used to throw over the lamp and dim the light “Pull them off.”

Junhee smiled a little and pulled off the eyepatches. Donghun got them from his hands and put them on his nightstand, watching Junhee carefully rub at his closed eyes with his fisted hands before slowly opening them. They looked glazed and unfocused but then they fell on the shaded lamp before falling on Donghun. He smiled at Donghun who felt a little anxious but was smiling a little anyway.

 

“It’s clearer now…” Junhee mumbled “I can see the contours of the lamp and, and I can see your outlines a little bit… still can’t see your face though, still dark” he smiled and closed his eyes again “it’s kind of annoying.” He sighed and hugged himself “I’m cold…” he repeated with a small frown.

“You’re asking for another lukewarm shower.” Donghun teased and Junhee groaned.

“No-o-o-o… the water was too cold!”

“It was not. Your body was just burning up” he corrected with a huff “it won’t feel as bad today, since you’re not as hot. Come on.” He said and Junhee put his feet on the floor where Donghun helped him put on a pair of slippers he hadn’t noticed he had the previous day “There we go. Open your eyes” he said as he stood up and Junhee opened them slowly looking up in his general direction “my hand is stretched, try to grab it.”

He saw Junhee reach his hand and hover it in the air for a moment, squinting at him before touching it and grabbing it. Donghun wished he could have captured the smile that bloomed on Junhee’s face on that moment as he pulled him to his feet. He noticed that he was wobbling a lot less, too.

“Well done, Park Junhee. Now close your eyes again because it’s gonna get bright.” He said smiling too and held his hand for a moment before putting an arm around him and leading him to the bathroom “We don’t want you bumping onto things, sweetheart.”

Junhee chuckled lightly and held onto him as well as he was led into the bathroom.

“Ah, right, we’re husbands now.” He said with a smile “ _Darling_ hyung.”

Donghun snorted at the silly pet name.

 

* * *

 

 

The ritual was pretty much the same as the previous day, with the coy request for a backwash and finishing with Donghun shaving Junhee, as carefully and gently as before, and helping him with his skincare and all that, before leading him downstairs, already carrying the duvet that time before leading him to the couch and telling him lie down before covering him.

 

“I’ll get you the cold meds and the cough drops too, don’t worry. You’ll get the sweets.” Donghun chuckled as Junhee grinned “I’ll go get some breakfast now, and then you’ll take the other meds. Let me pop the music on” Donghun said casually as he got Junhee’s laptop and put his playlist playing “can I use your phone charger?”

 

“Of course, hyung, anything you need. I got one somewhere down here.” Junhee said giddily and Donghun snorted as he went over to where he’d seen it: On the useless corner shelf.

 

(it wasn’t as useless after all, eh?)

 

“There’s some leftover soup from yesterday that I, uh, kept in the fridge. It should still be good.” Donghun said as he connected his phone to the charger “Would you like that?”

“Yeah, I liked that soup.” Junhee smiled “Thank you, hyung.”

“No prob.” He smiled “I’ll go get it now.”

So, he did. He heated it up on the stovetop and then brought a tray with food for the both of them, again, putting his own food on the awful coffee table and leaving Junhee’s on the tray, telling him he’d be putting his food on his lap.

“Here’s the cold meds drink. Sweets at the end.” He said reaching it in Junhee’s direction who grabbed it and gulped it down in one go “You can take the other meds with some tea. It’s not too hot.”

“Thanks, hyungie.” Junhee smiled as he grabbed the chopsticks. Donghun had put everything in the place he’d put the stuff the previous day “I’ll eat well.”

“Good.” He smiled “I can, like, uh” he stammered a little “if you’re not feeling sick, like, if your stomach’s alright and all…” he filled his mouth with food to chase away some of the clumsiness as he felt his cheeks get warm “I can make you something nicer later, like… I don’t know, what do you like?”

Junhee was eating in silence but clearly listening because his cheeks also got cutely pink. Donghun ate a little aggressively. They were a pair of damn idiots and he was sure Yuchan would make fun of them for being so awkward, after everything that had happened, over Donghun offering to cook for Junhee, something he’d already done more than once.

“I don’t know, hyung… what can you make?”

 

That was a solid question, Donghun thought, impressed. His cooking repertoire wasn’t that extensive, but he could do a couple really nice things.

 

“Pancakes.” He said with a snort “I can make some really good pancakes.”

“I like pancakes.” Junhee smiled softly “I’d love some!”

“Then you’ll get some.” Donghun chuckled as he finished eating his ill soup and his rice and gulping down his tea “Anything you like them with? Maple syrup? Jam? Honey?”

“Honey is good for the throat, isn’t it?” Junhee said, sensibly and smiling as he finished eating as well. Donghun was popping out his pills for him.

“I love my sensible, hubbie.” He joked and Junhee giggled. Donghun snorted “Your hand, Junhee ya, I got your meds.” Junhee was already opening his palm when he said ‘your’ and had the cup of tea on the other, read to gulp them all down “There he goes. Well done. Want the candy cough drops now?” Donghun said with a smile in his voice and Junhee nodded “You’re really a damn baby.”

“It tastes nice!” Junhee defended as he accepted the strawberry cough drop Donghun handed him and popped it in his mouth “Delicious!” He grinned and Donghun chuckled as he saw him lean back on the pillows that had been left there the previous night and pulled the duvet over himself. Donghun grabbed the dirty dishes and took them to the kitchen where he washed them before returning. Junhee was leaning back and with his eyes covered with the patches, Donghun thought he’d fallen asleep, but he noticed him still suckling on the cough drop so he sat on table again.

“I hate this table” Donghun said quietly with a huff and Junhee chuckled.

“Well, I didn’t pick it myself. IKEA got their specialists to do decorate my flat.” He explained and Donghun snorted because he already knew that “Ah” Junhee blushed a little “you watched my videos. You know that.”

“I do know that.” Donghun confirmed playfully “I’m a Hot Glue.”

Junhee chortled heartily.

“I loved the name the people came up with.”

“Even though it was based on your pain.” Donghun pursed his lips and Junhee shrugged his shoulders.

“It was funny anyway.” He said dismissively “Hot Glue is a good name and lets me make a bunch of jokes.” He grinned and then scrunched his nose “Hm, I should update my Instagram… I do that regularly.”

Donghun knew that too.

“I can help you with that.” He said patting his own thighs with a chuckle “I’ll get your phone from upstairs. Be right back.”

 

So, he trod upstairs and then back with Junhee’s phone already tapping the Instagram app.

 

“Alright, what do you want me to type?”

 

“Ah…” Junhee breathed in heavily and clicked his tongue “something like ‘ _Hi, Hotties_ , put a kissy face emoji here and, uh, ah” he chuckled “write, _I hope your life is sticky and sweet today too. Please stay healthy and be careful not to catch a cold!_ Then add a heart.”

 

“What colour heart?”

 

“Red.” Junhee said “The one that’s two of them or something.” He chuckled and Donghun hummed and then remembered that you couldn’t just write on Instagram unless it was on a story.

 

“Ah, you want me to make it into a story or an actual post?”

 

“A post.”

 

“Then we need a photo.” Donghun snorted and Junhee hummed again and scrunched his nose.

 

“Well, can you pick one for me, hyung?” He asked with a small pout “I have a bunch of selcas in there.”

 

“You’re really that trusting.” Donghun sighed as he opened his gallery through Instagram and Junhee chuckled.

 

“I told you” he said, “I’m not, I just trust you.”

 

Donghun huffed and clicked his tongue knowing damn well that Junhee could trust him completely. He liked to joke and goof around, but he wouldn’t do anything that would harm anyone on purpose. Especially not someone he held dear, like the idiot lying across him. 

 

(Ah.)

 

“You’re really okay with me scrolling through your pictures?” He teased and Junhee chuckled.

 

“Yes, I don’t have dick pics there.” He said playfully and Donghun chortled. Okay, so he they were on the same page there.

 

“Where are they then?”

 

“Nowhere.” Junhee snorted “I don’t take that kind of picture…” he said and then paused “ah… I think I have, um, I think I have an inappropriate shirtless picture there though. Please don’t post it.” He asked coyly and Donghun choked on his laughter.

 

“I’ve seen you shirtless. You even have shirtless pics on your Instagram, nerd.”

 

“Yes, at the beach. That picture is kind of inappropriate…” Junhee’s cheeks turned red and he clearly didn’t mind the playful insult “please don’t post it, if you find it.”

 

Donghun purposely scrolled carefully so that he would indeed find the picture Junhee was so embarrassed about.

When he finally did, he legitimately choked and had a coughing fit.

 

It was inappropriate _indeed._

 

It was a mirror selfie in medium light and Junhee was wearing nothing but a pair of tight black jeans. He was slicking his wet black hair back with the fingers of his free hand and giving the mirror bedroom eyes with his lips slightly parted. His golden skin was still shimmering a little with moist from the shower he’d clearly just taken. Donghun suddenly felt very hot indeed.

 

“I, I found it…”

 

Junhee’s face went beet red and he hid it.

 

“Please, please don’t post it.”

 

“I will not.” Donghun promised scrolling back up where he’d seen a couple of soft and sweet smiling Junhee selcas that could be used “I’ll post one where you’re smiling, and we can only see your face. That good?”

 

“Yes, thank you.” Junhee said, still looking awkward. Donghun added the photo, picked a soft filter, wrote the captcha Junhee had instructed him to write and posted it.

“Done.”

“Th-thanks, hyung.” Junhee said shyly and Donghun chuckled a little seeing his embarrassment.

“I have dick pics in my camera roll, if that helps.” He said and Junhee smiled a little turning his face in his direction as he uncovered it.

“You do?”

“Yeah, it’s just the one though.” He said with a chuckle “You don’t need many more, really, since, you know, we only got one dick and _ideally_ it always looks the same.” He half-joked, watching Junhee’s smile return. 

“You’re right” he agreed “I just never… I never felt the need to take one, I guess…”

 

Well, yes, that was a weird subject, but it broke the ice and brought Junhee's smile back, so it was a good subject.

 

“I just…” Junhee continued and sighed “I was feeling handsome when I took that picture… and had nobody to see me, so I just took a picture.” He shrugged.

 

“Well, you were, you were indeed looking very handsome… with all due respect, of course.” Donghun said with a small chuckle and Junhee smiled at him.

 

“Thank you, hyung.” He said “You can, you don’t have to be so careful” he added “I think we’ve settled that I’m not exactly straight either so… I don’t know, it’s not weird for you to say I looked handsome.”

 

“You _are_ handsome” Donghun corrected “right now, you’re more on the cute side, though. Also ill which is a big turn off” he joked to make Junhee laugh. It worked “but y’know. That’s a good picture. If you were really my boyfriend… _or husband_ ” he chuckled as Junhee chortled onto his duvet “I wouldn’t want you to go showing that to other people. I’m kind of on the greedy, jealous side. Just a heads up.” He let a smile seep into his voice as he got up from the table, seeing Junhee smile cheekily and absolutely loving it ( _God help him_ ) “Also, you look gorgeous with black hair.”

 

Junhee’s face was red all over but he was smiling.

 

“You, you think so?”

 

“ _Definitely_ think so.” Donghun scoffed and Junhee fell silent.

 

“Ah, hyungie… now I want to dye it back to black… it’s my natural colour, you know.”

 

Donghun stared not believing that him saying he looked good with black hair had made him want black hair again.

 

“Um, yeah, well, it’s the most common hair colour for Korean people so… yeah…” he said and he was about to tell him that he was going outside to the convenience store to get ingredients for the pancakes but now he was hesitating. He could pass by the pharmacy and buy some hair dye as well “Uh… I need to go get ingredients for the, the pancakes” bad timing for Junhee’s playlist to start playing one of Lee Donghun’s covers as a fretting Lee Donghun was trying to tell him what he was going to do.

 

(It was his upbeat cover of Starlight Tears by Kim Yookyung. He was particularly proud of his arrangement of the song and it’d been one of his biggest hits, before the messy cover of Sing for You blew up, that is.)

 

“Um, I can, uh, drop by the pharmacy and get you some, some hair dye… I can dye your hair, if you want. I’m fairly good at that.” He offered with a small huff.

Junhee was silent for a moment as Donghun’s cover made the singer, who was standing there like a damn doofus, fret even more.

“I love this cover a lot, love the arrangement…” Junhee smiled giddily. The meds were probably starting to kick in “um, that’d be nice. You can take my wallet, hyung. Don’t waste your money on me.”

“I don’t mind doing that.” Donghun complained and Junhee shook his head.

“Please use my money.” He stubbornly insisted.

“Aish, fine. I’ll do that.” Donghun complained as he grabbed his wallet, which he’d left down there the previous day “Don’t, don’t get out of there… I won’t take long.”

 

“Okay, hyungie.” Junhee smiled “Go and return safely.”

 

“Alright, _sweetheart_.” Donghun chuckled and sighed as he grabbed Junhee’s wallet and left his flat after grabbing the Jacket he’d left by the door the previous day “Be back in a spell. I love you.” He said without thinking before feeling his heart drop to his stomach at what he’d just thoughtlessly said.

 

Junhee didn’t respond and Donghun was frozen on his feet for as long as he remained quiet feeling like he was losing years of life by the second.

 

“I love you too, hyung.” Junhee finally replied coyly with the sweetest, most blushy smile “You’re really that sweet, aren’t you?”

 

Donghun wanted to die.

 

“I’m, I’m so sorry, Junhee ya.” Donghun stammered hopelessly “I, I don’t mean it in a weird way… oh God, I keep making it weirder and weirder” he muttered covering his face even though Junhee couldn’t see how red it’d gotten and how much he was cringing at himself “I like to, I just… I like to say that I love people when I feel— I’m making it worse.” He gave up, letting his arms fall alongside his body and sighing deeply “I’m getting out now. Be right back.”

 

“You’re the sweetest, hyung! I really love you too!” He heard Junhee say loudly with a smile clear in his voice as he left the flat and closed the door before almost starting to run.

 

_How to dig your own grave: a tutorial by Chaotic Gay Lee Donghun._

 

He should make a youtube video out of it, really. Make a diss track for himself even though that meme had died ages ago. Never in the time he’d known Yuchan did he need more one his hugs than at that moment. He might as well have fucking proposed to the man, why not?

 

The weather was overcast and cold, looked it was going to rain but there was no wind. Inside Donghun’s head, though, there was a damn hurricane swirling up and messing his whole being. He was going to dye Junhee’s hair but he felt like was about to die himself.

 

“So help me, God” he thought feeling like a lost heathen as he walked down the street.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Starlight Tears by Kim Yookyung](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Stwh0jdBI9U)  
> Sadly, I couldn't find an upbeat cover of it to show you what I imagined and I can't make my own because 1) I can't sing, 2) I especially can't sing in Korean, 3) I can't make arrangements at all.  
> But looking at these lyrics I imagined an upbeat cover that sounded angrier than sad, like, 'yeah, I'm whipped and you broke my damn heart but I'm still waiting and when you're eventually back, I'll yell at you before hugging you, ya lil shit'. Does that make sense? I wish there was such an arrangement because the lyrics allow it. Oh well.


	11. Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun dyes Junhee's hair. Junhee allows him to listen to his music. It's a cathartic and bonding moment. Donghun realises that he's screwed beyond help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Henlo, agaaaaain, still the same day as the previous chapter! hahaaha
> 
> okay, so this here chapter has some angsty moments but as usual they do not last long. Donghun wants Channie baby's hugs to comfort him in his gay panic. some revelations and realisations happen in this one aaaaand idk, im not sure what else to write about as a heads up. i hope you enjoy these chapters and i hope you're enjoying the ride so far! i've replied to all the comments but thank you again for them, they're really nice to read and really motivate me to keep writing this no matter what! and if you're a silent reader, thank you too! it's fine to read without saying anything. been there, done that. it's fine. don't feel forced to say sth if you're shy just because i say i like feedback. i feel honoured that you're reading the story even if you don't comment, really <3
> 
> bye bye, fam, see you next week! (hopefully!)

* * *

 

It was cold outside and Donghun wanted to yell. Yell until he lost his voice. Yell until it hurt.

 

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a big deal to tell Junhee he loved him. He said that to Yuchan all the time and to his mum and to everyone he liked. It didn’t have that kind of connotation in his world. Call him weird, but raking his brain in a panic, he realised that he’d never said ‘I love you’ to someone he wanted to bed, and he had bedded a fair amount of people. He’d even had a couple ‘dick appointments’ that were officially ‘boyfriends’ and he didn’t remember telling them he loved them. That was probably the reason why he’d gotten dumped and dumped them, thinking back.

 

He snorted as he kicked a can out of the way before picking it up carefully and binning it in the bin beside the convenience store.

 

Definitely something he had to talk to Yuchan about when he got the chance. He was also a mess who loved a lot but had never really been in love. He’d use the term ‘dick appointments’, too, he was sure Yuchan would find it funny even though the story was kind of not funny overall. But like, come on, they were all young. Love was a broad, vast and complex concept. It didn’t mean he hadn’t loved his boyfriends (aka _dick appointments_ ), it just meant that the love he felt for them wasn’t the kind of love that’d make him want to make a life with them. Especially in a country like his, where being gay wasn’t well-accepted. As a gay man, it was a good way to put things in perspective when assessing how much he liked a romantic partner: _am I willing to risk everything for this bloke?_

 

And why was he thinking about that shit then? Well.

 

_Well._

 

On a slightly different subject, but on the same line of thought, he hated not telling Junhee who he was.

 

All the things he was keeping from him were eating him alive.

 

They weren’t many, sure, and he’d already gotten some out of the way (the lies, he wasn’t lying anymore, he was just keeping things from him) but he still hated it. He didn’t like it one fucking bit. Especially because the only reason he could get away with that shitty behaviour was that Junhee had temporarily lost his eyesight and he’d dumbly not told him who he was. For absolutely no fucking reason.

 

He roamed about the convenience store gathering the ingredients without thinking, probably getting more stuff than he needed, not really thinking about what he was doing because his mind was with Junhee.

 

With Junhee and his music, _their music_ , the music they had in common, and that Donghun was hiding from him.

 

Learning that Junhee had been his fan for years had shook him up in a way he couldn’t really understand yet.

 

He hadn’t been counting on that at all. Maybe he’d found him a couple months back or something but no.

 

_No._

 

He’d been there for years, probably almost since he’d started and thought he was great. Donghun wanted to fucking cry again thinking about it. What was it about him that drew Junhee in so much!? There were plenty of more talented musicians on Youtube. What the fuck was so special about him? Junhee was a musician himself, a top-notch one at that, and a damn dancer too, so why? Why did he like Donghun so much!?

 

His mind was so messy that he almost got red hair dye instead of black but thankfully he noticed the mistake on time and asked to change it. Then he walked back into Junhee’s building and up to his flat with his purchases, leaving his wallet by the front door before locking it behind him.

* * *

 

It was still early to go make the pancakes, so he decided to go and leave the ingredients in the kitchen and return with the hair dye, leaving it in the small restroom downstairs.

Junhee was lying on the couch, still, as Donghun had told him to and Donghun got off his coat and hung it by the door before going over to him and sitting on the armchair beside the couch.

“I’m awake, hyung.” Junhee said softly with a smile and Donghun jolted as if poked with a prank shock pen.

 

(No, he was not going to address the fact that he’d casually told him he loved him before. No sir. Not yet anyway)

 

“Welcome back.”

 

“Hi, sorry. I thought you were sleeping.”

 

“I slept a little, but I heard you open the door.”

 

“Ah, makes sense. How’s the pain?”

 

“Can’t feel a thing.” Junhee said with a smile and small sigh. The music wasn’t very loud, and it was currently playing some generic soft indie music that helped sooth Donghun’s racing mind and heart.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Donghun said quietly and Junhee noded.

 

“Of course, hyung.”

 

“How did you find Lee Donghun?”

 

Junhee hummed softly and smiled as he clearly tried to remember.

 

“Well… it was about 2 years ago… I think…” he said and Donghun covered his face. Almost since the beginning, like he’d predicted “the first song I heard him sing was a cover of Breathe… I guess it’s still my favourite.” He said softly and Donghun looked at him in silence.

 

 _Now,_ he hadn’t been expecting that.

 

He covered that when he was feeling especially down, as a way to cope, and many people had said it was still one of his best because he could convey the emotions that both artists conveyed but in a very specific way.

 

In his own way.

 

“Breathe.” Donghun repeated quietly.

 

“Breathe.”

 

“Were you looking for the song?”

 

“Yeah… I wanted to cover it too and I stumbled upon that one cover and gave it a go… it was a great decision because” he paused “because the way it was sung, it, well, it matched how I felt, if that makes sense…” Junhee said quietly and Donghun fell silent.

 

“So, you were also feeling kind of like useless shit.” Donghun snorted mirthlessly and Junhee snorted too and nodded.

 

“You can say that.”

 

“Time for another fact about me” Donghun said and sighed “to return this one you just gave me about you.” He explained and Junhee looked like he was listening attentively “I also have a channel on youtube.”

 

Junhee opened his mouth and closed it before opening it again and gulping.

 

“What is it about?”

 

“I, I can’t tell you that… not yet, because I’m an idiot.” He scoffed and stood up, yawning “Do you want to go dye your hair?”

 

Junhee was silent for a moment before nodding.

 

“Yeah…” Junhee smiled “It’s getting warm under this duvet.” He chuckled as he pulled it back “Please help me up, hyung. Something in these meds makes my muscles feel like jelly.”

 

“The painkillers.” Donghun told him as he helped him and put an arm around his waist. The subject they’d been previously tip-toeing around was left hanging in the air like a cloud of hazy vapour “I read the side-effects, they get rid of the pain but make your body feel like jelly and can make you feel very sleepy, so you’re advised not to, like, drive and stuff while on them.”

“Makes sense.” Junhee said as Donghun led him to the restroom “I don’t go out much anyway so… I’ll be fine for the two weeks I have to take them…”

“Yeah, you will” Donghun smiled and closed to lid of the toilet and made Junhee sit on it “I got the blackest black.”

“My hair is the blackest black.” Junhee chuckled “You got it right.”

“Good.” Donghun chuckled as he got a dark towel to put around Junhee’s shoulders since the dye didn’t come with a protection plastic thing. At least it came with gloves “Right, I’m gonna mix this up and dye that blonde mane in a minute.”

“Does blonde suit me?” Junhee asked sheepishly.

“It does” Donghun confessed “but black makes you look hotter.”

Junhee giggled and leaned back.

“I thought you were on the jealous side.”

“I don’t mind people saying that my man is handsome” Donghun played along “I just don’t want them to be seeing him shirtless and looking like a five course meal.”

“Like a five course meal!” Junhee giggled harder and had a coughing fit “Sorry, that was funny!”

Donghun chortled too but said nothing as he mixed up the hair dye.

He kept on digging and digging his damn grave.

* * *

 

Dyeing Junhee’s hair was a quiet and smooth bonding experience. Donghun hadn’t been lying when he said he was good at it. He really was. Junhee almost fell asleep during the process though and Donghun had to call him a couple times to prevent him from stooping over.

“Sorry, hyungie…” he slurred “the meds and, and your hands on my hair… make me sleepy.”

 

Oh, he was one of those people, was he? That was a good piece of info.

 

“Ah, alright.” He chuckled “Now you just got to wait for a while for it to dye everything well.”

 

“Hm… okay, hyung…” Junhee said sleepily and Donghun decided that it was best to get hair dye on the towel, cover his head and take him back to the living room so that he could seat and nap on the couch.

 

Donghun sat with him that time, side by side, letting him use his shoulder as a pillow as he’d done the night they’d met and put an arm around him which prompted a small smile and some snuggling onto him.

 

That was the moment that everything clicked into place and started making sense and Donghun realised that he was screwed.

 

He was falling, not slowly yet steadily, but quickly and messily for Park Junhee.

 

It wouldn’t have happened if he’d just met him that night at McDonald’s. The thing was that he already knew him, and he’d already sneaked his way into his heart and soul without knowing. That had been purely platonic though and, alright, he’d messily called him ‘daddy’, but he’d never thought they’d meet like that. He’d never thought that Park Junhee would be his type in every sense of the concept.

 

He was kind and gentle, yet playful and a dork. He was clumsy and messy, yet organised and focused. He was agreeable and soft, yet stubborn and strong-willed.

 

Then there was his smile. That easy yet genuine and pure smile that bloomed on his face like a silly flower. Donghun tightened his grip around him.

 

How could he let him go after he could see again?

 

Like, sure, Junhee was his fan, but that didn’t mean anything. Like Byeongkwan had said to Yuchan, he was in love with the artist, not with the man. Donghun wasn’t sure what he’d think of the man once he could see him. The fact that he was taking care of him didn’t seem to matter much to him, really. He was still hiding that from him which wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair, and he wanted to slap himself for it.

 

He should have told him. He should have. Now it was too late and when he could finally see him, he’d probably feel hurt that he hadn’t told him. Donghun just hoped he didn’t cry. He would give anything he had so that he wouldn’t cry.

 

**My Baby Channie**

 

You could make a business out of fake papers

And acting skills

You’re really a genius

ily

7:21am

I’m the biggest idiot

I want to tell him who I am

But I just dnt fckn have the guts

I also accidentally told him I loved him lol

9:32am

 

It wasn’t time for Yuchan’s break yet, so he wouldn’t reply but he just wanted to put it out there somehow and Yuchan was his lifeline. He wanted to talk to him again. He needed a damn reassuring hug from him. His reassuring advice.

Donghun noticed Junhee’s phone buzzing on the coffee table and carefully leaned over to grab it.

 

**Kwannie**

 

You said ud text, hyung!

9:34am

I sneaked back in the dorms

How r u feeling?

9:35am

 

Donghun had no clue how Junhee texted so he scrolled up to see the previous messages and took the liberty of replying for him once he got the gist.

 

Hi, kwannie!

Sorry!

I forgot…

9:36am

I’m a bit better

My fever has gone down!

9:37am

How are u and Seyoon hyung?

9:37am

Ah that’s good news!

I’m glad! <3

We’re alright!

I got to see him twice today already!

9:38am

Ah, that’s great! <3

Please take care

I’m gonna take the dye off my hair now

Hyung is helping me dye my hair >_<

9:39am

Oh!

What colour??

You’re still hiding his identity >:(

9:40am

Back to black!

Sorry about that…

9:40am

 

 

Donghun thought about it as his heart raced. Junhee wouldn’t know unless Byeongkwan told him, but then he didn’t want Junhee to be the last one to know who he was, so he decided to leave the hint as vague as possible.

 

 

I’ll just tell u that it’s someone u know!

9:41am

He’s a bit of an idiot

And I’m not sure if this will last long

But we’ll see!!

9:42am

Byeongkwan took a while to reply and Donghun thought he’d been called back but then he replied.

 

Well, if it’s someone I know, I’m sure it’ll last long!

Also, don’t forget what I told you!

Message Lee Donghun! >:(

9:44am

>_<

Okay, I will! Geez!

9:45am

I hope u do!

Ttyl, hyung!

9:45am

 

Donghun didn’t reply to that because he’d noticed that Junhee did that too. He didn’t mind not having the last word.

 

_Message Lee Donghun._

Now that would be a fun experience, wouldn’t it? He’d basically be texting himself like a fucking idiot.

 

“Hmm…” He heard Junhee shift beside him “hyung?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Sorry about, uh, holding you” he said quietly but Junhee didn’t seem to mind it at all and didn’t move away “also, Byeongkwan texted and I kind of replied for you, hope that’s alright… I just pretended to be you and told him how you are” he said. Junhee hummed as backchannel “yeah, and he keeps insisting that you message Lee Donghun.” Donghun huffed and was pleased to see Junhee huffing too.

“I don’t want to do that.” He said stubbornly “Why would I do that!?”

“Exactly.” Donghun snorted “Let’s go finish taking care of that hair.”

He helped Junhee back up and helped him go back to the toilet where they finished the process and Donghun carefully blew dried Junhee’s hair after moisturising it.

 

It looked absolutely perfect.

 

“It looks gorgeous.” He said with a smile.

 

“Wish I could see it.” Junhee snorted.

 

“I’ll take pics and you’ll see it later.” Donghun said as he helped him back to the living room where he lied down on the couch again. He then grabbed Junhee’s phone and took pics of him before sneaking some with his own phone as well “I can post it. You just gotta keep your eyes closed and pretend to sleep.” Donghun chuckled “I’ll say it was the mystery hyung who phone jacked you.”

 

Junhee chuckled and nodded.

 

“That’s a great idea.” He didn’t have the eyepatches at that moment, so he just kept his eyes closed, took a deep breath and rested his features, pretending to sleep. Donghun took a couple pictures.

 

“Perfect.” He said when he was done with it and grinned as he opened the Instagram app. He posted one of the “sleeping pics” and captioned it as:

 

_“Mystery Hyung here! Junhee ya is sleeping and I took a picture of him after we dyed his hair! Extra handsome, right!? Doesn’t he look cute sleeping? [heart emoji]”_

 

“What did you write?” Junhee asked with a smile.

“You’ll read it yourself when you can.” Donghun teased and Junhee pouted which made Donghun chortle.

“Just kidding, I said it was the mystery hyung and that I took a picture of you after we dyed your hair. I said you looked extra handsome and that you looked cute sleeping.” He said and watched Junhee get flustered as he smiled at him.

“Oh hyung, you’re really too sweet.” Junhee said softly and sighed as he ran his fingers slowly through his freshly dyed hair “Kwannie might call me again later…” he mumbled “to talk about my hair… and” he sighed “and pester me about Lee Donghun.”

Donghun rolled his eyes and clicked his tongue.

“Why is he so keen on that anyway?”

“I don’t know” Junhee huffed and pouted “he thinks I should tell him I, I’m also a musician and” he snorted “that he’d magically want to do a collaboration with me.”

 

Donghun wouldn’t be opposed to that at all, he thought wildly.

 

“If you showed him some of your covers and stuff, maybe, maybe he would want that.” He said without thinking, his heart racing at the prospect. He didn’t care about the Lee Donghun that Junhee knew from youtube, he only cared about the Lee Donghun standing right there eager to listen to Junhee sing and see him dance.

Junhee was silent for a solid 10 seconds before chuckling.

“I’ll think about that” he said finally “ah, if you, if you get the laptop I have in my workroom upstairs, I can show you some… if you want.”

Donghun had to fight off the urge to dash upstairs to get the Content but he managed to control himself. His heart, though, wasn’t very calm.

“I’d want that, yes.” He said, trying not to sound too eager “I’ll do that. Be right back.”

He ran upstairs, grabbed the laptop and brought it downstairs as if it was a very fragile artefact, with all the care in the world and put it on the dining table (which wasn’t used to dine at all) and sat on the chair.

“I have it here.”

“The password is the same as the other one.”

Donghun almost told him he already knew that, but God seemed to be being his mate at that moment because he didn’t. He just typed it and got in.

“Anything I can’t see?” Donghun asked as coolly as he could and Junhee hummed before shaking his head.

“Not really, you can look around. I have the folders, um, they’re organised.” He said with a chuckle “Yah… you’ll listen to me singing… that’s so embarrassing.” Junhee scrunched his nose with a little smile as his cheeks turned red again.

 

“Shut up” Donghun complained “you’re hiding some good stuff in here and I know it.”

 

He was absolutely right and Byeongkwan hadn’t been overselling it.

 

Junhee really was a top-notch musician.

 

He had a folder with only audios of his covers and Donghun almost sadistically played them all after shutting off the other laptop.

 

It was a Park Junhee Covers Only Party.

 

 He was a fucking top-notch singer and his guitar skills were top-tier. Donghun felt himself tear up with his cover of Roy Kim’s ‘Only Then’ on the piano and kept on tearing up as he kept on listening, trying to hide how much of a mess he’d been turned into listening to all that. _Breathe_ destroyed him. It only got worse when he went into the videos of the covers and listened to same covers again but with video as well. The passion that poured from every gesture, every note, every chord made Donghun want to jump out of the window.

 

“You have been hiding this, this stuff.” Donghun couldn’t hide the tears from his voice and he was suddenly very angry “Why the fuck have you been hiding this?”

 

He knew why. Junhee had told him why. He was angry though and he wasn't thinking at all.

 

“Hyung…” Junhee’s eyes were suddenly filled with tears as well “are you, why are you crying?”

 

“Because you’re bloody amazing!” He exclaimed angrily “And, and you keep fawning over, over…”

 

“Over?” Junhee sniffled as wiped his eyes with trembling weak fists “Please, please don’t cry… I can’t, can’t wipe your tears.”

 

Donghun almost yelled ‘A MORON LIKE ME’ but he gritted his teeth and didn’t say it.

 

“Over an, an, a dumbass who’s clearly eons behind you as a musician!”

 

“Don’t say that!” Junhee sobbed “That voice is, is one of the best things in my, in my life! I literally can fall asleep because of it, I, I can’t… I can’t express how much, how much I love it. I would…” he chuckled mirthlessly as he sobbed and Donghun kept on sobbing too and feeling like a jackass for doing the thing he definitely didn’t want to do: make Junhee cry again. He got up and walked over to him and knelt beside him, hopelessly.

 

“I’m sorry” he pleaded “I didn’t mean to, to make you cry, baby, I’m so sorry… I was, it’s just… you’re really, really good” he gulped, his words getting lost in his thoughts, feeling like the biggest asshole on planet Earth “I’m so sorry, I hate to, to see you cry. _Shit_.”

 

“I hate that I can’t see you at all!” Junhee exclaimed with a choked sob and Donghun felt his small hand touch the top of his head and thought he’d push him away, but he caressed his hair instead. Fuck his entire life, he was screwed beyond all help “Hyung… p-please don’t cry, please.”

 

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop if you do.” Donghun snorted and choked another sob. Junhee chuckled and tried to wipe his eyes. Donghun carefully did that for him with his palms.

“It’s not fair…” Junhee mumbled and sniffled “that I can’t-“ Donghun knew what he was going to say and had already grabbed both his small hands and brought them to his face.

“Knock yourself out.” He muttered, not letting go of his hands as he softly rubbed his wet eyes and face with his palms too “Now, now we’re even.”

“Thank you… and I’m, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I’m the one who got dumbly angry. It’s my damn fault.” Donghun muttered as he softly let go of Junhee’s hands. Junhee let them fall alongside his body and sniffled “You dance too, don’t you?” He asked, changing the damn fucking subject and standing up “That might cheer us both up.”

“Ah” Junhee chuckled and sniffled “yes, there’s, I have a folder with those too but not on that, it’s in the other computer” he said shakily “because I have more space to dance, uh, down here.”

“Oh” Donghun said and grabbed the computer on the coffee table opening it again and looking for the folder. He found it quickly “got it.”

“You should watch the, the last one I made… I think I put it there” he chortled “not sure though, I was tired… but I think I put it where it belonged.”

Donghun found the last video added to the folder and it just read ‘HyunA’s Red Cut’.

“Oh Lord…” He muttered and Junhee chuckled “is this what I, what I think this is?” He chuckled too.

“If you think I’m, I’m dancing in those heels and that outfit, then you’re right.” Junhee confirmed with a small smile “It’s kind of embarrassing, I was, I wanted to show it to Byeongkwannie and Sehyoon hyung at some point, but I guess, I guess you’ll be the first to see it.”

 

Donghun played the video.

 

And he almost had multiple heart attacks but he did not feel like crying. It felt suddenly very hot in that room. Junhee was wearing the crop top and the short shorts but not the thigh high boots. He’d done it with the ridiculously high heels he’d gotten, and he’d done it absolutely flawlessly. That choreography was hell and he’d absolutely slain it. He made it look all sorts of brilliant and hot. He was smiling his cattish, cheeky grin and not looking like he was doing it to mock anyone or anything. That was a 100% serious dance cover.

 

“You, you actually went and learnt this choreo from hell.”

 

Junhee’s face was as red as Donghun felt his own. They were really in sync that day.

 

“I had to learn how walk, how to walk in those heels and when I did” Junhee explained sheepishly with a small smile “I felt like challenging myself so… I did that.”

“And you didn’t post it.” Donghun said unable to hide the betrayed tone in his voice “I have never felt more robbed in my life.”

Junhee giggled and Donghun grinned feeling happy to see him happy again and sighing.

“I should fucking leak it, I swear to God.”

“Hyung!” Junhee squealed in shock and Donghun cackled “Don’t, please!”

“I’m joking, baby, I wouldn’t do that.” He smiled and rubbed the back of his hand “But this is, wow… when you finally decide to post your musical content, you gotta post this and apologise for betraying your audience.”

Junhee chuckled.

“They’re not, they’re not expecting that from me so, so it’s not betrayal.”

“Oh, it will feel like it once they see it” Donghun scoffed “and I’m saying this as a Hot Glue.”

Junhee closed his eyes and chortled heartily.

“Okay, the fandom name is silly.”

“I know” Donghun chuckled “you should know what mine is.”

Junhee fell silent and smiled.

“You’re not going to tell me.”

“I won’t.” Donghun said cheekily, feeling a lot more relaxed after a good cry that had somehow made him feel even closer to Junhee “Hit me for not telling you.”

“I won’t hit you, hyungie, you’re gonna make me pancakes.” Junhee grinned and Donghun cackled.

“Fair enough, I guess I can be excused.” He snorted as he started watching the other dance covers. They were all top-notch and Donghun seriously wanted to die. Junhee was truly an all-round musical person, his body and soul and heart exuded music and yet, he was sharing none of that with the world. He kind of understood Byeongkwan’s frustration now. No, scratch that. He was _totally_ siding with Byeongkwan now.

 

“Alright, you damn traitor, I’ll go make you some pancakes now.” Donghun snorted and softly rubbed Junhee’s hair as he got up from the floor. Junhee smiled at the gentle touch.

“Thank you, hyungie…” he mumbled softly “can I have the eyepatches again, please?”

“Sure.” Donghun said as he got up and went to get them before returning and helping him put them on.

“Much better.” Junhee smiled “Now I can pretend I’m not seeing because I don’t want to again.”

“Ah, yeah.” Donghun chuckled softly “Want music?”

“No, I think I can go without it this time.” Junhee said “We’ve had enough catharsis for the day, haven’t we?”

Donghun chortled.

 

(Screwed beyond all help, he was. He could not be saved at fucking all.)

 

“We sure did. I’ll be back in a bit… what drink do you want to go with them?”

“Hm… maybe milk?” Junhee suggested and Donghun nodded.

“Gotcha. If you need something, give a shout.” He said as he left for the kitchen and sighed deeply once he was out of earshot. He pulled his phone out of his pocket. Channie should be having his break soon. Donghun got the ingredients he’d need out first before getting his phone out to text him again. It’d feel like he didn’t have other friends but that wasn’t it. It was really that Yuchan was his best friend, the only one who knew he was gay and also the best at advice and kind words, despite being a little shit.

 

 

**My Baby Channie**

 

You could make a business out of fake papers

And acting skills

You’re really a genius

ily

7:21am

I’m the biggest idiot

I want to tell him who I am

But I just dnt fckn have the guts

I also accidentally told him I loved him lol

9:32am

He showed me his covers

Piano, guitar, vocals, dance

Everything’s flawless

I cried and got pissed

And made him cry too

Im the biggest fkn asshole

11:05am

 

 

Yuchan didn’t reply immediately but just as Donghun was about to pocket his phone thinking that they’d screwed him over and delayed his break he replied.

 

 

No need to thank me uwu

I do anything for my favourite hyung <3

11:06am

Oh hyungie :’( ur just shy, don’t feel bad

U cried together tho!

That coulda been worse rly!

I bet u went and comforted him

Bc ur a big softie uwu

So dont feel bad abt it, okay?

11:07am

You even told him u loved him fdkjhgkjd

11:07am

 

Donghun wasn’t just saying it when he said that Yuchan was the best at giving advice and saying the right thing even though everyone thought he was just a crackhead kid with nothing in his brain. That was a good front he had, now that Donghun thought about it. It made it easier to trust him.

 

I did do that

U know me too well

I hate to see him cry like

Really hate

11:08am

Also

11:08am

 

 

He leant against the counter and looked out the window at the overcast sky outside. There was no use hiding it, was there? Yuchan wouldn’t even be surprised anyway.

 

 

Yes, hyung?

;)

11:09am

 

 

See? He already knew. Donghun snorted mirthlessly.

 

 

You’re a little shit

Evil genius

But yea

Ur right

Im screwed

I think I have a real crush on him

Not a casual thing

And idk what to do abt it

11:10am

Haha I love how u know I knew!

Why r u saying ur screwed tho?

He literally told kwannie hyung ur dating lmao

11:10am

Yeah, out of panic

11:10am

Hes also Lee Donghun’s biggest fan! ;D

11:11am

The artist, not the man

The man is a damn idiot

11:11am

I’ll smack u if u diss my bff! >:(

The man is a caring sweetheart!

Who loves kisses and cuddles ùwú

It’s 11:11 again

So im wishing it!

It’ll be returned! Park Junhee will return Lee Donghun’s feelings! [praying hands emoji]

11:11am

 

Donghun snorted and shook his head at the cute positivity.

 

Thanks, baby

Wish I could hug u

Im in deep need of my cuddle fix

:’(

11:12am

Tell me where Park Junhee lives and I’ll meet u after work

With nuggets!

uwu

11:12am

U come downstairs of course

Im not an idiot lol

11:13am

Please and thank u

[Address sent]

I love you

11:13am

Im gonna make him pancakes now

Ttyl

-3-

11:14am

Whip the eggs well

Not as well as you are! ;D

11:14am

 

Donghun scoffed at the attack.

 

Shut up, you lil shit

Makin fun of your poor hyung :’(

11:15am

I love you, hyungie!! <3

UWU

11:16am

 

Donghun sighed and went on to, well, start whipping the egg whites and think about how whipped he was for a guy he’d met for real less than 3 days ago. How far gone he was that he couldn’t even find a way back to wherever he’d began.

Now that he thought about it, he’d been lost before. He was kind of finding somewhere now.

Somewhere warm.

Somewhere that made sense.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Breathe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4xbVLnUx_A)
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> (It's going to be a year in four days and I'm deep in my feelings, fam, not gonna lie to you.)


	12. The man, not the artist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun gets his cuddle fix. He finds out he's living a 2012 Western pop song and then braces himself to ask Junhee how he feels about Lee Donghun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, choice, my fam
> 
> im still not fully recovered (or not recovered at all, honestly idek what i have. maybe life is making me ill or some shit). that's not the reason why it's only the one chapter this week and when you reach the end of it, you'll see why and i hope you like it and don't feel like punching me (or do, punch me). i'll just tell you that this was already all planned out and wasn't out of the blue. i've been hella mean today already so i decided that being a lil shit too wouldn't be ooc for me on this day lmao sdghfjkhg no but srsly, i really hope you enjoy this and how im doing it. im not sure how many more chapters this'll have but i didn't want a rushed ending so it may have another handful of them, we'll see. it'll all depend on what i have to do to get where i want to get. anyway, enough stalling, i hope you enjoy this mess.
> 
> bye-bye.

* * *

 

Yuchan got there at around half past 3pm and laughed for five minutes straight after Donghun finished telling him all about the mess his life had become. Donghun had gotten a little upset the first couple seconds but then he’d started laughing too. That helped a lot, actually. He knew that Yuchan would laugh. He just knew and hearing him laugh so merrily and so heartily had seemed to return him some years of life he’d been losing everytime he said or did something extra gay to Junhee.

“I can’t, I’m sorry, hyung, oh God, please” there were literal tears running down his face and he tried to wipe them with his sleeve as Donghun chortled over the nuggets Yuchan had brought over “I can’t believe, I can’t believe you got so shy over making him pancakes!”

“I didn’t…” Donghun almost choked on a nugget and that was probably karma telling him to stop fucking lying “alright, maybe I did… but like, damn…” he clicked his tongue as he dipped a nugget on sour cream and took another bite of it “I’m so screwed.” He muttered looking down at the dip he’d put between his legs. He’d sat on a cold park bench with Yuchan eating the nuggets and drinking the Americano he’d brought to chase the nuggets down.

(Donghun was surprised to see that Yuchan had brought two boxes of nuggets even though Donghun would probably not even finish that one, since he’d been eating the pancakes a while back and was anxious. He’d said it was for Junhee, in case he wanted some too and he hadn’t even bought them. He’d just sneaked them out along with the coffee like the professional criminal he was.)

“Oh, hyungie…” Yuchan said with a small compassionate smile scooting over to put his arms around him. Donghun sniffled and leaned onto the touch, letting Yuchan pet his hair and rub his back “you’re not. You’re doing a great job.”

“This is all so… I don’t even know.” Donghun muttered as he finished his drink and closed the box of nuggets before putting it back in the take-away bag and chucking the rest of the dip inside the empty coffee cup and putting it aside.

“It’s weird, yet you feel comfortable doing it and he seems to be comfortable too, you kept repeating that. That’s how you feel about it.” Yuchan chortled scooting closer and hugging Donghun properly who thankfully returned the much-needed hug “And maybe you’re right.” He shrugged a little and Donghun pouted a little and huffed “That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, okay? He needed you and you were there for him, even though you didn’t know him… not for real anyway” he chuckled “and he just let you help him without knowing who you were either… he must have been really lost, like you said.”

“He was” Donghun confirmed with a slight nod, leaving his arms around Yuchan and letting him hug him, not giving a rat’s ass about the people walking by and looking at them. Fuck them, he could hug his best friend as much as he wanted, he wasn’t hurting anyone “he told me that, I, I told you that too… he was lost and…” he gulped and sniffled letting Yuchan pet his hair reassuringly “and he thinks he owes me his life or some shit.”

“Well” Yuchan sighed and snorted softly “he’s got his reasons, doesn’t he?”

“But he doesn’t owe me anything!” Donghun complained “I’m the one who, I’m… I owe him more than he owes me and… and…” he was about to start crying again and it wasn’t fucking pretty “fuck, why am I like this!? I shouldn’t be like this!” He scoffed and hid his head on Yuchan’s shoulder.

“It’s alright, hyungie, really. What do you owe him?”

Donghun hadn’t told him that bit and that was, obviously, the right thing to ask. Yuchan always knew what the right thing to ask was, the little genius boy.

“My, damn, my motivation to try again, you know, for real.” He muttered with a snort “Also, the push I needed to, to drop out of management.”

Yuchan chuckled and held him tighter.

“About time, hyung. It was paining me to see you being angstier about coursework than about the fries.” He grinned and Donghun snorted.

“Thanks” he said “I thought you’d, I don’t know, get surprised.”

“Oh hyung” Yuchan said cheekily “I don’t know how you could deal with it for almost two years, honestly. You were already like that when we met a year ago.” He chuckled “You looked like you wanted to be doing anything but study.”

“Well, that’s true.” Donghun snorted “I’d rather be on fries the whole year.” Yuchan cackled and Donghun chortled “Thanks, baby, I really… I thought you’d get upset.”

Yuchan snorted.

“Why would I? We don’t even have classes together, so you’re not really abandoning me.” He smiled “Plus, you do know I’m only getting this degree to shut my family up, don’t you?”

Donghun snorted and nodded a little.

“It baffles me, but yeah… top of the class and is only doing it to shut his family up. My best friend is a genius.” Donghun smiled a little looking up at him and getting a peck on the forehead which he very much appreciated “Thanks, I needed that.”

“I know.” Yuchan smiled “And I’m not a genius… well, I guess I’m not dumb.” He said with a shrug “I just study and get things right, I guess.” He added and Donghun chuckled still holding onto him, getting everything he could he get from his cuddle fix “And I think I’m right too when I say that you’re not screwed because of Park Junhee, really.”

Donghun sighed hopelessly.

“I mean it, hyung. Kwannie hyung is convinced that Junhee hyung has an actual crush on you.”

“ _On the singer_.” Donghun stubbornly repeated. Yuchan ignored the shit out of that for the umpteenth time. He didn’t even pretend to not be annoyed at it.

“ _And now_ he knows the man and doesn’t mind him washing his back, shaving his face and brushing his teeth and all that intimate ass stuff you’ve been doing” Yuchan reasoned with a cheeky smile “you even dyed his hair!”

“That’s not intimate.” Donghun contradicted and Yuchan chuckled.

“It’s a lot of trust though.” He said “What if you’d gotten bright green instead and turned him to an avocado?”

Donghun snorted at the joke before pursing his lips.

“He trusts me.” Donghun said with a huff “He really trusts my messy gay ass.”

“Yeah, I know, you told me why and look” Donghun did look at him and saw his soft reassuring smile and the sparkle in his eyes “he has all the reasons to trust you, Donghunnie hyung. You’re probably the most trustworthy person I know. You like to, like, goof around and tease, but you’re really, _really_ trustworthy. I’d say he’s more than right to say he won the lottery that night, finding you. He found the best guy in Seoul without even being able to see. He was so lucky, actually” he added with a chuckle “that he found his idol without even being able to see.”

Donghun chuckled and shook his head.

Yuchan was seriously giving him back years of life with his kind and reassuring words and Donghun sniffled before going for another tight hug that was promptly returned.

“You’re really…” he sniffled onto his shoulder “my lifeline. What would I do without you, Yuchannie?”

“Probably fill your head with bad stupid thoughts about yourself.” Yuchan said with a small huff “Seriously, hyung, you’re fretting over nothing. Do you really think he’ll get upset when he finds out it was you all along?”

“I don’t know…” Donghun sniffled getting away from the hug and wiping his wet eyes “I just don’t want him to cry, I, I’m so scared he’ll feel betrayed and hurt that I, that I lied to him or, not even lied, just hid that from him for, for absolutely no reason other than…”

“Than _nothing_.” Yuchan cut him off “You panicked, you were tired, you thought he’d be weirded out because of your silly comment under his picture but it turned out he’s your fan” he said, _again,_ (it was the third time he was saying that to him that afternoon, mind) “and then you thought it was too late to tell him that you’re _his_ Lee Donghun and, well, you’re a bit of an idiot _, yes,_ but I’m pretty sure that he won’t be upset when he finds out it’s really you… maybe he’ll be surprised, but not upset. You may have to explain yourself, so, like, be ready for that.” Yuchan kept going, _again_ “But please don’t get anxious over a bad reaction, because I can promise you that it won’t happen.”

“How can you, how can you be so sure?”

Yuchan chuckled.

“Put yourself in his shoes. Imagine that you’re him right now. You’re Lee Donghun, you hit your head and messed up your eyesight, Park Junhee is helping you out of the goodness of his heart without telling you it’s him.” He started and Donghun looked at him “Then your eyesight is back and you see him. How do you feel?”

Donghun fell silent trying to imagine it and realising that no, indeed he wouldn’t be upset. He would be surprised, sure, but not upset. At all.

“I’d feel surprised but not upset, yeah.” Donghun snorted “But what if it’s not the same for him?”

“Don’t think about that now.” Yuchan sighed “I’m pretty sure it’ll be more than alright. Now I gotta go because unlike you, I still need a degree since I don’t have another one to hold on to.” He said with a grin and Donghun snorted “And you got an ill _husband_ upstairs to go look after, don’t you?” He teased.

Donghun cringed and covered his eyes as Yuchan cackled. It sounded so much worse when someone else said it.

“God, you’re really a little shit, I can’t believe you actually said that when you know I’m actually falling headfirst for this man.” He complained and Yuchan snorted.

“Pretty sure you’re not the only one either.” He said putting on the mysterious air of a medium which made Donghun chuckle a little “Alright, but we really need to go.”

“We do.” Donghun said “Thanks for coming over and listening to me rant, baby, I, I really needed you.”

“Yeah, that’s why I came, hyungie. Also to check on you.” He smiled and Donghun smiled a little too “And you’re looking alright, also smelling great.”

“I smell just like Junhee.” He scoffed and Yuchan chortled “And these are his clothes…aside from the coat, that’s mine.”

“Already sharing clothes. You didn’t even invite me to the wedding.” He shook his head, fake-hurt and Donghun snorted throwing his head back and shaking his head. That little shit, _honestly._ “Okay, enough banter. Text me or call me, whichever you prefer.” Yuchan said and Donghun nodded as they both got up and Donghun grabbed the take-out bag “Another hug?” Yuchan smiled and Donghun nodded and they hugged tightly once again before parting “I hope that’s enough cuddle fix for my _baby hyung_.”

Donghun chuckled.

“It is, Channie, thanks, really. Text me when you’re home.”

“I will, don’t worry.” Yuchan said with a smile “See you later, hyungie!”

“Later, Channie.” He said and watched him walk away and to the other street where the bus stopped before sighing and smiling feeling like a whole load had been taken off his shoulders as he walked back to Junhee’s flat with the nuggets.

* * *

 

 

Junhee was lying on the couch on his back with the eyepatches like Donghun had left him. He was fully covered with the duvet, up to his chin. The lights were off aside from the dim floor lamp and the blinds of the windows were all shut. It was overcast and cold outside, but it was way too bright for it to be safe on Junhee’s eyes. Donghun walked back in with take-out bag and walked quietly to the kitchen where he left it before returning to the living room and standing there in silence like a damn fool staring at Junhee’s peaceful features. He watched the duvet rise and fall evenly and that hinted at the fact that he was indeed asleep. Donghun sighed softly and shrugged off his coat before hanging it one the hanger by the door where he’d left his shoes. There wasn’t much for him to do at that moment, so he decided to go and make himself useful by doing the laundry. Junhee had a small laundry room downstairs but the laundry was upstairs so Donghun walked up in silence, went to to the bathroom, grabbed the basket and his own dirty clothes and brought everything downstairs. He decided to wash the lights first and then the darks as the lights dried in the tumble drier, which Junhee also had.

Well, that was useful and all, but while the clothes washed, he had nothing to do again so he sighed and walked back into Junhee’s living room and sat on one of the armchairs beside the couch after unplugging his phone from the charger and the charger from the socket.

Honestly, he didn’t even want to check his social media. He was kind of scared of the feedback even though his fans seemed to be going nuts over his Exo Winter Album Covers Spree and how in love he sounded.

It was a damn mess.

He felt a lot more relaxed after talking things out with Yuchan and getting some healing hugs from him but that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t just sound like he was in love in his covers.

 

(His acting skills were flimsy at best, honestly.)

 

A part of him wanted to just tell Junhee who he was but the other, the winning one, the cowardly, pissbaby one, wanted him to say nothing. Yet, talking to Yuchan and with the possibility of Junhee not getting mad at him for, well, for being him and not telling him who he was, had made him at least want to ask Junhee how exactly he felt about Lee Donghun, aside from his love for his voice and dancing. He didn’t want to go all Carly Rae Jepsen on him and-

 

 _Fuck,_ he’d kind of done that, hadn’t he?

 

He’d given him his number on their first meeting and called him right away. He couldn’t believe he was living a 2012’s silly Western song. _Okay,_ no, calm down, don’t do that, Lee Donghun, it wasn’t because you found him hot that you gave him your number. He was crying and you panicked and wanted to help him feel better, you had no idea he was your fan, it was crazy, sure but-

 

**My Baby Channie**

I cant believe im carly rae Jepsen in 2012

4:51pm

I want to die

4:51pm

Fdhghfdghjgjfg

hyUNG!!

STOP! I just scared the lady beside me on the bus!

4:52pm

I dare u to cover that song!

Im gonna pass out lmfao

Im wheezing!

HEY, I JUST MET YOU AND THIS IS CRAZY!

I KNOW U CAN’T SEE ME!

BUT I’LL CALL YOU BABY!

4:53pm

 

Donghun snorted at the string of texts. He was making fun of him but at least it took it lightly.

 

Lmao itd be funnier if that wasn’t true

I wont cover that shit tho

Dare declined

4:53pm

It was a fun song tho lol

Don’t cover it, I was joking jfdhgkj

pls cover it w him when u finally get him to sing w u tho! dshfjgfhjsd

4:54pm

 

Donghun scoffed softly and shook his head.

 

The chances of that happening are like

As big as of him returning my messy feelings for him

4:54pm

Oh wow I can’t wait for the cover then! ;D

And im walking into my dorms now, hyung uwu

4:55pm

Good, glad to know ur safe

I wish I was as positive as u

4:55pm

Ur a secret Carly Rae Jepsen stan, I always knew lmao

4:56pm

Im just sure he doesn’t return my feelings

4:56pm

And I’m almost 100% sure he does

Why don’t u ask?

4:56pm

 

It was a really simple question, honestly. Donghun stared at the text and thought about how that was exactly what he’d just been thinking about doing. Yuchan was a damn mind-reader too.

 

Well, I might

4:57pm

Good! Tell me how it goes!

Ttyl hyungie

Gotta shower and then study!!

Love you <3

4:58pm

Yea, I’ll tell u

Love u too, bby -3-

4:59pm

 

 

Donghun pocketed his phone and sighed deeply, leaning back and closing his eyes. Before he could notice, his tiredness had made him doze off in an awkward position on the armchair and it was past 6 when he woke up again, feeling confused and kind of startled. It wasn’t a good nap. His neck felt stiff and he felt lost.

 

“Aish…” he groaned softly, massaging his sore neck.

 

“Hyung.” He heard Junhee’s soft, definitely healthier voice call him from the couch where he was still lying down and was startled by it too “You fell asleep… you’re probably tired of dealing with me, aren’t you?”

 

Donghun looked at him and didn’t see the trembling lip or any sort of emotion on his face. That was an honest question, but he wasn’t mad at him or sad – or he didn’t sound it anyway.

 

“Dealing with you?” Donghun asked with a small snort trying to clear the sleep out of his voice by clearing his throat. The nap had been bad but at least it’d numbed down his anxieties about his feelings for Junhee a tad “Do you really think I’d still be here, if this felt like a chore?”

 

Junhee didn’t reply immediately and then he smiled a little before the smile vanished. Donghun stared. He could almost see the storm inside Junhee’s brain and under his covered eyes even though he had no idea what it was about.

 

“Is there something you want to say?” Donghun asked trying not to sound aggressive because he didn’t feel aggressive. Just curious, probably. The anxiety was back, also.

 

“I don’t know…” Junhee sighed a little “all this… you being here, it’s all so… it’s strange but, like” he bit his lower lip and shrugged “it feels comfortable even though we barely know each other, like… we don’t know each other, or, or we didn’t until two days ago…” he continued pausing every now and then in what looked weirdly like him weighing his words “not for real anyway.”

 

“Hm.” Donghun backchanneled and leant back on the armchair looking at him “Yeah, that’s true. I already knew you from your videos and stuff, but not, like, I didn’t know _you_ ” Donghun sighed and closed his eyes, feeling his heartrate get faster _again_ “I didn’t know what you smelled like or that your liked back scrubs, I didn’t know you could get, like, really adorably shy when you always look so confident in your videos…” Donghun said feeling an awkwardness that he noticed at last was simply his big fat crush speaking for him. He groaned and clicked his tongue “this is some really weird shit to say, I’m sorry. Please don’t be –“

 

Junhee interrupted him though and his smile was finally back for real.

 

“It’s not weird, hyung.” He said confidently even though his cheeks were as pink as Donghun’s “I’m happy you’re telling me… that you’re telling me that… I can’t tell you why though.” His smile widened and Donghun opened his eyes noticing the tone and looked a him, raising an eyebrow.

 

 _Now,_ he hadn’t be expecting Junhee to be keeping something from him but that was exactly what it felt like.

 

“You can’t tell me why.”

 

“I can’t tell you why.” Junhee echoed smiling cheekily “Now we’re both hiding something, is what you’re thinking, right?” He asked with a little chuckle “But I could be bluffing to get you to tell me your secret.” He grinned and Donghun parted his lips and widened his eyes but said nothing for a solid five seconds.

 

His stress levels were over the damn roof. How could he ask how he felt about Lee Donghun? His courage had completely abandoned him.

 

“I don’t know what to say to you, but now I feel like I should be scared or something.” Donghun snorted and Junhee chortled.

 

“Not scared.” He assured with a smile “Now we’re even. You’re hiding something and so am I.”

 

Donghun was anxious anyway and his stress didn’t let him think properly.

 

“Uh, alright then… so, my friend brought some nuggets over and some dips too. Would you like that? I’ll make more soup but you can have the nuggets, if you, uh, if you’re feeling well enough for that.”

 

Junhee’s smile grew wider.

 

“Oh, I’d love some.” He said “Nuggets are probably my favourite food at this point.” He chuckled “Because they remind me of how we met.”

 

Donghun felt his face heat up and want the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

 

“Yeah and of how shitty my job is.” Donghun snorted trying to mask the stress “Want music?”

 

“Not really. Please turn on the TV though, I want to hear the news or something.” Junhee said and Donghun hummed as backchannel. That reminded him that he hadn’t been in on the news in the past couple days either he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV and zapped into a news channel “Thanks, that one’s good, hyung.”

“Alright. I’ll be in the kitchen then. Anything you need, give a shout.” Donghun said walking to the kitchen.

“I know, hyungie.” Junhee smiled in his general direction “You’re the best.”

“Just because I get you food, you rascal.” Donghun said as a smile crept onto his voice and he felt more comfortable again and heard Junhee laugh.

* * *

 

Okay, so he could pop the nuggets in the fryer later to make them good and crunchy again. He just needed to make the soup and more rice, which was relatively easy, especially because Junhee’s rice cooker was high quality.

He kept on thinking about what the fuck Junhee was hiding from him though.

 

He’d shared his life story with him earlier that afternoon after lunch.

His family and his sisters and basically his whole life. How he’d come across music, his inspirations, all the things, really. Donghun had done pretty much the same (leaving out the music part, obviously, because he was an idiot) but he’d told him about his parents and his brother and his cousins and his grandparents and they’d even exchanged some funny stories from their childhood. Donghun had even told that he’d accepted that he wasn’t straight when he was 15 and Junhee had laughed when he told him about his big gay love for 2pm and Super Junior. Then Junhee shared his tales of non-straightness too, but they were milder than Donghun’s. He just found boys as attractive as girls, as long as they were kind and respectful. A whole bisexual sweetheart, Donghun had said with a chuckle and Junhee had shrugged before having a random burst of energy remembering JYP hyungnim in the 90s in a white crop top and matching white short shorts and calling him a legend. Donghun almost choked because he didn’t remember seeing that on TV. He did remember JYP on TV as a kid but he didn’t remember that particular iconic moment so Junhee instructed him to look it up on youtube because the footage was there and Donghun feasted his eyes with the low quality clips of Park Jinyoung Hyungnim in the mighty year of 1996, performing ‘Blue City’ with a glorious haircut, hipthrusting left and right in that classic 90’s choreography, wearing D&G boxers, which were visible above his white short shorts which matched his tight white crop top.

Donghun had laughed so much he’d cried and Junhee had started laughing too. Donghun actually knew most of the words to the song so he sang along to some of the parts and Junhee sang the others as they both had a blast with the song and then had a marathon of old JYP footage. Junhee could only hear it but he was having a lot of fun anyway as Donghun lost his shit over the 90’s aesthetics. They agreed, however, that JYP hyungnim deserved to be the legend he was because he was truly iconic and overflowing with talent and had aged like a fine wine. He was still handsome even in his middle age years. Plus, if a man turning up in a crop top and short shorts in the 21st century didn’t sit well with many people, it was most definitely worse in the 90’s and he was sure a lot of people must have deemed him inappropriate and called him names.

After that Junhee had gotten sleepy again and said he wanted to sleep for a bit which was cool because Yuchan should be getting out of work and arriving soon. So Donghun told Junhee that his friend was coming to meet him and Junhee said it was alright and apologised for not meeting him too. Donghun had wanted to tell him he’d get other chances but didn’t and just kind of said ‘okay’ and sat down waiting for Junhee to fall asleep before going outside.

Well, meeting Yuchan had been everything he needed to calm down his restless mind and heart but now Junhee was hiding something from him too and he was back on his anxious bullshit.

* * *

 

Somehow, however, he managed to cook they soup and the rice before boiling water for the tea and getting a glass of water for the cold medicine and finally putting the nuggets in the frier to make them crunchy again.

They ate in silence as had become their habit after Donghun asked if the food was alright to which Junhee smiled happily and said that it was great. They had the news as background noise, though. Maybe it was because Junhee wasn’t seeing or something that they didn’t talk. Donghun wasn’t against meal time talks and it didn’t feel Junhee was.

 

Alright, he was overthinking.

 

He was _definitely_ overthinking, and even though he still wanted to ask him how he felt about Lee Donghun, his courage was seeping away like air out of a deflating life buoy and he was sinking in a sea of stress and stupidity.

 

Honestly, he couldn’t stop feeling stupid.

 

After dinner he gave Junhee all his meds before giving him the candy-like cough drop and getting the empty dishes to go wash them and put them away.

When he returned to the living room, he noticed that Junhee had leant back and had turned off the TV and chucked the remote onto the coffee table.

“Oh, you turned off the TV.”

“Yeah, we’ve heard the news already, what’s the point of it being on?” Junhee snorted and Donghun snorted and sat down on the armchair, putting his socked feet on the coffee table and sighing “Anything on your mind, hyung?” Junhee asked quietly and Donghun scoffed.

 

“A lot of shit on my mind.” He said without thinking and immediately regretting it as he felt his heart race.

 

“Any troublesome thoughts?”

 

“Yeah, actually… troublesome and, and…” he trailed off and gulped angrily rubbing his face not sure about what to do. It would definitely sound like he was interested in him if he asked about Lee Donghun like that, wouldn’t it? The last thing he wanted was for Junhee to be weirded out by him. If he couldn’t have him, he’d want to at least keep him as a friend when he eventually found out he was, well, Lee Donghun.

Yeah, sure, alright, what he felt for him was different from what he’d felt for his previous crushes (most definitely because of his youtube videos and the motivation he’d given him and then finding out he was all that and more) but if he rejected him, _Lee Donghun_ , he’d not be heartbroken. He’d feel sad, sure, but he’d want him as a friend anyway. Even if his feelings didn’t fade immediately, they eventually would because nothing lasted forever.

 

(Okay, so maybe his stress was filling his head with negative thoughts, but he was feeling lost.

Fucking sue him for all he cared.)

 

“Hyung, you may want to calm down before, before you have a heart attack or something.” Junhee asked half-joking from his look. He was smiling a little, but he sounded worried “I can feel your stress from here.”

 

Donghun groaned and hid his face in his hands.

 

Junhee had noticed, fucking hell.

 

“I just, I don’t want you to be… I don’t want you to be weirded out, alright?” He snapped a little and bit his lower lip, regretting the loud voice when he saw Junhee wince “Sorry I, I didn’t mean to raise my voice… this is just… I wouldn’t lay a finger on you without your consent.” He promised, uncovering his face and staring at him even though he couldn’t see him with his covered eyes.

 

“You told me that.” Junhee said gently “And I believe you. I also said, I told you I trust you, didn’t I?” Junhee asked and Donghun nodded with a huff.

 

“You did… yeah, you did.” He confirmed “My friend said that I’m a jackass but I’m trustworthy.” He chuckled mirthlessly, dreading what he wanted to ask.

 

“You’re not a jackass, I doubt your friend said that.” Junhee chuckled and Donghun snorted.

 

“You’re right, he didn’t say that, not with those words anyway. He just said I’m trustworthy and… and yeah, I like to think I am.”

 

“You are.”

 

“You met me 2 days ago, Junhee ya.” Donghun complained “I want to, I just want to convince you that you don’t owe me anything, like, if you owe me, then I owe you too.”

 

Junhee hummed and then shrugged.

 

“Alright, then I guess we owe each other.” He said with a small smile and Donghun looked at him with parted lips, but no sound came out, so he closed his mouth again before clenching his fists over his thighs and preparing himself mentally for what he was about to ask.

 

“We owe each other” Junhee repeated “but I owe you more.” He smiled and Donghun smacked his own thighs with his fists and rolled his eyes.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Park Junhee! You’re so fucking stubborn!” He exclaimed and Junhee chortled heartily “And he laughs!”

 

“Of course I laugh, hyung. You sound like you’re trying to convince me that you owe me more than I owe you which simply is not true!”

 

“We agreed that you’d also help a stranger in need.” Donghun countered “And you weren’t even a real, _fuck_ , I’m stumbling on my words” he huffed and Junhee chuckled again “don’t laugh, dork! You weren’t really a stranger, and okay, fine, yes, I would help out anyone in that situation, but so would you.”

 

“I would but it was you who helped me and not the other way around” Junhee said and Donghun’s stress was being quickly replaced with frustration at Junhee’s stubbornness “I’m sorry, hyung, but I’m right.”

 

“You are right” Donghun complained “but that’s not the damn point, the point is that I already knew you and I’d been watching your videos and, and getting motivated by them like, I’ve been in this damn degree for almost two years, never finding the courage to drop out and your videos and attitude just, they just made me decide to fucking drop out.” He said with a huff “That’s the first thing I’ll do on Monday. I’ll strut right into the student support room and officially drop out.”

 

“I’m glad” Junhee smiled from ear to ear “I can’t, I have no words to express how happy that makes me, to know I helped you, too.” He said and sighed deeply.

 

“Well, yes. So there it is, you don’t owe me more than I owe you.”

 

“Alright.” Junhee said quietly “But is that all?”

 

“What?”

 

“It that all that’s troubling you, hyung?”

 

Donghun bit his lower lip and inhaled before exhaling and shaking his head.

 

“No” he said, simply, truthfully, feeling less anxious after that small quarrel “that’s not all.”

 

“Can I know what else is troubling you, then?”

 

Donghun braced himself and fisted his hands over his thighs again.

 

“I, uh, this is why I said I didn’t want to weird you out like… ah” he sighed deeply and felt his fist shake as his heartrate increased “I want to ask you what, what exactly you feel for, for Lee Donghun.” He swallowed hard “The man, not the artist.” He clarified.

 

Then he fell silent staring at Junhee with bated breath as he took his sweet time to respond (or maybe it wasn’t that long but one minute, when you’re stressed like that, feels like ten years.

Ten years that you lose from your natural life-span, mind).

 

“I don’t know” Junhee finally said, quietly and then he smiled a little after a small gulp “what does Lee Donghun feel about Park Junhee? The man, not the artist or, or the failed DIY youtuber.”

 

Donghun felt his heart stop as the blood drained from his face as his eyes widened.

 

Junhee knew.

 

_He knew he was Lee Donghun._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [JYP Hyungnim, '96, Blue City](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QotnvGKCutU)
> 
>  
> 
> [Call me maybe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWNaR-rxAic)


	13. Cheeky Nose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since when did Junhee know?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, there, choice, fam, homies
> 
> i hope you've had a great week even if you don't celebrate christmas. if u do, i hope u ate a lot of good stuff and got a lot of nice gifts! <3  
> I'll reply to the comments after I post the two chapters I got somewhat ready for week (sorry about the typos and stuff, fam, ughh) but I've read through the comments and this chapter was already supposed to happen just not in such detail I guess. apparently many ppl didn't SEE that coming! jkfhgdfjkghd Thank you all so much for sticking around though, I'm gonna say it here too because: I can. I'll reply to them after I post the chapters and then flee for another week, i guess hgkjdf Anyway, this here chapter is from Jun's POV and I hope you dig it. sorry if it's messy but i'll excuse myself by saying that his mind too is a mess at this point in the fic's timeline so dfkjhgkdjfhgkjdf no, really, sorry if sth doesn't make sense and feel free to point it out. 
> 
> more notes in the next chapter!

* * *

 

When you hear someone’s voice every single day for about two years multiple times, it’s hard to mistake it for someone else’s voice. Junhee had recognised _that_ McDonald’s employee’s voice as Lee Donghun’s immediately, even in the state he was in. Then he’d said he didn’t know him and, for a little while, he believed it was just a mad coincidence that someone happened to have a voice eerily similar with one of his favourite voices in the world and was offering to help him out.

(Maybe something out there wanted him alive and smiling, he’d thought wildly, instead of frozen and dead in a ditch.)

Then he’d started thinking that maybe _the Stranger_ was lying about not knowing him, because even in his almost freezing state, he felt like he was hiding something from the way he was responding and evading questions. Lee Donghun would know who he was, even if just from vaguely recognising him from Instagram or something. He’d even pulled off his shades to show him his whole face and let him have a clear view of it, even with the taped eyes, he’d be recognisable like that. Still, the Stubborn McDonald’s Minion hadn’t reacted even after giving him his own coat.

 

(Or maybe he had reacted, but since Junhee couldn’t see it, he couldn’t know.)

 

Then, in his painful haze and dream-like mind, he’d decided to go and ask if he could feel his face to “ _To check if you can really tell what a person looks like by touching their face”,_ since he kept on being negative and calling himself ugly and kept dissing himself whenever he brought up Lee Donghun.

 

(Honestly, only the person themselves would be that mean about themselves.)

 

Well, to put it very bluntly, Junhee knew it was Lee Donghun from the moment he felt his cheeks and his nose. He’d recognise that nose and cheeks anywhere, and apparently with his freezing hands as well.  It was true. You could really tell what someone looked like by touching their face.

Why hadn’t he told him he knew? Well, maybe because it’d sound a bit creepy and even in his dazed state, he knew that.

 

(Then he’d gone and said something dumb about him getting his nose done, because he didn’t believe that someone could have such a good nose without going under the knife, but it was real. It was real, and he’d loved Donghun’s laugh and the caramel scent he felt on his breath as he laughed in his direction.

Anyway.)

 

It still felt like a dream when he’d just broken down and cried in Donghun’s arms as he felt the terror of having to be completely alone in the darkness, he just knew that he was the fan of someone amazing. At that moment, he didn’t know that Donghun actually knew what kind of stuff he posted and thought that Yuchan had really been the one to make them mutuals. Honestly, though what did that matter? Donghun had cried with and for him that night and that wasn’t something you can just go and fake.

Then he’d done more (of course he had, he was Lee Donghun). He clearly didn’t know that Junhee was his fan but when he did tell him that (and the silly cutie had said ‘Yes?’ when he’d called his name as he told him the name of the voice that relaxed him, because that was his name _, obviously_ , Junhee had almost started laughing but somehow hadn’t). Donghun had asked him what his favourite was but he didn’t want to tell him it was still Breathe after all those years, especially because he wasn’t in the mood for it, so he’d just told him the truth, that he liked all of them.

That’s when he thought he really was dreaming because Donghun, after all his effort to conceal his identity, had gone and said there was a cover of Sing for You (something they’d been talking about as Donghun went home with him on the phone to keep him company).

Junhee was already pretty much sure that it was Lee Donghun he was talking to, by some serendipitous force of the universe who didn’t want him dead in the streets that night, but actually getting him to go and sing a song for him for no other reason other than that he’d said he liked it, it was a whole different thing. He’d been rendered speechless by how amazingly smooth it’d been, he hadn’t cracked at all and it could potentially pass for something that was being played from youtube, but really. _Really._ Junhee was dazed, sedated, airy and in pain, not deaf and clueless. He knew the difference between someone singing directly to the phone and someone playing a video on the computer.

Still, Lee Donghun wasn’t telling him who he was for whatever reason and Junhee decided to roll with it. He’d probably not call him again and if he didn’t, he wouldn’t bother him, obviously. Donghun had already done plenty for him. Then Donghun had given him his number and called him immediately to make sure he’d be alright. That was already hint enough of the kind of person he was in real life.

The next day he’d called him while he was having an anxiety attack while feeling like he was going to freeze to death even though he burning up, and his head felt like it was going to explode.

That’s when Junhee knew he was for real and really just wanted to help him.

 

(Okay, so he’d thought it was out of pity, but Donghun had gotten mad at that and explained that to him thoroughly, which had made him feel a little guilty about assuming but very happy that he was doing it just because he wanted.)

 

Junhee couldn’t believe how gentle and kind Lee Donghun actually was.

 

He passed off this aloof image in his videos that was always betrayed by the passion in his voice and the fluidity of his movements and his smile as he danced but was solidified by the lukewarm twitter posts and the generic and sporadic Instagram posts. Lee Donghun was an interesting person and Junhee had taken a great deal of time trying to figure out the true nature of the artist he loved and really hadn’t gotten very far, until the silly pictures Yuchan had posted of them.

Well, judge him. Everyone does that every now and then, don’t they? Looking at body language, overanalysing words, checking for signs of tiredness, etc., etc.

 

(You’re lying, if you say you’ve never done that!)

 

Then he’d somehow, miraculously, in a very outlandish way, had met the man he’d been admiring through the screen of his computers and phone for years. With the only catch that he couldn’t actually see him, and he wasn’t telling it was him.

He was taking care of him as if he was one of his own, like he was his friend or a family member, with all the care and respect Junhee definitely wouldn’t have asked for but was eternally grateful for. He’d even gone and wildly sang for him in person, in the same room, for no other reason other than he wanted to do that and probably couldn’t care about blowing his cover or thought that Junhee was too high and airy to know he was singing right there for him.

 

(He had made a mental note to ask him why, mind.)

 

Did he deserve that? Maybe he did.

 

He hadn’t hurt anyone (aside from himself, mind) and he was doing what he could to make as many people as he could happy in his stead. So, yes, maybe he deserved to be treated right. Lee Donghun, though, had been treating him like he was the most precious person in the world and even though he got pissy often and insulted him mildly when he was doing something silly, and didn’t like his jokes for the most part (even though he laughed at them, mind), he figured him out at last. Lee Donghun was a genuinely sweet person with the most adorable personality gap. In other words, he acted mean sometimes and tried to make light of the nice things he did, but he was one of the rarest pokemon (also known as ‘a good man’).

 

Lee Donghun stuck with him and helped him in every way he could. He made him laugh, he helped him in the bathroom, he cooked for him, he cleaned up for him (and he’d even done his laundry). He did everything for him and when he finally confessed that he knew him and was a fan of his videos as well, that they’d motivated him greatly, he finally understood that he was just giving back something he really didn’t have to. He’d been giving Junhee peace of mind for two years, honestly, who owed whom the most? Maybe he’d drop out of that degree he wasn’t liking eventually without his push but Junhee would have definitely not kept going strong without him for the past two years.

Of course, Junhee hadn’t abandoned music. He played every single day until late in the night and sometimes into the early morning and recorded covers, too, but he wasn’t doing anything to go after his dream aside from practicing and practicing and practicing. Which was a good thing to do, really, but it was thanks to Lee Donghun’s covers that he kept going strong. They seemed to have similar tastes in music and Junhee wanted to keep up with him. It didn’t matter what that stubborn dork said about him not playing instruments, really. He could use his voice and his body perfectly, better than Junhee himself in his _perhaps_ biased opinion, and he’d fight anyone who disagreed, even Donghun himself, despite not wanting him to get pissed at him and leave.

 

The conversation with Byeongkwan on the phone the previous night had been a disaster, really and Junhee had felt like crying in his panic. Byeongkwan kept pressing him and pressing him to tell him who was with him and then to talk to Lee Donghun, not knowing they were the same person, and then he’d gone and asked if he was having, quote ‘a fling with some random dude’ and he’d felt so overwhelmed by the attack on his principles that he’d panicked and told his friend that Lee Donghun was his boyfriend, knowing damn well that it was him, that he could be weirded out and leave, that that could fuck everything up.

 _‘You’ll be surprised!’_ , he’d said as he tried not to burst into tears feeling Donghun’s silent shocked stare on him. Then he’d messily tried to apologise after he heard the click of the ended call but Donghun, once again, proved to be just the person he needed and didn’t know and reassured him. He even told him he wasn’t straight and pretty much squashed his anxiety with a lighthearted-sounding open conversation that ended up with Junhee confessing that he wasn’t straight either, even though he’d never gotten together with another man. Then Donghun had playfully _promoted_ them to husbands as he broke personal barriers of intimacy that Junhee had never broken with anybody before, but was too high on his meds to think too much about. The only thing on his mind was that Byeongkwan thought he had a boyfriend, who was none other than Lee Donghun himself, the guy he kept pestering him to contact.

 

Then they’d had that moment where they’d both burst into tears and Junhee had almost yelled that he knew who he was, but his throat was hurting, and he could barely speak, overwhelmed by Donghun’s tears and the fact that he’d caused them and couldn’t do anything about them.

 

Junhee had never been in love, he hadn’t, no.

Really.

He didn’t think he had.

 

His greatest love had always been music and his family, and he’d had to pick music for the sake of himself. When he’d broken up with his girlfriend of three years, he’d been a little bummed, but they’d broken up on good terms, both agreeing that Junhee’s heart wasn’t in the right place and he clearly didn’t feel the same for her as she felt for him. She was already thinking about marriage and that was the last thing on Junhee’s mind, really. He wanted to make many people happy, not just one person.

 

Well, maybe he had a bit of a crush now, one that didn’t stray very much from music.

 

 _‘Why would I do that!?’_ he’d annoyedly asked when Donghun had told him he’d pretended to be him and replied to Byeongkwan’s texts where he kept pestering him to contact Lee Donghun, who was right there by his side, helping him dye his hair. He could only imagine the effort Donghun was making not to start yelling or something (Junhee sure would feel like yelling, if he was him, mind).

Still, Junhee didn’t know why Donghun wasn’t telling him it was him even after telling him he was also a youtuber and that he knew who he was and confirming that it was because his voice was ‘similar’ to the voice of an artist Junhee loved that he was hiding his identity. Junhee had a vague idea as to why he himself wasn’t telling him he knew – he didn’t want to creep him away.

 

(Well, even so, when they finally cleared everything up, maybe he’d get pissy at him, but Junhee would make sure to ask if he thought he was really an idiot who couldn’t put 2 and 2 together and figure out his identity without him having to tell him.)

 

Well, it was all of that and basically, Junhee knew who he was from the get-go, he’d just played along and pretended he didn’t because he should have his reasons to be hiding his identity and he was curious, but he didn’t want to scare him off.

Also – and that bit was a bit of him being cheeky – Junhee was a laughy person with an easy smile, sure, but that little dance he and Donghun had going amused him especially and he just couldn’t stop smiling. It was silly and curious at the same time.

 

Then that Saturday afternoon had come, and they’d had a heart to heart (where Donghun had purposely left out anything music-related which had amused Junhee a great deal) and when they talked about Junhee’s ‘iconic crop top and short shorts video’, Junhee had randomly remembered JYP in the 90’s being way ahead of his time and busting some sick moves while wearing that iconic fit. Donghun’s hearty laugh had infected Junhee who’d had a couple small coughing fits and had to sit down to laugh more. Then for some reason, in his glee, Donghun had started singing and honestly, if he was trying to hide his identity for real, he was really the worst actor in the world, because he didn’t even try to sing poorly. That was Lee Donghun singing with his singing voice which prompted Junhee to sing along with him. He’d wanted to sing with him for quite a while, actually.

That thought, however, made his joy die out a little, because he doubted that it’d happen.

He was really terrified Donghun would scurry away when he revealed to him that he’d known it was him all along. He was scared because he was starting to feel things for him. Things he’d never felt for anyone before. The kind of stuff that starts as a small shoot of some plant and needs to be tended carefully in order to bloom into something healthy and beautiful.

 

His closed eyes stung with the threat of tears and he’d pretended to be sleepy so that he could be excused and lie back in silence as Donghun went down to meet his co-worker (Junhee had no idea who it was but that hardly mattered). So, Donghun had left the flat when he successfully pretended to fall asleep after promising not to be reckless.

 

He was scared, sure, but he wanted to ask him.

 

He wanted to know what he felt about him, why he’d been hiding his identity from him, why he was being so careful with him, and he just…

 

That’s when he heard his own phone buzz somewhere on the coffee table and cussed under his breath.

“Shit…” He muttered as he pulled the duvet back and sat up, clumsily feeling about the coffee table until he found the device, almost knocking his laptop off the dreadful table (which would _definitely_ go when he got his eyesight back. He’d make a new fucking one, if he had to, and injury-proof it.). How could he know who it was?

“Fuck…” He huffed as he pulled off the eyepatches and put them on his thigh, opening his eyes, since he knew it was dark in the room. He couldn’t see for shit yet. Shadows and slivers of light. That was all he could see. He looked at his phone’s screen and saw a faint glow, but he couldn’t read the name of the person who’d texted him “shit…” he kept on cussing as he taped about the screen trying to call whoever had texted him. He heard the familiar ring of the call and brought the phone hastily to his ear. After three or four rings the call connected.

“Hi!” He said cheerfully, having no clue who the fuck it was but it was always a safe go to greet someone with a confident ‘hi!’.

“Hyung?” It was Byeongkwan and Junhee sighed deeply, bringing the phone to his chest so that he wouldn’t hear it “Why are you calling me? I just texted you, you could have just replied.”

Junhee started chuckling and sighed.

 

(Well, if the concealed truths were all going to hell that afternoon, he might as well go ahead and start with Byeongkwan, one of his best friends.)

 

“Actually, I couldn’t.” He snorted “Not very well anyway. It would make no sense.”

There was a pause.

“What do you mean, hyung?”

“I mean that, ah” he sighed softly “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this earlier, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Another pause.

“Okay, now I’m worried.”

“I’m getting better, so don’t be, please.” Junhee said “Hear my voice? Sounds better right?”

“It does but you sound like you, I don’t know, a cold isn’t something too serious but you sound like you were hiding something.”

“I was” Junhee confirmed “I hit my head, messed up my optical nerves and lost my eyesight. It’s, it’s only temporary though, really. I’m already seeing shadows, and hyung is taking good care of me.”

Another pause.

“So, you’re… you’re blind?” He sounded worried still “But you got your hyung there and he’s taking care of you, okay… hyung, you should have said something.”

“I didn’t want to worry you.” Junhee repeated.

“Yeah, but if you’d told me you had someone around, we wouldn’t be worried… Sehyoonie hyung is staring at me in shock… so, who texted me this afternoon?”

“It was him.”

“Okay… it sounded an awful lot like you when you’re trying to discard someone, so I’d have never been able to tell.” He snorted mirthlessly “Did you tell him to write?”

Junhee fell silent for a moment, wondering what Donghun had written since he’d only summarised what he’d written.

“No, I was asleep…” he paused “what did he say?”

Byeongkwan paused too before sighing.

“Um… he said he was someone I know and that he didn’t know if your thing would last long.”

“Fuck…” Junhee muttered covered his eyes with his hands out of habit.

“Is everything alright between the two of you?” Byeongkwan asked bluntly and Junhee huffed and sniffled, biting his lower lip.

“Look, um, when you, when you were pushing me to talk to Lee Donghun and tell you who I had over I, I kind of panicked and, well, we’re not really dating. There’s just, there’s nothing going on between the two of us aside from him helping me out but you…”

“Oh, damn…” Byeongkwan interrupted him and the guilt was clear in his voice “I’m so sorry, hyung, I was tired and messy… shit, please don’t tell me that messed everything up between you two.”

“No, don’t worry! Somehow it didn’t, it brought us closer actually.” Junhee chuckled nervously “But, but you won’t believe this but, but it’s Lee Donghun.”

The pause was longer this time and marked by choking from both Byeongkwan and Sehyoon, who sounded like they were eating something.

“It’s who, now!?”

“Yeah, I know, it’s crazy but, but it’s him… we met on the night I got hurt and he’s been helping me ever since.”

“Oh God, but, but like, hold on, Jesus Christ” Byeongkwan tried to breathe “thanks, hyungie… I’m good” Sehyoon seemed to have smacked his back to make him spit whatever he was choking on “but you didn’t even know him! Or did you!?”

“No, I didn’t. I only knew his content.” Junhee quickly confirmed “But, but apparently he knew me and my videos as well and like, he’s been helping me out.”

A pause marked by heavy breathing.

“That explains the covers he’s been posting, oh God…” Byeongkwan scoffed “he sounds so whipped.”

Junhee felt his face heat up.

“What do you mean?”

“He keeps talking about a special person he’s singing for and, and singing songs you like.”

Junhee didn’t know he’d been posting the songs he’d been singing for him. It didn’t take a genius to know why he was doing that, though. Junhee could ask to listen to the covers again and where would they be? Yeah. That’s right. Donghun was bad at hiding his identity, but he wasn’t an idiot.

“You still there, hyung?”

“Yeah, I’m still here, sorry… I was just thinking” he said with a deep sigh.

“That’s why you didn’t want to tell me who he was, because you didn’t think I’d believe.” Byeongkwan assumed and Junhee rolled with it.

“Yeah, well, would you believe it?”

Byeongkwan snorted.

“Not really. You’ve been avoiding talking to him for two years, of course I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah.”

“Fate was with you that night then… and Yuchannie was definitely in on it, that lil rascal.” He chortled “He pretended not to know anything and I just ranted to him about you, sorry about that, hyung.”

 _Yuchan._ That was probably the friend Donghun was meeting downstairs.

“That’s fine. Yuchan he, he works with him, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, he does,” Byeongkwan confirmed and Junhee smiled “and I guess it is… I think he was just trying to get more info about you, since you clam up and say nothing sometimes.” He accused.

“I’m sorry.” Junhee sighed.

“You should be. Now that, like, the shock has passed, I’m happy you met him” he could hear the smile on his voice “have you shown him your music?”

Junhee sighed.

“Well, yeah, after you kept insisting I was, like, starting to get pissed and complained that you thought he’d want to, to like magically collab with me after seeing my content and he said” okay no, he couldn’t tell him Donghun hadn’t told him it was him yet, that was way too whacky “he said I wouldn’t know until I showed him, so I did and… well” he sighed after tweaking the truth just a tad “then he got mad at me for not posting my stuff as well, you know? He already knew me as well, have I told you that?”

“You have.”

“Sorry, these meds are really strong and my head’s a mess” he sighed and ruffled his hair “um, yeah, so he got mad and, and started crying and then I, I started crying too” and there the tears were again, choking him up “but he, he came over and ap-apologised and said, he, he didn’t want to see me, to see me crying and, well it was a piece of shit moment but I guess it brought us, it helped us become closer…” he chuckled through his tears, realising that they kept bonding through bad emotions “and then I showed him my dance covers and, and they made the mood lighter” he chuckled again “I gotta, I gotta show you my cover of HyunA’s Red in those heels.”

There was a long pause as Byeongkwan clearly waited for him to keep going but that was it.

“I definitely want to see that cover. And I see… well, that’s a mess” it was Sehyoon who spoke and it seemed like Byeongkwan had put him on loudspeaker “but it feels like, uh, like Donghun-ssi wouldn’t mind singing with you, Junhee ya, so I think that if nothing else comes out of that, you can at least sing with him. You’ve wanted that for a long time.”

Sehyoon’s advice always came out of the blue and always sounded like some sort of voice from above.

“Sehyoonie hyung is right, Junhee hyung” Byeongkwan said with the reverence his boyfriend’s advice deserved “you’ve wanted that for a long time, so you should try something.”

“He seems to be as into it as you are, Junhee ya. I think it all boils down to either of you coming forward and making it happen.” Sehyoon said softly “I think your voices would go really well together.”

“Again, hyungie is right, Junhee hyung” Byeongkwan said with a clear smile in his voice “your voices were made to harmonise.”

“Oh, don’t put it like that.” Junhee complained feeling his whole face burn up. They were making it sound so fated and so beautiful and they didn’t even know how messy that whole shit was “I can’t even see at the moment, the, the phone’s screen is a vaguely white blur and, I can’t even get strong eyes on my lights” that had come out wrong and his friends chuckled which made him chuckle too “sorry, strong lights on my eyes is what I meant.”

“You’ll get better soon, hyung” Byeongkwan chuckled “I’m glad you met him that night and, well, you’ll have to explain that to me at some point but we gotta go now.”

“Yeah, okay. When, when this mess is all solved, then I can tell you everything.”

“It’s hard to imagine though, just this and you can hang up, Kwannie” Sehyoon said “it’s hard to imagine him coming up to you and saying ‘hey, I know you from youtube, do you need help?’. Sounds kind of weird, doesn’t it? He doesn’t look the type to do that.”

Junhee opened his mouth and then closed it before he managed a reply.

“It, it does… and, uh, that’s not what happened. I’ll tell you guys everything when, I don’t know, when I get my eyes back.”

“Careful with the strong eyes on your lights, hyung.” Byeongkwan joked and Junhee chuckled “Okay, talk later. Bye.”

“Bye, Junhee ya.”

“Bye to both of you, good luck.” Junhee said and waited for Byeongkwan to hang up before putting the phone back on the table and sighing deeply.

“ _Fuck._ ” He muttered as he felt about for his laptop and pulled it to himself. It was open and Junhee could vaguely see the glow of the screen, so it was probably working. He decided to fumble about and try to get the voice recognition to work so that he could hear the youtube versions of the songs Donghun had sang for him.

After a couple of failed attempts, he finally managed to get the damn computer to play the songs. Lee Donghun wasn’t talkative in his videos but, from the get go, you could tell that something was different about this one and even though Junhee couldn’t see shit of it, he could hear the heated voice and how overwhelmed he was:

 

“ _Hello, Hunnies. I’m singing this song for a special person who, who motivates me a lot. It didn’t mean this much to me before and now_ ” he paused “ _well, it’s a song I’m singing especially for a person I really admire and, yeah, that’s it. I hope you enjoy it.”_

 

‘A Special Person he admired’ he’d called him before breaking into song. It was amazing and Junhee couldn’t help the emotions bubbling out of his blind eyes. ‘Who motivates me a lot’, since the very beginning that’d been how he’d felt.

He really felt like he owed him. Lee Donghun, _why?_

It was so raw and different from his usual careful stuff. He was passionate, usually, but in this video the editing of the audio had been minimal and it sounded perfect anyway. Junhee wanted _Unfair_ next and fumbled a bit more the reach it. Since he knew youtube well, he found it easily. It started with a long intro:

 

 _“Hello Hunnies. I’m not in my bedroom today as you can tell. I’m at a special friend’s place and, uh, my friend is sleeping right now.”_ He paused _“This will be a surprise, kind of gift, for my friend, I guess, and I believe that my friend won’t mind me using this stuff here. And I hope that you enjoy it too even though this is for my friend. I’ll be singing ‘Unfair’ by Exo. Yes, I guess I’m on an Exo Winter Albums mood.”_ He chuckled a little “ _Am I the only who thinks their winter albums are like Korea’s Michael Bublé in December? Anyway, enjoy.”_

 

Junhee covered his mouth because that was _his_ recording equipment, he could tell because he knew what it sounded like and it had to be his, and he most definitely wasn’t bothered by the gift and him using it while he was sleeping. He couldn’t stop the damn water streaming down his cheeks as he heard the upbeat, yet emotion-ladden song he was singing (and also, yes, he agreed that EXO’s winter albums were like Korean Michael Bublé, only better).

 

When the song stopped playing, he closed the lid of the laptop and put the eyepatches back on before lying back on the couch and covering himself with the duvet again and swallowing a sob.

He wanted, _so bad_ , to give Donghun the tightest possible hug.

Sure, alright, maybe he was falling for him, but right then, that wasn’t important. Right then he just wanted to get to know him better, he wanted them to become friends, he didn’t want to let him go. He wanted to sit and listen to him talk openly about his life and his friends and his interests and music, and then share more stuff about himself, if he wanted. He just wanted Lee Donghun in his life.

“Let me have him, even if it’s just as a friend, please” he muttered trying to wipe his face on the duvet so that Donghun wouldn’t know he’d been crying again.

When the chance presented itself, he’d send his fears to hell and grab it.

That was a promise.

He just didn’t know it’d come that very day without giving him time to really get ready for it.

* * *

 


	14. Communication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun and Jun finally have a real heart to heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> henlo again! still the same day lmao 
> 
> forgot to say this in the previous notes but hey, sehyoonie finally spoke some! hahaha I'd been dying to make him talk, ngl. anyway, yea, so basically this chapter concludes the whole hidden truths mess and the next couple chapters will be SPOILER ALERT probably very fluffy and shit because i have no self-control and i believe that escapism is good. life is bad enough, we dont need angst in fiction and there arent enough fluffy a.c.e fics out here, sadly. i hope u dig this one as well and that u also dig the next couple chapters. im counting on another two and they may get long idk let me know things.
> 
> (I should add unreliable narrator to the tags shouldn't i? hmmmm, i think i won't hahahaha for future ppl who might want to read this to be surprised too i guess idk)
> 
> Anyway, we won't be talking about before 2019 so Imma just go ahead a wish all of you a wonderful new year and that you can do everything you want to do. My advice is the advice i'm always given: take it easy and go at your own pace. don't try to keep up with others, because you're you not them, and comparing yourself to others tends to hinder your own self-growth. and yeah, who's getting overly emotional in the notes? that's right. im sorry, i just had to put that out there, in case you need it, fam.
> 
> see you next year haha bye bye! <3

* * *

 

“You know I’m Lee Donghun.” Donghun said after a very solid 2 minutes of staring and cold sweating “You know.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You know.”

 

“Yes, I know.”

 

“You know.”

 

“Hyung” Junhee chuckled “calm down, please, I’m not calm either, I just… I just, it was a little while ago that I decided to let you know that, well, that I knew I didn’t, I didn’t think it’d be this quick. But please, please calm down.”

 

“You know.”

 

Junhee chortled a little and Donghun kept staring at him, shaking and sweating not knowing how to react, completely glued to the armchair.

 

“You sound like a scratched record, hyung, please, I didn’t, I didn’t think I’d laugh” he chortled “did you really think I wouldn’t know?”

 

Donghun didn’t respond and Junhee sighed.

 

“I want an answer to that” he requested “did you really think I was that much of an idiot that I wouldn’t know?”

 

“No!” Donghun blurted out suddenly, the seriousness of the question making him finally snap out of his panicked scratched record state “No, no, that wasn’t… I just, I’m, I…” nope, no coherency “fuck, I can’t, I don’t know what to say.” He covered his face with both hands “Since when?”

 

Junhee chuckled.

 

“Since I touched your face at the taxi stop” he said and Donghun uncovered his face and widened his eyes at him “I’d recognise your nose and cheeks anywhere, even, even without seeing.”

 

Holy _shit_. Donghun wanted to explode.

 

“Why didn’t, wha-“ Donghun breathed in and out and closed his eyes a moment as he tried to catch his words again “okay, alright. Okay.”

 

“Yeah, and I didn’t tell you because, well” Junhee sighed “it’d be kind of creepy, wouldn’t it? Me, touching your face was already weird enough, I don’t know…” he paused and huffed “I thought it’d be weirder if I’d just gone and told you I knew it was you.”

 

Donghun stared because suddenly it all made sense to him to.

 

It would sound creepy. _Yes_. That was the reason why he hadn’t told him. That and the whole chaotic gay moment on Instagram but the difference was the same, wasn’t it?

 

Well, it hardly mattered now that the truth was out.

 

“I… well, maybe I’d have been surprised that you knew me” Donghun managed “but, well, uh, I guess I didn’t want to tell you because, for those reasons. Yeah, I thought I’d sound like a creep, especially since you’d lost your eyesight and all, yeah, that mess.”

 

Silence fell between them, it wasn’t awkward, but it was loaded.

 

“It wouldn’t have been creepy since, since we knew each other… sort of.” Junhee said with a little chuckle “And then, then you sang for me… twice. Why?”

 

“It wouldn’t.” Donghun confirmed with a sigh worth a thousand years “But I just, aish, I feel so dumb now. I sang for you because, I, fuck” he huffed, feeling like his soul was escaping his body “I just wanted to make you, to make you smile and, and you like my voice for some reason so I just… sang songs for you.” He admitted, defeated.

 

Junhee didn’t respond immediately and his lower lip trembled a little.

 

“I can’t thank you enough for that, hyung.” Junhee sniffled and smiled before sighing “I talked to Kwannie and Sehyoon hyung earlier and, and they already know I was lying about us dating.”

 

Donghun sighed.

 

“Well, that’s another lie out of the way.”

 

“I don’t think we were lying, Donghun hyung” Junhee smiled and his cheeks got rosy when he said his name. Donghun felt his own face get dumbly warm. It was just his damn name “we were just hiding some stuff.”

 

“That’s a form of lying.” Donghun snorted as he brought a hand to his chest to massage his racing heart “Fuck, I didn’t, I should have… like” he scoffed “you recognised my voice right away. I was so stupid.”

 

“You weren’t stupid” Junhee assured “it was just, well, it would be hard for me not to, not to recognise the voice that has been keeping me company for the past two years, wouldn’t it?”

 

Donghun was lost for words. He just wanted to fucking hug the hell out of the boy and pet his hair and he didn’t even know if he’d say something while doing that. He just wanted to hug him.

 

“I literally, I’ve known your content for two weeks tops, Junhee ya…” Donghun sniffled “I had no idea that, that my average covers would be so, that they’d… I guess” he scoffed and leant back closing his eyes “I’m sorry for dissing a singer you like.”

 

Junhee chuckled.

 

“Apology accepted. Now apologise to him.” He said with a grin.

 

“Yah, come on” Donghun scoffed and saw Junhee’s pursed lips “You’re serious, oh God.” He sighed deeply and played along “Okay, well, ‘Sorry, Lee Donghun, I didn’t know you mattered so much for Park Junhee’” he paused a little and made a serious voice “’No, I won’t forgive you, not until Park junhee can see again and gives you a proper punch in the face.’”

 

“Yah!” Junhee complained “I won’t punch you the face!”

 

“That’s what Lee Donghun wants, though, I don’t make the rules.”

 

“You literally do, you’re him!” Junhee complained.

 

Donghun finally managed to let out an honest chuckle.

 

“This is really so messy, Junhee ya.”

 

“It is, but, but I’m glad you’re not, that I didn’t scare you away” he sighed “I was scared of your reaction.”

 

“Well” Donghun snorted mirthlessly “so was I, I thought you didn’t know, yeah, I’m a dumbass, and I thought that you’d get upset when you found out.”

 

Junhee chuckled.

 

“That wouldn’t happen” he paused “if I ddin’t know, I’d probably just be surprised and then be really happy, I guess.”

 

“You’d be happy?”

 

“Of course I’d be happy, hyung, I’m your fan, remember?”

 

Donghun felt extra dumb because that made perfect sense.

 

“Of course you would, I swear I… well, I guess I panicked, you know… let’s get rid of the last lie” Donghun huffed and Junhee fell silent, clearly listening attentively “Yuchan didn’t phonejack me that night, that was actually me being messy and gay under your photo.”

 

Junhee’s cheeks went bright red and Donghun wanted to die. Now he’d definitely broken the boy.

 

“But, but I’m younger than you, hyung…”

 

Donghun stared. Why the fuck was that all everyone cared about!?

 

“You seriously don’t get it, you are all a bunch of church boys, I swear. Daddy doesn’t mean older, it’s a meme and also a kink I guess, I was going for the meme because I don’t, I’m not into that age-play thing.” He explained and complained at the same time.

 

Junhee was silent for a moment.

 

“Ah, I see… you mean that I looked handsome?”

 

“Yeah, exactly. And drop that past tense, boy, you’re always handsome.” Donghun complained again, feeling like he’d stepped into another plane of existence. One where he didn’t care about being honest.

 

“Ah, sorry” Junhee smiled a little “and, and it was you commenting.”

 

“Yeah, Channie kind of cleaned up my gay mess because, well, I’m not out to my family and unlike yours, they fully support me making music. My mum watches my videos, so I couldn’t really have, like, homophobic spam in my comment section, you feel?”

 

“Ah” Junhee nodded a little and pursed his lips “I feel… my sisters don’t mind me being queer and they’re, well, they’re the only ones who watch my videos in my family, like I told you, so…” he shrugged a little “and, and I guess this can take us back to what you wanted to know a moment ago.”

 

(The shock made it feel like it’d bee ten years before, honestly, at least to Donghun.

What a ride.

Talking about being a chaotic gay.)

 

“Um, yeah, it does…” he sighed.

 

Junhee fell silent again and then breathed in and out softly before replying at last.

 

“Park Junhee wants to know Lee Donghun better, as men, not as artists” he said quietly “he also, he also thinks he’s never felt this strongly about anyone before, because Lee Donghun is almost too gentle and caring to be real. What about Lee Donghun?”

 

Donghun felt so warm in the face and neck he thougth he’d catch fire.

 

“Well, aside from feeling like an idiot, Lee Donghun, who also, also doesn’t believe we’re talking in the third-person like idiots” Junhee chuckled “yeah, aish, he feels the same about Park Junhee. He’d love to get to know him better and he’d, he’d want nothing more than to see that he gets heatlhy soon so that, like, they can see each other for real and, and become friends.” _Hell_ if he was telling him that he had a big fat crush on him just like that, however “He also feels dumb because he thought you’d be weirded out by this question and think that I, like, that I wanted to get in your pants or something.”

 

Junhee’s face was completely red but he was smiling cheekily.

 

“You are in my pants though, aren’t you?”

 

Donghun frowned and looked at the sweatpants he was wearing and huffed.

 

“I swear, Junhee ya” he complained as Junhee chortled “and you laugh. God awful jokes.”

 

“You really didn’t know I knew” Junhee repeated still chuckling “you didn’t even question it when I offered to share my clothes. How would I know your body type or your size, if I couldn’t see you?”

 

Donghun felt like he was the one who’d hit his damn head. Thinking back everything made sense and it was clear as daylight that Junhee had known it was him all along.

 

“Where’s my dumbass award? I think I’ve earned it.”

 

Junhee chuckled and then sighed deeply.

 

“I really thought you’d be freaked out” he didn’t respond to Donghun’s self-deprecating joke “I’m glad you’re not.”

 

“Well” Donghun sighed too “I thought that you’d, like, feel betrayed that I’d hidden that, so I guess we’re even?”

 

Junhee hummed and smiled with a small shrug.

 

“I guess we are.”

 

Donghun fell silent for a moment and then sighed.

 

“And I, like, uh… well, if you’re okay with it I mean, we could sing together some time.”

 

Junhee’s face went bright red again and he sighed before chuckling and beaming brightly as if he was dreaming.

 

“Do I need to say that I’d love that?” Junhee asked quietly after a moment and Donghun’s heart skipped a beat “Sehyoon hyung said, he said our voices would go well together.”

 

Donghun smiled back and felt himself blush coyly before lowering his eyes.

 

“I think so too.” He said back just as quietly.

 

Junhee rolled to the side and pulled off his eyepatches before rubbing at his eyes just a little and slowly opening them. Donghun looked at them and saw them unfocused but focusing on sources of light.

 

“I hope I get, I get my sight back soon…” he sniffled and smiled before gulping “I really, I want to see you, hyung, and, and I want us to sing together.”

 

Donghun felt his eyes well up as he saw the shine in Junhee’s and decided to put an end to that.

“Alright, baby, let’s get you ready for bed.” Donghun said patting his thighs and standing up “Come on up.”

Junhee groaned and chuckled.

“These meds make me feel like a jellyfish or something…” he said as he pulled the duvet back with a slow arm “I can barely walk on my own.”

“Permission to pull you up.” Donghun requested with a smile.

“Granted.” Junhee chuckled and Donghun bent over to grab his forearms and help him sit up before pulling him up and holding him upright by putting an arm around his slim waist. Junhee put a very sluggish arm around his shoulders and Donghun grabbed his wrist for extra safety.

As in the previous night, Donghun helped him the toilet but that time, since all has been cleared up, when Donghun once again offered to help him brush his teeth out of frustration since he could barely hold the toothbrush, Junhee spoke up when they were already on top of the stairs, after Donghun carefully helped him walk up there.

“Hyung” Junhee called groggily, his head drooping a little “there’s something, there’s something weird about you brushing my teeth like… I thought that peeing and stuff with you around would be awkward but, like, you brushing my teeth makes my heart go like…” he gestured vaguely towards his own chest and Donghun’s heart skipped a beat.

“I’m about to make this weirder than it already is but” he said feeling his face heat up again “Yuchannie says it’s because, it’s because I’m shoving something in your mouth and, well, I won’t go into any more details.”

Junhee stopped a moment just in front of his bed and Donghun saw his whole face go red around his tightly shut eyes (he hadn’t put the patches back on).

“Oh God…” he muttered “he’s right…”

“Yeah, he’s right a bunch of times and it’s kind of scary but that’s fine.” Donghun huffed and helped Junhee get in bed and covered him with the bed linen and the duvet he’d brought up with him “Right, um, I’m gonna take a shower and stuff, if that’s alright.”

“Of course, it is, hyung.” Junhee smiled.

“Okay, you can sleep, if you want. Don’t force yourself to stay awake, Junhee ya, honestly.”

“What if I want to?”

“Then do, nerd.” Donghun huffed and Junhee chuckled.

 

Donghun texted Yuchan while he was in the toilet.

 

**My Baby Channie**

 

I asked him

He replied by telling me he knew who I was all along

He was scared I’d be freaked out

We sorted everything out

By talking

I feel like im about to pass out

10:23pm

Oh wow he knew?!

And amazing

Talking does wonders, doesn’t it? ;D

10:23pm

I dont even mind u making fun of me

Yeah, since the first day

10:24pm

Holy shit I wasn’t counting on that one!

But I guess it makes sense in hindsight

I mean, he’d been hearing your voice for ages

And all that stuff

10:24pm

Yeah well I let him touch my face the first day

He said he was sure it was me from that

And didn’t say anythin bc he thought itd sound creepy

Im gonna cry in the shower and possibly drown myself in it

10:25pm

Dfhgkjhkjdfhkd dramatic hyung

But holy shit!

U didn’t tell me that he’d felt ur face!

Hyung gdi ofc he’d know it was u!

Ur nose is quite distinguishable lmao

10:25pm

Why my goddamn nose fkn hell

It’s just a nose

I just

Fuck he took it so well?

I just, I dont know what im feeling rn

10:26pm

So u talked abt ur feelings for him?

10:26pm

Well, I guess?

I asked him what he felt for the man not the artist

And he asked the question back but about himself

Then like

10:27pm

Donghun sighed deeply and stood up after flushing and starting to strip to get in the shower.

 

He said he wanted to get to know me better

And I said yea same

And that was it

Now im naked and abt to take a shower

Thanks for being w me earlier bby ily

Goodnight -3-

10.30pm

Thanks for letting me know ur naked, hyung

Loved that piece of info lmao

But im glad

See, he wasn’t upset and u were fretting for what?

NOTHING!

Kang Yuchan was: correct once again uwu

10:31pm

Alright, hyungie, goodnight!

I love u too <3

10:32pm

 

Donghun did cry a little in the shower and he wanted to yell.

He couldn’t believe that the lies and hidden truths were all gone and Junhee knew and had known that he was Lee Donghun all along. Of course he knew. It was just so damn obvious that he did. Why else would he _completely_ trust someone who wasn’t telling him his name unless he already knew who they were?

 

His head was running wild and even though he did remember the towel he forgot to bring a change of clothes, so he dried himself and walked back into Junhee’s room to go look for some. Only the dim light of the nightstand was on so even if was seeing, he’d only be seeing his naked back.

“Hyung….” Junhee called softly.

“You’re awake.” Donghun said after quietly closing the drawers, helping himself with a pair of sweatpants and and a sweater “I forgot to take clothes to the bathroom.”

“Well, I can’t see you so” Junhee muttered groggily.

Donghun still dressed the sweatpants before dropping the towel and putting on the sweater. Then he took the towel back to the bathroom and returned, lying on his stomach alongside Junhee’s bed to get the makeshift bed he’d be sleeping in and pulling it out. He got under the covers and sighed.

“Will I get a song?” Junhee asked with a smile in his voice as Donghun turned off the lamp and put his phone beside his head. He fell quiet for a moment. Now he knew who he was. It was weird but also freeing.

“Do you want one?” He asked smiling a little as well.

“No.”

“Okay, then goodnight.”

“I’m joking, hyung.” Junhee snorted.

“No, you said no. No is no. Goodnight, Park Junhee.” He teased, purposely making noise to show that he was turning to the side.

“Please, Donghun hyung.” Junhee chuckled and Donghun chuckled too and turned around lying on his back before sitting down.

“Alright, nerd. What do you want me to sing for you tonight?” Donghun asked and Junhee hummed softly.

 

“Hm… _Sing for You_?”

 

Donghun sighed. That was _the_ song.

 

“No instrumental?”

 

“Not needed. I’ve always wanted to, like, year your voice àcapella and, well, I like that song a lot.”

 

“So do I.” Donghun snorted a little. The song meant way too much for him (for them) now.

 

And he did, he knew the lyrics by heart, but he still grabbed his phone and looked them up so that he wouldn’t mess it up. His voice echoed in the room and he didn’t sing very loudly. He sang it was a lullaby and when he was done, he looked at the outlines of Junhee’s body, visible with the dim light of his phone and saw him smiling and his shimmering eyes.

 

“That was, that was so much more beautiful than I could have imagined” Junhee sniffled “don’t worry, these aren’t sad tears… I’m really happy, Donghun hyung.”

 

“I’m glad you liked it, Junhee ya.” Donghun said and lied on his back after turning off his alarm “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you it was me.”

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I knew it was you.” Junhee returned with a chuckle “I hope, I really hope I can see, I can see something more concrete tomorrow… just now, I could see your phone and, and earlier I saw something shining near my chest of drawers.”

 

“My back.” Donghun sighed “I’m glad I didn’t moon you.” Junhee giggled and Donghun giggled a little too “But hey, your eyesight is returning already!”

 

“All thanks to you, hyung.”

 

“All thanks to the meds, you mean.” Donghun countered.

 

“The meds haven’t been feeding me and keeping me company.” Junhee muttered sleepily “Thank you for being alive, Lee Donghun.”

 

Donghun didn’t know how to respond to that, honestly.

 

“Thank _you_ for being alive, Park Junhee.” He parroted with a snort and Junhee chuckled. Donghun felt something softly touch his shoulder and realised it was Junhee’s hand. He held it after a small moment of hesitation and intertwined their fingers. Junhee gave a squeeze to the hand but not a minute later Donghun heard his breath even out and realised he’d fallen asleep. He held his hand and put it back on the bed before turning to the side to sleep. Again, that day had felt like a whole year and he thought he wouldn't be able to sleep but the thoughts actually lulled him to sleep along with the mental image of Junhee’s smile.

 

The next day would be a whole different world.

* * *

 


	15. Cry Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun and Junhee talk a lot and Donghun risks a lot too. It isn't for naught. Everything becomes clear at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, choice, my fam
> 
> i hope you all spent some nice holidays (if u had them) and that this year is treating u right so far (it's only been 4 days of it but ya know) and that if it started out on the wrong foot, it'll get improve as it rolls by.
> 
> anyway, im really sorry about this long barely proofed chapter. no, u don't get it, it's really long. it's 9k words and i meant for it to be long because i didn't want to split it since it's like a whole thing?? at least to me. the problem is that i thought that today was thursday and i only noticed it wasn't a while back so i didn't have a lot of time to proof. all this to apologise for the typos and the eaten words and that sort of stuff. i'll get back to it tomorrow, maybe?? i'll try to reply to all your lovely comments that i must confess this time i read earlier but didn't reply bc i was still writing and i spend a long time replying. aaaand, i must say right away that next week will probably be the last chapter(s). im saying probably bc i haven't written anything yet, i just have some things in mind. i hope u like this one and that i doesn't disappoint? pls tell me things (it's fine if u don't, but ya know, im just a regular ficster, i like feedback to know what u thought jdhfkjs).
> 
> this chapter is basically a big fluffy mess and i kind added a scenario to get them away from the house without taking them away from there since it wasn't realistic to take them away, u feel? idk i hope u dig that?
> 
> and that's all for this week i guess. see you soon <3

* * *

 

It would have been great if Junhee’s eyesight had returned on Sunday morning, wouldn’t it? Well, that didn’t happen. On Sunday morning, Donghun woke up before him again and after making his makeshift bed and pushing it under Junhee’s bed, headed for the en suite to take care of his morning routine before coming back, feeling fresh and less haggard after texting Yuchan that Junhee’s razors were out of this world.

 

**My Baby Channie**

Morning, bby

These razors he uses?

Definitely worth the extra money

[picture sent of his own face looking fresh and clean and smiling]

[picture sent of the brand of the razors]

8:07am

 

Morning hyung

Someone’s in a good mood <3

8:07am

Also looking handsome uwu

meanwhile

[picture sent of his puffy just out of bed face looking like he’d just seen death]

I’ve come to collect your soul Lmao

8:08am

Aw, look at my sleepyhead cutie

No but srsly

These razors?

Lit

8:09am

I’ll get them too !

Now im gonna make myself presentable lmao

Then eat and head for work

Talk later hyung <3

8:10am

Okay bby

Good luck

-3-

8:10am

 

Then Donghun headed back to Junhee’s bedroom and sat down beside his nightstand with his phone, deciding to check his social media at last and maybe update his Instagram with some stray selcas where he didn’t look half-bad. It was crazy the amount of new followers and new subscribers he had on youtube. He’d gone from 600k to over 800k in a couple days, it was insane and his ig now had more than 300k followers. His twitter had barely reached the 100k but still, that was a lot more than he had before and impressive considering that he didn’t post there a lot.

He’d just finished updating his Instagram when he heard the sound of Junhee shifting on the bed.

“Donghun hyung?” He called softly in a sleep-ladden voice.

“Junhee ya” Donghun called back, pocketing his phone and standing up with a small smile “how do you feel?”

“Hm…” came the small groan “not too cold but also not too warm…”

“Permission to feel your temperature.” Donghun asked as Junhee scooted to the side a little with a small chuckle. A good sign. He was in a better mood than the previous morning.

“Granted.” Junhee smiled and his opened yet unfocused eyes slowly moved to the light Donghun had just switched on on his nighstand.

Donghun rubbed his hands and felt his forehead before feeling the sides of his neck. Still a little feverish but definitely not as much as the previous days.

“You’re still feverish, baby.” He said with a small huff and Junhee groaned “But it’s not that bad, I reckon that you can take a normal temperature shower today. It’ll probably still feel cold, but, well, better than the lukewarm water, eh?”

Junhee covered his eyes with his forearm and chuckled before nodding.

“Yeah, definitely better than that. Will I still get a backwash?”

“Of course, what kind of husband do you think I am?” Donghun said playfully as he patted the backs of Junhee’s hands softly to indicate that he’d help him up. Junhee’s cheeks got a tad pink in the glow of the dim light and smiled.

“The best husband.” Junhee chuckled, letting Donghun hold his hands and help him to his feet. He wasn’t wobbling very much but Donghun was kind of worried, still.

“I could just hold your hand and, like, drag you to the bathroom but I’m, I mean, you’re meant to take those meds for two weeks so…”

“Please hold me, hyung” Junhee asked quietly “I don’t want to fall again.” He was being serious and Donghun didn’t expect the seriousness in his tone. He promptly put his arm around his waist and pulled him along to the bathroom. Junhee closed his eyes.

“Can you see somethi – no, no, keep your eyes closed, the bathroom is too bright” Donghun warned, interrupting his question and Junhee tightly shut his eyes. He helped him get to the toilet and all that jazz and then Junhee stripped down to his underwear as he’d done in the two previous days and waited for Donghun to regulate the water temperature for him before hopping in the shower and closing the door just a bit before getting rid of his underwear, that Donghun picked up and threw in the laundry bin.

When it was time for the backwash Junhee so loved Donghun asked again as he carefully lathered his skin while holding his shoulder.

“Can you see something clearer today?” He asked remembering the question that had been left hanging.

Junhee shook his head a bit.

“Not really” He said with a sigh as the water poured all over his body “the shadows and stuff have gained shape but I can’t, I can’t see, like, your face for example. I can’t see it.” He said.

“You know what I look like.” Donghun said with a chuckle, trying to cheer him up and he did chortle but then shook his head and said nothing more. It bugged Donghun, so he held the thought to ask again later.

When Junhee was as out of the shower, dressed and already shaved and all the skincare routine was taken care of and he was ready for another lazy day, Donghun went over to his room and grabbed the duvet again before helping him walk downstairs since the lights were too strong and they were taking no risks.

“I can see the outlines of the rooms now” Junhee said when he was already lying on the couch with the duvet over him “but it’s all blurry and dark and, and kind of freaky… looks like a ghost is gonna pop up somewhere.” He pulled the duvet closer to his chin and Donghun snorted.

“You’re scared of ghosts?”

“I am.” Junhee confessed.

“They’re not real.”

“How do you know?”

“They’re just not” Donghun insisted with a huff “people die and that’s it. We don’t stay around like, like a smokey version of ourselves or some shit.”

“How do you know?” Junhee asked again and Donghun gave up. Junhee was too stubborn.

“I don’t. I just don’t believe in that stuff because it sounds fake.”

Junhee hummed and sighed.

“I’ll fight off the ghosts if they turn up.” Donghun promised with a chuckle seeing how it was kind of an asshole thing to do to disregard other people’s beliefs “I’ll google how to exorcise them.”

Junhee chortled.

“Thanks, hyung” he said.

“You want ill soup or something else? I can like, make some scrambled eggs or something else.”

“I’d like that.” Junhee smiled “The eggs, not the something else. I don’t know what that is.” He joked and Donghun scoffed and shook his head.

“Great, scrambled eggs it is then.”

So that was their breakfast along with some rice, some buttery toast and tea. Then Donghun popped out the meds Junhee had to take and he swalled them chasing them with the fizzy cold medicine drink before being given the candy-like cough drop and lying back as Donghun took care of the dishes before returning and sitting down on the armchair beside the couch.

Then they talked. Openly. For the first time in the three days they’d been in each other’s company they talked completely open. Lee Donghun talked to Park Junhee without dumbly worrying about revealing his identity because he knew, and he’d known all along it was him.

He talked about how he’d started singing early on because his mum was a singer too and he’d gotten the music from her. She wasn’t much of a dancer though so, at first, he was quite bad at that. Junhee didn’t want to believe that but Donghun promised him it was true, and it’d gotten him in an embarrassing situation in a failed audition, which thankfully didn’t get leaked. Junhee believed it when he explained it in detail and how he’d wanted to evaporate the moment he started his lousy attempt at dancing.

“It’s so hard to believe though” Junhee said “when you dance like you do now.”

“Well, I’m not quite on your level _and_ ” he interrupted when he saw Junhee open his mouth “don’t contradict me, boy. We may be on similar levels vocally but you’re the better dancer and that’s that.”

Junhee pursed his lips but then nodded.

“Okay, fair. You dance really well, though.”

“I got some training on the side for a while” he explained “then I dropped it and started, like, practicing at home from tutorials and stuff like that but, I don’t know” he shrugged “I still don’t feel like dancing is my strongest point.”

Junhee opened his mouth and then closed it and pursed his lips before sniffling.

“Well… when my eyesight is back, if you want, or, or something… we can practice together.”

Donghun looked at him and saw the lids on his closed eyes twitch as he turned to face the ceiling with his cheeks slightly red.

(He’d gone without the eyepatches that day, hoping to get some vision back and being ready for it. He’d gotten really good at keeping his eyes closed. It was like his inability of winking and doing it both eyes but constantly. Not funny but kind of funny anyway.)

“I’d, I’d like that” Donghun said quietly with a smile, feeling his face warm up as well “if you’re up for it, then so am I.”

“I’m up for it.” Junhee smiled too and faced his direction again with his eyes still closed “I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t, would I?”

That reminded Donghun of his own responses sometimes and he snorted.

“No, you wouldn’t.” He replied.

Junhee smiled from ear to ear.

“It’s a deal then.”

“It seems like it.”

“Even though you’re already a very good dancer.”

“We can always improve.”

“That’s true.”

“Is it also true that you practice everyday?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s why you constantly mess up in your DIY videos.” Donghun scoffed “You barely get any sleep and then you, I don’t even know, you go about on energy drinks and coffee.” He shook his head as Junhee grinned because he knew where he’d got that information from “And he doesn’t even look bothered.” He complained making Junhee chortle “Of course you’ll set shit on fire and mess everything up. Do you drive?”

“I do.”

“Jesus.” Donghun huffed rubbing his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

“And for the record, I never got involved in any accidents.” Junhee added and Donghun snorted, definitely relieved.

“You’re lucky” Donghun started before looking at the man with his eyes closed lying across him who had just just pursed his lips concealing a chuckle “okay, maybe not that lucky.”

“Maybe not that lucky” Junhee chuckled “but lucky anyway, I mean… have you ever heard of anyone fucking up their eyesight and finding an artist they like without trying and feeling like they’re about to die?”

Donghun fell silent for a moment before snorting.

“You wanted a happy meal and you got me instead, I’m so sorry.” Donghun said lightheartedly and it showed in his tone, clearly, because Junhee didn’t get upset.

“You fed me well, hyung.” Junhee said “And you didn’t have to. You just, like, got some motivation from my messy videos and, really, that’s not, that’s really not something you owe me.”

Donghun fell silent for a moment looking at him, assessing how seriously he was talking.

 

“Junhee ya” he started quietly “I had been in that degree for two years, wanting to drop out from the start, feeling like, I don’t know like I was wasting my time, not wanting to risk trying music again for real because I was scared of failing” he continued trying to express his thoughts openly, coherently in a way that wouldn’t lead to misunderstandings. Junhee listened in silence “and then, well, I didn’t tell you how I found your channel, did I?”

 

“You didn’t.” Junhee promptly said and Donghun chuckled.

 

“Well, my friend Yuchan, one night a while back, we pulled an all-nighter since we had the 5am shift” Junhee winced “yeah, that’s what we feel about it” Junhee chuckled mirthlessly “yeah, so we were pulling an all-nighter and watching funny shit, like vine compilations and whatnot, after we finished our collab, you probably know what I mean.”

 

“I know what you mean.” Junhee smiled and Donghun hummed with a chuckle “Counting Stars. I loved it. Yuchan ssi’s voice is amazing too.”

 

Donghun smiled proudly.

 

“Yeah, he’s amazing in general, anyway” he continued as Junhee smiled fondly “we finished recording and editing that stuff then uploaded and shit, and, uh, so we’re watching funny stuff and he knew about your channel and like, at first I was kind of wondering if the red bull was getting to him because, like, your channel looked like a regular DIY and Lifestyle channel, yeah?”

 

“Yeah.” Junhee chuckled “Let me guess what video he showed you.” He said raising his hand “The one where set fire to the cloud lamp.”

 

Donghun chortled and took a mental note to tell Yuchan that later.

 

“Bingo. That was the one.” He said and Junhee snickered “Great tips on putting out fires by the way, they were all spot on.”

 

“Thank you, hyung.” Junhee smiled “That was the reason I decided to upload that crap in the first place, I thought it was, I don’t even know, educational. Apparently people thought it was a riot and it’s always the first video people watch when they find me.”

 

Donghun looked at him in silence for a moment before licking his lips and sniffling.

 

“Well, I did think it was funny, and like, I also thought it was fake for a moment, sorry about that.” He quickly apologised, too quick to realise that Junhee was laughing.

 

“I knew it!” He exclaimed and his voice was pretty much back to normal “I knew you’d be the kind of person to think I was a phony!”

 

Donghun groaned.

 

“So, you thought I was some pretentious sceptical asshole, uh?”

 

“You are sceptical though, aren’t you?” Junhee countered with another question and Donghun raised an eyebrow “You don’t believe in ghosts either.”

 

“Ah” Donghun acknowledged with a snort “I guess I am, you’re right.”

 

“You’re not a pretentious asshole, though” Junhee said “I don’t think of you that way anyway” he added “at least definitely not an asshole.”

 

Donghun laughed.

 

“I can still be pretentious then.”

 

“For all I know? Yes.” Junhee grinned and Donghun cackled.

 

“I’m not, at least I don’t think I am anyway.” He said “I don’t try to sound smart or anything like that, I just… I don’t know, I don’t believe things easily, I guess” Junhee chuckled “yeah, well, but Yuchannie isn’t sceptical, and he went back and pointed out the proof that you were for real and that you were really bad at DIY” Junhee laughed again.

 

“I see the comments” he said “I like my viewers a lot, you know? They’re really nice people. They always, always destroy the haters. It’s incredible.” He smiled fondly “And they don’t even know me.”

 

Donghun was silent for a moment to calm down his emotions before pouring them out in acceptable amounts.

 

“Well, that’s where I want to get to, actually” he smiled and Junhee stopped talking to face him, still with his eyes closed “it’s your attitude. It was that. You failed, you got hurt, you burnt yourself with hot glue, you hit your hands with hammers and you never complained.” He bit his lower lip “A wince here and there, normal, you’re human, yeah?” Junhee chuckled a little “You feel pain so you wince but you smiled right after, no cuts. Bam! You hit your hand with a hammer, you wince, you smile, you keep going like nothing happened.” He gulped “Then you ended up with a shadow of whatever you were trying to do, and you smiled at it, said it wasn’t that bad and” he paused and clenched and unclenched his fists before clenching them again and breathing heavily “and that it’d be better next time for sure. Always, always. You always say that. You set a lamp on fire. Next time will be better. You poke your balls with wire” Junhee’s eyes were watery but he was smiling and choked out a chuckle “Next time will be better. You fuck up your hands with shards of glass. Next time will be better. I” Donghun didn’t want to fucking start crying again _– fuck_ that seemed to be all they did, what the fuck was their problem – but he was getting there “I heard that over and over, looking at your honest smile, seeing your honest eyes, taking your words to heart and I, I just… it wasn’t just about dropping out of that damn degree, Junhee ya, it was also about music. I’d given up on trying for real but you made me want to try it again for real, get an audition, try to do it full-time.” He paused to catch his breath and hold back his tears as Junhee pulled the duvet over his face to wipe his eyes “I was scared of failing again but your, your smile and your attitude made me want to try again.”

 

“Hyung” Junhee’s voice came out choked up even though he was trying so hard to hold it in “I don’t know what to, I don’t know, I can’t express my feelings right now… I, you know, you know that listening to you, your voice it was, it was really important to me these past two years and, and that your voice kept me company for these, all this time, don’t you?”

 

“You told me” Donghun tried to mask his choked up voice.

 

“Yes, I did, um, yes… I did and now, now you’re telling me that I helped you want to try music again for real after all, after all this time and” he paused and gulped “and you also helped me want to keep singing and, and making music because, because I wanted to keep up with you, I… I can’t believe I did that for you.”

 

“Yah…” Donghun said softly and he wanted to get the fuck up from that couch and go hug that crying boy “this is, why the fuck are we crying again?” He complained and Junhee chuckled through his tears as he wiped them.

 

“I don’t, I don’t know, I’m not sad, hyung.” He promised.

 

“I’m not, either.” Donghun snorted angrily wiping his eyes “It’s just, this stuff, music it’s really important to us and we, and I didn’t know we had it in common and we did and just…”

 

“Hyung” Junhee blurted out “can I please get a hug?”

 

Donghun almost yelled.

 

“Of course you can.” Donghun said and sprang up from the armchair as Junhee sat up and pulled his legs to the side outstretching his arms with his shimmering face.

 

Donghun didn’t remember ever holding someone so tight in his life. He knelt between his legs and held him around the middle, letting him put his arms around his neck and shoulders and rest his face on top of his head and caress his hair. Junhee was warm and soft yet firm and Donghun was kind of wetting his sweater with his tears as he rubbed his sides with his palms, pulling them ever closer.

 

Junhee’s fingers were trembling but they were soft and gentle, and he caressed Donghun’s hair as he sniffled and held him. Donghun pressed his face against Junhee’s chest and listened to his fast heartbeat, matching his, and tried not to wet his sweater with his tears too much. He let Junhee be the one to break off the hug because, honestly, he didn’t want to let go.

 

Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but it felt like Junhee didn’t want to let go either. He softly got away from him but left his arms around his neck. Donghun looked up and saw the open slits of his still unfocused eyes, shining and smiling down at him. He smiled back without really thinking whether or not Junhee could see him.

 

“I can’t” Junhee sniffled with a chuckle “I can’t see your eyes, your, your face is blurry, and I can’t see your, there’s nothing but a blur but, but I can see you smiling.”

 

Donghun’s smile grew wider.

 

“I am smiling.” He confirmed “You’re seeing something that’s there.”

 

Junhee chuckled and softly brought his hands up to find Donghun’s cheeks and wipe them. Donghun brought his up as well and wiped Junhee’s cheeks and the corners or his eyes.

 

“Why the hell are we always crying though?” Donghun complained “I’m not that, that much of a crybaby, especially not, not in front of others.”

 

Junhee chuckled and sniffled.

 

“I rarely cry.” He confessed “These aren’t, I’m not even sad, I really can’t understand why.”

 

Donghun stood up and Junhee lied back down. Donghun threw the duvet over him and he smiled. Donghun sat on the table again, as had become his bad habit.

 

“I’ve been told I have a sad look and shit but you, you can’t even see me.” Donghun said with a snort and Junhee shook his head.

 

“I said I’m not sad, hyung” Junhee reaffirmed and Donghun hummed “I don’t, these emotions are so weird, I can’t, I don’t know how to express them in words.”

 

“Ah” Donghun nodded “I feel.”

 

“Yes, I feel, you feel, we feel.” Junhee said with a little giddy smile “We’re feeling.” He sighed “Thank you for the hug, hyung.”

 

“Thank you, too” Donghun chortled “weirdo. Who thanks someone for a hug?”

 

“Someone who’s thankful for that hug.”

 

“It’s still weird, you’re a weirdo, you don’t thank people for hugs” Donghun teased and Junhee chuckled “but you give good hugs.”

 

“You give better hugs, I’m sure.”

 

Donghun hummed and shrugged.

 

“Maybe I do. Practice makes perfect.”

 

Junhee grinned.

 

“You like hugs, hyung?”

 

Donghun sighed before confessing.

 

“Can’t say I hate them.” He snorted and Junhee chortled covering his eyes with his forearm.

 

“Now we’re talking about hugs” he kept chuckling “why are we like this? This is so… I don’t even know what to say about it.”

 

Donghun chuckled. He didn’t either.

 

“Neither do I” he offered “but I don’t hate it.”

 

“You don’t hate it.”

 

“I don’t hate it.”

 

Junhee fell silent and sniffled a little.

 

“I wish…” he started after a moment of loaded silence “I wish we’d met under different, like… gah, tongue-tied, the meds are kicking in” he blew a raspberry and Donghun chuckled waiting for him to go on “what I mean is, that I’d like to have met you another way. A normal way.” He paused but he was clearly not done yet, as he swallowed and licked his lips “I’ve wanted to message you for a while but I never, I never really found the courage to do that because, how would I even start?”

 

Donghun covered his eyes and chuckled quietly. He got it. No, really, he understood it. It was awful for him to start a conversation with someone because he always felt awkward doing it but once he got a positive response, he was actually pretty friendly.

(Friendly in his own way, of course.)

“Maybe with a ‘Hi! I like your stuff and I make some of my own even though my channel is full of me hurting myself while attempting DIY!’” He said and Junhee pursed his lips “Don’t make that face, boy, that would have been enough to get my interest.”

Junhee uncovered his closed eyes and sniffled before opening them just a slit and sighing before scoffing.

“Would it really be that easy?”

“Yeah, I’m a pretty easy.” Donghun scoffed too “I mean, easy as in, to chat up” he clarified and Junhee grinned which made him grin too, seeing that he’d gotten his point across “yeah, you could have said that to me and I’d, I’d respond.”

“You didn’t follow me until a while back, so how would I even reach you?” Junhee chuckled softly “My message would have gotten lost among the others.”

Donghun shook his head and chuckled, throwing his head back.

“You make it sound like I’m some top celebrity, Junhee ya” he said “I don’t get that many messages.”

“I’d still have to write to you in public and, and I didn’t want anyone to know I made music.” He replied quietly. Donghun looked at him in silence.

“Well” he smacked his lips “you’re friends with Kim Byeongkwan and Kim Sehyoon, who know my best friend, who has my number.”

“Hyung” Junhee said pointedly looking in his general direction “that would have been so creepy.”

“No, it wouldn’t.” Donghun complained “You’re friends with my friend’s friends, how is it weird? It’s the most common shit out there.”

Junhee bit his lower lip and looked back at the ceiling before closing his eyes again.

“I was just, I don’t even know” Junhee sighed deeply “I thought it’d be weird. I didn’t know you. I had no idea you were so approacheable.”

Donghun looked at him in silence and snorted mirthlessly.

“Yeah, you didn’t know me, you just knew my videos and shit.” He said and he saw that Junhee was falling into a mood so he decided to cheer him up “Okay, so let’s pretend you texted me.”

“Pardon?”

“Pretend you texted me, a while back.” Donghun repeated confidently gesturing with his hands “What did you write to me?”

Junhee’s smile returned and Donghun was glad to see it so he smiled back.

“Ah, okay…” he paused and sighed deeply “I said, um, ‘Hi, Lee Donghun-ssi! I’ve been listening to your covers for a long time and you inspire me a lot. I make covers myself and I’d love it if you listened to them sometime!’ then signed as Park Junhee and a link to my social media just so you could see who I was.”

Donghun fell silent noticing how coherent and fluid that came out.

“Okay, so I get that message” Donghun said with a smile “I’m a little surprised that, uh, that you have my number but I check your links before asking how you got my number” he started “and I realise you’re followed by Yuchannie, Kim Sehyon and Kim Byeongkwan. So I see a connection and probably make like, a mental note to ask Yuchan later if he’d given you my number, I do that a lot” he added.

“What?”

“Mental notes.”

“Ah.”

“Yeah, so I see the connection and I’m curious because you’re good-looking and I’m a shallow asshole” Donghun said with a grin that made Junhee chuckle “you’re laughing but that would influence my judgement for sure under those circumstances.” Junhee laughed harder and Donghun chortled “Okay, so I reply to you after like an hour, depending on when you send it, maybe longer, I could be working” he snorted and Junhee chuckled “so I watch a couple of your videos and see you hurting yourself and that really throws me the fuck off because, well, you can’t really tell that from your Instagram or Twitter and I’m shocked at how inspiring you actually are.” Junhee grinned at that “So I reply with like ‘Okay, you’ve got my interest, Park Junhee. But why the hell do you make DIY? I mean, it’s inspirational and stuff but you’re hurting yourself out there, man.”

Junhee needed a moment to recover for his laughing fit as his cheeks turned pink.

“Okay, I’d like that reply, I’d be, that’d be a really good start in my book” Junhee said “so I’d reply with ‘Oh, you think it’s inspiring? Then it’s already worth it!’”

“I’d call you a damn masochist.”

Junhee laughed.

“Not masochist, just clumsy and tired because I’m also making music, remember?”

“Oh right…” Donghun chuckled and got back to their little ‘Different Meeting’ scenario “I’d ask to hear you sing then. What song would you send me?”

Junhee hummed and then chuckled.

“Sing for You” he said and Donghun chortled before falling silent as he realised that in the messy listening party of the previous day he hadn’t heard him sing that one.

“You have that? I didn’t see it in your folders.”

“Oh, it’s in another folder.” He chuckled and sighed “I wanted to send it to you specifically if, if I ever gathered enough courage to message you. It’s kind of old. I’d probably, it’d probably sound better now.”

“Your voice is back.” Donghun said and his heart raced “Can you play or, or are your fingers feeling like jelly?”

 

Junhee pursed his lips.

 

“I can play.”

 

“Well, instead of a clip, Lee Donghun requests a live song.”

 

Junhee clearly hesitated before sitting up and sighing with a smile, sitting right in front of Donghun.

 

“Park Junhee accepts the request but needs his guitar. It’s still here, we didn’t take it upstairs.”

 

“We didn’t.” Donghun confirmed and walked around the couch to go get it. He passed it over to Junhee who held it in his arms and carefully felt the strings before adjusting them a little. With his eyes closed. He cleared his throat and finally opened his unfocused eyes and smiled.

 

“Hi, Donghun hyung, I hope you like this song. It reminds me of you for some reason.” He said quietly and Donghun felt his cheeks flare up but he barely had time to breathe. Junhee hit his knuckles on the guitar to signal the beginning and broke into song.

 

Donghun was floored basically.

 

Junhee’s version of _Sing for You_ was colourful and emotional and his guitar picking skills, with his bare fingers were God-level. His voice was back to its full intensity and Donghun could finally hear it.

 

It was _magical._

 

Then he finished the song after what felt like a long time and too little time at the same time.

 

Donghun clapped and stood at the end and Junhee who had been smiling the whole song blushed into a deep adorable red and lowered his head in a small bow.

 

“I wasn’t, I didn’t expect you to clap and, and stand up.”

 

Donghun beamed as he sat back down with his heart racing.

 

“You can see?”

 

“I can see your shadow.” Junhee said smiling back at him “Not your face, aside from your smile. It’s blurry, as if, I don’t know, as if I have a cloud in my eyes.”

 

“You can really see my smile, that’s, that’s something.” He said and then sighed deeply “Aish, if you’d sent me that, even if, if it was just a video I’d have been upset and then asked ‘Why are you posting those stupid DIYs, hurting yourself when you, when you’re this talented?”

 

“Then I’d explain it to you.”

 

“And I’d get it because, because that’s why I post stuff on youtube” he said with a soft chuckle, rubbing his chest to calm his heart as Junhee leant back still holding his guitar “I didn’t tell you this, it’s for the same reason” he said “youtube doesn’t feel like a real attempt.”

 

Junhee was silent for a moment.

 

“I maintain that it’s not for the weak to post your art” he finally said “that’s why I said it to you before, I don’t think it’s bad. I’m just…” He shrugged.

 

“Stubborn.” Donghun smiled and Junhee chuckled.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“If it’s not for real, then you don’t want it.”

 

“That’s probably it.” Junhee confirmed with a chuckle.

 

“Okay, so I’d get your reasons and all and then…” he paused and tried to calm down his burning soul “I’d probably ask you to meet up somewhere, sometime.”

 

“You would?” Junhee asked clearly surprised.

 

“Yeah” Donghun snorted “because by this point in this scenario we’re imagining, I’d already have texted Yuchan who would have persuaded me to ask you out.”

 

“And you’d do it?”

 

“I would.” Donghun chuckled “Would you accept it?”

 

“Yeah!” Junhee exclaimed with a scoff “Of course, I would. Where?”

 

“The park. Or, I don’t know, lunch at the shopping centre, if it was cold.” Donghun thought about some options.

 

“Okay, the shopping centre then. There’s one nearby that has a really good sushi restaurant.” Junhee grinned.

 

“Oh, you mean the one near the train station?”

 

“Yes, that one!”

 

“And the expensive ass sushi?” Donghun snorted.

 

“Probably? It’s the best sushi I’ve ever had though.”

 

“Shit, okay, at least no McDonald’s because that would trigger me.” Donghun snorted “But damn, that would make me want to cry.”

 

“I’d pay for the meal.” Junhee said.

 

Donghun chortled.

 

“You’d be flexing like that on the first _date_?” He asked and saw Junhee laugh too “What if I was a gold digger?”

 

“You’re not.” Junhee said.

 

“How would you know?”

 

“I’m cheating” Junhee said with a cheeky grin “I know you’re not from the past couple days.”

 

Donghun sighed deeply. That damn guy.

 

“Right, okay, nerd, it’s settled” Donghun chuckled “so who gets there first?”

 

“Definitely me.” Junhee scoffed “I’d be there one hour before, before the settled time.”

 

“You weirdo.”

 

“I’m being honest.” Junhee chortled and Donghun snorted “I’d be meeting an artist I like a lot, you think I’d be late?”

 

Donghun didn’t answer that, obviously.

 

“Okay, so I get there and strut up to you like an idiot feeling awkward as fuck because you’re flexing on me with expensive ass food and I actually hate that, and then, then I’m shocked that you’re more beautiful in person than you are in the pictures.”

 

“Really?” Junhee asked softly, smiling and blushing “Ah, I’d let you try and split the bill, hyung, don’t worry. But I’d pay for it in the end. I can be very persuasive.” He added.

 

“You bet. Even that night we met for real, I thought you were more beautiful in person even though, even though you looked awful.” He paused and scoffed “And that I know. You’re a stubborn little rascal.”

 

Junhee laughed heartily and Donghun laughed too. It was so easy to laugh with that guy.

 

“I wish I could say you’re more beautiful in person but I’m, well” he pointed at his glazed eyes “like this.”

 

“You will be able to see everything soon and see that I’m underwhelming in person, really.” He made a face “People say my head is big sometimes.”

 

“Your head’s fine!” Junhee protested and Donghun chuckled.

 

“Okay, so you won’t think that I have a big head, but now we’re face to face, in this alternative meeting world. How do we break the ice?”

 

Junhee hummed and grinned.

 

“I go get the food after we, like, have the polite argument about me paying for the whole thing and then and I pass you my phone as I go get the orders.” Junhee said right away and Donghun opened his mouth “I tell you there are more covers I’ve made there and that, that you can go through my phone.”

 

“That would break the ice because it’d surprise me to have some bloke I barely know give me his phone.”

 

“I’m cheating again” Junhee grinned “because I know you’d be surprised.”

 

“Ah, right” Donghun chuckled “but fair enough. That would be a great ice breaker. Then I’d see you dancing and lose my shit because you’re amazing.”

 

“I’d thank you.”

 

“Then we’d be eating and chatting about music and if the conversation went well, I’d ask for more meetings and, and some dance lessons. Maybe some guitar lessons too.” Donghun chuckled quietly, imagining the scene. It’d definitely be awkward but with Junhee’s easy smile, he’d feel confident about it.

 

“I’d be honoured to comply to all of that” Junhee chuckled with a dreamy smile “I wish, I wish I’d had the guts to message you, hyung. I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be.” Donghun said, softly patting his knee “You found me anyway. So, let’s pretend it was on purpose. Not you fucking up your eyesight.” He clarified and Junhee scoffed “But you meeting me at work. So, thank you for finding me, Park Junhee.” He smiled and Junhee smiled back.

 

“You’re welcome, Lee Donghun.” He said and he passed his guitar over to him “Can you please put it where it won’t get kicked?”

 

“Yeah.” Donghun said and got up to put it behind the couch again as Junhee lied on the couch and pulled the duvet over himself again.

 

“I’m feeling sleepy again” he complained with a yawn “I hate these meds.”

 

“I’m actually feeling a bit sleepy too” Donghun yawned and snorted “I guess I’ll take the armchair again.”

 

Junhee fell silent.

 

“Um, this couch turns into a bed, remember?” He said quietly “Is it, I’m just asking to like, to sleep. Is it too forward?”

 

Donghun’s heartrate increased again and at that rate he’d be dead in no time.

 

“Nope. I sleep with Yuchannie all the time, it’s fine and you already know I won’t lay a finger on you.”

 

“Likewise.” Junhee said as he sat up “I won’t do anything inappropriate to you, hyung.”

 

“I know.” Donghun smiled as he finally got rid of the dreadful coffee table and put the heavy object against the wall, under the messy corner shelf “I’ll go get some bed linen from upstairs.”

 

“Okay.”

 

So, he did and returned with some sheets and a blanket. They already had a duvet.

“Up you come.” He said and Junhee tried to get up, wobbly, and Donghun helped him sit on the armchair before getting rid of the load of pillows Junhee had been leaning against and the chouch’s soft bottom pillows to pull out the foldable bed. The mattress was actually pretty good, he noticed as he covered it with sheets and threw the blanket and the duvet over it before getting some of pillows for them to sleep on “It’s ready.” He said sitting on it to test if it was safe “Yep, good to go.”

He helped Junhee lie down on it and covered him before wondering if he should turn off the lamp and ultimately deciding against it. It was dim anyway and it was safer if he left it on. And then he finally crawled under the covers with Junhee. Both lied on their backs for a moment, in silence before Donghun sighed deeply.

 

“Are you a cuddly sleeper?”

 

“I am.”

 

“So am I.” Donghun said physically feeling himself sending it all to hell and risking it all as he turned to face Junhee who seemed more than willing to cuddle. They each put one arm around each other and left the other hand up. Junhee took the initiative of linking their hands.

“It’s warm.” He said smiling with his cheeks completely red, reflecing Donghun’s no doubt “You’re warm and soft, hyung.”

 

Donghun caressed his hand a little and smiled back.

 

“So are you. Not feverish, are you?”

 

“No, I’m feeling warm.” Junhee assured in a slurry voice and a smile “Thank you for caring.”

 

Donghun didn’t respond to that. He couldn’t believe he was actually lying in a bed together with Park Junhee (platonically, of course, but still). Yuchan would flip when he told him.

 

“You want to sleep, me too. Let’s do that, okay?”

 

“Hm, yes” Junhee smiled sleepily “Thank you, Donghun hyung.”

 

Donghun looked at Junhee’s closed eyelids and his smile from up close. He really was a sight.

 

“Thank you, Junhee ya.” Donghun whispered back with a smile.

 

Junhee probably didn’t hear it because his breath had already evened out and he was clearly asleep. Donghun fell asleep too, looking at his soft features thinking about what he’d do if their feelings didn’t match.

 

He’d want to keep him as a friend.

 

_Definitely._

Donghun fell asleep with that thought reassuring his restless mind.

* * *

 

 

And the day went by. It started raining in the middle of the afternoon and Donghun was busy doing laundry (again) as Junhee plucked softly at the strings of his guitar and took requests from Donghun (under the condition that he already knew the song, of course). He could play the song without knowing the lyrics and Donghun was honestly fascinated by that capacity and told him that. Seeing him smile sheepishly and shrug saying it was no big deal was honestly endearing. Junhee was really a humble guy but he had some sense of how skilled he was and Donghun felt that because he was the same. He thought he was average, but he also knew he was skilled and had room for improvement, still.

Then Donghun got worried about Yuchan getting caught in the rain and texted him just a while after he knew was due to clock out.

**My Baby Channie**

 

Hey, do u have an umbrella on u?

It’s raining a lot

Don’t catch a cold bby

3:35pm

 

He didn’t reply right away so Donghun imagined he was either working overtime or was too busy trying not to get wet and running.

He texted him some 4 duets later. Yes, duets, because at one point in Junhee’s casual music show, Donghun had joined him in the songs and they were both warm and happy as the cold rain pelted relentlessly against the glass of the closed windows. Donghun recorded their slow rendition of Cry Again by Davichi, a song both of them agreed fit their voices and how stupid they were for constantly crying in front of each other. What? Interpretation. The song didn’t tell you precisely what it was about. Donghun was glad he recorded that because their ad-libbing was out of his world.

 

**My Baby Channie**

New Message(s) – (5)

 

SAFE AND HOME THANKS FOR CARING HYUNGIE UWU

[picture sent. It was him standing inside the lobby of his dorms wearing one of those raincoat things that look like a condom and grinning]

I did not have an umbrella!

So I bought this shit on the way lmao

Is this what they call Big Dick Energy? lol

4:10pm

 

Donghun almost choked with the joke and started cackling.

“What?” Junhee asked chuckling a little.

Donghun was going to show him the photo and tell him the joke but he remembered that he would probably not be able to see shit.

“Damn, ah, Yuchannie, he got one of those, you know, those ugly clear raincoats and made a joke he said ‘Is this what they call Big Dick Energy?’” he chuckled “because those things look like giant condoms.” He was still laughing, and he was sitting right beside Junhee on the couch (which had naturally been folded back into a couch after their wholesome morning nap) “I wanted to show you the pic but, fuck, I don’t know if you’ll be able to see it.”

Junhee had his eyes closed because, and they’d talked about that after lunch, he’d gained that habit now and was kind of scared he’d keep it even after his sight was back, but he opened them slowly after rubbing them and blinked a couple time.

 

Donghun didn’t have to ask to know he was seeing something he wasn’t seeing before because he widened his eyes and his jaw dropped.

 

“Hyu-hyung.” He called, blinking a couple more time and holding his forearm “I can, I’m seeing!”

 

“You’re-“ Donghun’s heartrate increase and he smiled from ear to ear but Junhee interrupted him. The picture of Yuchan’s Big Dick Energy was forgotten, naturally.

 

“It’s still, it’s a little bit fuzzy still but I, I can see clearly I can, oh wow” he smiled from ear to ear too “I didn’t know that seeing could be so amazing!” Then he turned his smiling face to Donghun who was looking at him, overjoyed and grinning and he bit his lower lip.

 

“Please, if you do I will too, come on, it’s okay.” Donghun bit his lower lip too but couldn’t stop smiling. Neither of them could and they didn’t cry… _a lot_. Junhee stared at his face for a solid 30 seconds as if he was witnessing a miracle and his smile grew wider as his eyes shone. He didn’t ask for permission before putting his guitar aside and throwing himself onto Donghun’s neck and hugging him. Donghun chortled and let his phone drop behind his own back before returning the hug and wiping his eyes on Junhee’s shoulder.

 

“Underwhelming, right?”

 

“You’re, you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my life, shush, hyung!” Junhee choked out onto his neck, sounding a bit angry, a bit happy, a lot of emotions, probably the reason why he was crying again. The reason they were both crying again.

 

“Yah, you’re just, it’s just because you couldn’t see-“

 

“I said shush!” Junhee complained and got away from him to look in his eyes again, focused for the first time since they’d met, his cheeks flushing and making Donghun blush as well, feeling like a deer caught in headlights, this time for real, because Junhee could see him at long last “you’re really, you’re really beautiful, hyung. Your head is fine and your nose is even nicer up close. I can see your eyes!” He sniffled with a chuckle and his eyes shining in joy “I can see your eyes!”

 

Donghun looked at him and he was still smiling in silence (he’d shut his self-deprecating trap as Junhee wanted). Junhee still had his hands on his shoulders and he’d left his on his waist, waiting for him to talk but he seemed to be too overwhelmed to talk and was just looking at his eyes without blinking and smiling.

 

“Ah” Donghun mumbled and blinked his eyes, feeling sweat form on the back of neck “my face is red, nerd. I get it now” he said and Junhee blinked at last a couple times and sniffled again “you wanted to see my eyes, that’s what you didn’t say this morning, wasn’t it?”

 

“What?” Junhee asked with a small chuckle.

 

“When I asked what you could see, you shut up after saying you could see shadows and outlines.” Donghun clarified “I think I told you I make mental notes.”

 

“Ah” Junhee smiled and looked down for a bit before sniffling and getting away from Donghun, his neck getting red too as he sighed. His smile didn’t waver, though “yes, well, I’m sorry… I just, I wanted to know what kind of you look you had when you, when you looked at me.”

 

Donghun wasn’t waiting for that kind of _in your face_ approach. He’d expected him to say he wanted to see his eyes or something.

 

Not _that._

 

“And, and what kind of look do I have?” Donghun asked (well, he was panicked, sure, but he’d kind of sent that all to hell when they’d cuddled earlier.)

 

Junhee did what everyone does when they don’t want to reply to a risky question.

 

“What kind of look do _I_ have?” He asked back with a small smile.

 

“That’s not fair!” Donghun complained with a nervous chuckle “I don’t know, your eyes are beautiful and, well, you’re looking at me like I’m the last cookie in the can or your favourite cookies or some shit.”

 

Junhee chortled.

 

“Great, great analogy because, yeah, that’s what you feel like.”

 

“Probably broken and smashed” Donghun snorted feeling like he was dreaming and kind of rambling, maybe? “because of the other cookies but I’m the last one, so you’re like, gonna fight anyone to have me.”

 

Junhee was clearly not expecting that either because he looked at him and gulped.

 

“I will.” He said “I will fight anyone to have you” he added and Donghun felt his heart race. That was his fear from before. The fear that Donghun would disappear once he could see again. Donghun felt his heart clench “I don’t care how, but I, I’m gonna be honest, I just want, I just don’t want to lose your presence in my life, hyung” he said and it seemed like he was also in for everything by saying that “I was thinking that, uh, yesterday and I, I just want to keep you around. We’ve met for real a couple days ago but, but I really want to become your friend, hyung.”

 

Donghun, having lost the protection of invisibility felt vulnerable under Junhee’s gaze but even in his hurricane of emotions he felt that it was fair because he’d been seeing Junhee without being seen for the last couple days.

 

“I feel like an idiot, like, aish, I have a dumb look on my face right now” he chuckled but sighed and faced Junhee, like he deserved “but I get you, probably not in the same way, but I get you. I also don’t want to lose your, your presence. I don’t want to go. I told you, I told you I wouldn’t go when you got your eyesight back.” He said, honestly, keeping some of the riskier feelings to himself, sure, but honest anyway.

 

Junhee smiled and closed his eyes again before opening them and looking up.

 

“Baby, please don’t start again, please I feel like my damn eyes will fall off, if we keep on being crybabies!” Donghun chuckled “Look” Junhee looked at him smiling and not crying “what if… what if like, tomorrow, after I drop out of uni, we had that, you know, the shopping centre date thing? If you’re, if you’re not feverish anymore, that is, otherwise we can like, do it some other day, if you want, or something.” He added quickly and Junhee was already grinning happily.

 

“Yes, yes, of course, I mean” he paused to breathe “it won’t be like our scenario but-“

 

“No flexing” Donghun said and Junhee giggled and shut his eyes as he grinned “I mean it, Park Junhee ssi” he chuckled but he gave him a warning look “I’ll pay for the meal, you’ve been paying for everything the last couple days.”

 

“You’ve been-“

 

“Shush” Donghun said and Junhee pursed his lips “I’ll get the expensive sushi and there’s nothing, nothing you can do to stop me.”

 

“Hyung” Junhee whined with a small chuckle “you don’t have to.”

 

“I do. But you gotta be free of fever tomorrow, otherwise I’ll just go and get it and we’ll have it here after I drop out.”

 

Junhee smiled fondly and he looked like he was making an effort to not start yelling.

 

“I’m so happy, hyung, not about, I mean, you’re so kind I just” he chortled and looked in his eyes again “and you were suggesting that you could be a gold digger, _please_.”

 

“Yeah, so I’m not” Donghun snorted “but I could have been, you’d have no way of knowing.”

 

“Well, it’d have been a great gamble, then.” Junhee grinned cheekily and, boy, it’d take Donghun a bit to get used to his eyes on him, staring, lovingly.

 

“Maybe it would, nerd.”

 

Shit, he was gone. He was was head over heels for the guy and that was the last bit of proof he needed.

 

He was gone.

 

Maybe he’d arrived.

* * *

 

 

**My Baby Channie**

Okay so his sight is back

He knows it was me being messy and gay under his pic now

I just showered and am having a mental breakdown in the bathroom

We napped together today like that was cool

Before his sight was back

Nothing happened

No hands aside from cuddling

Like u and I do

10:32pm

Then he got his sight back

And shit he said he’d wanted to see wha look I had

When I looked at him

And I was terrified my messy crush would show

So I asked what he saw

And he asked the question back

10:33pm

And then I was messy and overwelemd

Whelmed

Welemd

Whatever

10:34pm

Shaking fingers

Gays can’t type

Anyway

I said he was looking at me like I was the last cookie

And he said yes, that’s it

But he didn’t tell me what kind of look I had

But he had a soft kind of look help

10:35pm

And said like that he wanted to keep me in his life

And I just went like same

So I said we’d go out tomorrow if he was in better health

And get him sushi

Like in this silly scenario we made up for how we could have met

And now im freaking out

Fuck im spamming you like mad sorry baby

Help a panicked hyung? :’(

10:36pm

 

Yuchan had been reading the texts as they came in and replied right away.

 

Tell him im glad his sight’s back!

Oh lawd, hyung that is lot of stuff!!!

Im so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Firstably im really happy his sight is back !

And that uve talkd and all that messy definitely gay stuff lmao

Also adorable I can imagine ur face!

Bet u blushed and felt like dying hahaha

10:37pm

But I think u did amazing in that chaotic gay mess!

Honesty is really the way to go!

And im so dshfdjghfkj it’s so sweet and good that ur both being so careful

Like not rushing it

10:38pm

 

Donghun felt a little reassured after that string of texts and breathed heavily.

 

Your godsent bby really

Im already less panicked

Okay

But for all I know

Im the only one w a crush

10:39pm

I mean

Damn I wish I could talk but he may listen

Like he said he wanted to keep me as friend

And I feel that too

Like I don’t care that he doesn’t return my gay feelings

10:40pm

I just want him as a friend

I don’t mind not having him any other way

I mean, it’s a bummer sure but

I can’t explain

I just want to have this nerd in my life

10:41pm

Yuchan took a moment to reply.

 

Hyung, for the love of god take a look at your texts

I teared up fdjhgkd u soft bastard!!! >:(

10:42pm

I dont even want to make fun of u

Thats so pure

U two have such good feelings for each other

It’s really good ur being careful!

And makes sense too

10:43pm

Not bc u were taking care of him and stuff

But bc of everything, all the stuff u had in common and didnt kno

I wont call it fate except for the weird way u met fdgjhjdkf

I think that relationships have to be built

And ur feelings for him arent just a fling

10:44pm

I won’t affirm that his feelings match yours but it sounds likely, okay?

What im sure of is that u both have beautiful feelings for each other

And that’s what u should keep in your mind

Don’t rush it, is Yuchan’s advice uwu

10:45pm

 

Donghun breathed deeply. Seriously, talking to Yuchan was better than calming pills. He wasn’t panicked anymore and all that made sense and he’d sure as hell follow the advice.

 

Have I told u that ur the best?

Ur in the wrong degree lol

U should be a counsellor

Ur patients wouldn’t even need drugs to calm down

Don’t rush it, yes

Thank u

10:46pm

That was what I was going for but I needed genius insight <3

I want to know him

I want to become friends

If these feelings I have are still there when the time comes

Then I’ll go and ask

10:47pm

Bc if we’re friends, then we can stay friends

And that’s that

Thank u for my life, kang yuchan

You lil genius <3

10:48pm

Haha a counsellor

Nah, I just like to help my friends out uwu

Im glad I helped hyungie :’)

I’ll be rooting for u!

Fighting! <3

10:48pm

Thank u baby

Hyung loves you

Now im going back to him

Goodnight -3-

10:49pm

 

So he did. He checked his face in the mirror and walked back into the room after turning of the light. They’d be sharing the bed that night and that was the Main Reason Donghun was so panicked in the first place, even though they’d cuddled together earlier.

Junhee seemed to be asleep when when he slid slowly under the covers but Donghun felt him shift and shuffle closer to him. It was dark in the room because he’d turned off the nightstand’s light and Donghun was kind of glad for that because the Invisibility Cloak was temporarily back.

“You’re still awake” Donghun whispered with a chuckle as they held each other again, in the same way as in the afternoon. Junhee’s mattress was heavenly, really. Donghun only realised how uncomfortable his life had been until then after meeting this guy. They left one hand near both their faces and held each other’s hand. Junhee seemed to like that a lot.

“I woke up when you got in bed” Junhee whispered with a voice heavy with sleep but clearly smiling “I wanted to be closer to you because it’s warm like that.”

“Ah” Donghun chuckled and gently rubbed his back “okay, fair enough. Go back to sleep, Jun ah. You’re clearly fighting it.”

 

“I am” Junhee chuckled “but I wanted you back.”

 

Donghun didn’t have a reply to that so he just chuckled softly, feeling his cheeks burn up.

 

“I’m here now, let’s just sleep. I got a degree to drop tomorrow.” He whispered with a small smile and Junhee chuckled before breathing heavily.

 

“Okay, g’night, hyungie.”

 

“Goodnight, baby.”

 

It was amazing the capacity Donghun had to sleep even when he thought his feelings wouldn’t let him. Maybe it was the warmth in them. Maybe it was because they were ‘good’ like Yuchan had put it.

 

They really were good, and he’d make sure not to fuck it all up.

 

He wanted to keep Junhee in life and Junhee wanted to keep him in his.

 

He’d make sure their simple wish came true.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Dongjun covering Cry Again by DAVICHI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jh9gIcjbj74)
> 
>  
> 
> [Original Cry Again by DAVICHI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z39XwJYMfqk)


	16. Dream Date (?) Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghun and Junhee go on their Dream Date but of course it's eventful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello there, choice, my fam, my homies, my lovelies
> 
> so, like i said last week, this week will be the ending but the thing is that, putting it simply, i ended up writing 20k words of this 'ending' so instead of it being a double update it'll be a triple update. WHOOP WHOOP, I guess? this is full of typos but I've given up on thAT because even when it's just the one chapter, it has typos so well, pls bear with them and i'm sorry about weird stuff. i just wanted this to be posted on friday as usual but where i am it's past midnight already so not friday anymore BUT it's only the next day when we sleep and it's friday in plenty of places, still, so yolo /dabs
> 
> anyway, i hope you like this stuff even thought the Date was split in two parts because it got way too long and it's easier to read when it's split up. so it's a dream date in two parts and then finally the last chapter, which is kind of an epilogue thing i hope u dig too. it wasn't rushed, really, i wrote it all week but then today i had a surge of inspiration for some bits and added them in, which let's face it, made it even messier, but life is messy so /double dab/ 
> 
> more notes in the next chapters!!

* * *

 

Not waking up to an empty bed is objectively a great feeling. They both agreed on that even though neither really expressed that feeling, thinking that it could sound weird. Now, waking up nuzzling someone’s hair and with your arms fully wrapped around them is something very few people get to experience because not everyone is as cuddly as Lee Donghun. Junhee didn’t seem to be bothered. In fact, he had somehow found a way to put his arms in the arm Donghun had around his neck and dropping onto his chest. Donghun woke up like that and at first, groggily, he didn’t fully understand what was going on, so his first instinct was to kiss the top of Junhee’s hair, momentarily forgetting that that wasn’t exactly a ‘not rushing it’ move, considering his feelings and resolutions the previous day. It was just a thing he did when he slept with someone he liked. It was a peck, just barely there.

Then he remembered it was Junhee and cussed mentally but didn’t move away from him. He let himself stay where he was, without moving, waiting for Junhee to wake up and give him a sign that he was also awake.

 

“Hyung…” he heard his soft sleep heavy voice call him with a smile “did you kiss my hair?”

 

Donghun groaned a little but, still, didn’t move away.

 

“I’m sorry” he said softly hearing his own sleep laden voice “I do that when I, when I sleep with someone I like… don’t think too much of it, okay? I’ll try not to do it again.”

 

Junhee was silent for a moment and didn’t move away either. He actually held loosely onto Donghun’s arm.

 

“I don’t mind it” he said and finally moved but not to get up or shuffle away. He rolled around and faced Donghun “I’m sorry about morning breath.” He chuckled, lowering his face. Donghun was caught by surprise but he kept holding him since it was clear that they both wanted that. The laziness and warmth of morning cuddles in bed “You can do that, if you let me do it too, if I happened to wake up as the big spoon.”

 

Donghun chuckled a little. With his bedhead and sleepy eyes and a lazy smile, he was looking all sorts of adorable and Donghun was a man of many skills, but he didn’t possess the skill not to hug someone cute tighter when he got the chance. Junhee giggled when he tightened the hug and rubbed his face on his shoulder.

 

“Yah… don’t look so cute.” He complained and Junhee grinned “Of course, yeah, you can kiss my hair too. Sorry I did that without, you know, asking.”

 

“It’s fine, hyung. You barely brushed your lips against my hair. My scalp is just very sensitive.” Junhee chuckled and Donghun smiled a little.

 

“Arlight, then. Permission to put my lips on your forehead. That’s, that’s actually the best way to feel temperature because, you know, the skin on our lips is sensitive.” He sighed a little “And your forehead is right here.”

 

“Go ahead, hyung.” Junhee said quietly. So Donghun did and he felt that Junhee’s temperature was warm but not fever-warm. He smiled when he pulled his lips away.

 

“You don’t feel feverish” he said “do you feel cold?”

Junhee shook his head a little and grinned happily and his cheeks were adorably pink.

“I feel really warm, actually. In a good way.” He said “Does that mean that…”

“We’re going out?” Donghun said with a smile “Yeah, I’ll just have to borrow some of your clothes and maybe a pair of shades and, uh, we can get dustmasks somewhere on the way.”

“Sounds good by me!”

“Great.” Donghun said “I’m supposed to be dying of chickenpox, so I won’t risk being seen out and about, breathing health.”

Junhee chuckled and they finally, reluctanctly, really, got away from each other.

“I can shower alone today.” Junhee said.

“Look, baby, if you want that backwash, I got a pair of hands and am happy to do it for you.” Donghun snorted and Junhee smiled so wide, his face glowed in the dim light of the nightstand Donghun had just turned on.

“That’d be nice, yes. Thank you, hyungie.”

“I was your boyfriend turned husband for like a day but that doesn’t mean I can’t keep fulfilling my marital duties.” Donghun joked and Junhee chuckled with his face completely red, covering his face with both hands “Yah, don’t act so cute, come on. Or I’ll hug you again.” Donghun threatened with a chuckle.

 

“That’s a bad threat, hyung!” Junhee cackled “Hug me, then, if you dare!”

 

Donghun didn’t need to be told twice but this time instead of just hugging him he also tickled his sides a little, for a reaction and watched him squirm and giggle.

 

“Yah, I’ll tickle you too!” He said, “I don’t care that you’re my hyung!”

 

“Come at me, Park Junhee!” Donghun grinned and honestly, it was so easy to get along with Junhee. He’d thought he’d be awkward on so many occasions, but he’d just laughed everything off and didn’t mind being bold in return.

 

How they ended up having a sleepy tickle fight first thing in the morning was something that science would have to explain. Donghun felt his heart stop, though, when they both lost balance and rolled off the bed. He had a millisecond to put his arm around Junhee’s neck and his hand on the back of head to prevent him from hitting it on the floor.

 

“Junhee ya!” He called desperately “Are you alright!?”

 

Junhee was breathing heavily but he suddenly burst out laughing.

 

“Shit, I am. Thanks, hyung. You, you protected my head.” He sighed deeply “I saw my life flash before my eyes!”

 

Donghun breathed heavily and held him for a while longer, hiding his face on his shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry, it was my fault. No more tickle fights in the morning” he breathed “let’s, let’s go to the bathroom…” he muttered.

 

“Hyung.” Junhee called putting both hands on Donghun’s face to make him look him his now seeing eyes “It’s fine. It wasn’t your fault. I was playing too.”

 

“But you’ve barely gotten you sight back” Donghun complained, pulling Junhee up as they both sat down on the floor “I got carried away.”

 

“So did I.” Junhee said “And you didn’t let me hit my head, so it’s alright.” Then he paused and grinned at him “Next time will be better for sure!”

 

Donghun snorted and felt his heart skip a beat.

 

_Next time._

 

“Hopefully.” He added and Junhee cackled as he stood up and reached his hand down to help Donghun up. Donghun took the hand and let Junhee help him up.

 

Finally, after all those days, it was Junhee helping Donghun do something.

* * *

 

Donghun was more into night showers but Junhee was okay with both. While Junhee showered, without needing much help aside from Donghun grabbing his underwear (which since he could see took off before getting in the shower box and was dry for once), Donghun shaved and did his skincare.

Junhee was so happy picking his own outfit for the day for the first time in what felt like ages, that Donghun really wanted to snap a picture so that he could remember. Donghun even let him pick an outfit for him and would not have him go commando, so he fished a pack of unopened and definitely expensive underwear from the underwear drawer and handed him a pair. Donghun wanted to decline but he insisted so much (and the argument that his dick could get caught in the zipper of the pants he was borrowing from him was so compelling, really) that he accepted. He got dressed from the waist down while Junhee showered and even had time to shave and do skincare while at it.

Then Junhee asked for the backwash (the reason why Donghun hadn’t put on clothes from the waist up, so that they wouldn’t get wet, mind), and after that was done he put on the rest of the clothes and passed Junhee the towel. He came out of the box with the towel rolled around his waist and put on his underwear before dropping the towel and getting dressed. He put a towel around his neck and shoulders so that he wouldn’t wet his clothes while shaving.

“It’s nice to shave myself after so long!” He said as he finished up and rubbed the aftershave before resuming the skincare routine.

Donghun smiled.

“How are your eyes today?”

“Barely fuzzy now!” He grinned as he patted his face dry and looked at him with a sparky smile, with his wet black hair pulled back.

Donghun smiled back despite his racing heart.

“Great” he said “you should wear good shades too, though. To prevent the strong lights outside.”

“I will, Donghun hyung, don’t worry.“

Donghun nodded and they left the bathroom after putting all the used clothes in the basket.

* * *

 

 

Donghun convinced Junhee to wear his thickest winter coat and wore his own coat when they left. They also put on winter caps and shades. _No need to stop for dustmasks, hyung_ , Junhee had said, _I have a bunch here._ So, they left the flat already fully hidden and protected against the ruthless environment. Donghun didn’t forget Junhee’d medication and put it in his pocket to give it to him after they had breakfast. Junhee had said he was paying for it in a nice bakery nearby.

It was really fucking nice, Donghun noticed. Really high-end stuff. The kind of place he’d run past.

“You’re flexing anyway” he complained as they ate the expensive ass food Junhee had ordered after asking Donghun if he had any allergies or things he hated. Junhee just laughed. Neither of them had taken off their shades and the employees were giving them weird looks “and the workers think we’re about to pull a dine ‘n’ dash.” Junhee almost choked.

“I should have brought the cane.” He said and Donghun snorted “I’m joking, I wouldn’t do that.” He said and looked back to see their faces “They’re being a bit rude. I have breakfast here all the time.” He complained a little “Is it that hard to tell it’s me, just because of the shades?”

 

Donghun didn’t reply but Junhee seemed to want an answer.

 

“Oh, you want me to reply?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Then the answer is no.” He chuckled as he ate the fancy ass delicious cake Junhee had ordered for him and chased it with coffee “I could tell it was you right away that night” he paused “though it was mostly because I recognised your shirt… then I recognised your mouth and hair.”

“Ah” Junhee nodded “the hair, it’s black now.” He chuckled “Almost forgot that. Anyway, I’ll make sure they know it’s me when I pay at the end.” He said.

 

Donghun loved to see that petty side of Junhee because he could relate.

As promised, he did make sure they knew it was him at the end.

They walked together to the counter (Donghun couldn’t leave the stuff on the table even though Junhee was pissy and wanted to do that, even though he never did. Donghun didn’t like doing that because he knew how annoying it was to collect the stuff people left scattered on the tables at McDonald’s) and Junhee pulled his shades down a little to face the employee behind the till, someone he clearly knew and gasped when she recognised him.

“Jun-Junhee oppa!” She called with her face going completely red even under the foundation “we, we didn’t recognise you.”

“I know.” He smiled, pulling his shades back onto his eyes as the other employees behind the counter lowered their eyes and he dialled the pin on the card reading machine.

“You, you changed your hair and, and…”

“And I can’t get strong lights on my eyes because I had an accident a couple days ago.” He clarified, always smiling and consequently making her feel guiltier and more embarrassed “Judging people by their looks like that isn’t very nice, is it?”

She was lost for words and seemed like she wanted to vanish. Donghun would have gotten a little upset at how passive-aggressive he was being, but that wasn’t McDonald’s or some cheap ass place, it was an expensive ass bakery, so screw it, really. He was doing God’s work.

She bowed profusely as did the other employees as she handed him his receipt after he paid.

“We’re very sorry!” She said.

“It’s okay.” He said and Donghun could tell that he meant it “I just hope you don’t do it again, okay?”

“We won’t!” She exclaimed “Thank you!”

“Thank you, the food was great.” Junhee smiled warmly before bowing a little too and signing at Donghun that it was time to go.

Donghun bowed a little too and beelined behind Junhee out of that bakery.

“Junhee ya” he said when they got in Junhee’s car. Donghun would be driving, since Junhee was already medicated and his meds would kick in before they got anywhere “that was brutal.”

“I don’t like it when people judge others by their appearance like that.” He said as they put on their seatbelts “I wasn’t even mean.”

“Exactly” Donghun said with a snort, starting the car “that’s why it was so brutal. You killed them with kindness.”

“That’s how I go about things like this” he said as they drove off to Donghun’s Faculty “sometimes I get angry with things, but with these things… I mean” he sniffled a little as he pulled the dustmask over his face again. Donghun followed his example “I can get pissed when people are rude, but I know those people so” he shrugged “I hope they learnt the lesson.”

 

Donghun chuckled, keeping his eyes on the road. Junhee’s car was so smooth to drive he was almost crying about it. He drove a shitty old Hyundai that didn’t even start on rainy days without being pushed. Junhee drove a state-of-the-art Nissan Qashqai with all the extras and inbuilt GPS and parking sensors.

 

He really kept on realising that he’d been living in an awful bachelor pad, one step away from wiping his ass with sandpaper, from how uncomfortable everything he owned was.

 

“You’ve been making big bucks.” Donghun commented when they around two blocks away from his Uni after talking about cars for a bit and then talking about their family’s cars and ultimately ending up talking about baseball because someone mentioned it on the radio.

“Not from youtube, even though it does pay alright, I guess.” He chuckled “It’s all my sponsors.” He explained “I’ve also been saving and investing my money, you know? I’m not completely stupid.”

“I know, I didn’t say that.” Donghun chuckled and Junhee snorted.

“Yeah, well, I like to live comfortably but, well, I don’t know until when this youtube thing will work or if I’ll ever make it as an artist, so, it’s all there, for a rainy day.” He said and Donghun smiled.

“Well, I’ve also been saving a lot of money” he confessed “but I live, well, you’ll see it when we pop by later to get my clothes.”

 

(They’d agreed that it was a good idea for Donghun to crash at Junhee’s until he stopped taking those meds that made his body feel like jelly. For prevention.

Yeah.)

“I’m sure it’s not that bad, hyung” Junhee said with a smile “I’ve seen your room and living room. They look alright.”

“You’ll see it.” Donghun snorted and kept driving.

* * *

 

 

Junhee stayed in the car as Donghun strutted into his faculty’s student support room and dropped out after filling out the paperwork and repeating some five time that yes, he was sure he wanted to do that. Junhee was already kind of numb from the meds but he left his phone recording the audio in his pocket to show him later because it was a riot. When he got back to the car, he saw Junhee slowly bobbing his head to some music he’d plugged onto the radio with the aux cord and his phone. He smiled at him.

“I can put the radio back on if you, if you don’t like my stuff.” Junhee said.

“It’s your car and I like your music” Donghun reminded him with a snort and he was about to put the folded paper that testified that he had indeed dropped out but he decided to give it to Junhee for him to read “there. It’s official. I’m now free of that shit.” Junhee squinted at the paper and Donghun saw him mouth the words before smiling and handing it back.

“Congratulations, hyung.” He said.

“Just gonna take a pic real quick to send Yuchannie.” He said with a chuckle and put the sheet of paper on his thigh before snapping a picture and sending it.

 

 

**My Baby Channie**

It’s done

Im officially free

yeehaw

10:01am

 

Oh my godddddd

YASS!! CONGRATS HYUNG!

Are u still around??

I didnt have the 9am lol

Woke up early for nothing yeet

10:02am

 

“Oh, he’s free” Donghun smiled and looked at Junhee “do you want to meet Kang Yuchan at last?”

“Yeah!” Junhee grinned “Of course, it’ll be a great honour!”

 

I am, outside in the oarking place by the library

Parking***

In a silver Nissan qashqai

It’s junhee’s car

Come over

10:03am

Oh man

Is he okay with it??

10:03am

Yeah, he’s happy to meet u

Come on bby

10:04am

 

 

Junhee looked kind of anxious under his shades but also kind of calm, probably because of his meds. No, scratch that, definitely because of his meds.

Donghun heard a knock on the window some ten minutes later and looked to the side to see Yuchan’s grinning face. He grinned back and rolled down his window.

“Hello!” Yuchan greeted before giving any of them time to say anything “Before you get all awkward, let’s get rid of the awkwardness right away. I’m Kang Yuchan, you know me, I know you and I’ve heard a lot about you. Also been a hot glue for a long time. Big fan.”

“Thank you.” Junhee smiled and bowed his head a little “I’m also a fan of your work.”

Donghun sighed deeply and Junhee chuckled looking at him before pulling his shades up to his forehead a little and squinting to avoid the light as much as possible.

“Wow, hyung was right, you’re really more beautiful in the flesh!” Yuchan grinned and Junhee chuckled, blushing a little.

“Thank you. You’re cuter in the flesh, Kang Yuchan ssi.” Junhee said and Yuchan winced at the formal honorific.

“Can I call you hyung? I feel like I already know you. I’m younger than you by a couple years, too.” Yuchan leant into the car “How’s your health?”

Yuchan was really like a walking energy drink because even Junhee, high off his ass on his strong meds, felt more perked up talking to him. Donghun was just silent, waiting for Yuchan to make him feel embarrassed, like the little shit he was.

“I’m feeling a lot better, thank you, Yuchan ah” Junhee replied with a smile “thanks to Donghun hyung.”

“Who didn’t want to tell you who he was because he’s a fool.” Yuchan said impishly.

There it was. Attack on Donghun Party was on.

“Yah!” Donghun complained and Junhee chuckled.

“I also didn’t tell him I knew.” He appeased and Donghun looked at him, feeling grateful “We both know, now, so it doesn’t matter.”

Yuchan shook his fist and closed his eyes.

“I like your attitude a lot!” He said “I also like your videos, can’t wait for the music though. Don’t worry, it wasn’t Donghun hyung who told me. Byeongkwan hyung did.” He grinned and Junhee chuckled. Yuchan was lying to protect Donghun but it really wasn’t needed.

“Even if it’d been Donghun hyung, it’d have been alright” Junhee said “you’re trustworthy. Byeongkwannie told me you knew about him and Sehyoon hyung and kept the secret.”

“Not from Donghun hyung, I didn’t.” He smiled a little.

“He’s also trustworthy.” Junhee smiled and Yuchan cupped his own face, propping his elbows on the rolled down window, smiling adoringly.

“Can I just say that you guys are both adorable?”

The little nerd.

“Aw, thank you, Yuchan ah. You’re the cutest though.” Junhee said and Donghun huffed and looked at his best friend with a face that made him chuckle.

“I love you too, hyungie. Don’t give me that look!” Yuchan said, grinning and making a kissy face that made Junhee chuckle “This hyung loves kisses and hugs, beware! He’ll make you feel like the most loved person in the world!” He said to Junhee hiding his smile with a faux serious look. Junhee grinned.

“I’m becoming aware of that.”

“He’s also prone to being mean sometimes, but it’s all love, so don’t worry.” Yuchan grinned and Donghun rolled his eyes.

“Okay, is the ‘Donghun Roasting Party’ over, is that what you wanted to see me for?” He complained half-heartedly.

“You know I love you, hyungie. Lemme smooch that beautiful cheek!” He puckered his lips and didn’t wait for Donghun to say he could before grabbing his face like it was free real estate and smooching it. The gesture made Junhee cover his mouth and chuckle. Donghun snorted and shook his head “I’d smooch Junhee hyung’s too, but we met today and that would be kind of not cool so” he sent him a flying kiss that Junhee pretended to catch and pressed to his chest before sending one back that made Yuchan grin and pretend to catch too before rubbing it on his chest as well “I can die happy now, I got a direct flying kiss from Park Junhee. This is the life.” He said dramatically.

Junhee started cackling and Donghun was quick to follow before all three of them were laughing. Well, that’s a way to make buddies on the first meeting: you’re crackheads together. That’s it, that’s the best trick.

* * *

 

 

“I liked Yuchan ah.” Junhee said when they pulled up at the shopping centre where they’d be having their “Dream Date”.

They’d been talking about their friends and their quirks all the way there (it wasn’t a long drive). After Donghun talked about his other mates, he went on about his best friend, whom he’d met a year before at McDonald’s, before finding out they were both in the same degree, only that Yuchan was a fresher. Donghun had been working there for almost two years, he told Junhee, and he hadn’t made any friends but with Yuchan it was almost immediate. The boy seemed to have a thing for finding the outcasts and trying to befriend them. Or he was just extreremly easygoing and easy to befriend. It turned out that they had a shitload of things in common, starting from their passion for music and youtube channels filled with covers. They made plans to collab at one point a while later, but the chance only came a long while after that since they were always either too tired or Yuchan had to study so there was no time, until that beautiful day they’d not only collaborated but Yuchan had also introduced Donghun to Junhee’s channel.

“He’s very likable” Donghun said with a chuckle “we always banter like that. He’s a really good kid. A genius, too. He doesn’t even like business management, but he’s top of the class.” He snorted, circling the car to go make sure Junhee got out alright since the medication was sure to be kicking in. Junhee could get out but he wobbled and leant against the car. Donghun sighed and beeped the car locked after shutting the door and pocketing the keys “Are you feeling alright?” Donghun asked standing in front of him.

“I am, yeah” Junhee mumbled with a snort “I just feel like I’ll fucking, ugh, like I’ll collapse. My legs feel like they weigh a ton and everything’s numb.” He complained and Donghun just passed an arm around his waist and held him upright, firmly. He put a sluggish arm around his neck and Donghun grabbed his hand.

“If someone says anything” Donghun complained “I’ll fart on them.”

Junhee giggled at the silly threat as they walked slowly to the elevators, since they’d parked in the underground parking place.

Dream Date? Sure thing. That was definitely not what was going to happen, now, was it? Realistically speaking, what were the odds of everything going perfectly? For starters, Junhee needed Donghun to hold him upright, which could be seen as lovey-dovey behaviour, sure, but anyone with a working pair of eyes and a matching brain could tell that Donghun was holding Junhee because he couldn’t stand on his own. The most likely thing to happen would be people thinking that Junhee was drunk.

People did look but nobody commented, which was terrific. Minding your business is a damn good thing to do.

Donghun noticed a couple people literally trying to sniff for alcohol and had to fight off the urge to kick them in the nose but other than that, they’d just have to make it up to the food court and sit down for a while. Junhee could lean against something if he was too sleepy and then Donghun would go get them food.

 

But of course that wouldn’t be that simple.

 

They reached the second floor, which was not the food court and were pushed outside by the tons of people in the elevator.

 

“Okay, fuck” Donghun cussed under his breath as the doors closed and they couldn’t get back in again.

“What’s wrong, hyung?” Junhee asked, airily “Why are we out of the elevator? Thought we were, we were headed for the 5th floor?”

“We were pushed out” Donghun complained and clicked his tongue walking them further onto the second floor which was just Women’s clothing, basically “and the doors closed and we couldn’t get back in. Shit, I don’t even know when it’ll return.” He complained “Let’s, I don’t know, find a damn seat or something.”

So, they walked slowly, trying not to bump onto anyone until they found a free couch in front of Chanel. And of course that one would be free. Who’d sit waiting outside that expensive ass store?

The couch was fairly comfortable and very grey. It was actually more comfortable than the chairs at the food court so Junhee could actually sit comfortably and just lean onto Donghun’s shoulder for a nap if he wanted. It was warm in the shopping centre, too, which was good for Junhee’s health.

Donghun was reminded of their first night together at that taxi stop and the difference was jarring.

That was warm and comfortable. Junhee could see and knew he was him and was getting healthier day by day. That night it was freezing, Junhee was blind and in awful pain.

Donghun kept his arm around him and let him rest his head on his shoulder. Surprisingly, nobody commented on the two lads being overly close in front of Chanel, however, after a while of sitting there in comfortable silence and also feeling kind of sleepy Donghun started hearing murmurs from afar that became louder and louder until they were at earshot just not quite in front of Chanel.

“… you never fucking listen to me, Soomin ah!” A man was yelling “You just do whatever you want!”

“Oh, I do, do I?” The woman, “Soomin ah”, who was pushing a pushchair with a very confused toddler on it “I didn’t buy that EXPENSIVE barbeque grill last week without consulting you first, though!”

“That was needed!”

“We live in a flat, oppa!” She yelled back “Where are we gonna throw the barbeque parties!? In the toilet!? We don’t even have a veranda! That was a complete waste of money!”

“You also didn’t need that expensive perfume!”

“At least I can fucking use it!”

“It smells bad!”

CRASH.

“THERE!” She shouted and the baby was crying and people were passing by them and pretending not to see them. Donghun was just flabbergasted and feeling sorry for the baby, who wasn’t older than 3 years old “GONE!”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE DONE THAT!” The man yelled back in horror and anger “IT WAS EXPENSIVE!”

“YOU JUST SAID IT SMELLED BAD, SO I DON’T WANT TO WEAR IT ANYMORE, ASSHOLE!”

“I, I DIDN’T MEAN IT” He yelled sounding both guilty and angry “YOU’RE SO IMPULSIVE!”

“YOU BOUGHT A BARBEQUE GRILL FOR OUR TINY FLAT WHEN YOU” she was yelling so much her voice cracked and she had a coughing fit “ _FUCK_ , HAVE A SHITTY JOB AND SO HAVE I. WE CAN BARELY AFFORD THAT SHITTY FLAT WE HAVE.”

Donghun saw the passersby hasten their gait as they walked past them and the baby on the pushchair, who was crying and terrified of their parents’ shouting and had somehow managed to unclip the belt with their tiny fingers and had hopped off the chair and started running away. The parents didn’t notice because they were now busy dissing their jobs and their flat and each other’s dumbass unnecessary purchases. The baby was running away towards where Donghun and Junhee were sat so Donghun did what any responsible adult would do. He pulled his shades to his head and his dustmask to his neck and called the kid as he was running by.

“Hey, hey, you’ll fall” he called and the crying kid actually stopped and looked at him. It was a little boy “what’s wrong?”

“Mummy and daddy they’re, they’re” the kid mumbled between sobs “talk loud. Jaehyun is scared.”

Donghun felt really sorry for the kid and tried to smile a little.

“Jaehyun ah, why don’t you sit here with Donghun hyung for a bit? Mum and dad will notice that you’re here in a bit. It’s okay.”

“Okay…” The kid sniffled and climbed onto the couch with him and Junhee.

“Hyung” Junhee called looking at the kid and pulling his shades up as well before pulling his mask down “who’s this baby?”

“It’s Jaehyun ah” Donghun smiled with a little sigh and gestured towards the still yelling parents “his mummy and daddy are having… a little moment.”

“Oh” Junhee said softly and smiled “nice to meet you, Jaehyun ah! I’m Junhee hyung.”

“Hi, Junhee hyung…” the baby sniffled and Donghun ruffled the baby’s hair and let him lean on him too. That seemed to help him stop crying “Why, why are mummy and daddy… yell?”

 

How to explain to a kid the concept of wasting money and pettiness and frustration and adulthood?

 

“They’re tired.” Junhee said softly “They’re very tired. Not because of Jaehyunie, no. It’s because of other things.”

The baby nodded a bit and sniffled and Donghun reached his sleeve to wipe his eyes.

“It’s okay, Jaehyunie.”

“What’s perfume?” The baby asked and Donghun chuckled.

“Hm, it’s like… something people use to make them smell better when they smell bad.”

The baby thought about it, clearly, from the small frown on his forehead. Then he looked up at them.

“Like when they poo?”

Donghun and Junhhe chuckled which made the kid smile a little.

“Yeah, like when they poo. When people poo they need to smell better so that they can, uh, go and make friends.” Donghun said and Junhee grinned closing his eyes “Because nobody likes a friend that smells like poo.” He explained and the baby giggled.

“Like Mingguk ah. He smells like poo sometimes.” The baby told them and then chuckled which made him giggle again “Maybe Mingguk ah needs perfume.”

“Maybe he does. If you go to his birthday party, ask mummy and daddy to give him perfume as a gift.” Junhee said with a grin and the baby giggled again.

Sure enough, the shouting stopped, probably because the parents of Jaehyun had run out of breath and then suddenly they noticed that their kid was missing and started panicking and blaming each other again before the mum spotted the kid just a bit further ahead, sitting with two strangers and both she and the dad dashed towards them only to find that the baby was having a good time.

“We were just keeping an eye on him for you” Donghun said looking at the parents who seemed ready to start yelling at them too “since you were too busy arguing to notice that he wasn’t happy with it.”

The guilt on their faces was immediate. Jaehyun latched onto Donghun’s arm and looked down, pouting.

“Mummy is sorry, Jaehyun ah.” The woman said shakily.

“Daddy’s sorry too.” The man knelt before him and tried to smile a little “We shouldn’t have started yelling.”

“Are you, are you tired?” The baby asked and the man looked up at Donghun who pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows and the man sighed a little.

“Yes, we’re tired… when, when people are tired, they yell sometimes. We love Jaehyunie anyway, even if we yell.”

“Yes!” The woman knelt too “We do, we love our Jaehyunie very much!”

“Please don’t yell again…” the baby asked and the parents nodded “and get Mingguk ah perfume for his birthday.”

“What?” The father asked looking at the too older brothers who smiled.

“Mingguk ah smells like poo… people who smell like poo should have perfume. Hyung told me.” He pointed at the hyungs who were trying not to laugh. The man actually smiled a little, deciding at last that they were trustworthy.

“We’ll get Mingguk ah some perfume then” the mum said with a chuckle “now let’s, let’s go home, okay?”

“Okay…” the baby hopped off the couch and let himself be hugged his parents who mouthed a thank you to the two kind older brothers who dismissed it with a smile. The family went away after a while and Jaehyun seemed sad to say bye to his new hyungs but he’d sure forget them soon anyway, so it’d all be alright.

 

“That’s a thing that just happened.” Junhee snorted and yawned before pulling his shades back down and his dustmask back up. Donghun scoffed and followed his example.

 

“It is indeed.” He said “Let’s try to go up to the food court before it starts filling up.”

 

“Great idea.”

 

And off they went to the food court for (hopefully) a peaceful meal time.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Crackhead content and more fluff.


	17. Dream Date (?) Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhee and Donghun finish their date after getting Furniture and they visit Donghun's sandalwood smelling bachelor pad. Then they film some videos and Junhee gets a gift that looks just like him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> henlo again
> 
> okay, so tw for mentions of mob stuff?? i guess that can be triggering even though it's kind of meant as a joke here. i hope it's not offensive, it's really self-defense. i hope that u bear in mind that this is a self-indulgent fic and that some events may or may not be inspired by stuff that i've experienced or witnessed or even felt. that's what self-indulgent means to me anyway. well, this is the last chapter in the current timeline the next one has a bunch of time skips because see i thought that dragging the whole thing through a bunch of chapters wouldn't be, i don't even know. i can't explain it. it's just that i wanted a long time to pass and going through all that time very slowly would only be frustrating and pointless??? like this is already VERY SLOW burn and even the last chapter, which is supposed to be an epilogue where everything's solved and reaches a peak, is over 7k words long lol i hope u dig that bc im really not sure abt it, all this is experimental so yea, tell me things.
> 
> and the final notes, shall come in the last chapter, which will be uploaded right away!

* * *

 

The date was already being eventful and memorable and thankfully nobody really said anything about Donghun helping Junhee get to the food court and they found a bunch of empty tables, since it was still relatively early for lunch, so they took a corner booth with decent pews that allowed them to sit in front of each other and let Junhee lean against the wall.

 

“I’m the worst company.” Junhee snorted in a low slurred voice and Donghun chuckled.

 

“You’re not. It’s good like this.”

 

“I’m high and sleepy.”

 

“But not dumb.”

 

“Not dumb.” Junhee confirmed with a small giggle “Yeah, not dumb. Just feeling like jelly.”

 

“Hey, at least you’re not feverish anymore and your cold seems to have gone away.” Donghun smiled. Junhee smiled back.

 

“All thanks to you, hyung.” He said “You really nursed me back to health.”

 

“Well” Donghun chuckled a bit awkwardly, sniffling “you’re still not 100%.” He said “How was the pain this morning?”

 

“Hm” Junhee mused and pouted a bit “bearable? It didn’t feel like, like, uh, like someone was pickaxing my head like the first two days” he gestured with both hands and dropped them on his thighs, sighing.

 

Donghun stared at him.

 

“That bad?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“And you just said ‘ _it hurts’_ ” he muttered “damn, I don’t even want to imagine the pain.”

 

“It’s alright now, hyung” Junhee smiled lazily, reassuringly “I’m numb all over now.” He snorted a little.

 

“We can wait until the effect wears out a bit, you usually get more perked up after lunch.” Donghun suggested with a small smile, crossing his arms over the table after taking off his shades and folding them on the table.

 

Junhee hummed and smiled back, nodding.

 

“Thank you, hyung.” He said “Well, this won’t really be like we imagined because we, well, we’ve already talked about all those things.”

 

“And more.” Donghun added with a chuckle.

 

“And more.” Junhee repeated “So we can talk about random stuff like, food. What are you favourite foods and stuff like that.”

 

Donghun snorted and looked down.

 

“We’ll play 30 questions?”

 

“We can.” Junhee chuckled and Donghun chuckled and shook his head.

 

“Alright then, you go first.”

 

“Okay” Junhee said and gave it some thought “hm, what’s your favourite season?”

 

“An easy one, good start” Donghun complimented before replying and asking the question back.

 

“Winter too” he said “that’s when we met.”

 

“Damn, that’s cheesy but fair.”

 

That was actually his reason too.

* * *

 

 

 

They actually had a bunch of fun asking each other progressively sillier questions after the normal ‘what’s your favourite season/colour/time of day/flavour’ and then the middle ground ones like ‘when was your first kiss/time/any broken bones’ and finally the crackhead ones.

“Okay, this is probably 25” Donghun wheezed after Junhee finished his tale about how he’d sprained his ankle because he decided to climb a tree when he was six because he wanted to pretend that he was an apple “uh, so what would you do if suddenly there was no internet, electricity or tap water?”

 

Junhee cackled.

 

“Well, probably try to knock down my door” he said “since it’s got a code, I wouldn’t be able to open it.”

 

“It’s got a keyhole too.”

 

“Oh” Junhee snorted “yeah, it does, I almost forget about that. So, I’d look for the key, I guess. What would you do?”

 

“I don’t know” Donghun snorted “I’d probably sit back and enjoy watching the world set itself on fire before eventually dying in a stampede as I, uh, tried to look for my friends and family.”

 

Junhee laughed heartily.

 

“Let’s make a promise then” Junhee said “if the world is ending, like, we’ll try to find each other.”

 

Donghun grinned. He was thinking about him too.

 

“We will.”

 

“And try not to die in a stampede.” Junhee added and Donghun chuckled and nodded.

 

“You can use the top of your fucking coffee table as a shield, 100% protection guaranteed” Junhee chortled “and with the right amount of adrenalin you could even throw the motherfucker.”

 

“That shit is heavy though” Junhee said “how would I even carry it around?”

 

“I don’t know” Donghun chortled and looked at he time on his phone.

 

_Holy shit._

 

“How the fuck is it 1pm!?” He looked around and saw the food court completely filled with people “Okay, I’m gonna get the food.”

“Hyung, I can…”

“Stay right here waiting for me, yes, you can do that.” Donghun said firmly, standing up “I’ll be back in a spell.”

“Okay.” Junhee said and smiled.

 

So Donghun went to get the expensive ass sushi and made sure to get a load to make it count. Then he got bubble tea for both of them and after almost half an hour he returned to the table.

 

He saw Junhee looking kind of upset.

 

“What’s wrong?” He asked putting the tray on the table and passing Junhee his food and getting his own in front of him before putting a cup of bubble tea in front of each.

 

“Some damn kids” Junhee muttered, snapping the chopsticks “demanded that I got out so that they could sit here.” He scoffed.

“What the fuck?” Donghun looked around but there were no kids in sight “What did you say?”

“I told them I was waiting for my friend to bring the food… at first” he started and took a small bite of a bit of sushi, the pleased face he made betrayed his mood “delicious.” He smiled a little “then they accused me of lying and tried to get me away by force so I, I kind of kicked one of them and told all three of them to fuck off or I’d murder them and send them in a box to their families. They apologised and ran away.”

 

“You did… you said… _what!_?” Donghun almost choked on his food and Junhee chortled.

 

“I guess the look helped” Junhee said with a grin, pointing at the shades on his face and the winter cap he hadn’t removed and the black winter coat “they definitely thought I was a mobster.”

 

“Jesus Christ, you wild, man!” Donghun cackled as he ate his sushi “You fucking threatened to chop them up and, God, what kind of films have you been watching!?”

 

“The right kind, it seems.” Junhee grinned cheekily.

 

“Well” Donghun said and snorted “now that your sight is back, I guess we can watch some wholesome family-friendly films.”

 

“Your sad romance films, hyung?” Junhee grinned cheekily.

 

“They’re good though” Donghun complained “and some of them aren’t sad, they’re funny and end well. There are some Hollywood ones you really have to watch.”

 

“I hope they’re subtitled.”

 

“They’re on Netflix.”

 

Junhee grinned.

 

“Are you inviting me for some Netflix and chill, hyung?”

 

Donghun choked again but his response was interrupted by the sound of Junhee’s phone ringing.

 

“Oh” Junhee fished it out of his pocket with clumsy fingers and looked at the screen “ah, it’s Kwannie… damn, I kind of forgot to tell him I can see again.” He picked up the call “Hi, Kwannie!”

 

“Hi, hyung, you _traitor_ ” Byeongkwan greeted and Junhee put him on speaker and Donghun snorted at the word he heard _traitor_ “how come I have to know you can see again through, Yuchannie?”

“Donghun hyung is here, we’re having sushi” Junhee deflected masterfully and Donghun grinned “say hi!”

“Hi, Kim Byeongkwan, nice to talk to you.” Donghun greeted and Byeongkwan gasped.

“Oh damn, uh” he stumbled “hi, Lee Donghun ssi. It’s nice to talk to you too, finally. _After so long_.” He said, clearly taking a jab at Junhee who was peaceful and calm and smiling.

“Better late than never!” Junhee exclaimed and Byeongkwan snorted.

“I can’t even believe you two actually met” he said “how could you even start a conversation with him?”

“I pretended I didn’t know it was him.” Junhee snorted.

“And I pretended I didn’t know him too.” Donghun chuckled. Byeongkwan was clearly rendered speechless and they heard someone clear his throat beside him. They were also on speaker.

“I knew there had to be a catch.” It was Kim Sehyoon and he sounded like he was smiling “There was no way you’d just walked up to each other and said ‘hi, I know you’. That makes sense.”

“Hyung, how does it make sense?!” Byeongkwan asked, exasperated “How the hell does it make sense!? So, you were, like… I need a moment.”

Donghun and Junhee laughed and Sehyoon actually joined them

“Hi, Kim Sehyoon ssi.” Donghun greeted “I don’t think I greeted you.”

“Hi Lee Donghun ssi.” Sehyoon greeted “I love your covers.”

“I’m also a fan of yours, of you two, you guys make a great team.” Donghun said with a smile “Your rap is amazing.”

“Thank you.”

“Okay, I’m recovered from that nonsense” Byeongkwan said and made them all laugh “and okay, hyungie is right, it makes sense in a nonsense way, but still, I guess I can see it.”

“Well, I couldn’t.” Junhee grinned and Donghun groaned. Byeongkwan groaned too and Sehyoon snorted.

“Lee Donghun ssi also thinks your jokes are awful, hyung, I see that he’s a man of taste” Byeongkwan said playfully.

“Hey” Donghun said with a chuckle “just hyung is fine.”

“Oh, great, that makes it a lot better, Donghun hyung.” Byeongkwan said with a smile in his voice “Sehyoonie hyung is your age so.”

“Sehyoon ah.” Donghun said.

“Donghun ah.” Sehyoon said back with a chuckle.

“You guys are on lunch break?” Donghun asked and Junhee nodded “It’s cool that you get to eat together.”

“Yeah, well, we get the food and eat elsewhere sometimes” Byeongkwan confessed “since we’re not in the same squad. Or the same dorms.”

“Homophobia.” Junhee chuckled and they both fell silent “It’s okay, we’re having a rainbow party here.”

Donghun snorted. He was outed, yeah, but it didn’t matter when he’d known Byeongkwan and Sehyoon had been dating for so long.

“Guess who’s gay.”

“Not Junhee hyung, he’s bi” Byeongkwan snorted at last “so I guess, you?”

“Bingo.” Donghun chuckled.

“Well, then I guess we’re really safe” Byeongkwan chuckled “no wonder Yuchannie was so cool about it.”

“Yuchannie is our token straight ally.” Junhee said with a grinned.

Everyone cackled at that one.

“He’s our sword and shield, really.” Donghun said “He’ll fight the hets with us.”

“Good to know we have a strong het ally among us” Byeongkwan cackled “and I think we gotta go, they’re signing the end of lunch break” he sighed “talk later.”

“Talk later, nice talking to you.” Donghun said with a smile “Good luck.”

“Talk later, good luck!” Junhee wished before Sehyoon said ‘thank you, bye’ as well and Byeongkwan hung up.

 

Donghun and Junhee ended up watching Wowkwan covers as they finished eating and complimenting them left and right before they finished eating and Junhee pocketed his phone and leaned back, downing the rest of his bubble tea.

“Thanks for the” he burped and chortled “sorry. Thanks for the meal. Hyung.”

Donghun burped too and they both laughed.

“No prob.” He said “How are you feeling? Let’s sit around for a bit longer?”

“Hm” Junhee scrunched his nose “yeah, just a bit. Then we can go.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know.”

“Window shopping?”

Junhee chortled and shrugged.

“Maybe.”

Donghun suddenly had a wack idea.

“You know, actually, you usually post on Tuesdays and Fridays, right?” Donghun asked and Junhee confirmed “Right, so, uh… what do you say we pop in Ikea and get a new coffee table for your flat?”

“The other one isn’t bad.” Junhee chuckled.

“It almost killed you” Donghun complained “and I hate it. Consider this a gift. I’ll get you a damn new table.”

“Hyung, no! I couldn’t take that!” Junhee exclaimed “And I’m sponsored by Ikea so I can get their stuff for free!”

“Well, then I’ll get you something else on my own.” Donghun huffed “No buts, I’ll get you something.”

“You don’t need to get me anything, hyung, please.” Junhee said “You already paid for lunch.”

“I don’t need to, but I want to and that’s that.” Donghun huffed “Let me do it, okay?”

Junhee looked at him and Donghun didn’t like not seeing his eyes but he didn’t ask him to get his shades off. He put his own on instead and pulled the dustmask back up. Junhee pulled his own up again too.

“Okay, hyung.” Junhee said “But don’t, don’t waste too much money.”

“No promises.” He said and Junhee sighed.

“You’re stubborn.”

“Says the King of Stubbornland.” Donghun scoffed and Junhee chuckled.

“Alright, fine.”

* * *

 

 

That shopping centre had an Ikea, so they popped in there and after picking the safest looking coffee table and getting a red fleece throw too. They used Junhee’s sponsor privileges to get it all free.

Then Donghun stopped by a nerdy store that had called his attention and he told Junhee to sit down and wait for him. The employees had taken the unassembled coffee table they’d just gotten along with something they’d also been given, some sort of new line of shelf that they wanted to advertise, to Junhee’s car, which was great help. Junhee didn’t need the shelf but he’d put it beside the useless corner shelf and could make a joke about it turning out well, if it did.

Donghun came back fiteen minutes later with a big bag that was stapled close.

“What’s that?”

“Your gift.” Donghun grinned “You can only open it at home though.”

“Damn, now I’m curious!” Junhee said as he carried the fleece throw.

“You’ll see it at home.” Donghun said with a grin as they walked back to the elevator to go home.

“Oh right” Donghun clicked his tongue when they were already in car “we can drop by my place, right?”

“Yeah, of course, hyung.”

Donghun sighed and nodded.

Junhee would see the hole he lived in.

Like, it wasn’t dirty or overly smelly because Donghun cleaned up and lit up some cheap incense every now and then. It was just… dingy and reeked of bachelor pad aesthetics with a dash of a future telling office (because of the ever-present smell of incense). He had a single worn lovers’ couch, no armchairs, an old ass TV a tiny bathroom and a kitchenette aside from the bedroom which was also tiny.

“The elevator doesn’t work” he told Junhee when they entered the poorly lit lobby “I live on the third floor so it’s not, it’s not really a big climb but we can” he gestured “go slowly, since you’re still recovering.”

“Okay.” Junhee didn’t seem bothered about having to climb stairs “I need some exercise anyway, since I’ve been doing nothing for these past couple days. Let’s go slowly for real though, I don’t want to like, drop and give you more trouble.” He chuckled.

Donghun stared at him

“That’s what you’re worried about, jerkpot. Walk in front of me, please.” He demanded directing him to the stairs.

“I don’t want to-“

“Walk on.” Donghun interrupted and Junhee chuckled and started climbing the stairs slowly. They were up there soon enough and Junhee wasn’t out of breath, but he looked a bit wobbly “You alright?”

“Yeah, just a little wobbly I guess, from the turns” he chuckled “I’m not used to stairs anymore."

Donghun snorted and walked over to his door after fishing out the keys from his pocket. Junhee took off his shades when they got in because it was dark and Donghun didn’t bother opening the windows. It didn’t smell. It was just the smell of burnt incense and poverty. Donghun took a mental note to get the spoiled food out of the fridge before they left anyway, since he’d be crashing over at Junhee’s for a while, if it wasn’t spoiled, it’d be.

“You don’t have to lie” Donghun said with a sigh as he walked to the bedroom to get his clothes “it’s a piece of shit, I know.”

Junhee followed him into the bedroom.

“What?”

“What _what_?” Junhee grinned, not responding to his dissing of his own tiny flat “I want to see your bedroom. This is where you record your singing covers. You just pull the couch of the way to dance, right?”

Donghun was a bit taken aback by that but then he remembered what he shouldn’t forget: Junhee had been his fan for two whole years.

“Oh…” He mumbled a bit embarrassed “yeah, uh, yeah, I” he opened his wardrobe and showed Junhee his equipment and saw his eyes sparkle. Damn. “It’s kind of rubbish but…”

“With your talent” Junhee started and looked at him with a flooring happy smile “you could use a 1.99 microphone and it’d still sound amazing.”

“Shut up” Donghun chuckled as he grabbed a duffel bag and started stuffing his clothes in it so that he didn’t have to reply. Then he left the bedroom in silence and put the bag near the door before walking to the kitchenette to get the food from the fridge “uh, some of it has gone bad, but some is still good, I can take it over to yours. Wasting food is shitty.”

“I know” Junhee agreed “bring it over, hyung. That’s a great idea.”

“Yeah” Donghun nodded and grabbed a plastic shopping bag from a drawer where he kept the shopping bags and stuffed everything that could still be eaten in it before getting another bag for the spoiled food, to bin outside “okay, I reckon we’re all set here. Unless you enjoy this shithole.”

“Can we take a selca?” Junhee grinned and Donghun groaned.

“What, with the couch?”

“Yeah! Why not?” Junhee said already getting his phone ready and Donghun pursed his lips and looked at the camera as Junhee grinned and threw a piece sign “Perfect. Our first selca together. I think I want it framed.” He chortled looking at it and Donghun winced.

“So that you can remember my ugly mug and my shitty flat.”

“Hyung, it’s not a bad flat and it…” he sniffed the air “I like the smell, somehow. Is it sandalwood?”

“Uh, sharp nose” Donghun snorted “it actually is. Cheap ass sandalwood incense sticks. I guess they weren’t that bad after all.” He grabbed the duffel bag and the bags of food “Let’s go, it’s cold in here.”

“Okay, hyung.” Junhee chuckled “I might get some incense sticks too, I don’t know how I never thought of them.”

“Your flat smells like wealth” Donghun snorted “you don’t need the smell of burnt wood in it.”

Junhee cackled as they went down the stairs, Donghun on the front that time.

“What does wealth smell like?”

“Like your flat.” Donghun sassed and Junhee kept on laughing as they walked back to the car after banging the door to the building shut.

* * *

 

 

“Are you sure you don’t mind being in my video, hyung?” Junhee asked after they brought the new furniture into his flat and got rid of their shades and coats and all that stuff.

“Well, if you don’t mind me being in it.”

“I want you in it.” Junhee said “But you’ll be associated with me and… uh, people may talk.”

“Let them.” He grunted “My mum won’t feel upset if I’m helping a friend assemble his furniture.”

“You said you’d assemble it yourself.” Junhee chuckled.

“Yeah, I will” Donghun said “and you’ll tell the truth and, and say you were ill and then like, uh, we can announce a collab coming soon on my channel or something like that. Then, if you feel comfortable, you can start posting your musical stuff.”

 

Junhee fell silent before licking his lips and nodding.

 

“Okay, but can I open the gift now?”

 

“You really are a child, I can’t.” Donghun cackled “No, you’ll open it on cam. It’ll be good, I’m sure, I’m sure people will find it funny, in case I assemble this without any problems.” He already knew he would, he was good at assembling things.

 

“Alright” Junhee sighed and chuckled “I’ll go get the lights on and the camera.”

 

“Put your shades back on.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” Junhee was already getting them.

 

So Junhee put the shades back on and turned on the lights before turning on the camera and checking if it was recording.

“Okay, it’s rolling.” He said and walked over to Donghun who was sitting on the floor with a pair of scissors to unbox the furniture and sat on the couch.

 

“Hello, there lovelies!” Junhee greeted with a smile, looking at the camera “I have company today and some of you may know him as Lee Donghun, the singer. I’m actually a big fan of his music!”

“Come on, Junhee ya” Donghun snorted “you’re not starting it like that.”

“I am” Junhee chuckled “it’s going to be a truthful video, so let’s make it all truthful.” He said and that was a compelling enough argument to make Donghun shut up “So, I had an accident the other day, nothing too big, but it made me lose my eyesight and now you” he paused “okay, maybe a jumpcut here.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“You know why I had my eyes covered the other day, I’d gotten hurt the day before but I” he paused “maybe a jumpcut here?”

 

“Nah.”

 

Junhee chuckled.

 

“Well, no then. So, I didn’t want to worry you and Donghun hyung suggested I made a video anyway… he was the mystery hyung by the way.” He chuckled “Which reminds me that I haven’t watched the messy video we filmed.”

 

Donghun felt his damn cheeks flare up remembering all the cheesy effects he’d added.

 

“Spoiler alert” he said with a sigh “I may have added a bunch of silly effects when you, well, he’s cute, isn’t he? Objectively speaking. This is a cute man.” Donghun said seriously looking at the camera but Junhee blushed and giggled “See, my point exactly.”

 

“Okay, I want to see it later!” Junhee said after catching his breath “So, Donghun hyung offered to assemble my new Ikea coffee table and also my new Ikea shelf, since the one I tried to make isn’t useful. I’m pretty sure this time will be good.” He grinned.

 

“Well, let’s hope so. I’ve never done DIY videos in my life” Donghun snorted as he cut the straps on the coffee table box and opened it “I have no clue what people usually say because I, well, when I watch that kind of video people don’t usually talk, they just show.”

 

“This is the Listerby ash and beech wood, lacquered table with round corners and a seethrough shelf underneath, sturdy built and designed by a gentleman called uh, wait” Junhee helped and Donghun chuckled as he pulled out all the parts and grabbed the bags with the nails and stuff as he looked up the details on his phone “Mr Henrik Preutz from Sweden…” he was sure he was pronouncing the name wrong but didn’t bother “do we need a hammer?”

“No, it comes with one of these. But we need screwdrivers” Donghun said showing the small torque tool and Junhee got off the couch to go get his tool shed that he placed beside the couch before pulling out the screwdrivers “there, hyung”

“Cheers.” He said and he silently looked at the instructions while taking a look at the parts to make sure everything was there. It was. “Okay, I’m good to go. You can keep talking, I can work while you talk.” Donghun said and he said it so seriously that it sounded funny.

“Well, it’s great to have a minion working for me!” Junhee grinned and Donghun couldn’t help the fit of laughter he had. McDonald’s Minion.

“No.”

“Yes.” Junhee grinned “I think I’ll put it here as decoration.”

Donghun paused and then snorted a little.

“Dork.” Donghun chuckled softly and shook his head as he started diligently following the instructions after setting the top on the fluffy navy-blue rug Junhee had there. He assembled the bottom shelf carefully before assembling the legs and joining the shelf to the legs and finally tightly connecting the bottom with the top and screwing in the little nails it had and flipping the perfectly assembled table around and sitting on it. All the while, Junhee had been looking up facts about the type of wood the table was made of and the designer and cracking jokes about how he should hire Donghun to be his full-time helper because he didn’t need anyone’s help and had gotten that ready in less than 20 minutes.

“Sturdy and ready” he said with a smile “I hope Ikea is happy with us!”

“They better be” Donghun said with a chuckle “I think this is a solid table and we’re going to do something to decorate it.” He said getting up and pulling up the ikea bag with the fleece throw that threw over the table “Perfect.”

“Oh no, is that why you wanted that, hyung?”

“Yeah?” Donghun scoffed and looked from the camera to him “You messed up your eyesight because of that marble table. Which is good, don’t get me wrong” he said with a snort “but not when you’re our boy Jun and are prone to accidents.”

Junhee looked up at him with pursed lips clearly holding back laughter.

“Well, I guess you’re right.”

“Yes, I know. That’s why I specifically wanted a fully timber table with round corners. The other one is going upstairs in the office and you’ll put the printer on it.”

Junhee cackled.

“Okay, hyung.” He paused “cut here” he said and Donghun chuckled and nodded “and that’s it for this part of this collaboration! It went well! Definitely went well this time! So, everyone say thank you, Lee Donghun ssi for showing us that it’s possible to do things without messing up!”

 

“I just followed the instructions.” Donghun complained.

 

“Instructions following king!” Junhee clapped and Donghun laughed a bit “The next part, we’ll be assembling a shelf. Or Donghun hyung will, I’ll just be sitting here and trying not to get in the way.”

 

“Ah” Donghun sighed “you don’t get in the way” he muttered clicking his tongue and then looking at the camera “stick around for the next video, because there’ll be a couple surprises in it.”

 

“I know what one of them is” Junhee said looking at Donghun “but not what the other is, so I’m also curious! See you soon!” He sent his flying kiss “Hyung, you gotta do it too.”

 

Donghun, being a chaotic crackhead gay, sent Junhee a flying kiss instead of the camera.

 

“At the, at the viewers, hyung” Junhee hid his face on his knees and Donghun pursed his lips and looked at the camera before sending it a flying kiss too.

 

“Oh, sorry.”

 

“Hyung, oh God.” Junhee said “Will that be left in!?”

 

“Well, I’ll be real with you” he said as he got the cardboard and all the rubbish into the bag it’d come in “if you watch the previous video, you’ll realise that you can leave it in. That was full chaotic gay content.”

 

“Oh God…” Junhee stood up with his cheeks completely red and pulled up the video on his laptop and Donghun went over to save the recording they’d just made and start the camera again.

 

Junhee’s face got redder and redder as he kept watching the videos.

 

“I, I didn’t have these effects!” He said.

 

“I bought them.”

 

“You b- hyung! Why!?”

 

“See the comments.” He said “People loved it.”

 

“Now they ship us…” Junhee said looking mortified “hyung, your mum watches your videos!”

 

“It’ll be alright, she knows I like to play and” he sighed “maybe I should think about coming out sometime soon anyway, so. Even if we’re just buddies, maybe this’ll be a, well, a chance to do that. In case she asks.”

 

Junhee looked at him in silence.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“No.” Donghun snorted, getting the shelf out of the huge IKEA bag it’d come in and leaving the bag in front of the camera “Are we ready for the second part?” He asked and Junhee was still looking at him with an unreadable look because he had his shades on. His hands were shaking though as he put his laptop aside and breathed in heavily before smiling again.

 

“Yeah, let’s do this!” He exclaimed “Hello again, lovelies, I hope you’re doing great and I just watched the video this silly hyung edited” he said “and I’ll be getting my revenge because I’ll edit this time!”

“Yah, I’m not a flower boy like you.”

“You will be!” Junhee said and Donghun realised he was doing that to protect him “I’ll add baby noises everytime you smile, too!” He said and Donghun chuckled “Bam, there!”

“Oh come on.” Donghun scoffed “I’m assembling your furniture, and this is how you treat me!?” He said dramatically.

“Everyone likes cute hyungs!” He dismissed and Donghun shook his head “Anyway, now we’re assembling IKEA’s newest shelf! And it’ll be nice to have an actual well-made and usable shelf, since the one I made is good for nothing aside from decoration!” He chuckled as Donghun once again sat on the floor with the scissors and started unboxing the shelf before pulling everything out and looking at the instructions to check if everything was there. Once again, Junhee talked about the materials and the designer and all that trivia along with some silly on brand anecdotes and before not too long at all, Donghun had assembled his shelf perfectly and carried it to the corner, where he placed it after pushing the devil’s coffee table aside.

 

“I can put all my stuff there now!” Junhee said getting up to appreciate the masterpiece “Wow, Donghun hyung is the best!”

 

“IKEA should hire me” Donghun snorted shaking the shelf, which just didn’t shake “this stuff is built to resist and I’m not saying this because you’re sponsored by them” he scoffed “if it was crap, I’d say it.”

 

Junhee looked at the camera and pulled his shades up a little to show his serious eyes.

 

“This hyung is honest.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Anyway, what about the surprises?” Junhee asked after they’d both sat on the couch, Donghun almost forgetting they were recording for a moment, from how tired he was.

 

“Ah” he smiled and opened his eyes grabbing the bag he’d left beside the couch “here. It’s your Get Well Soon gift. Hope you enjoy it.”

 

“This is the surprise I actually know nothing about” Junhee said as he ripped off the paper bag to reveal a huge,

 

“It’s a Pokemon!”

 

“Yeah, it looks like you.” Donghun grinned and Junhee hugged the stuffed toy.

 

“Forgive me, Pokemon fans, but I don’t remember what it’s called. Is it Charmander?”

 

Donghun facepalmed.

 

“Dude, no” he said “you’re an idiot. It’s Bulbasaur. Charmander is the fire one. This one has the same smile as you.”

 

“What?” Junhee smiled and Donghun pulled the toy up to show that indeed their smiles were similar “No way!”

 

“Yes way” Donghun grinned cheekily “and you missed something” he chuckled “there’s something else in the bag.”

 

“Oh.” Junhee said and looked in the ripped bag again before bursting out laughing and pulling a mighty and obnoxiously yellow, Minion keychain “I can’t believe it!”

 

“That’s me.” Then he remembered they were filming that and looked at the camera, realising they’d been neglecting it completely “I got him his fictional persona and mine, so that he could remember me, in case he decides to hit his head again.”

 

“Yah, hyung. What’s that slander!?” Junhee chuckled and then he hugged Donghun who felt a little attacked but returned the hug “Thank you, I’ll make sure to get, to get well soon!”

 

He got away from him breathing heavily and then smiled.

 

“And the other surprise is that, well, I’ll be collaborating with Donghun hyung on a video for his channel. So, look forward to that! And that was all, I hope you’re all doing amazing and once again, this was a huge success and I got a big Bubbasan!”

 

“Bulbasaur.” Donghun corrected with a snort.

 

“Bulbasaur, sorry. I’ll be destroyed by the Pokemon fans.” Junhee said dramatically and Donghun cackled “Bye. See you next time!” He said and sent his flying kiss. Donghun sent his own the right way that time and the filming was done. The hard bit was about to start.

 

“Okay, what if we split work?” Donghun suggested “You can edit the second one and I’ll edit the first one, makes sense, right?”

 

“Yeah. And I’ll make good on my promise to add silly effects for you too.” He chuckled “You can, like double check, but you can’t remove the effects.” He said “Just to see if I didn’t miss anything.”

 

“Alright, nerd.” Donghun sighed and they sat on the couch each with one of Junhee’s laptops editing the footage.

 

They sat there for over three hours editing that stuff and after they took at look at each other’s work and adjusted stuff here and there they hit the render button and put the laptops aside to let it render.

 

“Tea? Coffee?”

“Hyung, I can help!” Junhee said when he Donghun stand up.

“Oh” Donghun snorted mid yawn “it’s the habit. I can go make it myself anyway, since I’ll be a freeloader for a while.”

“You’re my guest, not a freeloader!” Junhee complained and stood up as well “And I owe you my life. So, I’ll make you something this time.”

“Okay, I’m going with you anyway.” Donghun said “To make sure you don’t burn your hands or something.” He teased and Junhee jutted out his lower lip. He’d gotten rid of the shades and replaced them with reading glasses which he still had on and looked kind of nerdy but also kind of cute.

“Okay, fine.”

Donghun chuckled and off they went.

 

* * *

 

They had fun in the kitchen, actually.

Donghun made toast as Junhee boiled the water for the coffee and got the mugs ready. Donghun started humming a song he vaguely remembered about coffee and Junhee grinned because he knew it too but neither of them knew the lyrics, so they made up some silly ones and had a blast.

“We should make a parody” Donghun was still cackling when they sat on the couch and put the tray with the food on the brand-new coffee table.

“Do you remember the lyrics we made up?” Junhee cackled and Donghun fumbled for his phone and opened the notes app where he started typing furiously. Junhee was laughed a lot but he helped him where he’d forgotten and consequently made up more crackhead lyrics for the song.

Then they finished eating and the videos finished rendering. They uploaded both one after the other, because why not, and decided to call it a day and sit about for a bit just talking casually about life as Junhee held the Bulbasaur toy and occasionally made Donghun chuckle because of it.

“What’s his name?” Donghun finally asked.

“Bubbasan.” Junhee grinned “I know it’s Bulbasaur now, but he should get an exclusive name.”

“Even if it just sounds like you’re calling him Mr Bubba in Japanese.” Donghun chortled heartily “You damn dork.”

“It’s Mr Bubba then.” Junhee cackled and grabbed the Minion keychain “And this is Mr DongDong.”

Donghun looked at him and then chuckled a little.

“That was what they called me when I was a kid, actually.”

“Really?” Junhee asked with a surprised grin “Perfect then!”

Donghun sighed and shook his head. He’d really picked the right gift. Junhee’s joy at the toy whose name he didn’t even know was worth every single won he’d spent on it.

He was so, so gone and if his reason didn’t know better, he’d say that Junhee was with him, wherever they both were.

Maybe he was finally getting some of Yuchan’s positive energy because he actually felt a small flame of hope light up somewhere.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u think that that's a real ikea coffee table, you are: correct. look it up. i won't take away the great joy that is typing the name of ikea furniture on the search bar away from you!


	18. It was more than better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad comes together and starts making big bucks. Two years pass. Junhee and Donghun win a Dream Spa Weekned package thing from a television show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello once again, choice, my dears
> 
> this is really the last chapter, i can't believe fghkjdf i really hope you dig this and can keep up with how messy it is. i abused the breaks and spacing to try and make it more reader-friendly. this is really a big messy blob and in my mind it's like a memory reel until the spa bit, where it stops and starts running at normal speed. idk, it's experimental. i wanted to try sth like this for the ending so uh, pls tell me things?? it's late in here so i won't be able to reply to comments right away. if ur a regular and stuck around to the ending, thank you and i hope it was worth it /sweats/ if u commented, i will reply and if you comment on this one for the first time since the beginning i'll reply too. AND if you don't comment at all for this reason or the other, thank you anyway for reading. you're valid and appreciated! thank you all, so, so much for all your support, kudos and motivation because without that i don't think i'd be able to finish this because i'd never finished an unfinished fic i'd started posting. welp. so bear with me and my mistakes. /dabs in stress
> 
> i really hope u dig this mess and that the ending is satisfying?? heck, im really not sure abt it but well, it's here, it's what i envisioned and yeah, that's all.
> 
> thank you all so much for everything. bless you. even if you're reading this a long time after it was posted, i'm thanking u for reading it in advance lmao sorry im like this. 
> 
> bye, fam! see you around! <3 <3 <3

* * *

 

Good outcomes aren’t overrated, really. After all they’d gone through in previous years, finally having something that actually gave them hope and made them move forward with confidence wasn’t undeserved at all.

That fourth day of partnership was ended with dinner, which they both worked on, and then Donghun had a shower and went to bed with Junhee, again. That time it was actually a lot less awkward.

Or not even awkward at all, really.

 Junhee smiled at him and he smiled back and then they cuddled.

That was all.

 

* * *

 

Then time went by and the two weeks went flying. Donghun went back to work after the week Yuchan had gotten for him was over and pleaded to Junhee to get food before his meds kicked in and just lie down until he returned. If he fell asleep on the couch, he’d help up go upstairs. He shouldn’t try to do anything wack while under the effect of those meds. Junhee promised he’d be careful and he was.

The manager was happy to see Donghun, free of scars (of course) and praised him for being resilient and not scratching them, saying he was looking healthy. Donghun looked at Yuchan and almost laughed but managed to keep his cool and thank her.

 

* * *

 

Time just kept on going and after the two weeks were over, Donghun returned to his dingy bachelor pad trying not to sound too sad about it.

 

(Obviously not because it was dingy. He wasn’t a shallow asshole. The reason was something else entirely and everyone and their dogs knows what it was.)

 

Junhee didn’t try to stop him but he gave him a big tight hug and told him to pop by often and promised that they’d be going out more, whenever Donghun had free time. _Whenever_ , really. He could just drop by after work, if he wanted. _Any time, any day_. He’d just have to text him to check if he was around.

Donghun wanted that of course and he kept alternating between Yuchan’s bed and Junhee’s.

Like a damn hoe, okay, but not really, one was for healing his racing feelings and the other was to rekindle them over and over.

He sometimes said to Yuchan that maybe it was just a crush and Yuchan just laughed at him and he was forced to acknowledge that he was right. The feelings went nowhere and only kept growing and growing and growing the more he hung out with Junhee, the more they got to know each other. The roots of the small, coy seed, kept growing deeper and stronger until it was impossible to pull them out and Donghun started panicking even more.

“Hyung, it’s mutual, trust me.” Yuchan told him one night when they were cuddling.

“How do you know?”

“You’re too caught up in your mind to realise that.” Yuchan said for the umpteenth time “I’ve gone out with you two loads of times, you know? I’m not an idiot.”

Donghun groaned a little.

“But what if it’s just…”

“It’s not _just_ , hyung.” Yuchan sighed “You can take it slow, let it roll for as long as you want, but you can take my word on this” he smiled “it’s mutual and it won’t go anywhere.”

Donghun muttered incoherently and didn’t reply. He wanted to believe but he also had a hard time doing so. Would he be so lucky to have the crush (ah, it’d passed the crush phase a long time ago, really) of a lifetime actually return his feelings?

“I’ll cover that Carly Rae song if he does.” Donghun snorted, remembering the joke from months ago and Yuchan chortled.

“You never fooled me” he teased “I knew you were a fan.”

Donghun chuckled mirthlessly. He was in one of the negative moods. Yuchan held him tightly, reassuringly.

“No jokes now, hyung” he said softly “it’ll be alright, okay? The feelings didn’t go anywhere and I, well, I get that you’re scared now, you’ll feel hurt but” he chuckled a bit “now you’re friends for real, so it’ll be cool… sort of.”

“Sort of.” Donghun sighed “Let’s just sleep.”

 

* * *

 

Time, never stopping, kept rolling and rolling by and Donghun started to find it hard to imagine his life before he’d met Junhee and became friends with the man. They were then as close as he was with Yuchan, perhaps closer, he’d say, somehow. He felt like they were on the same wavelength, something that was hard to explain.

A practical example then, to try and make it clear: when Junhee, after making it big on Youtube with his music and his collaborations with, not only Donghun and Yuchan, but also Byeongkwan and Sehyoon when they were discharged, told Donghun one night about the idea he had about setting up their own name, like a business, a small company Donghun had been rendered speechless because he’d been thinking the same for weeks.

They’d moved in together a couple months back and Donghun had dropped his McDonald’s job. Yuchan had done the same right after, seeing that they were all making big money and sharing the profit whenever it was a collaboration (there was a funny story about that, actually).

They already had a pretty strong network going.

If they all went under the same name, maybe it’d be good for them, who knew? It was worth the shot.

Donghun agreed almost immediately and Junhee beamed so brightly his eyes disappeared.

“We have enough money saved up” Donghun said, reasoning with him and watching him nod as he parroted his arguments “even if it doesn’t work out, we’ll still be okay. Paying for trademarks isn’t that expensive and that’s pretty much all we have to do. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll just call the whole thing off and that’s that.”

“Oh hyungie, I’m so glad you agree!”

“I’d actually been thinking about suggesting that too” Donghun confessed with a small chuckle “and I was pretty sure you’d be into it, also sure that Channie will be in. You reckon Kwannie and Sehyoonie will be in too?”

“Well” Junhee scrunched his nose a little “I want them in but yeah, I’m not completely sure about it.”

“I mean” Donghun remembered with a snort “they literally flew off to Vegas and got married there.” Junhee was still not over that and had to sigh deeply. They’d _all_ flown to Vegas for the ceremony and it’d been a crazy ass, crackheads in love thing, honestly. They hadn’t come out to their parents at all and they were married, like, _legally married_ in the US, under the laws of the state of Nevada. They even wore matching white gold rings because (and Donghun had won the bet against Yuchan for once. His faith in Sehyoon’s romantic antics had been spot on) Sehyoon had flexed like a boss and asked Byeongkwan to marry him in Vegas, since anyone could get married there even without the citizenship. Then he’d gotten them bloody white gold wedding rings and they both wore them on their ring fingers like it was nothing and were still getting away with it after celebrating one year of marriage.

 

“Okay, so maybe they’ll be in for it.” Junhee chortled and sighed.

 

They were.

 

They didn’t even hesitate to join the newly formed company. Since collectively they had a respectable fanbase already, they picked up steam right off the bat and were a hit both in Korea and also internationally. Nobody had ever heard of a K-group formed by a bunch of youtubers, one of whom still made bad DIY/Lifestyle videos, but since Donghun was there to supervise and help, the new lesson of his videos was that everything goes well, if you don’t do it alone.

They were also perhaps one of the first groups to fill up venues in a couple hours in faraway countries and were definitely the first to announce a world tour two months after their collaboration as a five-member team was announced under their own brand. Youtube was very happy to be a part of it, since they were now making big money and since they weren’t petty (and _couldn’t_ be petty), they let them be Generous in their capitalist money-thirtsty ways, because that’s the game and you gotta play it. They needed all the money they could get, and you don’t just say no to a billionaire sponsor.

* * *

 

 

And at last, almost two years passed since that fateful night Junhee hit his head and lost his eyesight, randomly finding Donghun and almost a year had passed since they’d all become a very unorthodox k-group. Junhee and Donghun were living together, as friends, naturally. Yuchan had a _casual_ girlfriend and a new flat after finishing his degree and making his family happy, even though he was now a full-time musician and entertainer. Byeongkwan and Sehyoon were happily married and living together in their own flat after getting a dog.

It was as friends, too, that Donghun and Junhee randomly won a television contest which they thought was a prize money but was actually a spa weekend. They were too drunk to think too much of it, since they’d called the number during a fit of drunk laughter. Only when the package came in the mail did they realise that they’d gotten themselves in a Dream Spa Weekend. It looked a lot like a thing couples did but there was nothing there that suggested it. They just saw it that way because, well.

 

_Reasons._

 

“Well” Junhee snorted looked at the tickets and the things the spa offered “I guess we can’t, we can’t bin this, can we?”

“Hell no! Are you mad!?” Donghun snorted “Like, okay, two blokes together will probably draw attention but fuck it, honestly.” He said “I’m going with you, so whatever. Let’s get this Dream Spa Weekend, baby.”

Junhee cackled and they high-fived.

“Let’s get it!” Junhee exclaimed “When is it?”

“Doesn’t say” Donghun noticed after reading all the instructions “so we can go anytime.”

“Okay so, uh” he grabbed his phone and checked their schedule “three weeks from now.” He chuckled, looking at him “That’s when we have a whole weekend free, since we have a bunch of stages starting in two days.”

“Can’t wait to assemble furniture almost every day for three weeks.” Donghun chortled and Junhee grinned.

 

 

* * *

 

That was their concept. Since they were self-managed (mostly Yuchan-managed, really, he was the whiz kid), they could put up the shows they wanted and knew the people wanted. Their shows were all two hours long and they always involved a lot of music and instruments of course, but at the end there were some stand up comedy moments, provided by Yuchan and Byeongkwan mostly, since they were the youngest and thus cuter and funnier, while Donghun and Sehyoon (who sometimes joined the Comedians) assembled a random piece of IKEA furniture with Junhee, who was filming it to put on the new channel they’d created for their stage shows’ content. IKEA was thrilled to sponsor them now because if it was profitable to sponsor Junhee alone, it was even more so to have them include it in a music show and have it be part of the show. They gave away the furniture to the winner in the end and personally take it over to their house.

 

(The wackiest and most approachable idols in the world? Yes. The proudly wore the title.)

 

“You better be thrilled to have this!” Donghun would yell into the microphone grinning as the winner hopped on stage, sometimes crying and they all signed the furniture for them “and think about these deft hands whenever you look at it. See, why am I not part of the stand-up bit?” He’d say when the audience smiled and clapped for him “I’m hilarious!”

“It’s because hyungie is the best at assembling DIY with his beautiful deft fingles!” Junhee exclaimed and the winner would laugh. It was usually hard to hear him over the ruckus but the people on the front rows started laughing and made everyone else laugh because crowds worked like that.

(Of course the furniture was something that could be easily carried about and not a goddamn bed or something massive like that.)

* * *

 

 

 

“Well, in three weeks then. I’m looking forward to have someone walk all over my spine.” Donghun snorted and Junhee cackled.

“That’s optional, silly hyung. We don’t need to do that.”

“Thank God.” Donghun scoffed “I have no fucking idea who thought it was a good idea to massage someone’s spine with their damn feet.”

Junhee had a fit of laughter.

“Want me to try it on you, hyung? To practice?”

“I always knew you secretly wanted to kill me.” Donghun said dramatically “The betrayal is real.”

Junhee kissed his cheek softly and made him chuckle.

“No way, hyungie.” He said and Donghun scrunched his nose at him and smiled.

 

* * *

 

Yeah, they’d been at that stage for a while.

It’d started casually, really.

They were a couple months into their friendship, still not living together, Donghun was still with McDonald’s, slaving his soul away and one night he’d come over to _Junhee’s Crib_ (also a funny tale) dead tired and feeling like utter shit.

He was stressed and exhausted because of the psychological abuse he’d suffered at the hands of one of the dining area workers because he couldn’t collect the trays fast enough and get rid of the bins at the same time. He’d been placed there that day because one of the dining area girls had called in sick. Really, he was fast, but he was usually not there, so he wasn’t too familiar with the violence of the dining area. He was doing a pretty good job, according to the other worker in the dining area who noticed how upset he was and told him to ignore the other worker because that was normal, just ignore, _ignore_.

It _wasn’t_ , Junhee had angrily said, _it wasn’t okay._ He was only human! How was he expected to collect and clean all the trays and take out the bins at the same time!? Donghun had actually started crying. It was everything. The piling up stress from the sudden success of Youtube and having to work awful schedules with awful people at his other job. He’d wanted to yell into oblivion but found that he didn’t need it, because Junhee was there.

Junhee hadn’t asked for permission to hug him and kiss his tear-drenched cheek, as he started crying as well. Donghun held him tightly and after he’d calmed down for real and stopped crying, he thanked him. That had strengthened their bond like nothing else. Donghun had never cried like that, so vulnerably, in front of Yuchan out of frustration because Yuchan’s approach was always on the positive side and avoiding tears by telling everyone and everything they loved to fuck off and showing him memes and funny things to make him laugh and chuck the stress away, which was a reasonable approach, honestly, because why get upset about people who didn’t deserve it? Donghun understood that and appreciated it too but Junhee, always calm and collected Junhee, a man of immense patience and love to spread, had gotten angry for him, cussed and swore out loud calling the person a piece of shit and telling Donghun he didn’t deserve that treatment and didn’t have to put up with it. Donghun found that overwhelmingly good for his mind and the tears he shed were anger and they made him feel like a whole century of pent up frustration had just just vanished. Junhee convinced him to send his resignation letter the following day and add the unhealthy work environment as one of the reasons he was going and actually name the assholes he hated the most. Junhee actually helped him redact the letter and wouldn’t budge until he actually named them.

 

Yuchan, following Donghun’s example had quit soon after but his reasons were summed up to ‘So, I’m quitting the burger life, I’m making big bucks elsewhere now. Reread Lee Donghun ssi’s resignation letter for further reasons. I subscribe to everything he said and add that Im Sungbin ssi is also a piece of shit and spits on the patties while frying them. Thank you. Bye.’ Donghun and Junhee had read his letter and had a blast with it because he didn’t even type it; he handwrote it on a piece of printer paper he had lying around (which had the lyrics to It G Ma on the back, _because yes_ ) and turned it in like that. He’d asked a co-worker to film him moonwalk out of the manager’s office after officially quitting and doing the Michael Jackson signature pose afterwards. Then he edited the video, so that nobody would be able to tell what the company was and added the Thug Lyf effect to it. Everyone had loved it and the video had become an iconic quitting meme because you could see the manager chuckling in the back, even though her face was censored.

 

(Needless to say that that that was a good manager and thanks to her, there had been a lot of firings because after further queries and observation, Dongchan’s claims about their shitty co-workers had proven to be 100% true.)

 

And since we’re talking about the funny tales, they’d started calling Junhee’s flat ‘Junhee’s Crib’ jokingly at first but that was now officially a thing in their fandom even though they both lived there. Of course, they were both paying for the rent and since they were now making Big Money, that was a fancy place they could afford blindfolded and asleep. None of their fans knew with whom they lived, though, for sad, yet obvious reasons. They always gathered at Junhee’s Crib but implied that it was just Junhee’s Crib, since he was the leader, and that everyone else had their own place. Some people had theories, but they were but theories and they were careful, so nobody had gotten hold of the _full_ truth yet.

It wasn’t 100% wrong, Yuchan always found it funny, and dragged his friends into the fun, because he had his own place and the other two pairs had their own places too, only shared with another member. Two of them were married with a fluffy big golden retriever called Ace, which did some cameos and was loved internationally as a very _ace_ boy but that wasn’t relevant information for their fans anyway.

* * *

 

 

“I’d die for you first, hyungie.” Junhee said to Donghun’s joke about him wanting him dead.

“Not if I died for you first, jerkpot.” Donghun complained “We promised, bitch. I’m one year older, I’ll die first.”

“One day before me” Junhee complained “like in Winnie the Pooh. We promised that!”

“Okay, okay. Fine. At least I get to go first.” Donghun said with a cheeky grin.

“I hope I’m senile by then.” Junhee cackled and Donghun slapped his arm softly and made him chuckled “That wasn’t part of the promise! It didn’t say I had to be one hundred years old and sane.”

 

(How they even remembered that promise when they were marathoning Winnie the Pooh one night while drunk off their asses a while back after a particularly tiring month, was still a mystery that also had to be studied by science.)

 

“I want the stones one, though.” Junhee pointed with a small smile changing the subject “It says it has benefits for stress relief.”

“Oh yeah” Donghun agreed “that one actually looks good.”

They kept on talking about dos and don’ts about the ‘Dream Spa’ activities and ended up agreeing on all the same things and being pleased with it.

* * *

 

 

 

It wasn’t surprising that all their best friends (and now business partners) loved the idea of them spending a wholesome weekened together at a Spa. Yuchan had been particularly joyful about it even more so than the legal husbands, who also found it Very Interesting, but didn’t make a fuss out of it like Yuchan, who was definitely fixed on getting Lee Donghun to spit it out at long last.

 

**My Baby Channie**

Hyung, it’s been two (2) years!

And you still feel the same!

You’re more than friends now gdi!

We’re all in business together

U two live together

U even sleep together every night!

3:21pm

Like you’re already married or sth

He feels the same and u damn well know it!

So I hope u use this spa weekend thing fate gave u

>:(

3:22pm

Okay, okay fine, I see ur points

Ur right

Im sorry

U had to put up with my doubts for two years

I know u probably want to punch me :’(

3:23pm

No! I want you to be happy and get that man!

Because you love each other!

And I feel happy just looking at how beautiful your feelings for each other are! >:(

3:23pm

Im still not sure if he feels the same

But I’ll follow genius yuchannie’s advice again

-3-

3:24pm

I thought we made our own fate tho haha

3:24pm

Yes, we do!

That’s what I mean!

I believe that not everything is at random

So u randomly got that spa thing from the telly show

3:24pm

That could have been fate

But if u go there and do nothing to tell him abt your feelings

Then it’ll be a lost opportunity! >:(

It’s youR CHOICE!

Fate has nothing to do with your choices!

It can give you the tools to make everything work

But if you don’t use them, then it’s as good as nothing!

>:(

3:25pm

Damn ur really a great life advisor wow

Write a book bby really

U should

So, talking, basically

I should talk to him lol the simple approach

3:25pm

YES!

It’s so simple people actually can’t understand it

If things are talked out, BAM, they’re solved!

WOW, what a concept! Reason, right? Wild!

3:25pm

Plus, ur more than good to go now

u didn’t rush anything, you’ve been friends for two years

We’ve all been friends for two years

Okay, three in our case lmao

3:26pm

And if I wanted to get in your pants I’d have no problems telling u

If it was just me, then nothing would happen

Because we’re friends and u love me anyway

3:27pm

If sth bad happened, then it would mean we weren’t really friends

Because love is love

With or without banging lmao

3:27pm

 

Donghun was waiting downstairs for Junhee to finish packing and texting Yuchan in the meanwhile. They’d pack lightly but Junhee could get fussy sometimes about what he should or shouldn’t take.

Really channie

Write a book

Ur just too good at advice

And I love you

3:28pm

I love you too, hyung <3

But no, I don’t wanna haha

Unless I add a section with life advice to the upcoming photobook

That would probably not be a bad idea

3:29pm

I think itd be great

Talk it out with cecille lol

3:29pm

Okay, gtg now

Junnie is ready

Talk later

Love u bby

3:30pm

Cecille will be consulted dw lmao

Okay! Have fun hyungie! Tell junhee hyung I said this!

I love you both <3

3:30pm

 

“I’m ready.” Junhee said “Sorry for the delay, I couldn’t find my swimming trunks.” Donghun chuckled “I’ll get some somewhere, I guess.”

“They probably sell them there or something” Donghun got up with his rucksack, flinging it over his shoulder “let’s go. Yuchannie wished us luck and said he loves us.”

“Aw, so cute!” Junhee grinned and grabbed his phone. Donghun watched him text Yuchan an ‘I love you too!! <3’ and smiled they left for the car after that.

* * *

 

 

 

See, that example with Yuchan was actually a good example because at one point, Donghun had started thinking if his feelings for Junhee weren’t just platonic, like what he felt for Yuchan and he’d talked it out with the man himself who’d had a blast.

“First, that would be tragic for you, because I’m straight.” Yuchan had said over coffee almost making Donghun choke and look around to see if people were looking but no, they were doing what they should: minding their own business “Second, you don’t want to get in my pants and never did, you’re just fretting and comparing stuff that can’t be compared. And third” he paused dramatically glaring at him “you know you don’t feel only platonic love for him, hyung, you’re trying to lie to yourself because you’re scared.” He pointed an accusatory finger at him and Donghun had huffed and banged his head on the table of the coffee shop.

“You’re right again, as always, ugh” he groaned “why are you always right?”

“Be glad I am.” Yuchan snorted “Imagine if you’d actually fallen for me. I mean, nothing would happen, because nothing would change between us, but it’d be kind of sad.”

“Well, I’ve had things for straight dudes before, so it wouldn’t shock me.” Donghun chuckled and sighed sipping on his coffee “The worst that could happen would be you punching me, and you wouldn’t do that."

“See?” Yuchan grinned “It’s because you know me that you can say that. We’re friends, hyung and I love you. Even if you had romantic feelings for me, we’d still be best friends and you know that. You could even cuddle me anyway” Yuchan added “unless you felt like you couldn’t do that, but you can, so” he shrugged.

Donghun looked out the window and smacked his lips.

“You’re too damn” he choked a bit on the coffee and wiped his mouth on his sleeve, because napkins are for nerds “sorry, too damn smart and know me too well.”

Yuchan laughed and then grinned impishly after winking at him.

“Well, hyung, I’m one of your best friends” he said as he finished his own coffee “so it’s not hard to know you well, plus” he wiped his mouth with his sleeve too because he too was too good for napkins “you’ve been sleeping with your crush for over a year now. Of course you don’t have problems with platonically cuddling your romantic crush.”

“God, you’re too good with words.” Donghun winced and Yuchan cackled “That was so clear, I’m gonna go and cry in the shower now or something because you just punched me in the brain.”

“You needed that.” Yuchan said and Donghun sighed. Yuchan really was incredibly smart and mature even though literally nobody else gave him credit for that outside of their group. He put up the crackhead, funny front for their fans so they thought that was him off-cam and sure, that was him, but that was just _a bit_ of him.

“What about Yebin ah?” Donghun asked as he finished his coffee, changing the subject to Yuchan who snorted.

“No more Yebin ah.” He said and Donghun snorted too “Yeah, I know, I look devastated. She called me an asshole because I just said ‘okay’ when she said she wanted to break up and called me insensitive. I hope the antis found her rants.” He sighed with a chuckle “They were funny to read.”

“How did you even read them?” Donghun chuckled too “And good she’s gone, now I can tell you that I didn’t like her a lot. She had this weird look in her eyes.”

Yuchan scoffed.

“It wasn’t just a thing in her eyes, I guess. And well, you know my fansite account where I post our pictures” he started folding his arms on the table, Donghun nodded with a chuckle “yeah, I follow my girlfriends with that account” he explained and Donghun widened his eyes and he nodded with a proud smile “clever, right? Yeah, so when they block me, I can still read their shit.” He said and chortled “They won’t suspect _Choi Cecille_ , the half-korean fansite with the _best exclusive content_.” He cackled and Donghun snorted but looked at him, seeing him avert his eyes “When we get famous enough, I’ll suggest selling photobooks, see how that goes. All money is needed.” He was trying to change the subject because he didn’t want to keep going on about that but Donghun didn’t let him because he knew he needed to let it all out. He even knew what the fuck was happening with him and his bad luck with girls.

“You’re not even a player, baby.” Donghun said and looked at him watching him shrug without looking at him “They’re making it sound like you are.”

“Almost nobody believes them anyway, you see, I don’t follow back with my main.” He snorted “I’m not stupid, I’ve been having girlfriends for a while and it’s always the same pattern. They unfollow me and go private.”

“When you did nothing wrong.” Donghun shook his head and huffed.

“Go figure” Yuchan scoffed and finally looked at him “I guess I just want to have someone to become my friend and have fun with, share interests and stuff, but they don’t seem to want that.” He gulped and he was quietly angry “They just, I don’t even know, they call me names when we break up but who’s the asshole, really? I sure don’t feel like an asshole.” He promised and Donghun chuckled at the face he made. He meant it. “I tell them right away that I’m a musician and that my music is before anything else and they’re all” he faked a stupid voice “ _’Oh, that’s fine! I love your music! I love music, I stan a-a-a-all these grousp!’_ and then” he snorted and shook his head “it’s a bunch of bullshit because so far none of them really cared about my music” he scoffed “they ask me to sing them songs and stuff, the cheesy stuff, you know that.”

“Yeah, I do.” Donghun backchanneled letting him rant.

“Yeah, but they don’t care about music in general, like they like all those groups and shit but really, they don’t give a shit about music, all they care about is looks” he said with a snort pointing at both their faces “they just want to show me off” he said and the smile he had was sad “I feel like I’m, like I’m just a prop they want to show off to their friends and have sex with.”

“Hey, hey” Donghun said and reached over to hold his shaking hand. Yuchan sniffled a little and shrugged letting him hold his hand, holding it back “you just have to find a musician girl. You keep getting the wrong girls.” He sighed “I’m sure there are plenty of non-music fans who are lovely girls and would treat you like you deserve but really” he smiled “you gotta go for the musicians. Just a music fan won’t do for people like us.”

Yuchan smiled a little, for real this time.

“Thank you, hyung.” He said “That’s, that’s really great advice.”

“I have to give some back every now and then even though I’m a dumb gay.” He joked and made Yuchan cackle.

“You’re a panicked, that’s different. You’re not dumb.” He said and Donghun made a pained face which made him laugh more “Well, you’re panicked, that’s your alignment.” He stated “And well” he sighed looked definitely a lot happier “I guess I’ll give up dating for the time being. I don’t want to feel like shit, so I won’t.” He declared “Whatever happens, happens. I don’t mind not dating indefinitely.”

Donghun sighed and went for it. It was a friends’ moment. You get and you give back.

“You’re, well, you’re not easy but you’re easygoing and easy to connect with” Donghun told him and he chuckled “yeah, and that makes it easy to befriend you and you may be smart, but you’ve got a big gentle heart so, it’s easy for shallow people to manipulate you into a relationship you probably don’t even want that much.”

Yuchan looked at him and smiled a bit and fell silent for quite a bit.

“I needed to hear that” he finally said softly “you know me too well, too, hyung. That’s, I guess that’s what happens.” He said and gulped falling silent, thinking “I’m _sure_ that’s what happens, wow, I’m an idiot, how did I not realise? I’m soft as fucking melted butter sometimes.”

“It’s easier to see it from the outside.” Donghun said, still holding his hand “Don’t beat yourself over it. You’re in the right here.” He assured him “Just get you a girl who plays the guitar.”

Yuchan chortled.

 

 

Well, sometime later, say a couple months later, he’d met one such girl and she’d been his _casual_ girlfriend for months.

She was also a musician and she wasn’t on youtube all that much. She used to busk near the centre and Yuchan would stop by to listen sometimes and drop a few tips after clapping. They’d randomly met in a music store sometime later while she was getting new amplifier and Yuchan was getting a new microphone because his was busted. They’d recognised each other from their previous meetings, and she was just like him. Easygoing and kind. They’d connected right away and on that very day exchanged numbers. Yuchan didn’t use the number until after a couple more in person meetings and eventually confessed that he was jealous of her guitar skills. She’d offered to teach him, if he wanted, and that’s how Mr Kang Yuchan, after a streak of bad relationships, found someone who was worthy of him. Donghun liked her for real, and  treated her like she was his daughter even though they were both super cautious with their labels. They were dating and it was exclusive, but there were no actual labels tying them to each other, they didn’t live together and, from what Yuchan had told his friends in one of their heart to hearts late at night in Junhee’s Crib, she’d also had lots of bad luck with boyfriends. They were all sold when Yuchan confided in them that she’d dropped the B bomb on him a couple days back.

“She’s bisexual!?” Byeongkwan gasped as Donghun looked on the verge of starting a round of applause after saying that he knew he felt that she was the one.

“She was super scared of my reaction” Yuchan said seeing his friends’ collective glee and grinning “but I was like ‘well, see, this is pretty good! We got lots in common” he started and Donghun and Junhee were already losing it and he hadn’t even reached the end of his anecdote, he started chortling too “yeah, I’m a musician, so are you. You like sweet things, so do I. You like the sun, I do too! You like girls, and so do I!’” He opened his eyes and grinned for extra impact and everyone burst out laughing “She laughed too, and she was, she was really happy… said that, like, her previous boyfriends dumped her soon after she said that. Then I assured her that it wouldn’t happen because I barely have straight friends, and I’m always the token straight friend with my best friends” he shook his head making his friends laugh harder “and she laughed until she was crying and then, like, well she hugged me very tight” he blushed a little and the laughter turned into a collective urge to hug him “and said that I was the best, the only straight boy in the world she could trust.” He rubbed the back of his neck “I mean, there are lots of good straight guys out there but, well, it felt nice…”

The urge to hug him became a thing they all did and he was suddenly pulled into a hug and found himself in a cuddle pile and laughed at all the love.

“She is correct!” Donghun said dramatically making their friends laugh “You’re our prized het angel and we’d kill ten bastards for you.”

“In cold blood!” Byeongkwan added “We’ll join our gay powers and beam them out of existence!”

“I’d rather use a baseball bat.” Sehyoon said and Byeongkwan shrieked with laughter.

“You think he’s joking” he said “but he actually has one in the, in our car!”

“It’s made of metal.” Sehyoon said with a grin.

“It’s always the quiet ones that are the deadliest.” Donghun cackled.

“You bet!” Byeongkwan confirmed “Oh, you didn’t see him road-raging the other day!”

They ended that heart to heart event with the tale of how Kim Sehyoon, that quiet soul, had crossed their car in front of a rude driver who’d flipped them off and almost made them crash and gotten out with the baseball bat without saying a word and started banging it on the road. Byeongkwan said he was just sitting in the car smiling at the scene, watching the rude driver coil in fear when Sehyoon gently knocked on his window with his fist and told him to roll down the window.

“Holy shit” Yuchan said grinning “what did you say, hyung!?”

“Oh” Sehyoon said, blushing a little “I just told I didn’t want to hurt him or break his car and, that, uh, that he shouldn’t flip strangers off because sometimes they can turn out to be kind of mad.”

“Solid advice if you ask me.” Donghun said “I’m proud, Sehyoon ah.”

“Thank you, Donghun ah” Sehyoon smiled a little, bashfully “I hope it doesn’t happen again, I don’t want to hurt anyone but…” he paused “if I have to, I will.” He declared and boy, was that scary. Byeongkwan seemed to love it though and they didn’t want to know anymore about that because it sounded like it was something that they should keep to themselves.

* * *

 

 

They finally reached the Spa, which was on top of a mountain.

It was really fancy, and they were trated like kings, certainly because the show that’d awarded them that prize had instructed them to do that. Since they were two blokes, the receptionist asked if they wanted two queens instead of a king-sized bed, but they’d gone for the king-sized and she’d actually said it was the best choice because the king-sized beds were really big and comfortable. After a little discussion, consulting with their mastermind Kang Yuchan, they’d decided to post about that place on their social media and advertise it for free after asking the Spa managers if they could do that, considering that they were popular influencers. They’d enthusiastically agreed to it and, if they’d been treated great right off the bat, they started pampering them like there was no tomorrow, making sure they were always comfortable and away from crowded places.

The lovely pair even filmed a bold yet very short clip of both of them together in the private Jacuzzi in their extremely fancy suite and Yuchan called them later calling them ‘MAD LADS’ and they’d had a blast because of it.

All this on the first day but they only had two days so they’d better make it count, yeah?

The food there was all healthy but all amazing and the massages?

“I feel like I’ve just gained 10 years of life.” Donghun said when they both collapsed in bed, still in their bathrobes wearing nothing but their underwear under them “I feel so lazy and my back feels, like, they’ve given me a new back.”

“A pic?” Junhee slurred “That’ll be the captcha, I feel like my soul has been massaged too, holy shit.” He mumbled and got his phone from his bathrobe’s pocket and snapped a selca of both of them in bed together “Well, maybe, uh, is it okay if they see that we’re sharing a bed?”

 

Donghun, the mad lad, bold and relaxed, and at long last sending every last bit of fear and panic to hell, rolled to the side to face him.

 

“I can kiss you on the lips, if that’s not hint enough.” He said quietly with a small smile and Junhee froze for a millisecond before looking at him and seeing the look in his eyes. Definitely meant it. His whole face got red and felt hot.

 

“Hyung…” he chuckled a little “are you…?”

 

“Wanting to kiss your lips?”

 

“Yes.” Junhee asked gulping and Donghun smiled cheekily.

 

“Depends” he said softly “do you want me to do that?”

 

The next thing Donghun knew was that Junhee had dropped his phone on the bed like it was piece of garbage and scuttled closer to him and smashed their mouths together like his life depended on it.

Donghun’s heart raced and he felt, _for real_ , that real happiness felt like that. Like Junhee’s lips on his, his warmth, his arms around him, his body pressed against his, his existence, their shared life. He enthusiastically kissed him back before slowly pushing Junhee onto his back to better kiss his mouth, nibble on his lips, slip him tongue and then pepper his adorably red face with kisses to watch him giggle with tearful eyes.

 

“I thought, I thought you liked me too” Junhee finally said when Donghun lied on top of him, cuddling and nuzzling his neck after their heated and long-awaited make out session “but I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to entertain that thought…”

 

“Same” Donghun chuckled onto his neck and made him shiver “I just, I was scared of losing you but now… now I wasn’t because, because I could keep you even if you didn’t feel the same.”

 

Junhee held him tighter.

 

“Yes, yes, yes” he whispered “now, I wasn’t scared of losing you so… you’re a really good kisser.” He chuckled and that made absolutely no sense.

 

“You’re not scared of losing me because I’m a good kisser?” Donghun joked and Junhee chortled “Well then I’m not scared of losing you because, because you smell good.”

 

Junhee cackled.

 

“Logic.”

 

“No logic.”

 

“I know.” Junhee said “Kiss me again, please.”

 

“Oh, he’s polite about kissing” Donghun said jokingly getting away and kissing him again “since when though?”

 

Junhee knew what he was asking.

 

“Since, well, the beginning but… but then the more I got to know you, instead of the feelings going away, they just got stronger” Donghun shut him up with another kiss and Junhee held his face with his small, warm hands.

 

“That’s me, dork. That’s not fair.” He kissed him again and made him chuckle. Donghun relished the smile under his lips. He’d wanted to kiss that smile for so long.

 

“Was it worth the wait?”

 

“Even though we’re fools?”

 

“Even though we’re fools.”

 

“It most definitely was.” Donghun confirmed and grabbed Junhee’s phone and snapped a picture of him kissing Junhee’s smile.

 

“Hyung! Why did you do that?”

 

“Yuchannie needs to see it first” he said “if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have gathered the courage.”

 

“Then you send it to Kwannie and Sehyoonie hyung” Junhee chuckled.

 

Yuchan’s reply came almost as soon as the picture was sent and Donghun typed,

 

_‘Donghun here. Look at what these panicked homos did.’_

 

Junhee cackled at the text and said he should just forward it to Sehyoon and Byeongkwan like that, so he did.

 

**Channie**

DJSHFJKSHJKHFDGKJFD

DSKJHFJKGHFDGJDKFHGLKDFJGLKJDFLKGJD

SDJKHFJGKHDFKJGHDJFHGJDKFHGKJDDDDDHGTRTU

YEEEEEHAAAAAAW!! FINALLY!!

I WANT TO FRAME THIS PICTURE OMG!!!!!!!!!!!

IT’S SO PURE

YOU’RE BOTH SMILING

UWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWUWU

MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS

I NEED A MOMENT TO CATCH MY BREATH

11:32pm

**Byeongkwannie**

 

AAAHHHHHHH!!

CONGRATULATIONS, HYUNGS!

OH MY LORD THAT’S SO CUTE!

I’M SO PROUD OF YOU TWO!

FINALLY!!!

11:34pm

 

**Sehyoonie hyung**

 

The cutest panicked homos I’ve ever seen aww :’)

I gather that that’s the reason why kwannie is crying and smiling

And trying to rip my arm off after typing furiously on his phone

Im really happy for you two ^_^

11:35pm

I hope you went prepared for any action aside from kissing ;D

11:36pm

 

Junhee covered his mouth and Donghun started laughing.

 

“Hell, I’m telling you, the quiet ones are the worst.” He avowed and Junhee cackled. Donghun paused and looked at him silence before saying, “I did, though.”

 

“So did I.” Junhee confirmed not even letting a second pass “Just in case.”

 

“I love me a man who’s careful but hopeful too.” Donghun said, going in for the cuddles again and nuzzling Junhee’s neck making him chuckle.

 

“So do I.” Junhee said holding him back and kissing his head and then his cheeks before going for the mouth again “I love you, hyung. I love you so much. I l-love you so much.” And of course he was crying and of course they were both crying.

 

“Shush, don’t cry, idiot, now I’m crying too. I love you too, I love you so much, I love so damn much I was willing to fight off my feelings to keep you, if you didn’t feel the same.”

 

Junhee gave him a big tearful squeeze that he returned.

 

“We’ll post the bed selca.” He said sniffling “We’ll post it and, and I don’t care. People already have theories about, about our relationship so whatever. Let them know.”

 

He didn’t mean ‘let them know that it’s real’ and Donghun knew that and felt the same. They didn’t care that people were suspicious. They didn’t care about what people theorised or fantasised or whatever.

 

 

**Channie**

You’re both reading this

Im recovered now

My heart is intact

Donghun hyung

Carly Rae Jepsen is waiting for that cover ;D

11:49pm

 

“What?” Junhee frowned and chuckled, wiping his eyes “The ‘Call me Maybe’ girl?”

“Oh no” Donghun groaned and chortled with a small wince “I said that if you returned my feelings I’d cover that song. Like, two years ago” he snorted and Junhee gasped “yeah, and then I made the mistake of remembering it a while back… damn.”

“Hyung” Junhee was losing it as he wiped his eyes and reached his hands to wipe Donghun’s face, which made him laugh “we’ll sing it together. Let’s me a duet cover and post it!”

“God, he actually suggested that back then” Donghun cackled “Yuchannie will have a blast.”

“Well, we’ll do it then! For good luck!”

“I don’t know how singing that song will bring good luck but alright.” He snorted “Hey” he started singing in tune to the song “I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know who you are and you know me too. Even if you can’t see me, I’ll call you baby.”

Junhee had a fit of the giggles and he grinned.

“We’ll sing the real thing.”

“Of course” Donghun snorted holding him close and kissing his cheek “but that’s what happened in a nutshell.”

“You left out the bit where we pretended we didn’t know.”

“Okay” Donghun tried again, clearing his throat “Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but I know who you are you know me. Even if you can’t see me, I’ll call you baby and we’ll pretend not to know each other because we’re fo-o-o-ols” he ad-libbed the extra lyric and Junhee started wheezing with laughter.

“Okay, we can sing the, the parody to the boys, but we’ll cover the real thing first.” Junhee said and Donghun grinned.

“Okay. I bet it’d be a big success, like the crackhead coffee song we sang two years ago.” He cackled.

“It’d also instantly out us.” Junhee chortled and Donghun snorted.

“Well, so it’ll be exclusive for our friends and Yuchannie’s girl. Bet she’ll find it a riot too.”

They didn’t care about what people thought of them and even if that only stayed with their friends and Yuchan’s girlfriend, they didn’t care that people thought they were gay.

All they cared about was that they’d made it big in music with their friends, all of them on their own, with their own skills and hardwork. They’d made it. They’d endured everything, all those years of no results, of failure, until finally success knocked on their door and they let it in. They were now, literally, on top of a mountain but they wouldn’t come tumbling down: they’d fly up higher and higher into outer space and reach true stardom.

Love for the art and teamwork was really all you needed to make the dream work sometimes.

They’d believed wholeheartedly that the next time would be better for sure and it was.

It really was.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is welcome (pls)


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